Thinking of recording Christian TV

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-06-24 02:17am

There's a Christian TV show on now, and you know, it's almost hilarious how over-the-top they are. The wild gesticulations, repetitive shouting, constant attempts to sell you merchandising ... it's downright hilarious.

Jabba the Hutt · Post by **Jabba the Hutt** » 2003-06-24 02:19am

It's good comedy man, all the great's like Sedrick the Enertainer and Drew Carry got their start on C-TV.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-06-24 02:21am

My brother and I watched a little of a tele-fundrasier one time... I was just flipping the channels and saw it. I started making commentary on it, and he just cracked up. Good times.

Jabba the Hutt · Post by **Jabba the Hutt** » 2003-06-24 02:25am

On one of the major ones, one of the female hosts looks like Dolly Parton +20 years, +20 pounds of plastic, +5 pounds make-up.

She usually wants me to give her money, I usually don't give it to her.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-06-24 02:25am

If you haven't seen "Creation in 21st Century" with Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Carl Baugh, you ain't seen nothin'!

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-06-24 02:37am

There's a local fellow that preaches on TV around here. Last time I paid more than 10 second's worth attention to him was pre-2000. He was talking about the horrible things to come and the endtimes regarding the Y2K bug.

The only reason I know his show still exists is that sometimes the channel will advertise his show. Perhaps I should watch it.

Drewcifer · Post by **Drewcifer** » 2003-06-24 03:04am

A long time ago, I lived way out in the boonies of Kansas for a bit, and late at night we'd watch the local Christian channel for fun. The best was the "Body Builders for Christ". They'd rip phonebooks in half, break baseball bats on their legs, and tear off handcuffs. Great fun.

Too, did anyone see that Robert Tilton .mpg that was on the MyBoot movie theatre, before it was closed down (due to excessive bandwidth)? It was adolescent, but hilarious: someone edited in fart sounds whenever he made those weird faces he makes. I've never laughed so hard in my life.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-06-24 03:33am

You must have a grudge against your VCR if you'd force it to deal with such crap, the massive hilarity aside.

Jawawithagun · Post by **Jawawithagun** » 2003-06-24 05:04am

the islamic programmes on public access channel here are better than the christian ones.

fundies here are truly a sad and incompetent lot.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-06-24 06:45am

Jawawithagun wrote:the islamic programmes on public access channel here are better than the christian ones.

Well, duh. Islam is a much cooler religion than Christianity.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-06-24 07:02am

Wong: If you have satellite or cable, watch the GOD channel.

I repeat. Watch. The. GOD. Channel.

I even think there are several other versions of it also free (though my parents have BSkyB so i have no idea if this is the same in Canada, though they're obviously American channels).

When nothing else is on and I feel the need for a laugh, there is nothing quite like watching a live service done by only the finest televangelists followed by 6 hours of Christian rock. Reminds me of Pastor Roberts in GTA: VC.

Jawawithagun · Post by **Jawawithagun** » 2003-06-24 07:37am

DPDarkPrimus wrote:
Jawawithagun wrote:the islamic programmes on public access channel here are better than the christian ones.
Well, duh. Islam is a much cooler religion than Christianity.

Though, the christians usually have a better grip on the language. But germans without any knowledge of the english language trying to sing gospels... *scared out of his skin*

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-06-24 08:14am

i get a cable channel called EWTN. Lots of talk shows with nuns and priests and stuff. One show is like Oprah except with an old white nun. Mother Angelica or something like that. They even have a "News" program a 6:00 dear god is it awful.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-06-24 08:37am

And you people thought Father Ted was a fictional sit-com.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-06-24 01:37pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:Wong: If you have satellite or cable, watch the GOD channel.

I repeat. Watch. The. GOD. Channel.

The God Channel??

?

And I thought "Trinity Broadcasting Network" was an explicitly christian name for a channel.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-06-24 01:48pm

I watch the GOD channel :- TV that watches out for you.

what makes me laugh is that there's GOD2, i wonder who this god2 character is?
The humour arises because they know they have like 7 channels all saying jesus is the way, creationism etc etc...on multiple channels! Now if only they could apply the channels idea to other faiths or lack thereof.

A scary thing to watch is the JC's kids set of programs. They're vile.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-06-24 03:21pm

Yes they even had a movie in the US, vegetales. Uhhhh....

We have PAX TV on basic cable, and the family channel. Pat Robertson's little piece of meat. He still owns enough of it to keep his little ratings dropper, the 700 club on the air. Fox sold it off because it wasn't bringing in viewers.

There I times I wish I had a GOD sat. Scorched corprate headquarters.

Behold the power of the almighty partical beam.

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2003-06-24 03:42pm

SyntaxVorlon wrote:Yes they even had a movie in the US, vegetales. Uhhhh....

We have PAX TV on basic cable, and the family channel. Pat Robertson's little piece of meat. He still owns enough of it to keep his little ratings dropper, the 700 club on the air. Fox sold it off because it wasn't bringing in viewers.

There I times I wish I had a GOD sat. Scorched corprate headquarters.
Behold the power of the almighty partical beam.

What's wrong with VegieTales? I've grown to love it, after seeing the same episodes countless times with my nephews......

PAX TV... yes... well what can you say when one of their prime time programs stars Billy Ray Cyrus.

700 Club != Gaither Power Hour.... When I'm at my mom's I'd rather see/hear religious bluegrass to a rich Republican presidential-wannabe anyday.

Jawawithagun · Post by **Jawawithagun** » 2003-06-24 05:16pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:And you people thought Father Ted was a fictional sit-com.

Naw, Father Ted is just the truth!

Post by **AdmiralKanos** » 2003-06-24 06:11pm

LadyTevar wrote:What's wrong with VegieTales? I've grown to love it, after seeing the same episodes countless times with my nephews......

Veggie tales has a sense of humour, and it provides cleaned-up versions of Biblical stories for the amusement of children. It's really quite a clever way of softening them up for the blood-and-guts real version of these stories; give them a sanitized version, get them to accept its goodness, and then after years of indoctrination, carefully spoonfeed the real version to them once they've already taken intellectual "ownership" of the stories and will tend to defend them and ignore their moral bankruptcy even in the face of overwhelming evidence.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-06-24 06:26pm

I remember one time on TBN they had this dude dressed up as Jesus come out and do a WWF style beatdown on this guy dressed up as Satan. I almost died laughing.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-06-24 06:50pm

Durran Korr wrote:I remember one time on TBN they had this dude dressed up as Jesus come out and do a WWF style beatdown on this guy dressed up as Satan. I almost died laughing.

"How does it feel Satan? You're the LORD's BITCH now. Say it, who's yo daddy? I can't hear you! Don't make me do the Crucified Mutha move on you again. Praaaaaaise the LORD, that's a royal smackdown, I do declare."

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2003-06-24 09:27pm

Durran Korr wrote:I remember one time on TBN they had this dude dressed up as Jesus come out and do a WWF style beatdown on this guy dressed up as Satan. I almost died laughing.

I bet his finisher was the Crucifix Powerbomb.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-06-25 01:43am

VeggieTales, if it had just been a series that taught morals, and not taught morals using Christian theology, could have been the new Sesame Street or Barney.

Instead...

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2003-06-25 02:14am

Admiral Valdemar wrote:"How does it feel Satan? You're the LORD's BITCH now. Say it, who's yo daddy?"

Dargo: "I'm your Daddy."