"Portal" Fanfic

Kurgan · Post by **Kurgan** » 2003-07-02 06:13pm

I just finished reading it (on GK's site), and I must say it was less impressive than Mike's.

It IS definately trek biased, but in a somewhat silly way.

For example, I thought it was established that Trek torpedoes were too "big" to fit into the 2 meter wide exhaust port on the Death Star?

Also he makes the Super Star Destroyers 24 meters long (maybe a different model?).

In addition, he postulates that the Force "doesn't work" on people from the Trek galaxy. Okay, it's stupid, but let's say he's right. Logically though, it should STILL WORK on the Trek people when the visit the Wars galaxy.

Obviously, because its an energy field that surrounds everything, including inanimate objects. The energy would "surround" them and it would work.

This reeks of the crappy "their universe doesn't obey the laws of physics like ours, but our technology will still work if we go there, etc" but isn't consistent.

O'Brien, Troi, etc were "in" the SW universe long enough that even if it took awhile for the force to "find them" it should have done so by the time they tried to invade the Emperor's palace.

He also embraced the "turbolasers are lasers" fallacy and the "hyperdrive is straight line only" fallacy.

The image of thousands of Star Destroyers continually flying into the debris of their destroyed counterparts in an endless line of destruction was quite an image...

And finally, my last gripe with the story, how many torpedoes (including Quantum Torps) does the Enterprise E carry? In the story it seemed to have an infinite number... but since they are physical objects, surely there would be a limit? GK says he only accepts the Special Edition trilogy as canon, but he doesn't say what sources he uses for Star Trek.

Kurgan · Post by **Kurgan** » 2003-07-02 06:15pm

His version of the anomaly was very Trek-like and cool, I will admit.

His and Mike's solutions to the "how do the galaxies intersect" were both very nice, simple, but believable.

Also, GK's having Picard say the galaxy was "Long ago and far away" was cute. : )

Post by **Colonel Olrik** » 2003-07-02 06:15pm

I just finished reading it (on GK's site), and I must say it was less impressive than Mike's.

Eeeeekk. Understatement of the year!

Off with his head!

Sorry, I couldn't resist. I promise I won't spam anymore

Kurgan · Post by **Kurgan** » 2003-07-02 06:16pm

Perhaps his "no force" solution comes from the idea of the Yuzang Vong being immune to it from the EU? Only trouble is, he claims those stories are "non-canon" so why should he believe them? Oh well.

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-07-02 06:25pm

Kurgan wrote:Perhaps his "no force" solution comes from the idea of the Yuzang Vong being immune to it from the EU? Only trouble is, he claims those stories are "non-canon" so why should he believe them? Oh well.

If I remember right, [mild spoiler]The YV aren't immune to the force, they are just in a different part than the one stuidied by most Jedi[/mild spoiler]

Kurgan · Post by **Kurgan** » 2003-07-02 06:29pm

Well that doesn't suck as much, but it still is a lame cop-out.

Why can't they just say "they use the force to block out people who try to use the force on them?"

Simple, avoids technobabble, and lets them be "uber" without being too stupid.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-07-02 06:35pm

I giggle every time I think of the Enterprise withstanding the massed fire of the DS's thousands of HTL batteries. Even though the shields were failing.

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2003-07-02 06:52pm

Kurgan wrote:Also he makes the Super Star Destroyers 24 meters long (maybe a different model?).

What. The. Fuck.

Rightous Fist Of Heaven · Post by **Rightous Fist Of Heaven** » 2003-07-02 07:37pm

Oh my god..someone actually READ that shit longer than 5 minutes without throwing up?

Micheal Ryans, Beta pilot · Post by **Micheal Ryans, Beta pilot** » 2003-07-02 07:57pm

Rightous Fist Of Heaven wrote:Oh my god..someone actually READ that shit longer than 5 minutes without throwing up?

I managed to read the whole damn thing.

Guess that doesn't say much about my state of mind huh?

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-07-02 08:02pm

Frank Hipper wrote:I giggle every time I think of the Enterprise withstanding the massed fire of the DS's thousands of HTL batteries. Even though the shields were failing.

I gotta go read this now. (I'll keep a barf bag handy)

Micheal Ryans, Beta pilot · Post by **Micheal Ryans, Beta pilot** » 2003-07-02 08:05pm

Mitth-raw-nuruodo wrote:
Frank Hipper wrote:I giggle every time I think of the Enterprise withstanding the massed fire of the DS's thousands of HTL batteries. Even though the shields were failing.

I gotta go read this now. (I'll keep a barf bag handy)

Don't, seriously. Unless you've got a cast-iron stomach.

I have a remarkable capacity for reading literally anything, and I have, I'm proud to say, only read Portal once for research purposes. Graham Kennedy may be many things, but a good crossover writer he is not.

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-07-02 08:15pm

http://www.daltonator.net/fanfics/stori ... portal.txt

laff, that's good. Now I have to read the original one.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-07-02 08:26pm

Micheal Ryans, Beta pilot wrote:
I managed to read the whole damn thing.

Guess that doesn't say much about my state of mind huh?

No natural creature could survive reading that most foul concentration of stupidity, illogical and generally poor writing.

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-07-02 08:28pm

I don't think I can go on after reading Chap 1....

(not for the faint of heart)
.
.
.
.

total insanity wrote: At that moment, a filament of brilliant orange stabbed out from the ship. The beam swept across the surface of the Star Destroyer's hull, stuttering in a pattern almost too rapid to follow. Beltain felt the huge vessel shake beneath his feet as a series of explosions appeared in rapid succession across the hull of his ship.
"Multiple shield breaches!" the tactical officer said, his voice disbelieving. "Reading damage to all hull sections."
Beltain looked back out at the enemy ship. The single beam was still stabbing its pattern of destruction over his hull. "Launch all fighters!" he yelled. "Full attack!"
At that moment the pattern of destruction stopped. Silence descended over the bridge. "Damage report." Beltain ordered, his voice shaking.
"The turbo laser batteries and ion cannon..." the tactical officer said in something approaching awe, "they're... gone. All of them."
Baltain thought it over for less than a second. The speed that beam tracked around my ship, it would hit fighters without any problem. And a weapon that could carve through a Star Destroyer's shields like that would barely notice a fighter.
"Cancel the launches," he snapped. "Jump to lightspeed, as soon as possible."

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2003-07-02 08:59pm

GK is a liar. He claims not to use the "non-canon" EU, and the little fucker uses WEG ISD weapon figures instead of those on the fucking model itself!

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-07-02 09:15pm

I read the whole thing and it didn't phase me at all.

Kurgan · Post by **Kurgan** » 2003-07-02 09:48pm

I'm sorry! I put meters instead of kilometers!

He said the SSD was 24 km!

I couldn't edit my post and didn't realize my typo until now... heh thanks for pointing it out.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-07-02 09:53pm

I like XaLEv have read that POS and didn't flich(more because I've read worse)

Seriously the thing became something out of MST3K for me....but without the commentary.

Kurgan · Post by **Kurgan** » 2003-07-02 10:01pm

The other thing is.. how do we know that the E-E can seperate its Saucer section?

This was never observed (or mentioned, IIRC) in the movies...

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2003-07-02 10:11pm

Kurgan wrote:I'm sorry! I put meters instead of kilometers!

He said the SSD was 24 km!

I couldn't edit my post and didn't realize my typo until now... heh thanks for pointing it out.

Ah. I see.

Slowhand · Post by **Slowhand** » 2003-07-03 04:38am

Kurgan wrote:In addition, he postulates that the Force "doesn't work" on people from the Trek galaxy. Okay, it's stupid, but let's say he's right. Logically though, it should STILL WORK on the Trek people when the visit the Wars galaxy.

Obviously, because its an energy field that surrounds everything, including inanimate objects. The energy would "surround" them and it would work.

This reeks of the crappy "their universe doesn't obey the laws of physics like ours, but our technology will still work if we go there, etc" but isn't consistent..

I have long postulated just why the Force doesn't seem to be in affect in the Star Trek Universe. I have narrowed a list or reasons down to two for sake of brevity.

1. The alien at the centre of the Galaxy in ST:V The Final Frontier is contained by a powerful force. If the Force is all about balance as George Lucas often implies than perhaps the side of light is wholly dedicated to keeping this irresistable evil at bay.

2. The apparent contrast between the two galaxies regarding the level of naturally occuring spatial/temporal phenomenon. It could be theorized that the prevelance of space/time warping effects negates the Force in Trekdom.

For the record, the explanation of the Force in TPM is worse than Greedo shooting first, in my opinion. Midi-chlorians indeed! *snorts* Would it not have better if it were explained as the ether than binds the galaxy that a trained individual can make bend and yield. The supernatural hum of the cosmos, where Jedi's are the musicians and the universe is their symphony, if you will. Explaining it away with microscopic organisms that dwell in all things, including rocks and other inorganic matter, makes the Jedi akin to scientists rather than priests.

Considering that GL bent over backward to make sure that Star Wars has a mythic quality about it, describing one's Force abilities as the number of midi-chlorians in one's bloodstream brings the Force down to a quantifiable, scientific proof. Midi-chlorians are not congruent with the mythos.

Shadow · Post by **Shadow** » 2003-07-03 06:53am

This story is for enjoyment purposes only - I was trying to write a dramatic and tense bit of fiction, not to depict what I think would actually happen if the USS Enterprise met the Star Wars Empire. In “reality” (strange word to use in this context!), I think that the events here would go MUCH more in Starfleet's favour, but pushing that argument is emphatically NOT what this story is for.

Heh...

FBHthelizardmage · Post by **FBHthelizardmage** » 2003-07-03 08:50am

Mitth-raw-nuruodo wrote:
Kurgan wrote:Perhaps his "no force" solution comes from the idea of the Yuzang Vong being immune to it from the EU? Only trouble is, he claims those stories are "non-canon" so why should he believe them? Oh well.
If I remember right, [mild spoiler]The YV aren't immune to the force, they are just in a different part than the one stuidied by most Jedi[/mild spoiler]

its also refuited by the books, in which the YVs slaves, also from outside the galaxy are quite effectable by the force

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2003-07-03 10:47am

Kurgan wrote:In addition, he postulates that the Force "doesn't work" on people from the Trek galaxy. Okay, it's stupid, but let's say he's right. Logically though, it should STILL WORK on the Trek people when the visit the Wars galaxy.

All the force users were completely unable to affect trek characters, but of course Troi still gets all of her telepathic powers.

GK says he only accepts the Special Edition trilogy as canon.

And he's lying. He insists in his fanfic on the old "SW ships use nuclear fusion" myth even though that information is found NOWHERE in the SE trillogy. Like most pro-trek debaters he simply picks what parts of the official information is most helpful to his side and ignores the rest while pretending he's not being a hypocrite.

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