"Portal" Fanfic

Micheal Ryans, Beta pilot · Post by **Micheal Ryans, Beta pilot** » 2003-07-03 12:58pm

Sea Skimmer wrote:
Micheal Ryans, Beta pilot wrote:I managed to read the whole damn thing.

Guess that doesn't say much about my state of mind huh?
No natural creature could survive reading that most foul concentration of stupidity, illogical and generally poor writing.

I can read pretty much anything, seriously, and I could barely stomach the one reading (cursorty at that) I did of Portal.

Tribun · Post by **Tribun** » 2003-07-03 01:43pm

Portal is all the shit that ST-Fanatics produce and all the lies of ST-Fanatics about SW compressed into one horrible fanfiction. I is so ungly, that it could be used as a example for Trekkie-ideas and biased thinking.

Mike, I have a idea. Possible for you to pick that work of a poisend brain apart to show, how many shit is in it?
If you not have the time for it, could we do it online here? It would be sure great fun

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-07-03 01:45pm

I was lucky...right after reading it I stumbled onto the antidote. I read Conquest. I'm feeling much better now, no lasting effects from reading that steaming turd. *Twitch* Seriously.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2003-07-03 01:48pm

Kurgan wrote:Perhaps his "no force" solution comes from the idea of the Yuzang Vong being immune to it from the EU? Only trouble is, he claims those stories are "non-canon" so why should he believe them? Oh well.

Portal was written prior to the release of the NJO. It stank then, and it stinks now.

Actually, the Force-immune enemy isn't really that interesting of an idea. There are only two kinds of people that can effectively combat Jedi on a regular basis: those who use the Force, and those who are not affected by the Force.

The SW Galaxy is so incredibly overpopulated with DS users that only the second one is interesting.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-07-03 02:06pm

I am curious, I want to read "Portal" can someone give me a link. I wanna see just how bad it is, all I've seen so far are small parts...those small parts are really bad but I want to see more. PM it to me if you don't want to post the link here.

Warspite · Post by **Warspite** » 2003-07-03 02:24pm

Captain_Cyran wrote:I am curious, I want to read "Portal" can someone give me a link. I wanna see just how bad it is, all I've seen so far are small parts...those small parts are really bad but I want to see more. PM it to me if you don't want to post the link here.

http://www.ditl.org
On the bottom is the "Recreation" link, from there... Enter at your own risk.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-07-03 02:26pm

Warspite wrote:
Captain_Cyran wrote:I am curious, I want to read "Portal" can someone give me a link. I wanna see just how bad it is, all I've seen so far are small parts...those small parts are really bad but I want to see more. PM it to me if you don't want to post the link here.
http://www.ditl.org
On the bottom is the "Recreation" link, from there... Enter at your own risk.

I fully recommend reading Conquest right afterwards or a Chapter of Starcrossed stat!! *twicth* You wouldn't want to have any lasting *twitch* effects would you?

Warspite · Post by **Warspite** » 2003-07-03 02:31pm

Stravo wrote:I fully recommend reading Conquest right afterwards or a Chapter of Starcrossed stat!! *twicth* You wouldn't want to have any lasting *twitch* effects would you?

I never could pass from the first few paragrahs. My memory is fuzzy about it, I "think" it was after the crew had their usual brunch meeting to discuss what should they do. (:roll:)

Fortunately, I was fully vacinated by Conquest!

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-07-03 02:54pm

Shadow wrote:
This story is for enjoyment purposes only - I was trying to write a dramatic and tense bit of fiction, not to depict what I think would actually happen if the USS Enterprise met the Star Wars Empire. In “reality” (strange word to use in this context!), I think that the events here would go MUCH more in Starfleet's favour, but pushing that argument is emphatically NOT what this story is for.
Heh...

Riiiight...

From what little I remember of it (I don't think I got far beyond the first chapter before rolling my eyes in disgust) the E-E takes on a huge Imperial Battlefleet with Gunboats and all sorts of crap blasting away at it, suffers only some shield reductions and basically gets to blast the crap out of the entire Imperial Fleet!

How could it not go any more in the Federation's favor than that?! Unless it somehow gets more mild later on...

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2003-07-03 03:01pm

RogueIce wrote:How could it not go any more in the Federation's favor than that?! Unless it somehow gets more mild later on...

The Imperials don't do any damage to the E-E at all. Afterall, the nav-deflectors are completely immune to lasers, right?

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2003-07-03 03:03pm

Darth Servo wrote:
RogueIce wrote:How could it not go any more in the Federation's favor than that?! Unless it somehow gets more mild later on...
The Imperials don't do any damage to the E-E at all. Afterall, the nav-deflectors are completely immune to lasers, right?

According to Mr. Kennedy, he actually thinks that a confrontation between the Empire and the Federation would end up MUCH better for the Federation than his fanfic depicts.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-07-03 03:05pm

Master of Ossus wrote:
Darth Servo wrote:
RogueIce wrote:How could it not go any more in the Federation's favor than that?! Unless it somehow gets more mild later on...
The Imperials don't do any damage to the E-E at all. Afterall, the nav-deflectors are completely immune to lasers, right?
According to Mr. Kennedy, he actually thinks that a confrontation between the Empire and the Federation would end up MUCH better for the Federation than his fanfic depicts.

*Dr. Evil voice* RRiiigghhhtttt.

OK, I now nominate this thread for the most rolly eyes in a short period of time.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2003-07-03 03:09pm

Stravo wrote:OK, I now nominate this thread for the most rolly eyes in a short period of time.

Well, what do you expect? Its about 'Portal'--the fanfic for which the roll eyes icon was invented in the first place.

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2003-07-03 04:47pm

Master of Ossus wrote: According to Mr. Kennedy, he actually thinks that a confrontation between the Empire and the Federation would end up MUCH better for the Federation than his fanfic depicts.

In his "true depiction" the Death Star would fire, only to be absorbed by the shields of a shuttle, and hyperdrive would be 1.5 c.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2003-07-03 04:57pm

I read all of "Portal" once. I don't want to do it again.

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2003-07-03 05:51pm

I still haven't mustered the energy/boredom to go back to that site to try to read past chapter 3.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2003-07-03 05:54pm

I got halfway through chapter 2 and then skipped to the end. We need a "yawn" emoticon.

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2003-07-03 06:14pm

I think we should have two new emoticons labelled :gk: and :portal:
Like rolleyes or banging head but much worse.

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2003-07-03 06:32pm

Oh, come on, Portal wasn't that bad.....

It was just incredibly biased, stupid, two-faced, unresearched, and fan-boyish.

Bad would imply that it had potiental to be good

Tribun · Post by **Tribun** » 2003-07-03 07:07pm

Hey, in the department "worst fic".
It is the #1 on the Trek side, and won't be topped for a long time.
#1 on the Wars side is "Star Destroyers Rampant" by the way.

thecreech · Post by **thecreech** » 2003-07-03 08:19pm

I didn't even finish the first chapter. That fanfic was hurting so bad i wanted to kill myself

Mutant Headcrab · Post by **Mutant Headcrab** » 2003-07-03 08:49pm

My nomination for a :portal: smiliey. Appropriate, no?

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2003-07-03 09:01pm

Mutant Headcrab wrote:
My nomination for a :portal: smiliey. Appropriate, no?

The face looks like Kennedy.

thecreech · Post by **thecreech** » 2003-07-03 10:32pm

Mutant Headcrab wrote:
My nomination for a :portal: smiliey. Appropriate, no?

excellent! i felt like that when reading it. Good find

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-07-04 02:02am

Stravo wrote:I fully recommend reading Conquest right afterwards or a Chapter of Starcrossed stat!! *twicth* You wouldn't want to have any lasting *twitch* effects would you?

*notices shamless plug for story in there*