Ashcroft's booby prize

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-07-05 09:47pm

http://www.atheistalliance.org/library/ ... booby.html

During the "Celebration of the Muse", recently held at Cabrillo College, author Claire Braz-Valentine was the highlight of the evening when she read the following:

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AN OPEN LETTER TO JOHN ASHCROFT, ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE UNITED STATES

On January 28, 2002, Attorney General John Ashcroft announced that he spent $8,000 of taxpayer's money for drapes to cover up the exposed breast of The Spirit of Justice, an 18 ft aluminum statue of a woman that stands in the Department of Justice's Hall of Justice.

John, John, John, you've got your priorities all wrong. While men fly airplanes into skyscrapers, dive bomb the pentagon, while they stick explosives into their shoes, and then book a seat right next to us, while they hide knives in their luggage, steal kids on school buses, take little girls from their beds at night, drive trucks into our state capital buildings, while our president calls dangerous men all over the world evildoers and devils, while we live in the threat of biological warfare, nuclear destruction, annihilation, you are out buying yardage to save Americans from the appalling alarming, abominable aluminum alloy of evil, that terrible ten foot tin tittie. You might not be able to find Bin Laden, but you sure as hell found the hooter in the hall of justice.

It's not that we aren't grateful. But while we were begging the women of Afghanistan to not cover up their faces, you are begging your staff members to just cover up that nipple, to save the American people from that monstrous metal mammary. How can we ever thank you? So, in your office every morning, in your secret prayer meeting, while an American woman is sexually assaulted every 6 seconds, while anthrax floats around the post office and settles in the chest of senior citizens, you've got another chest on your mind. While American sons arrive home in body bags and heat seeking missiles fly around a foreign country looking for any warm body, you think of another body.

And you pray for the biggest bra in the world. John, you see that breast on the Spirit of Justice in the spirit of your own inhibited sexuality. And when we women see our grandmothers, our mothers, our daughters, our granddaughters, our sisters, ourselves, when we women see that statue, the Spirit of Justice, we see the spirit of strength, the spirit of survival.

Every day we view innocent bodies dragged out of rubble, and women and children laid out like thin limp dolls and baptized into death as collateral damage, and we see the hollow-eyed Afghani mother whose milk has dried up underneath her burka in famine, in shame, and her children are dead at her breast.

While you look at that breast, John, that jug on the Spirit of Justice, and deal with your thoughts of lust and sex and nakedness, we see it as a testimony to motherhood. You see it as a tit.

It's not the money it cost. It's the message you send. We've got the right to live in freedom. We've got the right to cheat Americans out of millions of dollars and then just not want to tell Congress about it.

We've got the right to drop bombs, night and day, on a small country that has no army, no navy, no military at all, because we've got the right to bear arms. But we just better not even think about the right to bare breasts.

So now John, you can be photographed while you stand there and talk about guns and bombs and poisons without that breast appearing over your right shoulder, without that bodacious bosom bothering you and we just wanted to tell you in the spirit of justice, in the spirit of truth, John, there is still one very big boob left standing there in that picture.

submitted by Bob and Lora Attwood

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-07-05 10:01pm

Yeah so? That statue has always been an embarassment during
press conferences.

Back in the 80s, when they were handing out copies of the DOJ's
report on child porn or something, the news reporters were doing crazy
antics to get the angle just right to capture the DOJ guy handing
out the books in front of the nekkid statue.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-07-05 10:20pm

It's not the money it cost. It's the message you send. We've got the right to live in freedom. We've got the right to cheat Americans out of millions of dollars and then just not want to tell Congress about it.

The thinly veiled antiwar commentary aside, WTF are they referring to here?

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-07-05 10:34pm

I think he wanted it covered up because he's gay. He's not comfortable around naked women, real or statue. I'm sure if he had the money, he would have replaced it with a naked statue of Michealangelo's David.

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2003-07-05 11:13pm

I can find no report of this incident having occured--can you provide evidence, Aly?

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-07-05 11:22pm

The Duchess of Zeon wrote:I can find no report of this incident having occured--can you provide evidence, Aly?

The left is in a tizzy because Ashcroft ordered a drape system to be installed
to hide the naked statue of justice during important press conferences due
to the Press going to outrageous lengths to get shots showing the talkee
at the lectern in front of a naked tit.

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-07-05 11:59pm

what i think is funny is that nixon and reagan both had studies done to find what harm pornography causes to human minds. the result said the only harm causes was papaer cuts from turning the pages. reagan promptly ignored the study, because he didnt want the facts he wanted something to back his antiporn mindset.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-07-06 12:02am

This ranks up there with Ted Rall and Pat Buchanan columns among the most retarded things I have ever read.

The moronic authors are attacking a strawman throughout the entire piece. How is the fact that John Ashcroft covered up some tits on a statue related in any way to his performance is Attorney General? They should actually focus of the way Ashcroft handles the things they mentioned rather than stupid bullshit like this.

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-07-06 12:38am

I posted it here because I found it funny... But because of its political nature...

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2003-07-06 01:45am

MKSheppard wrote:
The Duchess of Zeon wrote:I can find no report of this incident having occured--can you provide evidence, Aly?
The left is in a tizzy because Ashcroft ordered a drape system to be installed
to hide the naked statue of justice during important press conferences due
to the Press going to outrageous lengths to get shots showing the talkee
at the lectern in front of a naked tit.

I can't even find any evidence that this drape system was installed, except in a news article from an "indy media" style source about a year after the supposed "fact".

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-07-06 01:50am

Can anyone answer my question?

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-07-06 10:16am

The Duchess of Zeon wrote: I can't even find any evidence that this drape system was installed, except in a news article from an "indy media" style source about a year after the supposed "fact".

It was installed. Go take a look in the Washington Post.

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2003-07-06 10:53am

MKSheppard wrote:
It was installed. Go take a look in the Washington Post.

I'll take your word for it; I just wanted a source that was halfway reliable to be named in relation to the story.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-07-06 11:54am

....

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2003-07-06 09:15pm

HemlockGrey wrote:....

*takes pity on Hemlock*

She just made it up, dear. Feel better now?

*ruffles Hemlock's hair*

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-07-07 02:03am

HemlockGrey wrote:
It's not the money it cost. It's the message you send. We've got the right to live in freedom. We've got the right to cheat Americans out of millions of dollars and then just not want to tell Congress about it.
The thinly veiled antiwar commentary aside, WTF are they referring to here?

Personal experience? I dunno, the rest of the article didn't have much of a point either.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-07-07 02:10am

I'm slightly more concerned about the hundreds of billions of pork and waste we get from congress.

LT.Hit-Man · Post by **LT.Hit-Man** » 2003-07-08 03:14am

Looks like the US gov is way to sexuly uptight, hell from the sounds of this it would seem to me that Ashcroft is in dire need of getting his rocks off big time, maybe he should book an apointment with lawinski