[rant] Soap Which Does't Clean

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-07-08 09:39pm

I am not happy. I just spent 15 minutes taking a shower and I don't feel clean thanks to the stupid soap my parents bought. It's some kind of designer soap or something with lotions, moisturizers, and a bunch of other crap in it, and it was just responsible for the worst shower I've ever taken in my life.

I opened up the soap and was like "mmmm..this smells good", too bad that was the only good thing I could say about it. And so I went and lathered up and rinsed off in the shower, and I'm like "what the fuck is this shit?!". I'd just washed myself and my skin still felt like it had a layer of oily crap on top of it, I just did not feel clean at all. So I tried soaping my arms and rinsing off again, and god be damned it still felt all oily and unclean.

Which leads me to this rant. I hate this fucking designer soap! I'm sure it cleans well enough but I just don't feel nice and clean when I'm done showering! In fact I felt just as dirty stepping out of the shower as I did before I stepped into it, I just smelled a hell of a lot better. I've had it with this shit! I need my regular soap that strips all the dirt and crap off my skin and makes me feel clean and fresh when I finish showering. In fact, I'm going to go buy some as soon as I get up tomorrow.

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2003-07-08 09:46pm

Thats too bad. What brand of soap is it?

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-07-08 09:46pm

I know that feeling - its horrible to clean yourself, then discover that you are even more unclean than when you began.

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-07-08 09:51pm

I hate that feeling. Now I just use those washpuff thingies, so whatever the soap doesn't clean off gets manually scraped off. A good feeling every time

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-07-08 09:57pm

Vorlon1701 wrote:I hate that feeling. Now I just use those washpuff thingies, so whatever the soap doesn't clean off gets manually scraped off. A good feeling every time

"Washpuff thingies"real men use steel wool.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-07-08 09:59pm

I don’t think most fancy soaps are meant to be unwrapped.

Jadeite · Post by **Jadeite** » 2003-07-08 09:59pm

I hate when that happens. I also hate when a soap strips off the oil completely, leaving the skin feeling rough.

Saurencaerthai · Post by **Saurencaerthai** » 2003-07-08 10:29pm

Just give me a bar of Ivory, and I'm happy, thank you.

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2003-07-08 10:32pm

Thankfully, my family doesn't waste money on gimmicky soap.

We steal it from hotels.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-07-08 10:38pm

Andrew J. wrote:Thankfully, my family doesn't waste money on gimmicky soap.

We steal it from hotels.

So the money you save on soap is wasted in hotels.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-07-08 10:39pm

Designer soaps? You mean people waste money on those things? C'mon guys, soap is soap. Whatever gets you clean. Myself, I get the cheapest soap I can find and it does the job just as fine as the more expensive crap.

Hyperion · Post by **Hyperion** » 2003-07-08 10:40pm

Don't start me on that fancy, overpriced soap shit... Nothing sucked worse than the time my mom decided that she was gonna buy that Dove "soap" and chuck the Ivory and Dial... Not only does that shit last about as long as sodium or potassium in water, but it leaves more oil and crap on your skin than when you started, nevermind the fact the stuff don't lather worth anything... I ended up using the handsoap, which actually worked a lot better, and that wasn't saying a whole hell of a lot, when the stuff totally dissolved into a gooey white mess on the soap holder after the 3rd shower.

Remember: if it smells good, says it's good for your skin, and the females are buying it: IT DON'T WORK!!!

(granted one credit I will give that crap is that it didn't have enough "soap" in it to burn when used for lube... Unlike normal soap which leaves you with a feeling not unlike sticking it in a jar of acid...)

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-07-08 10:45pm

Hydrogen Peroxide and a wire brush for me, thank you!

Actually, I use Coast, stinks real perty and cleans me up real good.

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2003-07-08 10:53pm

Saurencaerthai wrote:Just give me a bar of Ivory, and I'm happy, thank you.

And it floats in the tub too!

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-07-08 11:17pm

LadyTevar wrote:
Saurencaerthai wrote:Just give me a bar of Ivory, and I'm happy, thank you.
And it floats in the tub too!

And, if you've seen Fight Club, you know why it floats.

What do you think 99.9% "pure" means when it comes to soap, anyway?

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-07-08 11:20pm

Nuh Uh, the Washpuff rules. You can use any type of soap with it.

Anyways, I use this cheap, generic, Wal-Mart stuff that smells like Eucalyptus for some strange reason, and it does the job well. I come out of the shower feeling clean, fresh, and smelling faintly of flowers. I've learned that fancy soaps just make you smell fresh, and you still feel grimy. I HATE that wet, grimy feel after a shower.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-07-08 11:22pm

"Washpuff?" Oy. It's a loofah, boneheads.

And yes, Sea Skimmer's absolutely right. Fancy soaps aren't supposed to be unwrapped. They're for looking pretty and smelling prettier.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-07-08 11:43pm

...I use liquid soap lathered onto a washtowel...

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-07-08 11:47pm

I can't identify with this rant. How the heck does it 'stay' on you after you've rinsed?

Oh, and btw, washpuffs are for big girly men. I just put the bar of soap directly ON me. Makes much more sense. And doesn't disturb my delicate homophobia.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2003-07-08 11:54pm

I use a bar of Ivory broken in half. It lasts longer that way. You know how soap kinda disappears over time when left in a damp environment? You can get more bang for your buck if you take out half a bar of soap at a time, plus it fits easier in the hand.

For my hands, I use Lava soap. Gets the shit off reeeeal good.

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-07-08 11:54pm

Vympel wrote:I can't identify with this rant. How the heck does it 'stay' on you after you've rinsed?

The soap doesn't do it's job, and you're still dirty after the shower. Water and oil/grime do not mix.

Oh, and btw, washpuffs are for big girly men. I just put the bar of soap directly ON me. Makes much more sense. And doesn't disturb my delicate homophobia.

I never had that, my parents were very thorough in their training and examples. My mom was the one that introduced me to the LoofahThank you Zaia, and I've used it ever since. My hands aren't abrasive enough.

Hyperion · Post by **Hyperion** » 2003-07-09 02:14am

Vorlon1701 wrote:*snip* My hands aren't abrasive enough.

*cough* I am so not going there...

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-07-09 02:20am

I can just see people washing with sandpaper gloves after this...

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2003-07-09 02:42am

Frank Hipper wrote:
LadyTevar wrote:
Saurencaerthai wrote:Just give me a bar of Ivory, and I'm happy, thank you.
And it floats in the tub too!
And, if you've seen Fight Club, you know why it floats.
What do you think 99.9% "pure" means when it comes to soap, anyway?

Heheh!!

And I use Dial, BTW...Cuts through the grease form my car too!

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-07-09 03:56am

Vympel wrote:I can't identify with this rant. How the heck does it 'stay' on you after you've rinsed?

Oh, and btw, washpuffs are for big girly men. I just put the bar of soap directly ON me. Makes much more sense. And doesn't disturb my delicate homophobia.

I, also, use the direct contact method.

And if your homophobia is delicate, perhaps we should talk. *puts arm around Vympel's shoulder and guides him to GALE Force*