This is just a little post I made. It started like this: some dipshit posted to their Live Journal that their parents are kicking them out, whine whine sob sob. Ok, that sucks, but they post it in the worst and stupidest way possible. Here, I quote:
Stupid Dipshit aka gawthikpunk wrote:my rents r meen
okay guess wat? this is wat hapenned today i got into a fite with my rnets becuz there making me move out by agust and im not redy yet butt i have to becuz my bros moved out when they were 18 and im a 19 so i have to. butt i have no plase to go or no jonb adn noone will hire me yet becuz oi dun have any experence so i will ahve to get some 1st. anyway we have a garag and im gona move in there secret becuz there it is where we ekeep all are junk so there is a matres in there and i will fit rite in
anf for food i decieded to sneek in wen they r gone so im not scared no more
and i am a ltitle happy becuz i lost wait! all i have aten in the last 3 days were a orenge, animal crakers, and lots of water and it is wrking
wen u set goles and put ur mind to htem it really works! okies latah guys
So I try to read through this mess of letters, trying to make out atleast one coherent sentece in what seems to be the aftermath of a tornado striking a dictionary publishing house. Much to no ones surprise I can't even get to the end of the first sentence. I responded as such:
Koji, god of all that is awesome and great wrote:What is wrong with you? Are you incapable of spelling a single word properly? Wait, now. I'm sorry, you spelled "I" correctly. Did you miss the SPELL CHECK that Live Journal can automatically perform for you before posting? Perhaps your parents should be sending you to elementary school instead of out into the real world, because I tend to agree with you: You are ill prepared for the life you face out there. It's quite clear you will never get a job, since there's absolutely no possibility a mentally retarded idiot such as yourself could have even graduated from high school let alone get an education. But don't worry, flipping burgers isn't that bad a job. And if you're thinking you'll get into a college, guess what? You have to pass various tests such as the ACT before you can even begin to attempt entry into college. And then there are the entry exams. So shut your mouth, stop complaining, and BAG MY GROCERIES because that's exactly what you'll be doing for the rest of your pathetic misspelled life. Asshole.
Yes, I know, I'm a prick. I take pride in that fact.