Being an Asshole

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2003-07-09 11:42am

That sucks.

I know my best friend and my girlfriend were originally fascinated by me because they found it hilarious how sarcastic and caustic I can be.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-07-09 12:40pm

I love being an asshole, and I hate how often I have to keep my comments to myself to keep from getting in deep shit. If only I could convince myself that the punishments would be merited.

TheFeniX · Post by **TheFeniX** » 2003-07-09 01:48pm

I am the asshole out of my group of friends. Anytime something mean needs to be said, everyone looks at me. Sure it's fun, but it does get old sometimes.

Ex: Megan (who is 100 lbs, and drop-dead gorgeous) is always whining about how she's fat and needs to loose weight.

Megan: "Am I fat?"
Everyone else: "No no, you look great" and on and on.
Me: "You know Megan? If you think you look fat, then you must be fat."
::watches tears roll::

Ex 2: Ted gets drunk and decides to spill Stawberry Daquari (SP, I don't care) all over our carpet. Eveyone else: "Ah, it's ok."
Me: "What the fuck is your problem you idiot. You better clean that up before I beat the stupid right out of you."

Ex 3 (I love this one): Girl I don't know comes over to our apart. Sits down on the balcony, stuffs some weed in her pipe, and starts smoking. My roomate say shit, because she's a stripper and they start thinking with "idiot Jr." when anything with TnA comes around. I walk outside and see this.

Me: ::taps her on shoulder:: "Hey, they finally legalized weed!?"
Her: :

: "uh, no."
Me: "Yea, and since it's illegal you have two choices. Put that up, and spend the next day prying my foot out of your ass."

Man, actually reading back on that..... I seriously don't know why I have as many friends as I do.

RadiO · Post by **RadiO** » 2003-07-09 02:23pm

I have a mate who deliberately winds me up with blatantly exaggerated racist and sexist jibes. None of it means anything, it's just intended to make me momentarily take it seriously. And I do, every single time.
So I turned the tables by speaking in semi-ebonics and exaggerating my childhood on the "mean" streets of Sedgley, making myself out to have been an infant playa leading a crew of vicious, SW-obsessed vandals.

The look of slackjawed horror on his face when I told him that, as a nuthin' to fuck with five-year-old, I pistol-whipped a friend senseless for "betraying his homies" was classic... (What I didn't tell him was that, at the time, I was pretending to be Captain Scarlet.)

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-07-09 02:32pm

TheFeniX wrote:Ex: Megan (who is 100 lbs, and drop-dead gorgeous) is always whining about how she's fat and needs to loose weight.

Megan: "Am I fat?"
Everyone else: "No no, you look great" and on and on.
Me: "You know Megan? If you think you look fat, then you must be fat."
::watches tears roll::

That's nothing. I'd have said, "Well even if you are, thinking about you at night still gets me hard."

Ex 2: Ted gets drunk and decides to spill Stawberry Daquari (SP, I don't care) all over our carpet. Eveyone else: "Ah, it's ok."
Me: "What the fuck is your problem you idiot. You better clean that up before I beat the stupid right out of you."

Meh. Unoriginal.

Ex 3 (I love this one): Girl I don't know comes over to our apart. Sits down on the balcony, stuffs some weed in her pipe, and starts smoking. My roomate say shit, because she's a stripper and they start thinking with "idiot Jr." when anything with TnA comes around. I walk outside and see this.

Me: ::taps her on shoulder:: "Hey, they finally legalized weed!?"
Her: :: "uh, no."
Me: "Yea, and since it's illegal you have two choices. Put that up, and spend the next day prying my foot out of your ass."

Man, actually reading back on that..... I seriously don't know why I have as many friends as I do.

That's something you say to guy friends. Girls are more fun to be a misogynistic prick to. An arrogant prick is even better.

ME: So why didn't you guys come up to Chicago and hang out with me on Saturday?
THEM: Well we were just there on Friday.
ME: Well yeah, but the important thing is that I wasn't.

Or lines like, "Man, this country's really in the shitter. You'd think that women managed to get the right to vote or something" work well, too.

thecreech · Post by **thecreech** » 2003-07-09 03:12pm

Im an asshole to people i don't like. I make sure that they are aware that I don't like them. I'm also an asshole from time to time but not often

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2003-07-09 03:14pm

Durandal wrote:That's something you say to guy friends. Girls are more fun to be a misogynistic prick to. An arrogant prick is even better.

*tear* That's beautiful. A man after my own heart.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-07-10 02:17pm

hehe - just got banned from kgivler.

I knew comparing them to neonazis was a bad idea.

Enigma · Post by **Enigma** » 2003-07-10 06:57pm

I'm guessing that this group really like Dennis Leary?

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2003-07-10 06:59pm

Enigma wrote:I'm guessing that this group really like Dennis Leary?

Holy shit, did you see Suicide Kings? That was beautiful.

"Put the bottle in the busket, put the rag in the busket, and give it to me."

"I don't drop my fucking gun."

Enigma · Post by **Enigma** » 2003-07-10 07:03pm

Illuminatus Primus wrote:
Enigma wrote:I'm guessing that this group really like Dennis Leary?
Holy shit, did you see Suicide Kings? That was beautiful.

"Put the bottle in the busket, put the rag in the busket, and give it to me."

"I don't drop my fucking gun."

????

I meant this group likes Dennis Leary because of his song, "I'm an Asshole".

Soontir C'boath · Post by **Soontir C'boath** » 2003-07-10 08:21pm

I'm generally a nice guy..on the outside......but I am an asshole at heart...it just sucks holding it down...~Jason

Cal Wright · Post by **Cal Wright** » 2003-07-10 08:26pm

Fuck you Stampede. I'd rather be an asshole than a whole ass. Asshole. Yeah, I'm an asshole. I'm an asshole on reflex biznitches. The hardest damn thing to do is NOT be an asshole to my girlfriend's best friend. It's really hard when she's sort of annoyed by her friend too. OOOooh, you do not know the power of the dark side. Fuckers.

I never miss a chance for this one

To all you mother fuckers on the board

To all you stupid shits out there in the world

To all you Darkstars, your base are belong to us

To Stampede

and to Spanky, because he only made one appearance in this thread

p.s. Maybe he made more than one. Well, better make it two...for good measure.

CrimsonRaine · Post by **CrimsonRaine** » 2003-07-10 08:33pm

I don't know if I'm ever an asshole.

A bitch, however, has been a good 80% of my life.

And why, do you ask?

Because some people really need to be told how much they suck.

*waits for it*

Crimson Raine

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2003-07-11 06:15am

I'm surrounded by assholes!

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-07-11 07:20am

Slartibartfast wrote:I'm surrounded by assholes!

Let's prove it by letting board members throw pies at the dorks handing out Chick tracts.

If they miss, they're assholes.
"I said UP his nose, not ACROSS it!"

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-07-11 07:46am

I'm pretty nice, but that assholeishness can stay hidden forever.

Yuri Prime · Post by **Yuri Prime** » 2003-07-11 10:55am

There's a very fine art to being an asshole. I haven't got it all figured out yet, because I'm usually a nice guy.

People tempt me though. Oh how they tempt me!

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Being an Asshole

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