A blonde was speeding through a 35-mile-per-hour zone when a blonde police officer pulled her over. The officer walked up to the car and asked for her driver's license. The driver searched her purse for a while and finally said, "What does a license look like, officer?" Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver searched her purse some more and finally found a small mirror. She looked at it and thought, "Hey, this must be my driver's license!" and handed it to the blonde officer. She looked at it, handed it back to the driver, and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer, we could have avoided all this hassle!"
Blonde Joke
Moderator: Edi
-
Faram
- Bastard Operator from Hell
- Posts: 5271
- Joined: 2002-07-04 07:39am
- Location: Fighting Polarbears
Blonde Joke
I think we had a blonde thread a while back but here's anew blonde joke:
[img=right]http://hem.bredband.net/b217293/warsaban.gif[/img]
"Either God wants to abolish evil, and cannot; or he can, but does not want to. ... If he wants to, but cannot, he is impotent. If he can, but does not want to, he is wicked. ... If, as they say, God can abolish evil, and God really wants to do it, why is there evil in the world?" -Epicurus
Fear is the mother of all gods.
Nature does all things spontaneously, by herself, without the meddling of the gods. -Lucretius
"Either God wants to abolish evil, and cannot; or he can, but does not want to. ... If he wants to, but cannot, he is impotent. If he can, but does not want to, he is wicked. ... If, as they say, God can abolish evil, and God really wants to do it, why is there evil in the world?" -Epicurus
Fear is the mother of all gods.
Nature does all things spontaneously, by herself, without the meddling of the gods. -Lucretius
-
Gandalf
- SD.net White Wizard
- Posts: 16367
- Joined: 2002-09-16 11:13pm
- Location: A video store in Australia
Heh heh heh.
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
-
Xenophobe3691
- Sith Marauder
- Posts: 4334
- Joined: 2002-07-24 08:55am
- Location: University of Central Florida, Orlando, FL
- Contact:
-
Peregrin Toker
- Emperor's Hand
- Posts: 8609
- Joined: 2002-07-04 10:57am
- Location: Denmark
- Contact:
-
SyntaxVorlon
- Sith Acolyte
- Posts: 5954
- Joined: 2002-12-18 08:45pm
- Location: Places
- Contact:
-
Admiral Valdemar
- Outside Context Problem
- Posts: 31572
- Joined: 2002-07-04 07:17pm
- Location: UK
A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a bar stool.
After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate.
What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she's a pro wrestler."
"Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate.
What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she's a pro wrestler."
"Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
-
Peregrin Toker
- Emperor's Hand
- Posts: 8609
- Joined: 2002-07-04 10:57am
- Location: Denmark
- Contact:
Nah, my hair is medium brown. I do, however, have many friends with blonde hair.SyntaxVorlon wrote:Bet you're a Blond.Simon H.Johansen wrote:I still don't see what in Yog-Sothoth's name is supposed to be funny with these blonde jokes.
Maybe I just don't understand lowbrow humour. Ah, the price of geekdom.
"Hi there, would you like to have a cookie?"
"No, actually I would HATE to have a cookie, you vapid waste of inedible flesh!"
"No, actually I would HATE to have a cookie, you vapid waste of inedible flesh!"
What groaning? Did the police officer and the driver do something afterwards?Vorlon1701 wrote:Oh God, the groaning, the groaning!
This is the price of war,
We rise with noble intentions,
And we risk all that is pure..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, Forever (Rome: Total War)
"On and on, through the years,
The war continues on..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, We Are All One (Medieval 2: Total War)
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon
"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." - Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight
-
HemlockGrey
- Fucking Awesome
- Posts: 13834
- Joined: 2002-07-04 03:21pm
So two men are walking their dogs; one has a Great Dane, the other has a chihuaha. They see a bar and want a drink, but it says 'No Dogs Allowed'.
The guy with the Great Dane pulls out a pair of black sunglasses, puts them in, and walks into the bar. He gets a drink no problem, so the other man puts on a pair of black sunglasses and goes into the bar. The bartender says, "Hey! We don't allow dogs in here."
To which the man replies, "It's a seeing-eye dog!"
"A chihuaha is a seeing-eye dog?"
"...they gave me a chihuaha?"
The guy with the Great Dane pulls out a pair of black sunglasses, puts them in, and walks into the bar. He gets a drink no problem, so the other man puts on a pair of black sunglasses and goes into the bar. The bartender says, "Hey! We don't allow dogs in here."
To which the man replies, "It's a seeing-eye dog!"
"A chihuaha is a seeing-eye dog?"
"...they gave me a chihuaha?"
The End of Suburbia
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses
"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses
"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
-
HemlockGrey
- Fucking Awesome
- Posts: 13834
- Joined: 2002-07-04 03:21pm
Oh, well, it's not a blonde joke. Screw you.
The End of Suburbia
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses
"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses
"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
Do I have to?HemlockGrey wrote:Oh, well, it's not a blonde joke. Screw you.
*sighs*
*advances towards unsuspecting blonde...it'll be consenting, I swear!*
This is the price of war,
We rise with noble intentions,
And we risk all that is pure..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, Forever (Rome: Total War)
"On and on, through the years,
The war continues on..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, We Are All One (Medieval 2: Total War)
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon
"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." - Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight
-
Ghost Rider
- Spirit of Vengeance
- Posts: 27779
- Joined: 2002-09-24 01:48pm
- Location: DC...looking up from the gutters to the stars
