this is just hilarious

Solid Snake · Post by **Solid Snake** » 2003-07-12 06:43pm

http: //objective. jesussave.us /creationsciencefair. html

Using science to prove that they are in fact, morons.

You know the drill. Close the spaces.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-07-12 06:53pm

SolidSnake wrote:Using science to prove that they are in fact, morons.

Maybe they want to prove that God is a scientist.

Solid Snake · Post by **Solid Snake** » 2003-07-12 06:54pm

Montcalm wrote:
SolidSnake wrote:Using science to prove that they are in fact, morons.
Maybe they want to prove that God is a scientist.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-07-12 07:02pm

2nd Place: "Women Were Designed For Homemaking"

Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.

There you have it, ladies, conclusive proof. Now fetch me a coke and a microwave burrito.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-07-12 07:09pm

And now for some misogynistic humor.

Why do women have smaller feet than men do?
So they can stand closer to the sink!

Ba-dum-pum <insert onomatopoeia for cymbal drum here>

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
Because she was a woman!

Okay seriously I'm done.

Sir Sirius · Post by **Sir Sirius** » 2003-07-12 07:14pm

http:// objective.jesussave.us/shutdown.html

They are trying to shut down Landover Babtist Church.

Stupid Fundie wrote:Landover Baptist claims to be a church. Moreover, they claim to be the only church in America that understands the Bible! In fact, neither is true. Landover Baptist is a fraud. A joke. Their true purpose is not to spread the Gospel of our Lord, but to trick people - especially those who have not received the Word and Salvation or have been programmed by secular culture to distrust Christianity - into believing that Christianity is evil and rejecting it.

Funny, I thought that they just try to make you laugh your ass of, but then again I do have a sense of humour, surely that must come from Lucifer himself.

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2003-07-12 07:19pm

Well, it makes sense. I mean, Dudley Moore proved in Crazy People that the Japanese were designed to work on electronic microcomponents, because of their short stature.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-07-12 11:37pm

Again and as always with links as such from now on,

THE STUPID IT BURNS!!!

Cyborg Stan · Post by **Cyborg Stan** » 2003-07-13 12:59am

*Rummages*

I believe the same site has already been discussed some time back.

When Theobiologists Go Bad

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-07-13 01:05am

Landover Baptist claims to be a church. Moreover, they claim to be the only church in America that understands the Bible! In fact, neither is true. Landover Baptist is a fraud. A joke. Their true purpose is not to spread the Gospel of our Lord, but to trick people - especially those who have not received the Word and Salvation or have been programmed by secular culture to distrust Christianity - into believing that Christianity is evil and rejecting it.

I wonder if they had to get a normal person to explain it to them.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-07-13 01:08am

HemlockGrey wrote:
Moronic Fundie Site wrote:Landover Baptist claims to be a church. Moreover, they claim to be the only church in America that understands the Bible! In fact, neither is true. Landover Baptist is a fraud. A joke. Their true purpose is not to spread the Gospel of our Lord, but to trick people - especially those who have not received the Word and Salvation or have been programmed by secular culture to distrust Christianity - into believing that Christianity is evil and rejecting it.
I wonder if they had to get a normal person to explain it to them.

That's the funniest part; they seem to think that it's a clever fraud which needs to be exposed, rather than an obvious parody.

Cyborg Stan · Post by **Cyborg Stan** » 2003-07-13 01:29am

The site itself is a parody site, as I detailed some of it in the thread I linked to. Amoung the things I discussed :

"The Al Anti-Lies Bear" - was originally going to be purple to represent the royal color of Jesus, but after learning that the gay community uses that color to represent themselves, changes Al to a rainbow representing the promise made between God and Noah.

Their 'irreducabily complex mousepad' says that like how the mousepad was designed for a smooth mousepad to roll on, your hand was amazingly designed by God himself to operate a mouse.

One of claimed experts apparently battled Satan himself "up close and personal" on many occasions.

et cetera

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-07-13 01:30am

That stuff is unusually goofy for a fundie website?

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-07-13 01:51am

1st Place: "Using Prayer To Microevolve Latent Antibiotic Resistance In Bacteria"
Eileen Hyde and Lynda Morgan (grades 10 & 11) did a project showing how the power of prayer can unlock the latent genes in bacteria, allowing them to microevolve antibiotic resistance. Escherichia coli bacteria cultured in agar filled petri dishes were subjected to the antibiotics tetracycline and chlorotetracycline. The bacteria cultures were divided into two groups, one group (A) received prayer while the other (B) didn't. The prayer was as follows: "Dear Lord, please allow the bacteria in Group A to unlock the antibiotic-resistant genes that You saw fit to give them at the time of Creation. Amen." The process was repeated for five generations, with the prayer being given at the start of each generation. In the end, Group A was significantly more resistant than Group B to both antibiotics.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And personally I think they look like monkeys to me.

Oh god no...

The Internet was created by the United States of America - a Christian nation [ref. 1, 2, 3] - and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hatespeech. This is our Internet, and we should exercise our position as its owners and as the guardians of civilization to stop its misuse.

They mention Douglas Adams as a 'blackguard of atheism.'

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-07-13 02:06am

ROFLMAO

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-07-13 02:16am

darthdavid wrote:ROFLMAO

Sorry, but OMFG just doesn't cut it in this case.
OH MY FUCKING GAWD!!!!
They even warn the kiddies to report atheists!!!!

where's that damned vomit smiley?

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-07-13 02:23am

Now this is why when i move out of my mom's house and get my own place in a few years it's gonna be well outta the way of these idiots. And i'll have a bean bag shot gun just incase some jehovas witnesses come my way.

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-07-13 08:02am

darthdavid wrote:ROFLMAO

<Homer Simpson>Mmmmmmmmm. Veal.

Kitsune · Post by **Kitsune** » 2003-07-13 09:10am

Sir Sirius wrote:http:// objective.jesussave.us/shutdown.html
They are trying to shut down Landover Babtist Church.

You know, I aways have to laugh at attempts to ban others from speaking out. They cannot figure out that someone might decide that their branch of Christianity is evil and get banned itself.

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2003-07-13 09:15am

Wow, outrageous stupidity can be funny too!

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-07-13 11:12am

From the Fundie Website wrote:If you find an atheist in your neighborhood,
TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY!

You may be moved to try and witness to these poor lost souls yourself, however
AVOID TALKING TO THEM!
Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God's Word.

Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them.

Um, "very advanced witnessing techniques"? Anyone find this a bit ominous? I'm starting to think that this website is a joke.

Same place wrote:Wrong, little buddy - Dinosaurs still walk on the land and swim in the seas! And the Earth is only 10,000 years old! Incredible but TRUE!

Hee hee... dinosaurs aren't extinct, they are just hiding behind furniture! A cookie to who gets the reference.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-07-13 11:16am

Kitsune wrote:You know, I aways have to laugh at attempts to ban others from speaking out. They cannot figure out that someone might decide that their branch of Christianity is evil and get banned itself.

Hah hah hah... silly woman. What do you know? God designed you to fetch me a burrito, not to think. That kids science fair project proved it. Back to the kitchen with you!

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-07-13 12:17pm

Gil Hamilton wrote:
From the Fundie Website wrote:If you find an atheist in your neighborhood,
TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY!

You may be moved to try and witness to these poor lost souls yourself, however
AVOID TALKING TO THEM!
Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God's Word.

Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them.
Um, "very advanced witnessing techniques"? Anyone find this a bit ominous? I'm starting to think that this website is a joke.

Same place wrote:Wrong, little buddy - Dinosaurs still walk on the land and swim in the seas! And the Earth is only 10,000 years old! Incredible but TRUE!
Hee hee... dinosaurs aren't extinct, they are just hiding behind furniture! A cookie to who gets the reference.

dilbert.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-07-13 12:27pm

*hands Talen a cookie*

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-07-13 12:31pm

Damn, beat me to it.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

this is just hilarious

this is just hilarious

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