Unseen Unversity faculty vs hogwarts

Dartzap · Post by **Dartzap** » 2003-07-14 08:49am

the entrty of the faculty of the Unseen University of Discworld fame vs the staff of Hogwarts

the university team is under the command of Archchancller Ridcully and all staff are from the books he is in

hogwarts has anything from the five books

(ps the faculty of UU CAN have Rincewing and his favorite peice of portable wooden thing.....

Dartzap · Post by **Dartzap** » 2003-07-14 08:51am

goddamn it.... no edit button

CJvR · Post by **CJvR** » 2003-07-14 08:59am

Well easy then, teleport Rincewind to the otherside of Hogwarth and get out of the way of the stampede.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-07-14 02:17pm

The staff of Hogwarts inadvertantly destroys itself somehow, while the UU crew stumbles about the hallways.

Jawawithagun · Post by **Jawawithagun** » 2003-07-14 05:01pm

You mean, when the UU faculty breaks from their bloodfeud long enough to take notice of the Hogwarts guys?

they would eat them for breakfast (and there would be no leftovers for lunch)

Hogwarts professors would be flinging magic left and right but UU faculty are perfect at SURVIVING magic and handle their adversaries in a very deadly (though muggle *g*) manner.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-07-14 05:39pm

4 words: HIGH ENERGY MAGIC building.

Plus all the wizards would be all happy to feel like kids again, and the Bursar would probably disrupt Hogwarts somehow...

Eframepilot · Post by **Eframepilot** » 2003-07-14 07:55pm

You gave UU the Luggage. Nothing can possibly stop the Luggage. UU wins.

Without the Luggage (and Rincewind's, er, unpredictable interference) the two sides are fairly equal. UU tend to have more destructive spells like fireballs, but the Hogwarts faculty have much more nasty spells like Avada Kedavra and the Imperius Curse, which will zonk the entire UU faculty except for the Bursar (too insane to control) and Ridcully (who won't even hear the mental commands, much less obey them).

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-07-14 08:36pm

Someone NEEDS to write this fanfic.NOW.

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2003-07-14 08:47pm

I've never read any of this UU stuff. Is it good?

Yes, I know Hogwarts is from Harry Potter. But I don't care about reading that.

Eframepilot · Post by **Eframepilot** » 2003-07-14 08:57pm

Unseen University appears in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. The Discworld is a flat world that rests on the backs of four elephants. So what do the elephants stand on, you ask? A giant turtle. So what does the turtle stand on, you ask? Nothing. It swims! Through space.

Thought you were being clever, didn't you, trying to disprove the world's flatness by postulating a tower of infinite tortoises and reductio ad absurdum, eh?

Anyway, Pratchett has written over twenty Discworld novels. They start out as straight parody of the fantasy genre, but over time have mutated into a unique form of satire and social commentary. The later books are very, very good.

Straha · Post by **Straha** » 2003-07-22 11:30pm

I think I did something like this once. What happens is each side, assuming they have to fight, uses the students as cannon fodder while beating the crap out of each other. Or, alternitevly, the UU goes to Hogwarts for the ability to get as much food as they want and to find another place to hide from students. While the Hogwarts teachers go to Discworld for the library and for the ability to teach all the students, in lack of serious teachers, over there.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-07-23 03:08am

"I think a round of fireballs, gentlemen."

Dartzap · Post by **Dartzap** » 2003-07-23 03:42am

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2003-07-23 04:22pm

Dalton wrote:"I think a round of fireballs, gentlemen."

I pity the first Hogswart that calls the Librarian a monkey.

*hope's it's Malfoy*

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2003-07-23 07:10pm

"You're not getting anywhere picking them off one at a time like that Dean. Remember gentlemen, wild, uncontrolled bursts."

Tasoth · Post by **Tasoth** » 2003-07-24 06:19pm

LadyTevar wrote: I pity the first Hogswart that calls the Librarian a monkey.

OOK OOK!!

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-07-24 06:25pm

LadyTevar wrote: I pity the first Hogswart that calls the Librarian a monkey.

Then the situation would just go totally Bursur.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-07-25 03:54am

The faculty looks to be winning until the battle turns into the Great Hall at Hogwarts. Dumbledore claps his hands, the tables fill with food....

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-07-25 04:09am

LadyTevar wrote:I pity the first Hogswart that calls the Librarian a monkey.

*hope's it's Malfoy*

Actually, that's very likely to happen if Malfoy encountered the Librarian.

Dartzap · Post by **Dartzap** » 2003-07-25 05:03am

even mre silly suggestion, how about Azreal against hogwarts? a person who is capable of destroying the universe agaist some things that might as well be dust.....hmmmmm