Battle of the Outrageous Claims

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2003-07-15 07:48pm

Hi, I'm making this versus thread to see who can come up with the most ourageous claims for either series. We all know about illogic arguments like "laser immunity" or that "trek is more advanced because the corridors are always clean", but how about we try really really hard to make new and improved outrageous claims?

Both pro-Trek AND pro-Wars.

Ok, let me try one for Wars:

Hm... ah...

Lesse, well Star Wars firepower is much higher, because we all see how a tiny torpedo can blow up a huge moon-sized station!

Admiral Johnason · Post by **Admiral Johnason** » 2003-07-15 08:23pm

ST:

The Enterprise can blow up the Death Star because Kirk is the greatest captain ever

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2003-07-15 09:06pm

Wesley could reprogram the transporters and make the Enterprise's phasers 9999999999 times stronger. In three seconds. With his eyes closed. After his hands were chopped off.

Mutant Headcrab · Post by **Mutant Headcrab** » 2003-07-15 11:05pm

Data can take on multiple Jedi cause his reaction times are way better than any human!

Got double post

FettKyle · Post by **FettKyle** » 2003-07-15 11:20pm

Star Wars Wins because every time Star Trek Trusts it's equipment by not wearing spacesuits or having a back up plan they all Die. And it's better because of the word Turbo

Equinox2003 · Post by **Equinox2003** » 2003-07-15 11:21pm

Ok, Enjoy:

The technology in SW is so superior to Trek, that one SW weapon can
wipe out the entire Federation. Just one Ewok spear.
At the celebration of the destruction of the DS2, Wicket throws his
spear in the air. Just then a wormhole leading to Fed space opens up
a mere 2 feet from the surface of Endor. The spear is pulled into the
wormhole and travels to Fed space.
It is thrown out of the wormhole and into the path of a GCS. Sensors
read that the weapon can penetrate all shielding and it is too late to
move. The spear blasts through main engineering and causes a
warp core breach. The force of the exploding ship does not destroy
the spear because, like everything else, wood is stronger in the SW
universe then it is in the Trek universe. The blast from the exploding
GCS starts a "pinball effect" in which the spear bounces around Fed
space like a pinball in a pinball machine destorying all ships and planets.

FettKyle · Post by **FettKyle** » 2003-07-15 11:33pm

Eframepilot · Post by **Eframepilot** » 2003-07-16 12:58am

One hand phaser = Death Star.

"Proof": The Galaxy Gun blew up planets by causing nucleonic chain reactions in their matter. Phasers work the exact same way (nuclear disruption force) but most nonorganic matter in Trek isn't as susceptible. But since whole planets in Wars can be destroyed by these chain reactions, phasers will be planet-killers.

And on the other side:

Force Users >= Q.

"Proof": The Death Star is the greatest power in the universe. But it is nothing compared to the power of the Force. The only reason Jedi aren't juggling planets and snuffing out stars is because the Sith cancel out their powers almost completely. Balance, get it? The Light and Dark balance, so there's only a little left over. So if all the Sith or all the Jedi ever died, the others would be as powerful (or more!) than Q.

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2003-07-16 01:54am

Those are some great arguments

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-07-16 02:01am

Picard can use his mirror-like noggin to reflect those silly "turbolasers" back at Imperial ships. Hell, even the Death Star is no match for 24th Century baldness.

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-07-16 03:02am

Star Trek ground forces are better because they are red, you can't see the blood when they get hurt. When stormtroopers get holes blown in them, it's really obvious

Oh, and LMFAO DGG

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-07-16 03:18am

Startrek wins because Weasley is far less annoying the Jar-Jar, or Annie (Ep-1 version)

TurboPhaser · Post by **TurboPhaser** » 2003-07-16 05:16am

Star Wars ships are superior because they are big!

Star Trek ships are superior because they are good looking!

You can tell the Empire is bad because they have green lasers. All baddies have green weapons!

KhyronTheBackstabber · Post by **KhyronTheBackstabber** » 2003-07-16 06:07am

All Geordie would have to do is inverse the transphasic flux coolio field, and send 27.869 galvajouls of plasmetro energy though the kimble coil, causing the quantum mesh torque sphere around the ISD to implode, and explode, opening a rift in the space, time dobber flow, ripping the ISD apart at the sub tacular level, and leaving the sector smelling lemony fresh.

Kurgan · Post by **Kurgan** » 2003-07-16 07:58am

- The Enterprise would simply transport a huge bomb into the engine room of a Star Destroyer.

- Federation ships can simply transport the entire crew of a Star Destroyer into space.

- Star Wars ships don't have shields.

- Star Wars ships can only go at the speed of light.

- Star Wars ships don't have computer targetting, it's all manual.

- WEG estimates for ship sizes, empire's territory

- The Star Wars Galaxy is actually tiny in scale compared to our's. This explains why they SEEM to go faster than Trek ships, but really they are slow and weak. (this is a real claim!!)

- Species 8472

And on the Wars side:

- Vader would choke the entire Federation Fleet with his mind.

- The Emperor would use battle meditation so his fleet would never lose.

- The Death Star would use its superlaser on every ship (believe it or not, this claim appeared in "Star Wars Infinities: A New Hope").

- the Yuvang Vong

Bah, I started making this list and then I realized it was impossible.. there's just too many outrageous claims. These aren't as funny, so I'll stop...

Rightous Fist Of Heaven · Post by **Rightous Fist Of Heaven** » 2003-07-16 08:22am

Star Trek wins because their ships are immune to lazors

Mad · Post by **Mad** » 2003-07-16 09:16am

The Death Star has a firepower greater than half the Alliance starfleet (ref: Star Wars Trilogy Arcade). Since the canon Alliance starfleet was 30 starfighters in ANH, that gives an X-wing about 2E31 W of firepower. A few volleys could take out a planet, no problem.

And I don't want to hear that crap about the Federation being immune to lasers. Turbolasers are green. The Rebels fire red shots, which are blasters. That means the Federation is immune to most Imperial ships, but some shuttles used by the Empire use red blasters (X-Wing PC game), so all the Empire has to do is send shuttles after the Federation. And a group of TIEs can still take out an unshielded planet (or a stray LTL shot from an ISD could do it), so I fail to see any problem.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-07-16 11:36am

You don't see huge plumes of ejecta and fireballs in TDiC because the shots were going all the way through the planet and blowing out the other side.

I've actually seen this one used before.

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2003-07-16 12:07pm

A single tie fighter will fire at a Federation fleet and the blast were blow through every ship until the fleet is gone.

Lord Poe · Post by **Lord Poe** » 2003-07-16 03:09pm

A single, free-floating heavy turbolaser battery with a droid brain and a planetary strength shield decimates any Trek ship that comes into the system.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2003-07-16 03:10pm

Anything said by Darkstar vs anything said by Veritas Knight.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2003-07-16 03:16pm

GK's fanfic.

Admiral Johnason · Post by **Admiral Johnason** » 2003-07-16 04:05pm

A Titan walker could crush the entire US Army.

four Imperial SDs could crush all of the borg in one battle because the Borg have to touch you to assimilate you and that is how the beat an enemy. Just don't let them touch you and you win.

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2003-07-16 04:22pm

What the fuck is a Titan walker?

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2003-07-16 04:29pm

C&C Tiberian Sun.