Just a feeling, I might be wrong.Star Crossed Fanfic
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Dark Primus
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I had such a problem posting 53 in this thread that I decided to hold off on posting in the cleaned thread until some of the board errors clear up because I don't really want to break up the chapter in the cleaned up thread unless I positively have to.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Ripped Shirt Monkey - BOTMWriter's Guild Cybertron's Finest Justice League
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Mitth`raw`nuruodo
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This was good, very good. I liked seeing the Captain again, and OMG IT'S T3H 1uK3!! Funny how Mara and Luke get together both in this alternate story and in the EU.. It seems they are destined to be together 
<< SEGNOR: Grand Admiral of the Gnomish Hordes >< GALE: Equal Opportunity Lover >< SDNet Keeper of the Lore >< Great Dolphin Conspiracy >>
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Cult of Vin Diesel - When you mix Vin Diesel with a strong acid you get salt water.
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Cult of Vin Diesel - When you mix Vin Diesel with a strong acid you get salt water.
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Mitth`raw`nuruodo
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*bumpedy bump bump*
I'm reading Stravo, see?
I wonder what's next... I have ideas, but I'm not the one writing the story
I'm reading Stravo, see?
I wonder what's next... I have ideas, but I'm not the one writing the story
<< SEGNOR: Grand Admiral of the Gnomish Hordes >< GALE: Equal Opportunity Lover >< SDNet Keeper of the Lore >< Great Dolphin Conspiracy >>
My Audioscrobbler
Cult of Vin Diesel - When you mix Vin Diesel with a strong acid you get salt water.
My Audioscrobbler
Cult of Vin Diesel - When you mix Vin Diesel with a strong acid you get salt water.
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Natorgator
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Darth Yoshi
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Haha!
What you could do is separate the chapter into acts and post them separately. Regardless, great chapter.
What you could do is separate the chapter into acts and post them separately. Regardless, great chapter.
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Soontir C'boath
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Great chapter as always Stravo. 
~JASon
~JASonI have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season."
Chapter 54: Ruminations
“There, you poor dear, now you look so much better.” she paused and admired her handiwork. “Yes, you look more like the dashing young Captain I always imagined.”
“Thank you.” he replied softly.
The door to the quarters snapped open and a figure stepped in.
“Did you bring the uniforms like I asked for? I swear these stormtroopers have no sense of taste or style. Who wears white in space, I mean honestly.” she clucked and turned around.
“Well?”
She stopped short.
“Grand Admiral, I’m so sorry but as you can imagine it has been one thing after the other.”
Kittaine opened his mouth to speak.
“And how could you let your men treat him in this manner? He was absolutely filthy and his wounds…the med techs spent two hours patching him back up.” Luxwanna strode up to Kittaine as she spoke. “You should have seen the bruises and why is he still blind? What did you do to him?”
“Woman will you be silent for just one moment!” Kittaine barked.
Lwaxanna paused and smiled slyly.
“Do you realize that when you get angry you’re temples flare up and your nose crinkles in a very cute manner, much like a Laprosian foxhound I once owned.”
Kittaine sighed in exasperation and stormed past her to look Ochoa over.
“By the Emperor.” Kittaine breathed. Ochoa looked up slowly, following the sounds. The Starship Captain who once had a tangled beard and unkempt wild hair was now cleanly shaven and had lost the mane of hair. He looked ten years younger.
“That good huh?” Ochoa replied.
“It is a miraculous sight to behold.”
“I wouldn’t know.” Ochoa replied sardonically.
Kittaine frowned. Lwaxanna quickly glided over and put a comforting hand on Kittaine’s shoulder, “Don’t mind him, Gideon, he’s been joking about his condition all morning.”
Kittaine whipped his head around.
“GIDEON?” he and Ochoa simultaneously exclaimed.
Lwaxanna looked puzzled.
“Troi, how dare you use my first name! I am Grand Admiral Kittaine.” Kittaine thundered.
“Oh pish posh, since when have I asked you to call me Troi, or worst of all counselor Troi, Security liaison Troi, ugh, even worse. You call me Lwaxanna.”
“This is different.” Kittaine sputtered.
“Indeed.” Ochoa noted with a secretive smile.
“Enough. You will show me the proper respect.”
Lwaxanna smirked and started combing Ochoa’s hair.
“He does get so emotional sometimes, I’ve noticed that human males have a tendency to beat their chests in such macho shows of strength.” Lwaxanna bent in closer to Ochoa’s ear “But I have to admit that I like it.”
Ochoa chuckled. He liked her, she brought light into his usually dark day. It was like a reminder that sometimes life can still be bright and gay.
“Why thank you dear.” Lwaxanna said as soon as he finished his thought.
“Well, that was naughty of you.” Ochoa replied.
Kittaine fumed as he watched her gently comb his hair into a more manageable and neater style. The change was quite stunning. He was also impressed with how gently she handled him, for a woman that seemed so carefree she showed an attentiveness to the blind young captain that seemed almost maternal.
“You’re so sweet, Gideon, thank you. It comes with raising children you know.”
Kittaine’s eyes widened.
“I would appreciate it if you stayed out of my mind. He may find it humorous but I certainly do not.”
“You miss Nemesis, huh? He’s funny that way you know. He inspires such fear and dread in his men but there’s also a devotion as well. His presence is missed.” Ochoa noted casually staring in Kittaine’s general direction.
“Miss is a rather strong word, it connotes an emotional attachment that I do not have with him. I am simply being outmaneuvered because Thrawn has a Sith lord and I do not.”
Ochoa nodded.
“You admire him.”
“Of course I do.” Kittaine began uncomfortably. “But that does not translate to having feelings for Lord Nemesis.”
“I used to hate him, fear him, I wished him dead for a long time. But when I got to know him, see the inner workings of his mind and heart I came to admire him and finally care for him.”
“Yes?” Kittaine asked impatiently. Lwaxanna smirked but remained focused on Ochoa’s hair.
“You don’t have any children.”
“Are you sure you’re not a mind reader like this harpy? And don’t give me any nonsense about being observant, I have never mentioned children.”
“True enough and that in itself is usually a sign but this lovely lady likes to talk when I’m in the bath and that detail was relayed to me.”
Kittaine scowled at Lwaxanna who shrugged and smiled. Kittaine paused for a moment.
“You bathed him?”
“Well of COURSE I bathed him. He was filthy.”
Kittaine looked from Lwaxanna to Ochoa. Lwaxanna suddenly chuckled.
“Oh, you mean THAT. Well I am a decent woman Gideon and we wouldn’t want anything embarrassing to happen so I had Mr. Hom do it.”
“Mr. Hom?”
An enormous figure stepped out of the bathroom area carrying a filthy Starfleet uniform holding it out at a distance with a vaguely distasteful expression on his face. He wore a simple brown tunic and was far taller than anyone Kittaine had seen, taller even than Vader.
Kittaine took a cautious step back, his hand wandered down to his blaster pistol but Hom merely bowed slightly in his direction and turned his attention to Lwaxanna.
“No, Mr. Hom. there will be no need to keep those, find an incinerator and get rid of that immediately.” Lwaxanna ordered as she wrinkled her nose in disgust. Kittaine watched Hom warily as he strode past him out of the quarters.
“What is that?”
“My manservant, Mr. Hom. He’s been with the family for a long time.”
Kittaine shook his head ruefully.
“You never cease to amaze me.” he muttered.
Ochoa smiled softly and cleared his throat.
“You don’t have children yet Nemesis fits the bill doesn’t he?”
Kittaine blinked.
“What are you implying?”
“Lord Nemesis is everything you wanted in a son. Dashing, handsome, intelligent powerful.”
“I hardly think that I would want that cruel tyrant as a child.” Kittaine replied dryly.
Ochoa cocked his head slightly. “Except of course you don’t really think that he’s a cruel tyrant.”
Lwaxanna paused in her hair combing.
“Are you sure you’re not at least partially Betazoid? Maybe some Vulcan in you from the past?”
Ochoa smiled mysteriously.
“No, I’m sure. I just know what to look for now. Admiral, frankly I’m exhausted and I could use some time to myself and actually sleep on a mattress.”
Kittaine stared for a moment.
“Huh? Oh, of course, Captain. By all means. We shall discuss these matters tomorrow.”
“Admiral, there’s one thing you should be aware of. Things are coming to a head very soon. Nemesis left here looking for validation and he will not receive it, at least not in the form that he is looking for. There will come a moment of truth.”
Kittaine remained staring at the young Captain, his eyes vaguely looking in his direction.
“We will need to decided whether we will stand by him or betray him and save ourselves. I know where I stand, the question will soon come, where do you and your fleet stand.”
Kittaine cleared his throat after a moment of silence.
“I will leave you to your preparations for bed, Captain.”
“Admiral. I think that having dinner with Lwaxanna would be a fabulous idea.”
Kittaine opened his mouth to speak.
“Besides, I think you must be tired of eating alone and I can vouch for her ability to keep you engaged and entertained.” Ochoa added.
“Nonsense.” Lwaxanna protested and fixed Ochoa’s collar as she simultaneously smoothed out a wrinkle on his shirt. “Mr. Hom will prepare us a wonderful dinner. You need food to keep your strength up.”
“It really is for the best.” Kittaine added.
“I’m tired Lwaxanna, and surely Admiral you are a gentlemen as well as an officer unless our galaxies our so far apart in culture. You would not let a beautiful woman like Lwaxanna eat by herself.”
“You’re blind, Ochoa. You have no idea what you’re talking about when it comes to her beauty.” Kittaine replied sardonically. Lwaxanna started to protest bitterly.
“I don’t need to see her to know that she is a gem among women, Admiral. I envy you that you can see her. But suit yourself, your quarters call you.” Ochoa replied dismissively.
“Oh, very well. Lwax----Security liaison Troi, will you please accompany me to dinner?”
“I don’t know…” she started. Ochoa surreptitiously stomped on her foot. “BUT since you asked me so politely Admiral how could I refuse.” she finished squelching her exclamation of pain with the words.
“Very well.” Kittaine nodded. He started to turn away and paused, head turning back to regard the young Captain sitting with a preternatural calm as Lwaxanna finished combing his hair. There was a peaceful aura to him, as if he knew precisely what was going to happen and had made peace with himself and the universe. There was an odd jab of jealousy in his heart.
“When this moment of truth comes, how will you choose?” he asked quietly.
Ochoa looked in Kittaine’s general direction and smiled.
“I will follow my heart Grand Admiral and not my head. My head led me here, now my heart will lead me out.” he replied.
Lwaxanna peered down at Ochoa and frowned.
“I hate to leave you alone.”
“I am not alone dear lady, but if you wish leave me a token of your kindness, perhaps a rig to remember you by until you return.”
Lwaxanna blushed and put a hand to her chest.
“You are a charmer, Captain Ochoa. Are you sure you’re married?”
“Indeed I am.” Ochoa replied, the first hint of sadness in his voice creeping in. Kittaine made a decision right then and there that he would do something about that.
“Here,” she slipped a ring off her finger and slipped it into the hollow of his left hand. “And I do you one better.” she kissed his cheek.
“Many thanks.” Ochoa replied with a warm smile.
“Dinner, Grand Admiral? I can hear the lady’s stomach grumbling from here.”
“Yes, yes, come along Lwa---Troi, dinner is served at precisely 1830 and it is almost that time.”
“Very well, Grand Admiral. I’m all yours.” Lwaxanna replied lustily.
Kittaine shook his head and started to walk out.
Lwaxanna cleared her throat. Kittaine turned slowly and looked over at her. She stood calmly extending a hand delicately.
“Are you mad?” Kittaine asked frostily.
“Officers and gentlemen, sir.” Ochoa added playfully.
Kittaine rolled his eyes.
“Come.” he said in a defeated tone and accepted her arm. They walked out together, Mr. Hom calmly trailing behind them. Lwaxanna spared a glance back as the doors slid shut and saw Ochoa wink.
Ochoa waited silently in his chair, he knew where the bed was, where the bathroom was but he was waiting for something else. He absently rolled the ring Lwaxanna gave him around the palm of his hand, feeling the cool gold on his flesh.
A sound like a flare being lit hissed through the room and a cold blue light danced on Ochoa’s face. He smiled warmly.
“I was wondering when you were going to show up. Like the new digs?”
“Impressive. I hope you know what you are doing concerning your choice. That boy is our last hope.”
“This entire war, Ben, has always been about Hope.” Ochoa replied.
Another blue light hissed into being to Ochoa’s right.
“Hasty we must not be. There is another. He is being tested, as I once tested Skywalker.”
“I see we have a full house tonight. I am honored.” Ochoa added.
“Princess, you have no need to ask me or even convince me.” Captain Entebbe said with a grin as he adjusted his uniform before rising from his seat behind a desk. Entebbe had been assigned by Kirk as head of R&D for weapons and technological development. He had been busy of late in Avalon tearing apart what small bits of Imperial technology they could acquire and working along side Alliance engineers to integrate Federation and Alliance technology. They were currently focusing all of their energies on constructing a fully functioning hypermatter reactor.
Entebbe never looked happier and it pleased Leia to see him in such a state. She regretted having to ask him what she needed him to do, but there was no one else to turn to at this point.
“Captain, thank you. I don’t know how anyone would take me saying that I knew where Captain Kirk was. It seems that many in the command structure are subtly turning away from him.”
“Never, princess. Captain Kirk will always be our commander, that strutting prima Donna Jellico could never take his place. The problem with some of the higher ups is that they never believed in this war to begin with.”
“I understand, but I just don’t know who I can trust at this point and frankly what I am going to ask goes against the direct orders of your commander, Jellico.”
Entebbe’s brow furrowed slightly as he sat at the edge of his desk. The older man smiled softly, gray shooting through the hair at his temples, his sharp blue eyes focused on her.
“Go on.”
“I need your ship.”
“Oh?”
“The Reckless Hope has dedicated itself to the defense of Avalon and by extension the Federation. I cannot take her on this mission. If I do that I would be destroying our alliance and any hope of victory against the Empire.”
Entebbe nodded slowly and rubbed his chin.
“Whereas, if you simply commandeer a single science vessel it will just be my crew, you and I that face punishment while still preserving the alliance.” he noted.
Leia nodded slowly.
Entebbe sighed softly as he looked out the window of his office. The shipyards beyond dominated most of the view. There was a frantic scramble as starships were being refitted and repaired for the defense of Andor. The Empire would be making its big push soon and they needed to be ready. Many of the ships still proudly displayed blue lettering on their hulls.
THE FEDERATION LIVES
A few months ago, as the Imperial war machine marched inexorably towards Earth no one believed those words. One man was responsible for the hope that had ignited the passions of the Federation remnant.
And now he needed his help.
“You realize of course, princess, what you are asking.”
“Indeed I do, Captain.” Leia replied grimly.
“You’re asking me to risk my ship on a mission that directly contradicts an order from my superior officer, you are asking me to risk my career and the career of my crew to save a single man.”
“Yes.” Leia replied without hesitation. Entebbe nodded.
“Princess, that man saved my life, the lives of my crew and my ship when the Empire came calling. He alone had the courage to stand up when the rest of us, including me were ready to surrender.”
Leia remained still, looking into the older man’s eyes.
“There is no way in hell I’m going to leave him to his fate. Our careers for the life of James Kirk?” Entebbe paused long enough to make an expression of measuring his alternatives and nodded as he continued, “I’ll take those chances any day of the week. The Sagan will be ready in three hours.” he finished with an emphatic nod.
“Thank you Captain.” Leia beamed.
“Where are we going?”
Leia pulled a datapad out from her pocket and flipped it on to show to Entebbe.
“I drew this in a trance.”
Entebbe’s eyebrows raised slightly.
“I checked the system I drew here against the stellar charts in your databases, extrapolating the general direction Captain Kirk traveled to and four systems popped up as possible from the sketch. I checked each on and Scythia is the one that felt right.”
“Felt right?” Entebbe replied reluctantly.
“I can’t explain it Captain.” Leia said with a shake of her head. “It’s just that as soon as Scythia popped up on the display I felt this undeniable urge to go there. I could almost hear his voice calling for help. I’m sorry of this all sounds strange to you Captain, but you have to believe me. Ever since my battle in the Excalibur against Wesley Crusher I feel different somehow, as if a part of me has awakened from a long sleep.”
Entebbe looked into the young woman’s tired eyes. He could tell that she was wise beyond her years, she had seen so much.
Entebbe chuckled softly.
“Princess, weird is having your home and government invaded and conquered by alien beings from another galaxy wielding technology millennia ahead of yours whose humanity is a direct affront to everything we know of evolution and parallel development.” Entebbe replied. “Let’s assume your correct and it s Scythia, we’re looking at a near week long journey at maximum warp for my ship. A warship could make that in a few days.”
“I don’t have a warship, I have you.”
“Understood, but consider this, we may need one when we get there, because of there’s one thing Captain Kirk is, he is one hell of a weirdness magnet.” Entebbe remarked with a smirk.
“Will you help?”
“Three hours, your highness. I will beam you right out of your quarters.”
“I’ll be ready.”
The steady slow beep of the life support equipment was a sorrowful accompaniment to his thoughts as he watched her. She lay so very still in the bed, eyes closed and her chest barely moving in time with her slow shallow breaths. He sat quietly on one side of her bed watching he, hands closed around a datapad. Reports were slowly scrolling down on the datapad’s screen but he ignored them.
His eyes were on her and there was nothing else in his world.
He had thought her dead, he barely had time to mourn her passing when they brought her in here, miraculously alive but suffering from horrible wounds inflicted on her by a young man that had suddenly exhibited the powers of a god.
“Commander Antilles.”
Wedge turned slowly in his chair as the medical droid rolled quietly along the floor to him and paused to look at Kelly Antilles’ chart.
“There has been some improvement in her condition since yesterday, sir.”
“Really?” Wedge straightened up in the chair. The medical droid noted the sudden increase in heart rate and respiration and recognized that Wedge had over reacted to the news, He switched his tone slightly to not seem as upbeat so as not to get Wedge’s hopes up.
“She is starting to respond to some aural stimulation and brain wave activity indicates an increase in higher cognitive functions indicating that she may be starting to come out of her coma. This is an improvement from her condition yesterday when she did not respond at all to aural stimuli and her brain waves remained suppressed. Despite the surgery and Bacta treatments, the head injuries were quite severe, coupled with strange degenerative damage caused by what Princess Leia called force lightning have made recovery very difficult. Frankly she needed a dedicated hospital facility which we unfortunately have under construction at the moment.”
“I understand, but she IS getting better?”
“Yes sir.”
Wedge breathed a soft sigh of relief.
“I will be around again to check on her soon.” the droid stated and rolled away.
Wedge put his hand on the guard rail by her bed and gripped it tightly.
“You hang in there, sis.” Wedge urged.
Suddenly Kelly’s hand closed around his like a vise. Wedge’s eyes widened.
“Help her.” she whispered fervently.
“Kelly?!”
“Help…her.” she repeated more forcefully, eyes closed shut but her hand was around his tightly.
“Help who, Kelly?” Wedge asked sharply, the sound of the life-support systems grew louder as the steady beep of her heartbeat increased significantly.
“Help..her…she must save him.”
“Kelly?”
Just as quickly as it happened Kelly’s hand slipped limply away and fell back into the bed and the harsh beeps of the life support equipment died down. Wedge rubbed his hand as he stared at his sister sleeping as calmly as she had been since in this ward.
“Quite frankly Data. I’m ashamed.” Riker snapped angrily as he threw down the datapad Data had handed him moments before.
“Sir?” Data asked quizzically.
“You know what they’re saying about me?”
“Are you referring to the rumors that you were responsible for the failure at Romulus?” Data asked innocently.
“Yeah, that would be it.” Riker replied darkly.
“I see no basis for this line of reasoning. the Excalibur performed as expected against the Imperials and up until we destroyed Remus we were performing well within mission parameters.”
“Up until we tried to carve up and devour Romulus while Wesley tried to kill everyone in engineering.”
“Geordie is almost fully recovered from his injuries and is currently overseeing the repair work on the Excalibur.”
Riker shook his head.
“Not that it matters at this point.” Riker noted Data’s confused expression. He turned the small computer terminal on his desk around so that data could see the screen. Data scanned it quickly.
“I do not understand. It has been firmly established that the only vessel in our fleet that can stand up to an Imperial stardestroyer is the Excalibur.”
“The Excalibur has been reassigned to defensive duty. We’re assigned to protect Avalon at all costs and we won’t even be taking part in Operation Rampart in the Andor system.”
“Perhaps if you spoke with Captain Jellico.”
“Data, he made it very clear to me that he does not trust me or the ship. He’s permanently assigned me to the Excalibur and thus assigned me to stand guard here in Avalon until this war is over.”
“This is illogical.”
“No, it’s the result of a carefully orchestrated campaign to discredit everything that James Kirk built with this fleet. The Excalibur is going to be used as a whipping boy to show everyone what a failure Kirk was in the long run.”
“What are we going to do?” Data asked.
Riker smiled softly as Data included himself in the dilemma. Data tried so hard to be human but sometimes it was the moments like these, when he simply acted naturally that his humanity shown through.
“For now, there is nothing we can do, he is my superior officer, but I will tell you this, when I get a chance to redeem ourselves I’m taking it without hesitation.” Riker replied and sighed heavily as he sat back in his chair.
What have I done? Nemesis wondered horrified as he stirred slightly and glanced around quickly. Mara was in a very light sleep, her shallow breaths coming soft and slow as she lay nestled in his left arm, one hand draped across his belly. Her skin was warm and soft and something stirred in him again.
He glanced down at her and stared at her face, taking in her beauty, following the graceful sweep of her neck, her solid jaw line, her soft luxurious hair. She was so beautiful.
This cannot be.
“Young Skywalker, I look forward to completing your training.”
He shook his head, fighting the unbidden memory.
The cold darkness embraced him and he knelt naked but confident in the circle. Behind him was his father, proud and tall, the slow mechanical breathing breaking the icy cold silence that closed around him like a fist as he bowed his head to the man he called Master. The one that had shown him the depths of the betrayal.
“You have passed the trials, your anger fuels your might like a furnace. Rage is your sword, shadow your shield. None can touch you now as you leave behind all remnants of what you were. Step out of the light and into the darkness my young apprentice. Embrace the Sith Name bestowed upon you and embrace the darkness that is at the heart of our power, ever shall it comfort and fuel you, quick to join you in battle and victory shall be brought to you on its knees for you to seize for you are the master and not the slave of the light. Rise Darth Nemesis and leave the name of Skywalker behind you as you leave the weak mewling of the treacherous light.”
He rose and stood proudly before Palpatine.
The ancient Sith lord stared at him with those malevolent yellow eyes illuminating parchment like skin. He smiled victoriously as Vader slipped the robes of a Sith lord over Nemesis’ shoulders. He drew a small measure of comfort from the touch of his father’s cold metal gauntlets.
“You like your father are now…MINE.”
Nemesis sat up quickly, nearly waking Mara, but a quick exertion of the force slipped her into deeper sleep.
“I am not Luke Skywalker.” he whispered. “That name has no meaning to me.”
“How you feelin’ kid?”
Nemesis’ head jerked up quickly and he saw him standing, more like lounging against the entrance of the cave.
“Han?”
Solo smiled and nodded.
“Quick on the uptake today, have to hand it to ya kid, you have taste in women. First Leia now her.” Han indicated Mara with a lecherous smile.
Nemesis rose up quickly while simultaneously draping the Sith robe over her exposed body.
“Hey hold on a sec, we’re friends and all but do I really have to see all that?” Han asked indicating Nemesis’ naked hard chiseled body.
“You can’t complain because you’re not here.”
“Aw, c’mon kid, do we really have to go over this again.”
“I refuse to believe in you. You’re thousands of years away from here. You’re probably dead or a relic in someone’s collection right now.”
Han frowned.
“Listen you little dark Sith lord if I’m there its because you abandoned me out there!” Han snapped.
Nemesis shook his head.
“Shut up.”
“I wonder what would have happened if I left you in that Trench by yourself? I tell you one thing for sure, Big daddy would have reduced you to free floating atoms. Very parental of him.”
“He didn’t know.”
“And maybe if I listened to everyone back at Echo base you would have been the Jedi Popsicle back on Hoth.”
“You want my gratitude is that it?” Nemesis sneered.
“I don’t want ANYTHING from you. I want to talk to Luke.”
“He’s gone.” Nemesis hissed.
Han crossed his arms and smirked.
“Suit yourself. But remember kid, you’re choices have consequences. You are walking your father’s road and it ain’t looking pretty from where I’m standing. There ain’t no all powerful energy field controlling my destiny and you know what? There isn’t one controlling yours either.”
Nemesis paused.
Han smiled sardonically.
“That’s right, I may not be a Jedi Master but even I can see it’s all about choices kid. I chose to fly back to the Deathstar and save you when I could have paid off my debts and lived a fairly decent…well…somewhat decent life. I made that choice not some power field. The Force didn’t save you on Hoth either kid, last time I checked yours truly made a choice to go out there and save you. Just like you choose to walk off the gantry into the arms of a man that tried to murder you once, maimed you for life and killed the only people you could call family back on Tatooine. But what the hell, Luke Skywalker isn’t around to think about those choices anymore….is he?”
Nemesis stared at Han for a long moment. He opened his mouth to speak but the apparition was gone like snow on the wind.
His jaw tightened.
“I’ll never join you!” he shouted into the tempest whipping around him.
“Liar.” he whispered.
Mara awoke with a start and immediately reached out and felt nothing beside her. She glanced around quickly and saw that Nemesis’ lightsaber, utility belt and clothes were gone. Only the cloak was wrapped around her gently.
“There, you poor dear, now you look so much better.” she paused and admired her handiwork. “Yes, you look more like the dashing young Captain I always imagined.”
“Thank you.” he replied softly.
The door to the quarters snapped open and a figure stepped in.
“Did you bring the uniforms like I asked for? I swear these stormtroopers have no sense of taste or style. Who wears white in space, I mean honestly.” she clucked and turned around.
“Well?”
She stopped short.
“Grand Admiral, I’m so sorry but as you can imagine it has been one thing after the other.”
Kittaine opened his mouth to speak.
“And how could you let your men treat him in this manner? He was absolutely filthy and his wounds…the med techs spent two hours patching him back up.” Luxwanna strode up to Kittaine as she spoke. “You should have seen the bruises and why is he still blind? What did you do to him?”
“Woman will you be silent for just one moment!” Kittaine barked.
Lwaxanna paused and smiled slyly.
“Do you realize that when you get angry you’re temples flare up and your nose crinkles in a very cute manner, much like a Laprosian foxhound I once owned.”
Kittaine sighed in exasperation and stormed past her to look Ochoa over.
“By the Emperor.” Kittaine breathed. Ochoa looked up slowly, following the sounds. The Starship Captain who once had a tangled beard and unkempt wild hair was now cleanly shaven and had lost the mane of hair. He looked ten years younger.
“That good huh?” Ochoa replied.
“It is a miraculous sight to behold.”
“I wouldn’t know.” Ochoa replied sardonically.
Kittaine frowned. Lwaxanna quickly glided over and put a comforting hand on Kittaine’s shoulder, “Don’t mind him, Gideon, he’s been joking about his condition all morning.”
Kittaine whipped his head around.
“GIDEON?” he and Ochoa simultaneously exclaimed.
Lwaxanna looked puzzled.
“Troi, how dare you use my first name! I am Grand Admiral Kittaine.” Kittaine thundered.
“Oh pish posh, since when have I asked you to call me Troi, or worst of all counselor Troi, Security liaison Troi, ugh, even worse. You call me Lwaxanna.”
“This is different.” Kittaine sputtered.
“Indeed.” Ochoa noted with a secretive smile.
“Enough. You will show me the proper respect.”
Lwaxanna smirked and started combing Ochoa’s hair.
“He does get so emotional sometimes, I’ve noticed that human males have a tendency to beat their chests in such macho shows of strength.” Lwaxanna bent in closer to Ochoa’s ear “But I have to admit that I like it.”
Ochoa chuckled. He liked her, she brought light into his usually dark day. It was like a reminder that sometimes life can still be bright and gay.
“Why thank you dear.” Lwaxanna said as soon as he finished his thought.
“Well, that was naughty of you.” Ochoa replied.
Kittaine fumed as he watched her gently comb his hair into a more manageable and neater style. The change was quite stunning. He was also impressed with how gently she handled him, for a woman that seemed so carefree she showed an attentiveness to the blind young captain that seemed almost maternal.
“You’re so sweet, Gideon, thank you. It comes with raising children you know.”
Kittaine’s eyes widened.
“I would appreciate it if you stayed out of my mind. He may find it humorous but I certainly do not.”
“You miss Nemesis, huh? He’s funny that way you know. He inspires such fear and dread in his men but there’s also a devotion as well. His presence is missed.” Ochoa noted casually staring in Kittaine’s general direction.
“Miss is a rather strong word, it connotes an emotional attachment that I do not have with him. I am simply being outmaneuvered because Thrawn has a Sith lord and I do not.”
Ochoa nodded.
“You admire him.”
“Of course I do.” Kittaine began uncomfortably. “But that does not translate to having feelings for Lord Nemesis.”
“I used to hate him, fear him, I wished him dead for a long time. But when I got to know him, see the inner workings of his mind and heart I came to admire him and finally care for him.”
“Yes?” Kittaine asked impatiently. Lwaxanna smirked but remained focused on Ochoa’s hair.
“You don’t have any children.”
“Are you sure you’re not a mind reader like this harpy? And don’t give me any nonsense about being observant, I have never mentioned children.”
“True enough and that in itself is usually a sign but this lovely lady likes to talk when I’m in the bath and that detail was relayed to me.”
Kittaine scowled at Lwaxanna who shrugged and smiled. Kittaine paused for a moment.
“You bathed him?”
“Well of COURSE I bathed him. He was filthy.”
Kittaine looked from Lwaxanna to Ochoa. Lwaxanna suddenly chuckled.
“Oh, you mean THAT. Well I am a decent woman Gideon and we wouldn’t want anything embarrassing to happen so I had Mr. Hom do it.”
“Mr. Hom?”
An enormous figure stepped out of the bathroom area carrying a filthy Starfleet uniform holding it out at a distance with a vaguely distasteful expression on his face. He wore a simple brown tunic and was far taller than anyone Kittaine had seen, taller even than Vader.
Kittaine took a cautious step back, his hand wandered down to his blaster pistol but Hom merely bowed slightly in his direction and turned his attention to Lwaxanna.
“No, Mr. Hom. there will be no need to keep those, find an incinerator and get rid of that immediately.” Lwaxanna ordered as she wrinkled her nose in disgust. Kittaine watched Hom warily as he strode past him out of the quarters.
“What is that?”
“My manservant, Mr. Hom. He’s been with the family for a long time.”
Kittaine shook his head ruefully.
“You never cease to amaze me.” he muttered.
Ochoa smiled softly and cleared his throat.
“You don’t have children yet Nemesis fits the bill doesn’t he?”
Kittaine blinked.
“What are you implying?”
“Lord Nemesis is everything you wanted in a son. Dashing, handsome, intelligent powerful.”
“I hardly think that I would want that cruel tyrant as a child.” Kittaine replied dryly.
Ochoa cocked his head slightly. “Except of course you don’t really think that he’s a cruel tyrant.”
Lwaxanna paused in her hair combing.
“Are you sure you’re not at least partially Betazoid? Maybe some Vulcan in you from the past?”
Ochoa smiled mysteriously.
“No, I’m sure. I just know what to look for now. Admiral, frankly I’m exhausted and I could use some time to myself and actually sleep on a mattress.”
Kittaine stared for a moment.
“Huh? Oh, of course, Captain. By all means. We shall discuss these matters tomorrow.”
“Admiral, there’s one thing you should be aware of. Things are coming to a head very soon. Nemesis left here looking for validation and he will not receive it, at least not in the form that he is looking for. There will come a moment of truth.”
Kittaine remained staring at the young Captain, his eyes vaguely looking in his direction.
“We will need to decided whether we will stand by him or betray him and save ourselves. I know where I stand, the question will soon come, where do you and your fleet stand.”
Kittaine cleared his throat after a moment of silence.
“I will leave you to your preparations for bed, Captain.”
“Admiral. I think that having dinner with Lwaxanna would be a fabulous idea.”
Kittaine opened his mouth to speak.
“Besides, I think you must be tired of eating alone and I can vouch for her ability to keep you engaged and entertained.” Ochoa added.
“Nonsense.” Lwaxanna protested and fixed Ochoa’s collar as she simultaneously smoothed out a wrinkle on his shirt. “Mr. Hom will prepare us a wonderful dinner. You need food to keep your strength up.”
“It really is for the best.” Kittaine added.
“I’m tired Lwaxanna, and surely Admiral you are a gentlemen as well as an officer unless our galaxies our so far apart in culture. You would not let a beautiful woman like Lwaxanna eat by herself.”
“You’re blind, Ochoa. You have no idea what you’re talking about when it comes to her beauty.” Kittaine replied sardonically. Lwaxanna started to protest bitterly.
“I don’t need to see her to know that she is a gem among women, Admiral. I envy you that you can see her. But suit yourself, your quarters call you.” Ochoa replied dismissively.
“Oh, very well. Lwax----Security liaison Troi, will you please accompany me to dinner?”
“I don’t know…” she started. Ochoa surreptitiously stomped on her foot. “BUT since you asked me so politely Admiral how could I refuse.” she finished squelching her exclamation of pain with the words.
“Very well.” Kittaine nodded. He started to turn away and paused, head turning back to regard the young Captain sitting with a preternatural calm as Lwaxanna finished combing his hair. There was a peaceful aura to him, as if he knew precisely what was going to happen and had made peace with himself and the universe. There was an odd jab of jealousy in his heart.
“When this moment of truth comes, how will you choose?” he asked quietly.
Ochoa looked in Kittaine’s general direction and smiled.
“I will follow my heart Grand Admiral and not my head. My head led me here, now my heart will lead me out.” he replied.
Lwaxanna peered down at Ochoa and frowned.
“I hate to leave you alone.”
“I am not alone dear lady, but if you wish leave me a token of your kindness, perhaps a rig to remember you by until you return.”
Lwaxanna blushed and put a hand to her chest.
“You are a charmer, Captain Ochoa. Are you sure you’re married?”
“Indeed I am.” Ochoa replied, the first hint of sadness in his voice creeping in. Kittaine made a decision right then and there that he would do something about that.
“Here,” she slipped a ring off her finger and slipped it into the hollow of his left hand. “And I do you one better.” she kissed his cheek.
“Many thanks.” Ochoa replied with a warm smile.
“Dinner, Grand Admiral? I can hear the lady’s stomach grumbling from here.”
“Yes, yes, come along Lwa---Troi, dinner is served at precisely 1830 and it is almost that time.”
“Very well, Grand Admiral. I’m all yours.” Lwaxanna replied lustily.
Kittaine shook his head and started to walk out.
Lwaxanna cleared her throat. Kittaine turned slowly and looked over at her. She stood calmly extending a hand delicately.
“Are you mad?” Kittaine asked frostily.
“Officers and gentlemen, sir.” Ochoa added playfully.
Kittaine rolled his eyes.
“Come.” he said in a defeated tone and accepted her arm. They walked out together, Mr. Hom calmly trailing behind them. Lwaxanna spared a glance back as the doors slid shut and saw Ochoa wink.
Ochoa waited silently in his chair, he knew where the bed was, where the bathroom was but he was waiting for something else. He absently rolled the ring Lwaxanna gave him around the palm of his hand, feeling the cool gold on his flesh.
A sound like a flare being lit hissed through the room and a cold blue light danced on Ochoa’s face. He smiled warmly.
“I was wondering when you were going to show up. Like the new digs?”
“Impressive. I hope you know what you are doing concerning your choice. That boy is our last hope.”
“This entire war, Ben, has always been about Hope.” Ochoa replied.
Another blue light hissed into being to Ochoa’s right.
“Hasty we must not be. There is another. He is being tested, as I once tested Skywalker.”
“I see we have a full house tonight. I am honored.” Ochoa added.
“Princess, you have no need to ask me or even convince me.” Captain Entebbe said with a grin as he adjusted his uniform before rising from his seat behind a desk. Entebbe had been assigned by Kirk as head of R&D for weapons and technological development. He had been busy of late in Avalon tearing apart what small bits of Imperial technology they could acquire and working along side Alliance engineers to integrate Federation and Alliance technology. They were currently focusing all of their energies on constructing a fully functioning hypermatter reactor.
Entebbe never looked happier and it pleased Leia to see him in such a state. She regretted having to ask him what she needed him to do, but there was no one else to turn to at this point.
“Captain, thank you. I don’t know how anyone would take me saying that I knew where Captain Kirk was. It seems that many in the command structure are subtly turning away from him.”
“Never, princess. Captain Kirk will always be our commander, that strutting prima Donna Jellico could never take his place. The problem with some of the higher ups is that they never believed in this war to begin with.”
“I understand, but I just don’t know who I can trust at this point and frankly what I am going to ask goes against the direct orders of your commander, Jellico.”
Entebbe’s brow furrowed slightly as he sat at the edge of his desk. The older man smiled softly, gray shooting through the hair at his temples, his sharp blue eyes focused on her.
“Go on.”
“I need your ship.”
“Oh?”
“The Reckless Hope has dedicated itself to the defense of Avalon and by extension the Federation. I cannot take her on this mission. If I do that I would be destroying our alliance and any hope of victory against the Empire.”
Entebbe nodded slowly and rubbed his chin.
“Whereas, if you simply commandeer a single science vessel it will just be my crew, you and I that face punishment while still preserving the alliance.” he noted.
Leia nodded slowly.
Entebbe sighed softly as he looked out the window of his office. The shipyards beyond dominated most of the view. There was a frantic scramble as starships were being refitted and repaired for the defense of Andor. The Empire would be making its big push soon and they needed to be ready. Many of the ships still proudly displayed blue lettering on their hulls.
THE FEDERATION LIVES
A few months ago, as the Imperial war machine marched inexorably towards Earth no one believed those words. One man was responsible for the hope that had ignited the passions of the Federation remnant.
And now he needed his help.
“You realize of course, princess, what you are asking.”
“Indeed I do, Captain.” Leia replied grimly.
“You’re asking me to risk my ship on a mission that directly contradicts an order from my superior officer, you are asking me to risk my career and the career of my crew to save a single man.”
“Yes.” Leia replied without hesitation. Entebbe nodded.
“Princess, that man saved my life, the lives of my crew and my ship when the Empire came calling. He alone had the courage to stand up when the rest of us, including me were ready to surrender.”
Leia remained still, looking into the older man’s eyes.
“There is no way in hell I’m going to leave him to his fate. Our careers for the life of James Kirk?” Entebbe paused long enough to make an expression of measuring his alternatives and nodded as he continued, “I’ll take those chances any day of the week. The Sagan will be ready in three hours.” he finished with an emphatic nod.
“Thank you Captain.” Leia beamed.
“Where are we going?”
Leia pulled a datapad out from her pocket and flipped it on to show to Entebbe.
“I drew this in a trance.”
Entebbe’s eyebrows raised slightly.
“I checked the system I drew here against the stellar charts in your databases, extrapolating the general direction Captain Kirk traveled to and four systems popped up as possible from the sketch. I checked each on and Scythia is the one that felt right.”
“Felt right?” Entebbe replied reluctantly.
“I can’t explain it Captain.” Leia said with a shake of her head. “It’s just that as soon as Scythia popped up on the display I felt this undeniable urge to go there. I could almost hear his voice calling for help. I’m sorry of this all sounds strange to you Captain, but you have to believe me. Ever since my battle in the Excalibur against Wesley Crusher I feel different somehow, as if a part of me has awakened from a long sleep.”
Entebbe looked into the young woman’s tired eyes. He could tell that she was wise beyond her years, she had seen so much.
Entebbe chuckled softly.
“Princess, weird is having your home and government invaded and conquered by alien beings from another galaxy wielding technology millennia ahead of yours whose humanity is a direct affront to everything we know of evolution and parallel development.” Entebbe replied. “Let’s assume your correct and it s Scythia, we’re looking at a near week long journey at maximum warp for my ship. A warship could make that in a few days.”
“I don’t have a warship, I have you.”
“Understood, but consider this, we may need one when we get there, because of there’s one thing Captain Kirk is, he is one hell of a weirdness magnet.” Entebbe remarked with a smirk.
“Will you help?”
“Three hours, your highness. I will beam you right out of your quarters.”
“I’ll be ready.”
The steady slow beep of the life support equipment was a sorrowful accompaniment to his thoughts as he watched her. She lay so very still in the bed, eyes closed and her chest barely moving in time with her slow shallow breaths. He sat quietly on one side of her bed watching he, hands closed around a datapad. Reports were slowly scrolling down on the datapad’s screen but he ignored them.
His eyes were on her and there was nothing else in his world.
He had thought her dead, he barely had time to mourn her passing when they brought her in here, miraculously alive but suffering from horrible wounds inflicted on her by a young man that had suddenly exhibited the powers of a god.
“Commander Antilles.”
Wedge turned slowly in his chair as the medical droid rolled quietly along the floor to him and paused to look at Kelly Antilles’ chart.
“There has been some improvement in her condition since yesterday, sir.”
“Really?” Wedge straightened up in the chair. The medical droid noted the sudden increase in heart rate and respiration and recognized that Wedge had over reacted to the news, He switched his tone slightly to not seem as upbeat so as not to get Wedge’s hopes up.
“She is starting to respond to some aural stimulation and brain wave activity indicates an increase in higher cognitive functions indicating that she may be starting to come out of her coma. This is an improvement from her condition yesterday when she did not respond at all to aural stimuli and her brain waves remained suppressed. Despite the surgery and Bacta treatments, the head injuries were quite severe, coupled with strange degenerative damage caused by what Princess Leia called force lightning have made recovery very difficult. Frankly she needed a dedicated hospital facility which we unfortunately have under construction at the moment.”
“I understand, but she IS getting better?”
“Yes sir.”
Wedge breathed a soft sigh of relief.
“I will be around again to check on her soon.” the droid stated and rolled away.
Wedge put his hand on the guard rail by her bed and gripped it tightly.
“You hang in there, sis.” Wedge urged.
Suddenly Kelly’s hand closed around his like a vise. Wedge’s eyes widened.
“Help her.” she whispered fervently.
“Kelly?!”
“Help…her.” she repeated more forcefully, eyes closed shut but her hand was around his tightly.
“Help who, Kelly?” Wedge asked sharply, the sound of the life-support systems grew louder as the steady beep of her heartbeat increased significantly.
“Help..her…she must save him.”
“Kelly?”
Just as quickly as it happened Kelly’s hand slipped limply away and fell back into the bed and the harsh beeps of the life support equipment died down. Wedge rubbed his hand as he stared at his sister sleeping as calmly as she had been since in this ward.
“Quite frankly Data. I’m ashamed.” Riker snapped angrily as he threw down the datapad Data had handed him moments before.
“Sir?” Data asked quizzically.
“You know what they’re saying about me?”
“Are you referring to the rumors that you were responsible for the failure at Romulus?” Data asked innocently.
“Yeah, that would be it.” Riker replied darkly.
“I see no basis for this line of reasoning. the Excalibur performed as expected against the Imperials and up until we destroyed Remus we were performing well within mission parameters.”
“Up until we tried to carve up and devour Romulus while Wesley tried to kill everyone in engineering.”
“Geordie is almost fully recovered from his injuries and is currently overseeing the repair work on the Excalibur.”
Riker shook his head.
“Not that it matters at this point.” Riker noted Data’s confused expression. He turned the small computer terminal on his desk around so that data could see the screen. Data scanned it quickly.
“I do not understand. It has been firmly established that the only vessel in our fleet that can stand up to an Imperial stardestroyer is the Excalibur.”
“The Excalibur has been reassigned to defensive duty. We’re assigned to protect Avalon at all costs and we won’t even be taking part in Operation Rampart in the Andor system.”
“Perhaps if you spoke with Captain Jellico.”
“Data, he made it very clear to me that he does not trust me or the ship. He’s permanently assigned me to the Excalibur and thus assigned me to stand guard here in Avalon until this war is over.”
“This is illogical.”
“No, it’s the result of a carefully orchestrated campaign to discredit everything that James Kirk built with this fleet. The Excalibur is going to be used as a whipping boy to show everyone what a failure Kirk was in the long run.”
“What are we going to do?” Data asked.
Riker smiled softly as Data included himself in the dilemma. Data tried so hard to be human but sometimes it was the moments like these, when he simply acted naturally that his humanity shown through.
“For now, there is nothing we can do, he is my superior officer, but I will tell you this, when I get a chance to redeem ourselves I’m taking it without hesitation.” Riker replied and sighed heavily as he sat back in his chair.
What have I done? Nemesis wondered horrified as he stirred slightly and glanced around quickly. Mara was in a very light sleep, her shallow breaths coming soft and slow as she lay nestled in his left arm, one hand draped across his belly. Her skin was warm and soft and something stirred in him again.
He glanced down at her and stared at her face, taking in her beauty, following the graceful sweep of her neck, her solid jaw line, her soft luxurious hair. She was so beautiful.
This cannot be.
“Young Skywalker, I look forward to completing your training.”
He shook his head, fighting the unbidden memory.
The cold darkness embraced him and he knelt naked but confident in the circle. Behind him was his father, proud and tall, the slow mechanical breathing breaking the icy cold silence that closed around him like a fist as he bowed his head to the man he called Master. The one that had shown him the depths of the betrayal.
“You have passed the trials, your anger fuels your might like a furnace. Rage is your sword, shadow your shield. None can touch you now as you leave behind all remnants of what you were. Step out of the light and into the darkness my young apprentice. Embrace the Sith Name bestowed upon you and embrace the darkness that is at the heart of our power, ever shall it comfort and fuel you, quick to join you in battle and victory shall be brought to you on its knees for you to seize for you are the master and not the slave of the light. Rise Darth Nemesis and leave the name of Skywalker behind you as you leave the weak mewling of the treacherous light.”
He rose and stood proudly before Palpatine.
The ancient Sith lord stared at him with those malevolent yellow eyes illuminating parchment like skin. He smiled victoriously as Vader slipped the robes of a Sith lord over Nemesis’ shoulders. He drew a small measure of comfort from the touch of his father’s cold metal gauntlets.
“You like your father are now…MINE.”
Nemesis sat up quickly, nearly waking Mara, but a quick exertion of the force slipped her into deeper sleep.
“I am not Luke Skywalker.” he whispered. “That name has no meaning to me.”
“How you feelin’ kid?”
Nemesis’ head jerked up quickly and he saw him standing, more like lounging against the entrance of the cave.
“Han?”
Solo smiled and nodded.
“Quick on the uptake today, have to hand it to ya kid, you have taste in women. First Leia now her.” Han indicated Mara with a lecherous smile.
Nemesis rose up quickly while simultaneously draping the Sith robe over her exposed body.
“Hey hold on a sec, we’re friends and all but do I really have to see all that?” Han asked indicating Nemesis’ naked hard chiseled body.
“You can’t complain because you’re not here.”
“Aw, c’mon kid, do we really have to go over this again.”
“I refuse to believe in you. You’re thousands of years away from here. You’re probably dead or a relic in someone’s collection right now.”
Han frowned.
“Listen you little dark Sith lord if I’m there its because you abandoned me out there!” Han snapped.
Nemesis shook his head.
“Shut up.”
“I wonder what would have happened if I left you in that Trench by yourself? I tell you one thing for sure, Big daddy would have reduced you to free floating atoms. Very parental of him.”
“He didn’t know.”
“And maybe if I listened to everyone back at Echo base you would have been the Jedi Popsicle back on Hoth.”
“You want my gratitude is that it?” Nemesis sneered.
“I don’t want ANYTHING from you. I want to talk to Luke.”
“He’s gone.” Nemesis hissed.
Han crossed his arms and smirked.
“Suit yourself. But remember kid, you’re choices have consequences. You are walking your father’s road and it ain’t looking pretty from where I’m standing. There ain’t no all powerful energy field controlling my destiny and you know what? There isn’t one controlling yours either.”
Nemesis paused.
Han smiled sardonically.
“That’s right, I may not be a Jedi Master but even I can see it’s all about choices kid. I chose to fly back to the Deathstar and save you when I could have paid off my debts and lived a fairly decent…well…somewhat decent life. I made that choice not some power field. The Force didn’t save you on Hoth either kid, last time I checked yours truly made a choice to go out there and save you. Just like you choose to walk off the gantry into the arms of a man that tried to murder you once, maimed you for life and killed the only people you could call family back on Tatooine. But what the hell, Luke Skywalker isn’t around to think about those choices anymore….is he?”
Nemesis stared at Han for a long moment. He opened his mouth to speak but the apparition was gone like snow on the wind.
His jaw tightened.
“I’ll never join you!” he shouted into the tempest whipping around him.
“Liar.” he whispered.
Mara awoke with a start and immediately reached out and felt nothing beside her. She glanced around quickly and saw that Nemesis’ lightsaber, utility belt and clothes were gone. Only the cloak was wrapped around her gently.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Ripped Shirt Monkey - BOTMWriter's Guild Cybertron's Finest Justice League
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Crayz9000
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Remarkable.
Although it's still ridden with grammatical errors. Stravo, have you asked anyone if they would be interested in proofreading it for you?
Although it's still ridden with grammatical errors. Stravo, have you asked anyone if they would be interested in proofreading it for you?
A Tribute to Stupidity: The Robert Scott Anderson Archive (currently offline)
John Hansen - Slightly Insane Bounty Hunter - ASVS Vets' Assoc. Class of 2000
HAB Cryptanalyst | WG - Intergalactic Alliance and Spoof Author | BotM | Cybertron | SCEF
John Hansen - Slightly Insane Bounty Hunter - ASVS Vets' Assoc. Class of 2000
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Captain Cyran
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Beautiful Stravo. I loved every part. One my favorite characters has got to be Ochoa, he is SO cool. And the Nemesis, Han talk was awesome to. Keep up the awesome work man.
Justice League, Super-Villain Carnage "Carnage Rules!" Cult of the Kitten Mew... The Black Mage with The Knife SD.Net Chronicler of the Past Bun Bun is my hero. The Official Verilonitis Vaccinator
You know, seriously now, the grammar thing has me a bit flustered, Crayz if you can PM me some examples you got the job.Crayz9000 wrote:Remarkable.
Although it's still ridden with grammatical errors. Stravo, have you asked anyone if they would be interested in proofreading it for you?
Wherever you go, there you are.
Ripped Shirt Monkey - BOTMWriter's Guild Cybertron's Finest Justice League
This updated sig brought to you by JME2
Ripped Shirt Monkey - BOTMWriter's Guild Cybertron's Finest Justice League
This updated sig brought to you by JME2
You know, Ochoa grew on me as a character, I was going to use him as a simple plot device and he's grown to be so much more to me. He's a beautiful human being, growing from adversity, if I had 1/10 of his spirituality and fortiude I would be a happier person.Captain_Cyran wrote:Beautiful Stravo. I loved every part. One my favorite characters has got to be Ochoa, he is SO cool. And the Nemesis, Han talk was awesome to. Keep up the awesome work man.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Ripped Shirt Monkey - BOTMWriter's Guild Cybertron's Finest Justice League
This updated sig brought to you by JME2
Ripped Shirt Monkey - BOTMWriter's Guild Cybertron's Finest Justice League
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Crayz9000
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... Eep.
I might be able to do the proofreading, but I don't have very much free time on my hands thanks to that thing known as college.
I suppose I can give it a shot, though. You can always check in the Writer's Guild if you want examples... I tend to be very picky when it comes to grammar, punctuation and spelling anyway.
I might be able to do the proofreading, but I don't have very much free time on my hands thanks to that thing known as college.
I suppose I can give it a shot, though. You can always check in the Writer's Guild if you want examples... I tend to be very picky when it comes to grammar, punctuation and spelling anyway.
A Tribute to Stupidity: The Robert Scott Anderson Archive (currently offline)
John Hansen - Slightly Insane Bounty Hunter - ASVS Vets' Assoc. Class of 2000
HAB Cryptanalyst | WG - Intergalactic Alliance and Spoof Author | BotM | Cybertron | SCEF
John Hansen - Slightly Insane Bounty Hunter - ASVS Vets' Assoc. Class of 2000
HAB Cryptanalyst | WG - Intergalactic Alliance and Spoof Author | BotM | Cybertron | SCEF
No problem Crayz. I appreciate the honesty and the suggestion has been acted upon. I'll see what the Guild has to say.Crayz9000 wrote:... Eep.
I might be able to do the proofreading, but I don't have very much free time on my hands thanks to that thing known as college.
I suppose I can give it a shot, though. You can always check in the Writer's Guild if you want examples... I tend to be very picky when it comes to grammar, punctuation and spelling anyway.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Ripped Shirt Monkey - BOTMWriter's Guild Cybertron's Finest Justice League
This updated sig brought to you by JME2
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Soontir C'boath
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A nice evening read. Better then the strongest coffee to keep me awake and intense. ~Jason
~JasonI have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season."
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Darth Garden Gnome
- Official SD.Net Lawn Ornament
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Why don't you just write the thing out in MS Word or your comps equivilent? Sure, you'll get spelling errors for every name and planet you type down, but it'll relieve you of grammtical errors.Stravo wrote:No problem Crayz. I appreciate the honesty and the suggestion has been acted upon. I'll see what the Guild has to say.
On-topic: Holy shit. Ochoa, Ben, and Yoda? Plus Han, and Entebbe. Damn, looks like all the characters that were soooo tiny in the beggining are starting to be have the biggest parts in the end! Great chapter man.
Leader of the Secret Gnome Revolution
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Crayz9000
- Sith Apprentice
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I actually would recommend not using Microsoft Word's grammar checker. More often than not, that screwed-up POS tells you that you should replace correct grammar with completely bass-ackwards grammar, and overlooks grammatical errors. It also has no idea of context...
A Tribute to Stupidity: The Robert Scott Anderson Archive (currently offline)
John Hansen - Slightly Insane Bounty Hunter - ASVS Vets' Assoc. Class of 2000
HAB Cryptanalyst | WG - Intergalactic Alliance and Spoof Author | BotM | Cybertron | SCEF
John Hansen - Slightly Insane Bounty Hunter - ASVS Vets' Assoc. Class of 2000
HAB Cryptanalyst | WG - Intergalactic Alliance and Spoof Author | BotM | Cybertron | SCEF
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Mitth`raw`nuruodo
- Harry Potter on Acid
- Posts: 2867
- Joined: 2003-03-23 07:38pm
Loved it. Great Han+Luke talk. Must...have...more...
<< SEGNOR: Grand Admiral of the Gnomish Hordes >< GALE: Equal Opportunity Lover >< SDNet Keeper of the Lore >< Great Dolphin Conspiracy >>
My Audioscrobbler
Cult of Vin Diesel - When you mix Vin Diesel with a strong acid you get salt water.
My Audioscrobbler
Cult of Vin Diesel - When you mix Vin Diesel with a strong acid you get salt water.
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Kelly Antilles
- Sith Acolyte
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Natorgator
- Jedi Knight
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Stravo, I know I'm a newbie here, but if you need a proofreader I could definitely help out. There usually aren't as many mistakes as some make it out to be, but they do exist.Stravo wrote: You know, seriously now, the grammar thing has me a bit flustered, Crayz if you can PM me some examples you got the job.
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Darth Yoshi
- Metroid
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Whee. Kelly's still in one piece. Well, mostly. Great chapter, man.
Lore Monkey | the Pichu-master™
Secularism—since AD 80
Av: Elika; Prince of Persia