Balrog vs Hogwarts
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Balrog vs Hogwarts
LOTR Balrog vs Hogwarts. Inspired by Smaug vs Hogwarts
Devolution is quite as natural as evolution, and may be just as pleasing, or even a good deal more pleasing, to God. If the average man is made in God's image, then a man such as Beethoven or Aristotle is plainly superior to God, and so God may be jealous of him, and eager to see his superiority perish with his bodily frame.
-H.L. Mencken
-H.L. Mencken
What can one do to a creature made of smoke and fire?
'Ai! ai!' wailed Legolas. 'A Balrog! A Balrog is come!'
Gimli stared with wide eyes. 'Durin's Bane!' he cried, and letting his axe fall he covered his face.
'A Balrog,' muttered Gandalf. 'Now I understand.' He faltered and leaned heavily on his staff. 'What an evil fortune! And I am already weary.'
- J.R.R Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
Gimli stared with wide eyes. 'Durin's Bane!' he cried, and letting his axe fall he covered his face.
'A Balrog,' muttered Gandalf. 'Now I understand.' He faltered and leaned heavily on his staff. 'What an evil fortune! And I am already weary.'
- J.R.R Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
- BlkbrryTheGreat
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Lure it into a room and suck out all the oxygen.Balrog wrote:What can one do to a creature made of smoke and fire?
Devolution is quite as natural as evolution, and may be just as pleasing, or even a good deal more pleasing, to God. If the average man is made in God's image, then a man such as Beethoven or Aristotle is plainly superior to God, and so God may be jealous of him, and eager to see his superiority perish with his bodily frame.
-H.L. Mencken
-H.L. Mencken
Piece of cake; Hermione's already drawing up blueprints of the room.BlkbrryTheGreat wrote:Lure it into a room and suck out all the oxygen.Balrog wrote:What can one do to a creature made of smoke and fire?
"On the infrequent occasions when I have been called upon in a formal place to play the bongo drums, the introducer never seems to find it necessary to mention that I also do theoretical physics." -Richard Feynman
Hermione is a bookworm and very clever, but she hasn't shown the ability to actually engineer.Zaia wrote:Piece of cake; Hermione's already drawing up blueprints of the room.BlkbrryTheGreat wrote:Lure it into a room and suck out all the oxygen.Balrog wrote:What can one do to a creature made of smoke and fire?
Yeah, I know I'm being tediously literal.
Björn Paulsen
"Travelers with closed minds can tell us little except about themselves."
--Chinua Achebe
"Travelers with closed minds can tell us little except about themselves."
--Chinua Achebe
I picture her rushing to the library to research the Balrog. Once she understands what it is, she will think of its weakness. Then she would rush over to find a map of the school, figure out what room would work best for this purpose. If she couldn't come up with anything, all she'd have to do would be to go back to that room of necessity, which would turn itself into whatever she needed it to be (ie, a room with an air vacuum with some Balrog bait in the middle of it). While all this is going on, I can picture her towing Ron and Harry along with her, running her mouth a mile a minute, explaining what the Balrog would do if they didn't make her plan work, with them looking vaguely alarmed as she shoves books under their noses, backing up what she has to say.Eleas wrote:Hermione is a bookworm and very clever, but she hasn't shown the ability to actually engineer.
Yeah, I know I'm being tediously literal.
The end.
"On the infrequent occasions when I have been called upon in a formal place to play the bongo drums, the introducer never seems to find it necessary to mention that I also do theoretical physics." -Richard Feynman
*wince* Please, Zaia... spoiler space?Zaia wrote:all she'd have to do would be to go back to that room of necessity (book 5, where they did their Defense Against the Dark Arts labs), which would turn itself into whatever she needed it to be (ie, a
Björn Paulsen
"Travelers with closed minds can tell us little except about themselves."
--Chinua Achebe
"Travelers with closed minds can tell us little except about themselves."
--Chinua Achebe
Oh, jeez, I'm sorry, hon. That was thoughtless of me--it was just what came into my head, as to how she'd deal with the problem. Sorry. If I could go back to edit that too, I would, but as you can see, that whole edit thing was eluding me before, as it is now....... I apologize if I ruined anything for you.
"On the infrequent occasions when I have been called upon in a formal place to play the bongo drums, the introducer never seems to find it necessary to mention that I also do theoretical physics." -Richard Feynman
And the Balrog, being the unintelligent, ferel beast that it is, will just wander right into said room with "Balrog bait" [/sarcasmoff]
For a creature that can cast spells with the best of 'em in Middle Earth, the Moria Balrog isn't gonna fall for a little schoolgirl's trap
For a creature that can cast spells with the best of 'em in Middle Earth, the Moria Balrog isn't gonna fall for a little schoolgirl's trap
'Ai! ai!' wailed Legolas. 'A Balrog! A Balrog is come!'
Gimli stared with wide eyes. 'Durin's Bane!' he cried, and letting his axe fall he covered his face.
'A Balrog,' muttered Gandalf. 'Now I understand.' He faltered and leaned heavily on his staff. 'What an evil fortune! And I am already weary.'
- J.R.R Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
Gimli stared with wide eyes. 'Durin's Bane!' he cried, and letting his axe fall he covered his face.
'A Balrog,' muttered Gandalf. 'Now I understand.' He faltered and leaned heavily on his staff. 'What an evil fortune! And I am already weary.'
- J.R.R Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
S'okay, girl. I just got into a fairly nasty flamewar with someone else because Eframepilot decided to post the details on the Voldemort / Dumbledore duel.Zaia wrote:Oh, jeez, I'm sorry, hon. That was thoughtless of me--it was just what came into my head, as to how she'd deal with the problem. Sorry. If I could go back to edit that too, I would, but as you can see, that whole edit thing was eluding me before, as it is now....... I apologize if I ruined anything for you.
By the way, our dog was just buried. Hence my change of avatar.
Björn Paulsen
"Travelers with closed minds can tell us little except about themselves."
--Chinua Achebe
"Travelers with closed minds can tell us little except about themselves."
--Chinua Achebe
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Against the massed forces of Hogwarts - teachers and students together, then I think even Gothmog would have a hard time, I mean, assuming that blanketing the thing with spells would work, then the school wins.
The Balrog managed to pass through the underground lakes of Moria, and survived well enough to climb the highest staircase in middle earth to fight Gandalf again, if it didnt drown there, then how can we be sure that sucking all the oxygen out of a room will work? And we know far more about Hogwarts then we do the Balrog, annoying really.
Hogwarts 1, Morgroth 0
Against Harry, Ron and Hermione, in the traditional way, then I suspect that the Balrog will have a very easy time - we saw the Balrog nearly shatter Gandalf's control over the door with a spell, so we have to assume that the Balrog is a very powerful magical entity (obviously we have no comparison method between the two worlds).
So, if the Balrog can get in with either its flame sword, flame whip or mace (I think), then I doubt 3 teenage wizards are going to survive - we havent really seen an expelliarmus spell work against a more powerful foe, Harry vs Voldemort was stopped by the reversey spell thingy, so we dont know whether they'll be able to disarm the thing before it can bring its weapons to bear.
Add to that the fact that the Balrog has the ability to manipulate the shadow around it (the old Balrog wings/shadow chestnut), and I suspect that hitting the Balrog with a spell with only 3 people will be harder than it looks.
Bah, I don't know, we know next to nothing about the Balrogs - all I know is that we're not talking cavetroll intelligence here, Gothmog was made lieutenant of Angband, you dont put someone with less than 2 braincells in charge of your vital fortress.
The Balrog managed to pass through the underground lakes of Moria, and survived well enough to climb the highest staircase in middle earth to fight Gandalf again, if it didnt drown there, then how can we be sure that sucking all the oxygen out of a room will work? And we know far more about Hogwarts then we do the Balrog, annoying really.
Hogwarts 1, Morgroth 0
Against Harry, Ron and Hermione, in the traditional way, then I suspect that the Balrog will have a very easy time - we saw the Balrog nearly shatter Gandalf's control over the door with a spell, so we have to assume that the Balrog is a very powerful magical entity (obviously we have no comparison method between the two worlds).
So, if the Balrog can get in with either its flame sword, flame whip or mace (I think), then I doubt 3 teenage wizards are going to survive - we havent really seen an expelliarmus spell work against a more powerful foe, Harry vs Voldemort was stopped by the reversey spell thingy, so we dont know whether they'll be able to disarm the thing before it can bring its weapons to bear.
Add to that the fact that the Balrog has the ability to manipulate the shadow around it (the old Balrog wings/shadow chestnut), and I suspect that hitting the Balrog with a spell with only 3 people will be harder than it looks.
Bah, I don't know, we know next to nothing about the Balrogs - all I know is that we're not talking cavetroll intelligence here, Gothmog was made lieutenant of Angband, you dont put someone with less than 2 braincells in charge of your vital fortress.
"...a fountain of mirth, issuing forth from the penis of a cupid..." ~ Dalton / Winner of the 'Frank Hipper Most Horrific Drag EVAR' award - 2004 / The artist formerly known as The_Lumberjack.
Evil Brit Conspiracy: Token Moose Obsessed Kebab Munching Semi Geordie
Evil Brit Conspiracy: Token Moose Obsessed Kebab Munching Semi Geordie
Gah! I hate that, which is why I simply felt awful that I had done so to you.Eleas wrote:S'okay, girl. I just got into a fairly nasty flamewar with someone else because Eframepilot decided to post the details on the Voldemort / Dumbledore duel.
Oh, that's terribly sad. There's nothing I can say that will make you feel better, so--*hugs* I'm terribly sorry, sweetie.By the way, our dog was just buried. Hence my change of avatar.
"On the infrequent occasions when I have been called upon in a formal place to play the bongo drums, the introducer never seems to find it necessary to mention that I also do theoretical physics." -Richard Feynman