So if SD.net were a village...

Faram · Post by **Faram** » 2003-07-18 07:36am

Okay I'll run the still...

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-07-18 08:52am

Faram wrote:Okay I'll run the still...

seeing that i am a professional in the field of quality assurance i highly reccomend myself as a buisness partner....now where's da hooch yo?

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-07-18 08:54am

I run the law firm.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-07-18 09:30am

Vympel wrote:I run the law firm.

I'd imagine Stravo would jump into that too. I can see it now....

[scene: two men in suits standing at the scene of an accident]
"Have you been injured at work? In a auto accident? Maybe you merely witnessed a traumatic event. At the law firm of Vympel and Stravo we can turn that trauma in to cold hard cash! Listen to this happy testimonial:
[Cut to happy woman with a bag of cash]
"I watched a puppy get run over by loory, and for a while i wuz depress'. But tanks ta' da looww firm a Vympel an' Stravo i got five 'undred quid fo me troubles!"
[cut back to men in suits]
"You too can cash in on your trauma. Call today. And remember, we don't get paid, unless you get paid"

[unintellegable legal disclaimer utterd by speed talker spoken here]

Tosho · Post by **Tosho** » 2003-07-18 09:44am

Col. Crackpot wrote: And remember, we don't get paid, unless you get paid"

[unintellegable legal disclaimer utterd by speed talker spoken here]

The legal disclaimer would of course amount to "We're just joking about not getting paid if you don't win."

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2003-07-18 09:52am

I'd be a cop who guns people down for J-walking.

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2003-07-18 10:04am

I want to run the town's local Italian restaurant, with pizza and pasta for all!

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2003-07-18 10:24am

I'd open the Church Of The Small Gods, and live according to the tenants. Of course, since the Small Gods cover everything conceivable, that means I can still work on creating a TDP plant to convert all the crap you people make into oil.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-07-18 10:35am

I'd either be the comic cataloguer or what I do for real.

Such an odd fate as is.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-07-18 11:19am

Dorsk 81 wrote:Your all forgetting one very important figure head in our community.

If SD.net were a village......who'd be the village idiot?

We'd have an abundance of them. Maybe they could all live in the same house.

Baron Mordo · Post by **Baron Mordo** » 2003-07-18 12:05pm

I'd hang out at the Comics and Manga stores all the time.

And the library.

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-07-18 12:19pm

SEGNOR would run around peoples ankles, keeping law. If someone gets out of line, we bite their ankles*

*Which little do they know will turn them into a Gnomish zombie in our plot to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-07-18 12:20pm

RedImperator wrote:We'd have an abundance of them. Maybe they could all live in the same house.

And the Dean of the local college could put them on double secret probation. Naturally, I've got a room there, when I'm not in the bell tower.

Baron Scarpia · Post by **Baron Scarpia** » 2003-07-18 12:21pm

Well, I'd nominate myself to be the general manager of the village's esteemed Opera House, as well as the chancellor of arts & culture.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-07-18 12:32pm

Need a gun?

Liquor, beer, or wine?

How about the finest in adult entertainment and marital aids?

Perhaps the latest in "deep tissue technique massage therapy"?

Well, c'mon down to Hipper's House of Vice, we have a wide selection of the finest firearms, distilled spirits and fermented beverages, and the largest selection of titilating literature and video anywhere on the planet!
And don't forget to stop in upstairs at our "Massage Parlour", where our intoxicatingly beautiful staff of ladies and gents will cater to your most demanding needs.
And we validate your parking stub!
That's Hipper's House of Vice at the corner of Phelps and Darwin, in beautiful downtown Essdiedahtnetville!

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-07-18 12:35pm

Col. Crackpot wrote:
Vympel wrote:I run the law firm.
I'd imagine Stravo would jump into that too. I can see it now....

[scene: two men in suits standing at the scene of an accident]
"Have you been injured at work? In a auto accident? Maybe you merely witnessed a traumatic event. At the law firm of Vympel and Stravo we can turn that trauma in to cold hard cash! Listen to this happy testimonial:
[Cut to happy woman with a bag of cash]
"I watched a puppy get run over by loory, and for a while i wuz depress'. But tanks ta' da looww firm a Vympel an' Stravo i got five 'undred quid fo me troubles!"
[cut back to men in suits]
"You too can cash in on your trauma. Call today. And remember, we don't get paid, unless you get paid"

[unintellegable legal disclaimer utterd by speed talker spoken here]

After commercial Stravo turns to Vympel. "What the FUCK is a loory and is quid a lot of money...can't we get any American clients???"

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-07-18 12:36pm

Mitth-raw-nuruodo wrote:SEGNOR would run around peoples ankles, keeping law. If someone gets out of line, we bite their ankles*

*Which little do they know will turn them into a Gnomish zombie in our plot to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!

until shortly thereafter when the gnomes are crushed by the tanks of the HAB

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-07-18 12:48pm

Stravo wrote: After commercial Stravo turns to Vympel. "What the FUCK is a loory and is quid a lot of money...can't we get any American clients???"

LO fucking L!

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-07-18 12:49pm

As long as I get to continue blowing stuff up and stabbing things I'm happy.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-07-18 12:53pm

Col. Crackpot wrote:until shortly thereafter when the gnomes are crushed by the tanks of the HAB

Now why would you wanna do that? We're all just peaceful people sitting on peoples lawns and looking cool (And if I DON'T get paid for it, I'll file for unemployment and mooch of the cities tax money), we'd never try to turn you into zombies. Not without a permit from City Hall, anyways.

Dorsk 81 · Post by **Dorsk 81** » 2003-07-18 01:03pm

RedImperator wrote:
Dorsk 81 wrote:Your all forgetting one very important figure head in our community.

If SD.net were a village......who'd be the village idiot?
We'd have an abundance of them. Maybe they could all live in the same house.

But they may breed, then who you guna call?

YOUR FRIENDLY LOCAL EX-TERMINATOR!

(Incase you haven't guessed, I call that job)

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-07-18 01:04pm

Frank Hipper wrote:Need a gun?

Liquor, beer, or wine?

How about the finest in adult entertainment and marital aids?

Perhaps the latest in "deep tissue technique massage therapy"?

Well, c'mon down to Hipper's House of Vice, we have a wide selection of the finest firearms, distilled spirits and fermented beverages, and the largest selection of titilating literature and video anywhere on the planet!
And don't forget to stop in upstairs at our "Massage Parlour", where our intoxicatingly beautiful staff of ladies and gents will cater to your most demanding needs.
And we validate your parking stub!
That's Hipper's House of Vice at the corner of Phelps and Darwin, in beautiful downtown Essdiedahtnetville!

Hey, is the locoweed legal in Essdeidathnetville? Because you could make some serious green (hah! get it! green? ahahahahahaha....I slay me) selling that shit.

Wait a minute, I'm the chief of staff. That means I make all the decisions for the figurehead chief executive.* Well, would you look at that. The marijuana legalization resolution passed with 110% of the vote!

*Oh, you mean I never mentioned that part? Well, nobody asked.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-07-18 01:05pm

Dorsk 81 wrote:
RedImperator wrote:
Dorsk 81 wrote:Your all forgetting one very important figure head in our community.

If SD.net were a village......who'd be the village idiot?
We'd have an abundance of them. Maybe they could all live in the same house.
But they may breed, then who you guna call?

YOUR FRIENDLY LOCAL EX-TERMINATOR!

(Incase you haven't guessed, I call that job)

I doubt they could figure out which peg goes into which hole.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-07-18 01:06pm

Dorsk 81 wrote:
RedImperator wrote:We'd have an abundance of them. Maybe they could all live in the same house.
But they may breed, then who you guna call?

YOUR FRIENDLY LOCAL EX-TERMINATOR!

(Incase you haven't guessed, I call that job)

No you don't...Nothing says exterminate like a Hadoken. I'll just have to be careful about making sure I don't take the town and the surrounding country side out with it...

irishmick79 · Post by **irishmick79** » 2003-07-18 01:07pm

I'd be running (or at least be frequenting) the popular local establishment....naturally it would have the atmosphere of an Irish Pub.