So if SD.net were a village...

OT: anything goes!

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Post by Darth Garden Gnome »

Captain_Cyran wrote:*Whistles, walking away with an important part of the WaterJet. About 100 kilometers out the WaterJet stalls, tips over, and explodes.* So much for that gnome.
Psssh, the GNOMICON WaterJet has a warrenty of up to 12,000 years. These babies are made to last! :P

*replaces WaterJet; adds bumbper-sticker that reads: IF YOU ARE A BLACK MAGE AND YOU ARE READING THIS, IT'S TOO LATE THERE'S ALREADY A KNIFE IN YOUR THROAT*

:twisted:
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Post by Captain Cyran »

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:
Captain_Cyran wrote:*Whistles, walking away with an important part of the WaterJet. About 100 kilometers out the WaterJet stalls, tips over, and explodes.* So much for that gnome.
Psssh, the GNOMICON WaterJet has a warrenty of up to 12,000 years. These babies are made to last! :P

*replaces WaterJet; adds bumbper-sticker that reads: IF YOU ARE A BLACK MAGE AND YOU ARE READING THIS, IT'S TOO LATE THERE'S ALREADY A KNIFE IN YOUR THROAT*

:twisted:
You mess with my job again gnome...and it won't be pretty.

*Waits till the Waterski is off-shore and far away, Hadokens the WaterSki* Was there a bumpersticker on that, I couldn't tell...
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Post by Darth Garden Gnome »

Captain_Cyran wrote:You mess with my job again gnome...and it won't be pretty.

*Waits till the Waterski is off-shore and far away, Hadokens the WaterSki* Was there a bumpersticker on that, I couldn't tell...
*sees giant blue wave of energy rushing up his tail, sees as it smacks into the WaterJet and shouts in glee as it propells the WaterJet thousands of miles per hour, pushes it along the sea at incredible speeds creating massive tidal wave it its midst...after many hours of fastness, the beam dissapears inot he void...and DGG is very tired*

Dude, Cyran, that was awesome!!! We could totally use you on the team: Cyran Water Propulsion Expert. Huh? Sound good? You get to Hadoken stuff!!! :D
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Post by Sea Skimmer »

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:Psssh, the GNOMICON WaterJet has a warrenty of up to 12,000 years. These babies are made to last! :P

*replaces WaterJet; adds bumbper-sticker that reads: IF YOU ARE A BLACK MAGE AND YOU ARE READING THIS, IT'S TOO LATE THERE'S ALREADY A KNIFE IN YOUR THROAT*

:twisted:
*A SLAM blows the waterjet apart after it strays onto a open firing range*

Unfortunately for you the warranty only covers normal ware and tear, rather then hostile fire.
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Post by Darth Garden Gnome »

Sea Skimmer wrote:*A SLAM blows the waterjet apart after it strays onto a open firing range*

Unfortunately for you the warranty only covers normal ware and tear, rather then hostile fire.
*Or at least, that would've happened had not the WaterJet been hundreds of miles out at sea thanks to Cyran's super-neato Hadoken propulsion system: Gets you where you gotta go fast!*
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Post by Captain Cyran »

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:
Captain_Cyran wrote:You mess with my job again gnome...and it won't be pretty.

*Waits till the Waterski is off-shore and far away, Hadokens the WaterSki* Was there a bumpersticker on that, I couldn't tell...
*sees giant blue wave of energy rushing up his tail, sees as it smacks into the WaterJet and shouts in glee as it propells the WaterJet thousands of miles per hour, pushes it along the sea at incredible speeds creating massive tidal wave it its midst...after many hours of fastness, the beam dissapears inot he void...and DGG is very tired*

Dude, Cyran, that was awesome!!! We could totally use you on the team: Cyran Water Propulsion Expert. Huh? Sound good? You get to Hadoken stuff!!! :D
I get PAID for hadokening things? Sounds like a deal, hey this could be a new era of piece between Black Mages and Gnomes.
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Post by Darth Garden Gnome »

Captain_Cyran wrote:I get PAID for hadokening things? Sounds like a deal, hey this could be a new era of piece between Black Mages and Gnomes.
What, you don't get enough money from stabbing old men in blue coats? :)

Okay, fine. Lets see here...How 'bout 13 Ozarks an hour? Or, we could pay you by Hadoken. I dunno, 50 Ozarks per Hadoken could work out too.
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Post by Beowulf »

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:
Sea Skimmer wrote:*A SLAM blows the waterjet apart after it strays onto a open firing range*

Unfortunately for you the warranty only covers normal ware and tear, rather then hostile fire.
*Or at least, that would've happened had not the WaterJet been hundreds of miles out at sea thanks to Cyran's super-neato Hadoken propulsion system: Gets you where you gotta go fast!*
Hate to break it to you bud, but that is where the live fire range is. It's more than a hundred miles offshore.
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Post by RogueIce »

And, apparently, there will be a lot of unprovoked attacks on Gnomes in this village.

We should start a civil rights campaign. We're being oppressed!
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Post by Coyote »

Maybe we also need a sports collective of some sort. A jet-ski racing team. Or something. Jmac is probaly our mountain biker gold medalist.

Who is our Car Salesman? We need to make sure s/he has a proper liesure suit.
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Post by Captain Cyran »

RogueIce wrote:And, apparently, there will be a lot of unprovoked attacks on Gnomes in this village.

We should start a civil rights campaign. We're being oppressed!
Shut up and get back in your cardboard boxes. Damn uppity gnomes, still haven't learned their place.
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Post by Darth Garden Gnome »

Captain_Cyran wrote:Shut up and get back in your cardboard boxes. Damn uppity gnomes, still haven't learned their place.
Rascism! Blatant, unadulterated rascism! I'll have you know that my civil rights lawyers are ready to deploy at any moment, to any legal hotspot on the planet and break out the "BEEG KABOOMEYS". Ask yourself, do you wanna be sitting in a courtroom next to one of those?
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Post by Captain Cyran »

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:
Captain_Cyran wrote:Shut up and get back in your cardboard boxes. Damn uppity gnomes, still haven't learned their place.
Rascism! Blatant, unadulterated rascism! I'll have you know that my civil rights lawyers are ready to deploy at any moment, to any legal hotspot on the planet and break out the "BEEG KABOOMEYS". Ask yourself, do you wanna be sitting in a courtroom next to one of those?
I have Thief, Red Mage, and Fighter on my lawyer team. Do you REALLY think you can defeat a team like that?
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Post by RogueIce »

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:
Captain_Cyran wrote:Shut up and get back in your cardboard boxes. Damn uppity gnomes, still haven't learned their place.
Rascism! Blatant, unadulterated rascism! I'll have you know that my civil rights lawyers are ready to deploy at any moment, to any legal hotspot on the planet and break out the "BEEG KABOOMEYS". Ask yourself, do you wanna be sitting in a courtroom next to one of those?
*millions of Gnomes take to the streets of Essdeedahtnetville in peaceful marches singing "Freedom" protected from any rascist attacks by the Essdeedahtnetville Police Department staffed by the SuperMods who are, naturally, open and fair minded and above blatent rascist and prejudicial Gnome attacks*
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We rise with noble intentions,
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The war continues on..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, We Are All One (Medieval 2: Total War)
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Post by SeebianWurm »

Guerilla terrorist of the food industry.
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Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

Captain_Cyran wrote:
RogueIce wrote:And, apparently, there will be a lot of unprovoked attacks on Gnomes in this village.

We should start a civil rights campaign. We're being oppressed!
Shut up and get back in your cardboard boxes. Damn uppity gnomes, still haven't learned their place.
Yeah, I say we make them sit in front of our lawns with no pay like they did in the old days! Until the day gnomes run this city, I will consider them to be no more than lawn ornaments! (Looks out window to see dozens of gnomes closing in on my house) I take that back. Now I only want to force them into a gnome ghetto.
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Post by MKSheppard »

RogueIce wrote: *millions of Gnomes take to the streets of Essdeedahtnetville in peaceful marches singing "Freedom" protected from any rascist attacks by the Essdeedahtnetville Police Department staffed by the SuperMods who are, naturally, open and fair minded and above blatent rascist and prejudicial Gnome attacks*
Unfortunately, the mass Gnome movement on the streets causes the
WAR PLANS for mass insurgency to trip, and the HAB immediately is
called out, more specifically the SS-Liebstandarte Sheppard division,
which immediately begins cracking gnome heads.
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Post by Beowulf »

Shep? Did you forget about the Abram tank division set up for purposes like these?

*70 ton tanks run over the gnomes, turning their ceramic heads into dust*
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Post by Durandal »

Hm ... Shep as a librarian. I'm seeing a late returns policy similar to Conan the Librarian's. :)
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Post by Stravo »

What do we name some of our town street and landmarks?

200 Gigaton Terrace?

Imperial Boulevard?

Wong Square?
Wherever you go, there you are.

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Post by Durandal »

Durandal's Beauty Parlor. :D
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Post by Zaia »

Durandal wrote:Durandal's Beauty Parlor. :D
LOL!! You're so cute. Just make sure you warn the town clutz about the abundance of mirrors you'll have, unless you want he/she/it to have 23057943819847 years of bad luck. :D
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Post by Connor MacLeod »

Durandal wrote:Durandal's Beauty Parlor. :D
Not much of a clientele considering that the majority of your stock woudl go into the maintenence of that skullcap of yours :P
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Post by Connor MacLeod »

If this idea hasn't already been suggested:

I believe the official religion would be porn, and that the churches of the village would be replaced with porn stores.

You may proceed to corrupt the thread further as you see fit from this comment onwards :D
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Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

Connor MacLeod wrote:If this idea hasn't already been suggested:

I believe the official religion would be porn, and that the churches of the village would be replaced with porn stores.

You may proceed to corrupt the thread further as you see fit from this comment onwards :D
I think the official religion would be ass sex myself, though.
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