Masturbation

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2003-07-21 10:31pm

Gandalf wrote:
Superman wrote:Hmmm, I wonder what purpose masturbatory guilt serves(d). You know? Why did mother nature decide to make some men feel guilty about it?
Something akin to a conscience possibly, thats some 400 million potential humans that will never be.

Every sperm is sacred...

I thought I was the only one who thinks of the poor, dead sperm.

Sobbastchianno · Post by **Sobbastchianno** » 2003-07-21 10:41pm

Demiurge wrote:
Gandalf wrote:
Superman wrote:Hmmm, I wonder what purpose masturbatory guilt serves(d). You know? Why did mother nature decide to make some men feel guilty about it?
Something akin to a conscience possibly, thats some 400 million potential humans that will never be.

Every sperm is sacred...
I thought I was the only one who thinks of the poor, dead sperm.

Kids, with the hostile environment of the vagina and cervix, over half the sperm die BEFORE ever entering the womb. The there are those with slow motility and such that never make it. Remember, it only takes one to make a woman pregnant (why does a gay man have to tell you all this?). If every sperm were mean to be utilized to create life, then we would have a MUCH larger planet and child rearing would be a MAJOR issue.

Personally, I shoot blanks (measles at 13). I have known it since I had measles (they did a sperm count at 13, 15, and 17 to be sure). I never worried about it. I knew I was gay long before I had measles. Long as I had cum, I didn't care what wasn't in it.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-07-21 10:44pm

Sobbastchianno wrote:Kids, with the hostile environment of the vagina and cervix, over half the sperm die BEFORE ever entering the womb. The there are those with slow motility and such that never make it. Remember, it only takes one to make a woman pregnant (why does a gay man have to tell you all this?).

If I remember the PBS stuff I saw about 10 years ago right, only about 50-100 sperm actually make it to the egg, and one of those sperm may get to fertilize it.

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2003-07-21 10:45pm

Sobbastchianno wrote: Kids, with the hostile environment of the vagina and cervix, over half the sperm die BEFORE ever entering the womb. The there are those with slow motility and such that never make it. Remember, it only takes one to make a woman pregnant (why does a gay man have to tell you all this?). If every sperm were mean to be utilized to create life, then we would have a MUCH larger planet and child rearing would be a MAJOR issue.

Personally, I shoot blanks (measles at 13). I have known it since I had measles (they did a sperm count at 13, 15, and 17 to be sure). I never worried about it. I knew I was gay long before I had measles. Long as I had cum, I didn't care what wasn't in it.

The vagina is the natural place for the little guys to die. It's the only way they can get to sperm heaven.

Sobbastchianno · Post by **Sobbastchianno** » 2003-07-21 10:49pm

Demiurge wrote:
Sobbastchianno wrote: Kids, with the hostile environment of the vagina and cervix, over half the sperm die BEFORE ever entering the womb. The there are those with slow motility and such that never make it. Remember, it only takes one to make a woman pregnant (why does a gay man have to tell you all this?). If every sperm were mean to be utilized to create life, then we would have a MUCH larger planet and child rearing would be a MAJOR issue.

Personally, I shoot blanks (measles at 13). I have known it since I had measles (they did a sperm count at 13, 15, and 17 to be sure). I never worried about it. I knew I was gay long before I had measles. Long as I had cum, I didn't care what wasn't in it.
The vagina is the natural place for the little guys to die. It's the only way they can get to sperm heaven.

Oy Vey, you have got to be kidding me. Sperm, going to heaven? I seriously doubt that spern, with only 1/2 the genetic code of a human, has a soul that would go to heaven. The protein does a much better job in my tummy than any place else (sorry, I coldn't resist).

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-07-21 11:30pm

Sobbastchianno wrote: The vagina is the natural place for the little guys to die. It's the only way they can get to sperm heaven.

Oy Vey, you have got to be kidding me. Sperm, going to heaven? I seriously doubt that spern, with only 1/2 the genetic code of a human, has a soul that would go to heaven. The protein does a much better job in my tummy than any place else (sorry, I coldn't resist).[/quote]

Did I need to hear this?

OTOH, at least you aren't spilling any seed...

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-07-22 12:20am

Sobbastchianno wrote:Oy Vey, you have got to be kidding me. Sperm, going to heaven? I seriously doubt that spern, with only 1/2 the genetic code of a human, has a soul that would go to heaven. The protein does a much better job in my tummy than any place else (sorry, I coldn't resist).

Yummy!!!

SECONDED!!

Sobbastchianno · Post by **Sobbastchianno** » 2003-07-22 12:21am

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:
Sobbastchianno wrote:Oy Vey, you have got to be kidding me. Sperm, going to heaven? I seriously doubt that spern, with only 1/2 the genetic code of a human, has a soul that would go to heaven. The protein does a much better job in my tummy than any place else (sorry, I coldn't resist).
Yummy!!!

SECONDED!!

Thanks Einhander. Wish you lived in Houston, Texas.

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-07-22 12:24am

Sobbastchianno wrote:
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:Yummy!!!

SECONDED!!
Thanks Einhander. Wish you lived in Houston, Texas.

Must find a girlfriend...Must find a girlfriend...Must find a girlfriend...

Sobbastchianno · Post by **Sobbastchianno** » 2003-07-22 12:25am

Vorlon1701 wrote:
Sobbastchianno wrote:
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:Yummy!!!

SECONDED!!
Thanks Einhander. Wish you lived in Houston, Texas.
Must find a girlfriend...Must find a girlfriend...Must find a girlfriend...

Sounds like a mantra to me. Trying to convince yourself? Only kidding, but you did leave yourself wide open for that one.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-07-22 12:27am

Sobbastchianno wrote:
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:
Sobbastchianno wrote:Oy Vey, you have got to be kidding me. Sperm, going to heaven? I seriously doubt that spern, with only 1/2 the genetic code of a human, has a soul that would go to heaven. The protein does a much better job in my tummy than any place else (sorry, I coldn't resist).
Yummy!!!

SECONDED!!
Thanks Einhander. Wish you lived in Houston, Texas.

New Orleans isn't that very far...

Hint Hint Hint...

EDIT: You got AIM? I'm EinhanderSn0m4n (Who woulda guessed!? LOL)

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-07-22 12:28am

Sobbastchianno wrote:
Sounds like a mantra to me. Trying to convince yourself? Only kidding, but you did leave yourself wide open for that one.

Yep, I know. I was just trying to clear my mind of the disgusting imagery of sperm writhing in agony in a bath of hydrochloric acids, their proteins used to make more sperm. Disgustingly efficient cannibalism...

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-07-22 12:29am

Vorlon1701 wrote:
Sobbastchianno wrote:
Sounds like a mantra to me. Trying to convince yourself? Only kidding, but you did leave yourself wide open for that one.
Yep, I know. I was just trying to clear my mind of the disgusting imagery of sperm writhing in agony in a bath of hydrochloric acids, their proteins used to make more sperm. Disgustingly efficient cannibalism...

But it fucking tastes good!

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-07-22 12:31am

I tried it once and found it tasted bitter.

And if there's one thing on this planet that's guaranteed to kill me, it's curiosity

Sobbastchianno · Post by **Sobbastchianno** » 2003-07-22 12:34am

Vorlon1701 wrote:I tried it once and found it tasted bitter.

And if there's one thing on this planet that's guaranteed to kill me, it's curiosity

Vorlon,

I can't believe I am going here, but here goes. The taste of a man's cum depends, for the most part, on his diet and what he has consumed in the 24 hours before ejaculation. I have tasted beer in cum (and I am a Vodka man myself, hate beer). So, if your sample tasted bitter, tell the guy to lay off the salt and the fats for 48 hours. Sugar is a good flavor enhancer.

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-07-22 12:36am

Sobbastchianno wrote:
Vorlon,

I can't believe I am going here, but here goes. The taste of a man's cum depends, for the most part, on his diet and what he has consumed in the 24 hours before ejaculation. I have tasted beer in cum (and I am a Vodka man myself, hate beer). So, if your sample tasted bitter, tell the guy to lay off the salt and the fats for 48 hours. Sugar is a good flavor enhancer.

Um....It was my own...But thanks for the advice.

Sobbastchianno · Post by **Sobbastchianno** » 2003-07-22 12:38am

Vorlon1701 wrote:
Sobbastchianno wrote:
Vorlon,

I can't believe I am going here, but here goes. The taste of a man's cum depends, for the most part, on his diet and what he has consumed in the 24 hours before ejaculation. I have tasted beer in cum (and I am a Vodka man myself, hate beer). So, if your sample tasted bitter, tell the guy to lay off the salt and the fats for 48 hours. Sugar is a good flavor enhancer.
Um....It was my own...But thanks for the advice.

Same applies whether it is yours or someone elses. Though, I will say it also tastes better warm, not cold of the stomach.

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-07-22 12:40am

Gandalf wrote:
Superman wrote:Hmmm, I wonder what purpose masturbatory guilt serves(d). You know? Why did mother nature decide to make some men feel guilty about it?
Something akin to a conscience possibly, thats some 400 million potential humans that will never be.

Every sperm is sacred...

DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.
I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,
Because
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.
CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.
MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.
MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.
PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!
CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!
NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.
EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!

Sorry, couldnt resist

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2003-07-22 12:42am

Vorlon1701 wrote:...

Must find a girlfriend...Must find a girlfriend...Must find a girlfriend...

That has been ringing through my head (not that one) for a while now...

Sobbastchianno · Post by **Sobbastchianno** » 2003-07-22 12:48am

Alyrium Denryle,

That was very funny. I have actually heard that sung. It is hilarious. I don't think that consumption is a waste any more than conception is. LOL

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-07-22 12:53am

I agree.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-07-22 01:58am

I need a girlfriend too...

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-07-22 02:15am

I need 3 or 4

StarshipTitanic · Post by **StarshipTitanic** » 2003-07-22 02:21am

I'd prefer a harem.

And an empire to go with it.

Sobbastchianno · Post by **Sobbastchianno** » 2003-07-22 02:28am

I wouldn't mind the empire, but give me whatever the male version of a harem is (I don't know the word for it). I guess my friends are right, I am a slut (or at least, I have the propensity to be).