Look for my posts obviously.
I present part 4:
Citizen Picards Log, stardate 352835. 2624382 - 352.
Commander Riker and the other senior officers are preparing to beam over to Darth Vaders Star Destroyer to view the dissection of Wesley Crusher. Beverly Crusher has been vaporized when Data hid her unconcious body in the Warp Core. This is the largest disappointment for me, I was going to ask her out on Friday night.
(Transporter room)
Data: Energize.
Transporter: Bzzzzzzzmmmmmm.......
(ISD's Bridge)
*Data and crew beams in*
Darth: Welcome to my ship! Where is Commander Riker?
Data: Oh, he'll be over in a bit, he's just sleeping off my fish paste remedy.
Darth: I see.... Well allow me to introduce my command staff. This is Commander Expendable, first name Very.
Expendable: Nice to meet you - ARRRRRGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Darth: Bugger. That console's electrical cable has always been loose.
Data: Fascinating.
Darth: Anyway, this is Lt. Stevens, Lt. Stevens and Ensign Stevens.
Data: They all have the same names?
Darth: Yes, they are promoted stormtroopers.
Worf: Stormtroopers?
Darth: Yes, our main cannon fodder, they are clones.
Data: I see.
Darth: This way to the surgery theatre gentlemen.
(In surgery theatre, a large comfortable room with a big window showing the surgery area, with Wesley strapped to an operating table)
Darth: Please sit down, snacks are on the coffee table.
Data: Thankyou.
Darth: Now, we must wake him for the extraction. (Through microphone) Wake him!
Nurse: Yes sir. *Nurses inject Wesley with stimulant, he wakes up instantly*
Wesley: Wa - Where-- Where am I?
Darth: On my ship Mr Crusher, about to have your brain removed.
Wesley: But WHY!!?
Darth: Commander Riker offered your brain to us for our robots.
Wesley: No! No! I dont believe it!
Darth: Its true!
Wesley: I dont believe you're my father!!!
Darth: Eh?
Wesley: Oh sorry, I was watching Star Wars this morning.
Darth: That sounds like a dumb name for a show. Get ready to operate!
Wesley: No please! Let me speak to Riker!
Data: He's not here, I am the senior officer.
Wesley: Data please, don't do this! I've helped the Enterprise, I've improved her systems! I've been cute in perilous situations! I've been confused about growing up to give plot lines! I havent mentioned puberty once, to conform with censorship! Please spare me!!
Data: I am sorry Wesley, but we all hate you.
Wesley: No! Please!
Data: You may begin the surgery.
*Surgeon moves laser scalpel towards Wesley's head, Wesley is screaming and squirming*
Data: Wait!
Wesley: Oh Data! I knew you'd save me!
Data: Not really, I forgot to tell you that I killed your mother. Continue the surgery.
Wesley: WHAT!!?!
*Scalpel hits his head, blood goes everywhere in between Wesley's girly screams*
Worf: Pass the popcorn.
( 2 hours later )
Worf: (walking out of theatre) Well, that was fun.
Data: Quite entertaining. What did you think Geordi?
Geordi: Not bad, though i wish there was more blood.
Data: Indeed, if he was older, there would have been more.
Darth: If you would come to the robotics lab, they should have finished installing his brain into a robot.
(Robot lab)
Technician: I'm all done, just press the 'on' button there.
Darth: Good, now i'm going to kill you for no reason.
Technician: GAK!
Darth: Now - (steps over Technician's body) - we can see the results of this deal. *presses on button*
TR-889: I am TR-889. Combat droid. Ready to serve.
Darth: Not bad eh? And Wesley's irritating smarts should help this robot on the battlefield.
Geordi: You put his brain into a Combat Droid?? What if Wesley's memories resurface and he seeks revenge?
Darth: Nah, that would never happen.
TR-889: Hey, I'm Wesley! You guys killed me! I'm gonna kill you!
Darth: Darn.
Data: (eyeing Wesley's twin arm mounted blasters) Um, run.
(ISD corridor, Darth and crew and running down corridor, with laser blasts wrecking the corridor around them)
Darth: This is most embarassing, this hasnt happened before.
Data: Have you ever put human brains into robots before?
Darth: Of course we have! It must be the geekiness in him!
Data: Do you have security forces here?
Darth: ( hears screams and looks behind him ) Uh, not really.
Worf: Quick in here! *points to armoured closet*
(Everyone gets in armoured closet and shuts door)
Data: Why do you have armoured closets?
Darth: Damn space moths. They can swallow clothes whole.
Wesley: (from outside) Grrr, where'd they go? Fine, If I cant hurt them I'll hurt their ship!!
(ISD Bridge)
Lt. Stevens: Sir, there is a homocidal robot coming here.
Lt. Stevens: Really? Where is - (Stevens is shot from behind)
Lt. Stevens: Oh dear. He will gain control of the ship! I must stop him, and avoid being shot before I finish this sent---- GAK!
(Enterprise bridge)
Lt. Replacement: Sir! The Star Destroyer is powering up weapon systems!
O' Brien: Red Alert! All hands to battlestations!
Will the adventure continue? Yes it will! Or will it?
Part 5 coming soon.........
