The Secret Gnome Revolution Has Begun!

Post by **fgalkin** » 2003-07-23 12:08am

http://www.msnbc.com/news/941384.asp?cp1=1

“We have received intelligence of an enslaved gnome at your place of residence. Whether you have come across this gentle woodland creature through deliberate actions or innocent ignorance, we care not... It is now in a better place.” A note left by a group calling itself the Gnome Liberation Organization, which has been swiping elfin lawn ornaments in Roseburg, Ore.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Brother-Captain Gaius · Post by **Brother-Captain Gaius** » 2003-07-23 12:12am

Shit, we have to move sooner than expected.

Mike-2-4 to all November elements, you may fire at will, I say again, fire at will!

*sound of Apaches and Kiowas firing Hellfire Is/IIs against gnomes*

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-07-23 12:20am

Jesus shit, this is like Kettch becoming real.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-07-23 12:20am

So, what is being done to resist this gnome revolution. I'm sure a war might erupt, alliances with non-related organizations will form, and lots of spam will result.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-07-23 12:25am

31it3 sp@/\/\/\/\3r darthdavid r3p0rting f0r s3r\/ic3 *salutes*

Brother-Captain Gaius · Post by **Brother-Captain Gaius** » 2003-07-23 12:27am

darthdavid wrote:31it3 sp@/\/\/\/\3r darthdavid r3p0rting f0r s3r\/ic3 *salutes*

Gah, jebus people. Despite the fact that 1337 has no real rules as such, you never, ever, ever spell elite any other way than "31337" or "1337".

Post by **fgalkin** » 2003-07-23 12:31am

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
ROSEBURG, Ore. -- Gnome owners beware.

A group calling themselves the "Gnome Liberation Organization" has been swiping the elfin lawn ornaments all over the Roseburg area.

Effie Hagedorn discovered her gnome was missing on Monday. A note from the "GLO" was left on her porch.

"We have received intelligence of an enslaved gnome at your place of residence," the note said. "Whether you have come across this gentle woodland creature through deliberate actions or innocent ignorance, we care not. ... It is now in a better place."

Hagedorn said her gnome was a gift from a friend and was guarding her garden. He was about a foot tall and wearing a blue jacket and a red hat. He was holding a garden trowel.

"I just figured, whimsically ... that he was helping me in my garden," she said.

Hucrest resident Mary Bjelland believes her gnome was stolen by a group of teenagers recently seen cruising her neighborhood late at night. She had purchased her gnome just 10 days before it was stolen.

"If I had known that this was something going on I wouldn't have put a gnome out there, especially a new one," Bjelland said.

Gnome thieves are apparently not limited to Roseburg. An Internet search turns up a host of sites devoted to freeing the porcelain creatures.

The GLO note left at Bjelland's home read: "We hope that you will aid us in our quest to dispel the common myth that gnomes are simply inanimate yard decorations."

It doesn't matter that the thefts are lighthearted pranks, said Roseburg Police Sgt. Mark Nickel.

"Kids do silly things," said Roseburg Police Department Sgt. Mark Nickel. But "if it's a theft, we treat it as a theft, funny or not."

However, Nickel said, in these cases "usually their intent is not to permanently deprive the person" of the gnome, in which case a charge of criminal mischief is more likely.

http://news.theolympian.com/PalmNews/20 ... 50371.html

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Post by **fgalkin** » 2003-07-23 12:58am

http://www.freethegnomes.com/

This gets wierder and wierder.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-07-23 12:59am

I told ya'll, this thing was gonna be big. Us Gnomes aren't gonna be treated as second-class citizens for much longer. Regulating us to front yards with no pay, food, or water, forced to scour the back alleys just to survive. Its tiem we fought back! The Revolution just isn't in the trenches of the TGODs; its in your neighbors lawn, your knick-knack shops inventory stash, a plotting usergroup of SD.Net, all over the world the Gnomes are striking back. Finally, we've hit the big time.

The Revolution is upon ye humans. We cannot be stopped. Ph34r

DINK DINK! HAIL GNOMAGE!

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2003-07-23 01:20am

This revolution will be televised.

Because the Black Mages are in position, holding cameras, and smiling.

You may rise up if you must, Gnomes. Stepladders are cheap. But cross even one BM, and you will feel my wrath.

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2003-07-23 01:37am

Assemble the League of Extradordinary Gnome Hunters!

Darth Fanboy! The Lethal Leader and his Boat Oar!

Cthulhu! Because Gnomes are Bite Sized!

J.S Giguere! Conn Smythe is Canadian for "Die GNOME"

HAHAHAHA!

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-07-23 01:39am

Darth Fanboy wrote:Assemble the League of Extradordinary Gnome Hunters!

Darth Fanboy! The Lethal Leader and his Boat Oar!
Cthulhu! Because Gnomes are Bite Sized!
J.S Giguere! Conn Smythe is Canadian for "Die GNOME"
HAHAHAHA!

*Hasek appears, the Gnome Hunters cower*

FaxModem1 · Post by **FaxModem1** » 2003-07-23 01:55am

What in the world? This is the weirdest prank I have ever seen.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-07-23 01:56am

FaxModem1 wrote:What in the world? This is the weirdest prank I have ever seen.

Prank? That is no prank my friend. It's righteousness, pure and simple.

FaxModem1 · Post by **FaxModem1** » 2003-07-23 02:06am

Well, if this is on MSNBC, geez, this is just plain weird, I've never seen a real gnome, and until I do, I still think this is a prank.

FireNexus · Post by **FireNexus** » 2003-07-23 02:16am

The gnomes will fall! My invasion of your subterranean fortress was foiled once, but beware, foul creatures, I will return! When I do, you shall fall before my might!

I am gathering my forces and preparing for an assault. Beware. Your doomsday is at hand!

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2003-07-23 03:23am

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:*Hasek appears, the Gnome Hunters cower*

Excuse Me? Dominik Hasek is old enough to be my Grandpa and IS not the savior you have made him out to be.

*Giguerre Squishes Gnome*

The Red Wings lost in the playoffs NOT BECausE OF CUJO! Get that stupid idea out of your head, they COULDN'T SCORE! Hard to win games no matter how good your goalie is if your shots arent getting past the other guy!

*Cthulhu Eats Gnomes, licks fingers and tentacles*

BY the way, he is pissed that a Detroit fan threw his cousin otno the ice at a game and he now plans to messily devour all gnomes and red wings fans. He says that Gnomes taste like Jalapeno Poppers, but not a strong.

*Fanboy brtually decapitates gnomes with boat oar*

Face it, its Gnome haters like me keep your revolution one of those "Secret Revolutions"

By the way, let me introduce you to the fourth member of our team.

*Sergei Federov enters, begins slap shooting gnomes all the way from Motown to Disneyland.*

HAHA!

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-07-23 03:38am

Darth Fanboy wrote:Excuse Me? Dominik Hasek is old enough to be my Grandpa and IS not the savior you have made him out to be.

Ahem...*points to 2002 Stanley Cup*

*Giguerre Squishes Gnome*

*Or at least he tried, but his attack was stopped twenty feet away from the goal by Hasek. The Ducks try to call for a Delay fo Game, and fail to receive it*

The Red Wings lost in the playoffs NOT BECausE OF CUJO! Get that stupid idea out of your head, they COULDN'T SCORE! Hard to win games no matter how good your goalie is if your shots arent getting past the other guy!

Giguerre is good, I'll grant you that, but had Hasek been there--and he is now fools!--the Ducks woulda been tough outta luck when it came to scoring too.

*Cthulhu Eats Gnomes, licks fingers and tentacles*

*The Big Gnome then proceeds to fall on Cthulhu, squishing him indefinately*

*Fanboy brtually decapitates gnomes with boat oar*

*Here comes Lindstrom on defense...he's intecepting the attack--is this a rule violation, using boat oars to attack, Sheesh--OHH! Deflected in a beautiful play by #5, Nicklas Lindstrom.

Face it, its Gnome haters like me keep your revolution one of those "Secret Revolutions"

Eh? The Gnome Revoltuion isn't really secret anymore. This thread is evidence of it!

By the way, let me introduce you to the fourth member of our team.

*Sergei Federov enters, begins slap shooting gnomes all the way from Motown to Disneyland.*

Bah humbug.

*Holmstrom, McCarty, Maltby--The Wrecking Crew--appear and check the TRAITORS brains into next week. By the time they're finished with the brutal slaughter, there's nothing left of the poor shmoe*

Drewcifer · Post by **Drewcifer** » 2003-07-23 03:47am

I needed that

Admiral Johnason · Post by **Admiral Johnason** » 2003-07-23 03:54am

On board my Ohio:

Activate launch sequnce, prep birds for flight, and prepare target quardents. Inform HAB command that we are ready to fire.

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2003-07-23 04:00am

*BOMP* *bomp*

What the? Damn, can't these damned gnomes keep away from under my car's tires?

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2003-07-23 04:27am

Haha! The League has bought time for the HAB to bring in the big guns, gentlemen lets go back to the Pond and see If I can't beat someone into giving me season tickets for the best team in the West.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-07-23 05:06am

Darth Fanboy wrote:Assemble the League of Extradordinary Gnome Hunters!

Darth Fanboy! The Lethal Leader and his Boat Oar!

Cthulhu! Because Gnomes are Bite Sized!

J.S Giguere! Conn Smythe is Canadian for "Die GNOME"

I'll tag along, I'm quick with a staff, and if that fails I've got napalm.

Gnomes are goin' down...

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2003-07-23 05:20am

Heh. Weird.

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » 2003-07-23 07:52am

out of th blue, dozens of Gnomes fitted inside submarines, sacrifice themselves to stop the Ohios plan.