The Secret Gnome Revolution Has Begun!

OT: anything goes!

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Col. Crackpot
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Post by Col. Crackpot »

Image

*deploys a dozen 100MT Soviet Tsar Bomba Thermonuclear warheads on Gnomish Positions

eat this gnomes! bwo-hahahahaha! Dons a cowboy hat and sits atop bomb

Image
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Post by Ace Pace »

Dozens of Gnomes led by Ace, scramble on top of Col. Crackpot Gnawng away at his feet, trying. reaching the bomb switch
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Col. Crackpot
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Post by Col. Crackpot »

Ace Pace wrote:Dozens of Gnomes led by Ace, scramble on top of Col. Crackpot Gnawng away at his feet, trying. reaching the bomb switch
UNLEASH THE TGOD!

The gnomes discover the image of the colonel is just that...an image. they discover too late as they, and everything within 20 kilometers are immoliated in a flash of thermonulear hellfire.
"This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.” -Tom Clancy
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Post by Ace Pace »

Ace Megaphones to all gnome forces " it is the time when all must be sacrificed, UNLEASH YOUR FURY GNOMES! HAIL GNOMAGE!"

around him thousands and thousands of gnomes pick up arms and dissapear with the aid of the Gnomish Patented Clocking devices.

EDIT: hmnn, wheres HAB?
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Col. Crackpot
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Post by Col. Crackpot »

Ace Pace wrote:Ace Megaphones to all gnome forces " it is the time when all must be sacrificed, UNLEASH YOUR FURY GNOMES! HAIL GNOMAGE!"

around him thousands and thousands of gnomes pick up arms and dissapear with the aid of the Gnomish Patented Clocking devices.

EDIT: hmnn, wheres HAB?
HAB autodefense system and CGT scanning array activated. Gnomes detected, dispensing napalm. gnomes reduced to liquid state. Autodefense standing down. scanners remaining active.
"This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.” -Tom Clancy
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Post by Ace Pace »

Col. Crackpot wrote:
HAB autodefense system and CGT scanning array activated. Gnomes detected, dispensing napalm. gnomes reduced to liquid state. Autodefense standing down. scanners remaining active.

and even more Gnomes arrive, overwhelming the HAB defense system, sneaking into wiring, and destorying machinery.

1 Gnome reachs the control center, and deactivates the system, instantly thousands of Gnomes flood the area.
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Post by Darksider »

:::::: Deep within my hidden fortress:::::


::::Advisor walks over and wakes me up::::::

Advisor: Sir, the Gnomes are at it again.

ME: What??? dammit, i thought we were done with this crap.

how many troops do we have left after our last battle with the Gnomes???

Advisor: Not enough to take them on directly, but if we help out one of the other anti-gnome groups such as the HAB or the Black Mages we may be able to score a few victories.


ME: Assemble all available attack devisions and prepare the new anti-gnomium weapons


Advisor: Yes m'lord.
And this is why you don't watch anything produced by Ronald D. Moore after he had his brain surgically removed and replaced with a bag of elephant semen.-Gramzamber, on why Caprica sucks
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Post by Ace Pace »

Gnomes Rapidly Fortify their position with all possible shields, from Anti-Nukes to Clocking shields, and even some character shields.

Ace Survey's their position, and implements plans to build gigantic railguns to cover all sides
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Post by Col. Crackpot »

:::flash traffic to the HAB sector command center:::

alert: tertiary control tower for secondary autodefense command system for sector sigma-zeta-6 offline. re rerouting control functions. dispatching heavy armor and air units. weapons free. NBC weapons free. eliminate gnome infestation with extreme predjudice. Standing by to alert GREAT LEADER if situation escalates.
Last edited by Col. Crackpot on 2003-07-23 10:15am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Darksider »

::::: walks onto a transport wearing battle armor::::


Whats the sitrep???

Advisor: The Gnomes are fortifying theri positions and assaulting the HAB.

ME: Contact the HAB, find out if they require assistance, and launch all available devisions at once.


::::::: Troop transports stream out of bays on my hidden asteroid base and cruisers and destroyers prepare for combat::::
And this is why you don't watch anything produced by Ronald D. Moore after he had his brain surgically removed and replaced with a bag of elephant semen.-Gramzamber, on why Caprica sucks
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Post by Ace Pace »

Col. Crackpot wrote::::flash traffic to the HAB sector command center:::

alert: tertiary control tower for secondary autodefense command system for sector sigma-zeta-6 offline. re rerouting control functions. dispatching heavy armor and air units. weapons free. NBC weapons free. eliminate gnome infestation with extreme predjudice. Standing by to alert GREAT LEADER if situation escalates.

All gnomes suit up with NBC masks, giant boom boxes play out the impiriel march
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Post by Col. Crackpot »

Ace Pace wrote:Gnomes Rapidly Fortify their position with all possible shields, from Anti-Nukes to Clocking shields, and even some character shields.

Ace Survey's their position, and implements plans to build gigantic railguns to cover all sides
:::alert:::
hypervelocity railguns detected! deploy EMP shockwave.....initiating....pulse deployed....scanning...scanning....railgun signatures no longer detected.
"This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.” -Tom Clancy
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Post by Ace Pace »

More gnomes arrive, bringing the count to 1 million gnomes, mostly of the garden variety, they began to spread out to sector Sigma-Zeta-5 and -4 , destorying emplacments as they go.
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Post by Darksider »

Ace Pace wrote:More gnomes arrive, bringing the count to 1 million gnomes, mostly of the garden variety, they began to spread out to sector Sigma-Zeta-5 and -4 , destorying emplacments as they go.

:::The transports arrive above the Gnomish forces, opening fire with particle cannons and missile launchers, they then land and begin deploying infantry and armored units:::::
And this is why you don't watch anything produced by Ronald D. Moore after he had his brain surgically removed and replaced with a bag of elephant semen.-Gramzamber, on why Caprica sucks
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Post by Ace Pace »

Col. Crackpot wrote:
:::alert:::
hypervelocity railguns detected! deploy EMP shockwave.....initiating....pulse deployed....scanning...scanning....railgun signatures no longer detected.
BHG's are set up, and start launching Quantum Singularities, HAB forces get eaten up into Black holes
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Post by Ace Pace »

Darksider wrote:
Ace Pace wrote:More gnomes arrive, bringing the count to 1 million gnomes, mostly of the garden variety, they began to spread out to sector Sigma-Zeta-5 and -4 , destorying emplacments as they go.

:::The transports arrive above the Gnomish forces, opening fire with particle cannons and missile launchers, they then land and begin deploying infantry and armored units:::::

SAM units open fire, and Gnomish forces advance as a wave, resembling the Russian tide, the transport's, hit from SAM missles holding AM charges, explode, shattering the area with fragments.
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Post by Agent Fisher »

Fisher after having been alerted to the battle calls in all gnome and human commandos.
Fisher:: After the HAB and the BMs found out about our real revolution they declared war. We have to stop them lets go.

::thousands of commandos drop in from dropships and wreak havoc upon the battlefeild. Many commandos are wounded. their kill ratio is 20:1.
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Post by Col. Crackpot »

as the fragments fall to the ground massive subterrianian magnets are activated. the shrapnel is accelerated to hypersonic speed and rains a clud of death upon the gnomish positions reducing them to a scattered pile of porcelian and terra cotta.
Last edited by Col. Crackpot on 2003-07-23 10:26am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Darksider »

Ace Pace wrote:
Darksider wrote:
Ace Pace wrote:More gnomes arrive, bringing the count to 1 million gnomes, mostly of the garden variety, they began to spread out to sector Sigma-Zeta-5 and -4 , destorying emplacments as they go.

:::The transports arrive above the Gnomish forces, opening fire with particle cannons and missile launchers, they then land and begin deploying infantry and armored units:::::

SAM units open fire, and Gnomish forces advance as a wave, resembling the Russian tide, the transport's, hit from SAM missles holding AM charges, explode, shattering the area with fragments.

The transports shields flare up, and save the majority of the attack divisions and the remaining transports continue to deploy troops who open fire on the gnomes. In orbit, the fleet emerges from hyperspace and deploys fighters and bombers to harrass the Gnomish forces.
And this is why you don't watch anything produced by Ronald D. Moore after he had his brain surgically removed and replaced with a bag of elephant semen.-Gramzamber, on why Caprica sucks
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Post by Ace Pace »

Another Establishment of Gnomes arrive, with a thousand armoured gnomes, all fitted with particle cannons, and begen assaulting HAB.
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Post by Ace Pace »

Darksider wrote:




The transports shields flare up, and save the majority of the attack divisions and the remaining transports continue to deploy troops who open fire on the gnomes. In orbit, the fleet emerges from hyperspace and deploys fighters and bombers to harrass the Gnomish forces.

Silly me, "OPEN FIRE WITH ALL BLACK HOLE GENERATORS"

the transports dissapear with a puff of a singularity.

Above, a transmission is sent out, and the Gnomish Armade appears, it immidietly shoots down fighters and bombers, while launching its own.

Ace Mumbles : if only I could get some proper air support...
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Post by Ace Pace »

Col. Crackpot wrote:as the fragments fall to the ground massive subterrianian magnets are activated. the shrapnel is accelerated to hypersonic speed and rains a clud of death upon the gnomish positions reducing them to a scattered pile of porcelian and terra cotta.
half way, shields seem to brink into existence, stopping the deadly sharpnel, and dissapparating it.
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Post by Col. Crackpot »

awash in the glow of harmless particles the local HAB sub-command center for the sigma-zeta oversector of planet eastchuckafuck prime stand firm. Plasma weapon emplacements now fully charged depoy there firey balls of death. flaming gnomes drop there shovels and hats and run off screeching like impaled pigs.
"This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.” -Tom Clancy
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Post by Darksider »

Ace Pace wrote:
Darksider wrote:




The transports shields flare up, and save the majority of the attack divisions and the remaining transports continue to deploy troops who open fire on the gnomes. In orbit, the fleet emerges from hyperspace and deploys fighters and bombers to harrass the Gnomish forces.

Silly me, "OPEN FIRE WITH ALL BLACK HOLE GENERATORS"

the transports dissapear with a puff of a singularity.

Above, a transmission is sent out, and the Gnomish Armade appears, it immidietly shoots down fighters and bombers, while launching its own.

Ace Mumbles : if only I could get some proper air support...


::::: The transports use their hyperdrives to escape the singularity, and then turn around to continue landing more troops as the fleet turns to engage the Gnomish armada::::

::::On the ground, artillary shells start hammering into the Gnomish advance, inflicting heavy casualties as the infantry and tanks rush foreward to engage the Gnomes:::::
And this is why you don't watch anything produced by Ronald D. Moore after he had his brain surgically removed and replaced with a bag of elephant semen.-Gramzamber, on why Caprica sucks
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Post by Ace Pace »

Col. Crackpot wrote:awash in the glow of harmless particles the local HAB sub-command center for the sigma-zeta oversector of planet eastchuckafuck prime stand firm. Plasma weapon emplacements now fully charged depoy there firey balls of death. flaming gnomes drop there shovels and hats and run off screeching like impaled pigs.
Gnomish fighters appear, dropping massive charges onto the HAB positions, and eliminating them.

the Gnomes CHEER
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