RadiO wrote:Pearl Harbor. Three hours of my life I'm never getting back.
They go to New York and Ben Affleck gets on a train... to go to England.
I'm sure there's an explanation for that, but I don't really care because it was the one entertaining thing in the movie.
Haha, you watched pearl harbor like you didn't know what was going to happen
It jumped randomly from scene to scene, with little or no cohesion.
Made no sense.
Was hilarious, in the theater, because all my friends and I began mocking it by pointing out flaws such as "Ye Olde Linoleum Flooring," "Cut the rope, dumbasses, not him," and "Sacre bleu. Zey are leaving our jurisdictional area. Now we won't be able to prosecute them."
Made no sense.
Butchered a classic book.
Made no sense.
Involved the worst shooting scene in the history of the Earth.
Made no sense.
Was visually a piece of crap, with the "impressive" sword fighting poorly lit and random.
Made no sense.
Was hilarious when viewed as a complete work, instead of a set of scenes. For example, did the old guy teach D'Atagnon's father to "live" by beating people senseless for insulting his horse?
And did I mention that it made no sense?
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aphexmonster wrote:
Haha, you watched pearl harbor like you didn't know what was going to happen
I knew it was going to be a bad, bad movie. I just didn't expect it to be quite so monsterously, cock-destroyingly awful.
Let's see:
GOOD
If I'm pushed, the Arizona explosion. Much as it pains me to rate an event that in RL killed thousands of sailors as an entertaining spectacle, this was one of the most jaw-dropping visual effects I've ever seen.
And the bullshit with the train that seemingly goes to the UK. Via Greenland?
BAD
Everything else.
And I mean everything.
"Oh, a lesson in not changing history from Mr I'm-My-Own-Grandpa! Let's get the hell out of here already! Screw history!" - Professor Farnsworth
dont know if anyone named this one yet, but what about the fantastic four movie. god awful movie. for anyone that has seen it, sorry i reminded you about it. for anyway that hasnt seen it, stay away. for the love of god, stay away.
Bungeeeeeee!!! Nooooooooo!!!
Oh no, sweetie. I don't think you're a whore....whores actually charge money.
Darth Wong wrote:Leviathan. Generic horror movie until the end, which was the most awful tacked-on ending for a horror movie that I've ever seen.
Deep Star Six -- Same basic movie as Leviathan except the monster is a giant crustacean. It came out a few months before Leviathan.
Red Sonja -- I actually kind of like this movie now but it was the first movie that I was ever pissed about spending money to go see it in the theater. Brigitte Nielson and Sandal Bergman were both soooo horrible in that film. At that time Arnold should not have been the best actor in the movie.
The Terror Within -- I don't think this movie goes by this name anymore but the premise was that it was after a nuclear war. The main characters were a group of people who were considering leaving their underground bunker. Unfortunatley, on the surface there were these creatures they called Gargoyles (actually they were mutated humans) that reproduced by raping human women.
King Kong Lives -- Totally stupid just because of the premise of making a humorous King Kong movie on purpose!.
Kong gets a giant artificial heart. Giant Ape girlfriend for Kong. Linda Hamilton (I think that everything she's been in that didn't have Terminator or Beast in the title has sucked royal ass). Junior Kong who is only human sized when he's born (really proportional to a 50ft ape).
The movie did have some interesting effects of Kong walking like a gorilla (which cosidering it was all a guy in a suit was actually pretty good). The only scene I really liked was when Kong was fighting the army at the end and pounded the villian into the ground with his fist.
By the pricking of my thumb,
Something wicked this way comes.
Open, locks,
Whoever knocks.
Darth Wong wrote:If we restrict ourselves to big-budget, big-name theatrical-release movies instead of small-potatoes shit, I vote for:
RAMBO 3!!!
Seriously, that was just awful. Watching it was an experience in masochism; it felt like somebody punched my brain.
What's not to like. There's a super buff Stallone even though he's been living in Afghanistan for awhile. There is a cool stick fight and then everything goes really down hill. My favorite part would have to be tank -- helicopter chicken. Now wasn't that a great scene?
By the pricking of my thumb,
Something wicked this way comes.
Open, locks,
Whoever knocks.
Repeated from an earlier thread. I felt no need to re-type any of it, as it's all still true.
5. Thirteen Ghosts. I could have seen Donnie Darko that weekend. In fact, if I was going to see it on the big screen, I was going to have to see it that weekend, because it came out Friday and was on its way to Blockbuster by Monday. If I hadn't caught 20 minutes of it on HBO 2 and subsequently rented the DVD, I still probably never would have heard of it. Anyway, Thirteen Ghosts starred the guy who plays Monk on A&E, who's a good actor with all the force and charisma of an old sock, which is probably why he's been hired to play a man whose afraid of sidewalk cracks now. When he tried to play a brave, dashing hero, he came off like Charlie Brown fighting the Red Baron--it just doesn't work. Shanon Elizabeth demonstrated why the second best part of her performance in American Pie was that she had very few lines (we all know what the best part was). We got to see the ghosts in strobe-lit, two second MTV cuts. The plot was beyond stupid. The special effects were only okay. The set design was brilliant, but if brilliant set design was all a movie needed, we'd all pay $8.00 to stand around Ikea showrooms. My girlfriend convinced me to go to this waste of cellulose, and I didn't even get laid afterwards.
4. Jurassic Park II: The first was great. The third was a fun popcorn flick, even if they killed T-Rex and had that fucking poseur Spinosaurus as the big badass. The second one stunk. Ever notice the most annoying characters never get eaten? IN JP I, it was the two whining brats. In JP III, it was Tea Leoni. In JP II, it was everybody with a speaking part except the bald British hunter guy. Nameless extras with guns get eaten while hippies armed with nothing but inner peace and respect for mother Earth beat up Velociraptors. And how did a 40 foot long, eight ton animal somehow get loose on a ship and eat the entire crew? The city of San Deigo couldn't have asked the Army to send a fucking Apache to deal with the T-Rex? No, scratch that--I was rooting for Rex. Not only was he infinitely cooler than Ian "I'm Right All Time Even Though My Theories Are Unproven Philosobabble" Malcom, hippies, corporate suits, "paleontologists" who know less about dinosaurs than I do, hippies, dumb mercenaries who don't think to shoot at attacking velociraptors, and hippies, but he was a better actor. What a turd of a movie.
3. Armageddon. It was like taking a bath in stupid. I'd come up with something clever to say here, but frankly, this movie isn't worth that kind of emotional investment. If Liv Tyler had taken her bra off, then maybe it would have had one redeeming feature. She didn't, so it didn't.
2. Battlefield Earth. John, John, John. How could you be so good in Pulp Fiction and so bad here? Oh! Wait! I got it! Quinten Tarantino is a talented writer and director. L. Ron Hubbard and Roger Christian are hacks. Poor Forrest Whittaker has the worst agent on Earth. Ghost Dog, Panic Room, and this sack of scrotum dandruff. I can't say much about how awful this movie is that other people already haven't said, but consider this: my favorite sci-fi genre is post-apocalypse. I get a thrill looking at abandoned shopping centers, and ghost towns practically make me cream my panties. Here's a movie set on an entire planet that's been depopulated, and I don't like it even a little bit. Afterwards, apparently while trying to pretend they hadn't wasted money we could have pooled for a dimebag, some filters, and a box of Twinkies, my friends tried to justify thousand year old Harriers being in perfect working order and cavemen learning how to fly them and slaughtering alien fighters like Predator in a quadripelegic ward, when trained Harrier pilots couldn't do it with 20 year old Harriers a thousand years prior. I explained, politely yet firmly, that they were stupid for trying. I didn't get many arguments.
1. Grease. I'm violating my own rule because I never saw this in the theaters, but Jesus Q. Christ sodomizing a Mexican, I hate this movie.
Any city gets what it admires, will pay for, and, ultimately, deserves…We want and deserve tin-can architecture in a tinhorn culture. And we will probably be judged not by the monuments we build but by those we have destroyed.--Ada Louise Huxtable, "Farewell to Penn Station", New York Times editorial, 30 October 1963 X-Ray Blues
Bad Company starring Anthony Hopkins and Chris Rock is un-fucking-believably bad.
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I'm going to suggest a big-budget movie, like Mike.
I saw The Clan of the Cave Bear when I was in college. I still thank god (he does have a purpose in this case) I missed out on suffering through it in a theatre. Mind... Numbing... Ugh.
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Darth Wong wrote:If we restrict ourselves to big-budget, big-name theatrical-release movies instead of small-potatoes shit, I vote for:
RAMBO 3!!!
Seriously, that was just awful. Watching it was an experience in masochism; it felt like somebody punched my brain.
Sadly, that is one of the movies I grew up on.
Devolution is quite as natural as evolution, and may be just as pleasing, or even a good deal more pleasing, to God. If the average man is made in God's image, then a man such as Beethoven or Aristotle is plainly superior to God, and so God may be jealous of him, and eager to see his superiority perish with his bodily frame.
I would like to triple my vote for Grease. I had to watch this sack of shit on a three-hour busride to Baltimore, with the entire fucking bus up in arms about it.
There's no plot! There's no point! There's no good acting, period! I mean, sure, lots of movies glorify violence, sex, and law-breaking, but lots of movies don't suck ass either, and most movies which glorify violence, sex, and and law-breaking aren't fucking musicals.
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The Phantom Menace. I would watch any of these other movies listed (and have) in their entirety several times but have now restricted to watching only the end lightsaber duel.
Wherever you go, there you are.
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Enigma wrote:As you would already figured out my most hated movie is "The House of a 1000 Corpses". It sucked so bad that it left me empty. I felt completely void of any emotion for a couple of days.
The second worst movie I've ever saw was "Along came a Spider".
I liked this movie, and these one sided polls are fucking retarded
Screw you.
I made the poll to show that I very much dislike that pathetic excuse of a movie. The only redeeming part was when the clown guy insulted the would be robbers. That's it. No story. No plot. No protagonists. Bad filming and the acting was pathetic. "The Ring" was scarier than that crappy flick.
ASVS('97)/SDN('03)
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RedImperator wrote:1. Grease. I'm violating my own rule because I never saw this in the theaters, but Jesus Q. Christ sodomizing a Mexican, I hate this movie.
You and Hemlock should check out the sequel, then. It's even better!
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Dalton wrote:For me, Battlefield Earth takes this one easily. Every single shot in the movie was at an angle. Every. Single. Shot.
And over 70% were also tinted.
Hokey masers and giant robots are no match for a good kaiju at your side, kid
Post #666: 5-24-03, 8:26 am (Hey, why not?)
Do you not believe in Thor, the Viking Thunder God? If not, then do you consider your state of disbelief in Thor to be a religion? Are you an AThorist?-Darth Wong on Atheism as a religion
Tsyroc wrote:King Kong Lives -- Totally stupid just because of the premise of making a humorous King Kong movie on purpose!.
Kong gets a giant artificial heart. Giant Ape girlfriend for Kong. Linda Hamilton (I think that everything she's been in that didn't have Terminator or Beast in the title has sucked royal ass). Junior Kong who is only human sized when he's born (really proportional to a 50ft ape).
The movie did have some interesting effects of Kong walking like a gorilla (which cosidering it was all a guy in a suit was actually pretty good). The only scene I really liked was when Kong was fighting the army at the end and pounded the villian into the ground with his fist.
Is that the film where Kong makes out while romantic music swells?
Hokey masers and giant robots are no match for a good kaiju at your side, kid
Post #666: 5-24-03, 8:26 am (Hey, why not?)
Do you not believe in Thor, the Viking Thunder God? If not, then do you consider your state of disbelief in Thor to be a religion? Are you an AThorist?-Darth Wong on Atheism as a religion
I made the poll to show that I very much dislike that pathetic excuse of a movie. The only redeeming part was when the clown guy insulted the would be robbers. That's it. No story. No plot. No protagonists. Bad filming and the acting was pathetic. "The Ring" was scarier than that crappy flick.
Rob Zombie directed this movie in the style of 70's shlock drive-in horror films and I believe he suceeded in that effort. This film was like a 2 hour Rob Zombie video, which often times are "retro". I'd say this film is for fans only.
Perhaps other "horror" films like Jeepers Creepers 2 and Fear.Com are more your style, Enigma?
Giant Ape girlfriend for Kong. Linda Hamilton (I think that everything she's been in that didn't have Terminator or Beast in the title has sucked royal ass). Junior Kong who is only human sized when he's born (really proportional to a 50ft ape). 
