A New Hope

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-07-26 12:57am

It was the third year of the millenium. Ten years after the Supreme court allowed evangelists to meet on government property. The 700 Project was a dream given form. Its goal: To chronical the idiocy and delusions that occupy the minds of those who run the 700 Club. It can be a dangerous place, but it's our last, best hope for a secular victory.

Well let's call this a kickoff.
This is a pet project I've decided to start, I will watch and note the 700 Club's main points of supreme idiocy for one week to try and attempt to find out exactly what they're paranoid about these days.
I plan on doing this tonight then updating with each new episode in the coming week.

Today's Notes:
The big story from tonights ep was France's legislation to restrict cult activities by banning the practices that net them followers: coersion, etc.
Evangelists are up in arms because the French government is targetting them on top of other cults for their prosthelytising practices. They are also worried about similar legislation being enacted in the rest of the EU, and in Asia, because of growing dislike of the mainly US based religious movement. The ban keeps churches from advertising near public schools and retirement homes. This means that aggressive prosthelytising practices can get a religion banned.
This legislation is in response to the mass suicide of a cult a few years back.
The 700 Club's lackeys were trying to play up that the French are attempting to promote a purely secular government and that this is a continuation of the French Revolution.

Well that starts it off. Questions? Comments?
Viva la Revolución

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-07-26 01:03am

I stopped caring about the evangelists and thier ass-buddies in the government. If they win and bring this country to hell (literally?) we'll learn from the mistake and lynch the fuckers.

Dark Hellion · Post by **Dark Hellion** » 2003-07-26 01:04am

This is your brain. (sex,sex,sex!food,food,food!)
This is your brain after the 700 club. (KILL ME! KILL ME! KILL ME! THE STUPID! IT BURNS!)

Any questions?

SeebianWurm · Post by **SeebianWurm** » 2003-07-26 01:11am

Dark Hellion wrote:This is your brain. (sex,sex,sex!food,food,food!)
This is your brain after the 700 club. (KILL ME! KILL ME! KILL ME! THE STUPID! IT BURNS!)

Any questions?

Why is there no sex after the 700 club?

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-07-26 01:49am

never thought I'd say this, but .. Viva la France!

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-07-26 03:43am

kojikun wrote:Viva la France!

Oui, oui!

Post by **fgalkin** » 2003-07-26 04:43am

Well, it's good to know that there is some hope left for the French. Viva la France!

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2003-07-26 02:22pm

I like to kid about the French people, but I still think they have a great country. This is one reason why.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-07-26 02:44pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:I like to kid about the French people, but I still think they have a great country.

That's how most of us feel.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-07-26 03:02pm

It's Vive, not Viva, people.

But, anyhoo, VIVE LA FRANCE!

It must be driving ole Pat absultively BATSHIT to be reduced to cult status, I really fucking dig it.

zombie84 · Post by **zombie84** » 2003-07-26 03:02pm

SeebianWurm wrote:
Dark Hellion wrote:This is your brain. (sex,sex,sex!food,food,food!)
This is your brain after the 700 club. (KILL ME! KILL ME! KILL ME! THE STUPID! IT BURNS!)

Any questions?
Why is there no sex after the 700 club?

after watching Pat Robertson for an hour its not hard to see why...

SeebianWurm · Post by **SeebianWurm** » 2003-07-26 03:51pm

zombie84 wrote:
SeebianWurm wrote:
Dark Hellion wrote:This is your brain. (sex,sex,sex!food,food,food!)
This is your brain after the 700 club. (KILL ME! KILL ME! KILL ME! THE STUPID! IT BURNS!)

Any questions?
Why is there no sex after the 700 club?
after watching Pat Robertson for an hour its not hard to see why...

It just seems like the quickest remedy.

NapoleonGH · Post by **NapoleonGH** » 2003-07-27 07:54pm

zombie84 wrote:
SeebianWurm wrote:
Dark Hellion wrote:This is your brain. (sex,sex,sex!food,food,food!)
This is your brain after the 700 club. (KILL ME! KILL ME! KILL ME! THE STUPID! IT BURNS!)

Any questions?
Why is there no sex after the 700 club?
after watching Pat Robertson for an hour its not hard to see why...

I dont know, all that religion, I want to be reminded of all the stupid rules of religion and why I dont follow them, so id want to screw, alot.

Dark Hellion · Post by **Dark Hellion** » 2003-07-27 08:22pm

How can you have sex when your in a catatonic stupor from the sheer, intense stupidity of the 700 club (unless you have a very caring girlfriend[or boyfriend if you swing that way] to do some mouth to penis resusitation first

)

zombie84 · Post by **zombie84** » 2003-07-27 11:18pm

No one is such a sexual deviant that they're able to stand seeing Pat Robertsons face for an hour and are still able to get aroused.

Tosho · Post by **Tosho** » 2003-07-28 03:03am

::Starts to sing the French National anthem::

Say what you will about France but that's a catchy tune.

"Aux armes citoyens!
Formez vos bataillons!
Marchons, marchons,
Qu'un sang impur
Abreuve nos sillons!"

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-07-28 04:22am

Tosho wrote:::Starts to sing the French National anthem::

Say what you will about France but that's a catchy tune.

"Aux armes citoyens!
Formez vos bataillons!
Marchons, marchons,
Qu'un sang impur
Abreuve nos sillons!"

What's that in Anglais?

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-07-28 04:45am

Gandalf wrote:
Tosho wrote:::Starts to sing the French National anthem::

Say what you will about France but that's a catchy tune.

"Aux armes citoyens!
Formez vos bataillons!
Marchons, marchons,
Qu'un sang impur
Abreuve nos sillons!"
What's that in Anglais?

Use Google's translater.
Tune in tomorrow night for the next entry of the 700 project.

Tosho · Post by **Tosho** » 2003-07-28 04:57am

Gandalf wrote:
Tosho wrote:::Starts to sing the French National anthem::

Say what you will about France but that's a catchy tune.

"Aux armes citoyens!
Formez vos bataillons!
Marchons, marchons,
Qu'un sang impur
Abreuve nos sillons!"
What's that in Anglais?

To arms, oh citizens!
Form up in serried ranks!
March on, march on,
May their impure blood
Flow in our fields!

Brought to you courtesy ofThe French Embassy to the U.S.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-07-28 05:01am

that gets my vote for most ironic national anthem.

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2003-07-28 09:38am

SeebianWurm wrote:
Dark Hellion wrote:This is your brain. (sex,sex,sex!food,food,food!)
This is your brain after the 700 club. (KILL ME! KILL ME! KILL ME! THE STUPID! IT BURNS!)

Any questions?
Why is there no sex after the 700 club?

I just SO have to open a strip club with the same name as them now.

Raptor 597 · Post by **Raptor 597** » 2003-07-28 11:08pm

One morning I saw the 700 Club where I book was writen that the Pagans are part of a world conspiracy. And the book's author and Lunatic Pat go to futher and extremely emphaize that the Pagan so called District Commander are all homosexuals. My intelligent thoughts were this after: .............uhhhhhhhhhhhhh...............change channel now...............

But anyway me being of French descent I say go France and Honhohonhon!

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-07-29 12:09am

Go France! Nice to see that some people are seeing these evalengelicals for what they really are, unlike our whored out government...

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-07-29 01:06am

The 700 project was our last, best hope for peace. A shining beacon in media, all alone in the night. It was the Dawn of a new enlightenment for all life, the year the great war came upon us all. Project codename: 700. The name of the place: SD.Net

This is the second edition of the great project.
Tonights ep didn't have one big story persay, but it had a bunch of little ones.
-CDC wants to do a study on smoking in the Homosexual community, and the 700 club found people(From here on out I will call them 700's) willing to fight public health studies. Their reasoning, they think that the CDC will point to Homophobia as the cause of the high amount of smoking in the Homosexual community and bring that to bear against the persecution of gays and lesbians. In other words, the Homophobes doesn't want the government taking a more active role in preventing persecution of homosexuals.

-700's say the Dems are filibustering against Prolife judicial nominees out of religious bias. The Dems contend that they keep to a standard of allowing prochoice and progun contol judges in and keeping others out. The 700s say that standards excluding proLife judges equates to bias against the highly religious. A "jihad" against judicial nominees who are religiously pro life.
The 700's also noted that the liberal controlled media is specifically keeping away from critiquing the dems on the filibuster of jud noms. Though a dem lobbyist interviewed says that judicial filibuster has been used by both reps and dems in the past century.
"It comes down to [right to]abortion and homosexual rights."
The Dems want them in place, the 700s say that that is religious persecution.
Pat suggested that the republicans get rid of filibuster all together, as it is not a constitutional stipulation but a part of the Senate rules.
They are praying to god, yelling really, to, quote:
"Give the Republicans Courage LORD, To follow the path of JESUS!!!"
Oh and a side note this is the last day of the Operation Supreme Court Justice that everybody loves.(To quote Jon Stewart "Fundamentalists calling for the downfall of Government officials.")

-Last off. The story of Lindsay Riddle, a foster child whose [real]parents who were 15 and 13, and whose foster father and his friends molested from age 4-16 or so. She turned to alcohol and drugs early in her teen years, and afterward attempted to get rid of her bad karma or however she thought of it, through crystals. After a fashion she had a vision of a demon that came from her repressed emotions in the crystal, so she threw it out and gains back her lost faith by doing what? Watching the 700 club. The jist of what she concluded was that "God loves you but wants you to be an obediant platonic love slave." I came to the conclusion that yahweh is in fact, John Norman. I mean, how can anybody doubt the crediblity of a sexually traumatized daughter of a 13 year old mother?

One last note: IDT gives a benefit to CBN viewers, in other words offers their support of CBN. I urge all IDT customers to switch to another carrier or that 1010-987 thing.
Oh and other viewers may have noticed Pat's tendency to gibber, well his 30-40 yo son does the same thing, it's genetic.

Stark · Post by **Stark** » 2003-07-29 01:57am

As a concerned non-American, could you explain a little more what the 700 club is? A link, thread etc would be great. They didn't really use a traumatised victim of abuse as some kind of object lesson did they?

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

A New Hope

A New Hope

Um... fill me in?