Unnamed Porno Fanfic From Shep, Falkenhorst, and Fanboy

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-06-28 02:33pm

Its back from the dead! Hide!

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-06-30 03:38am

Well, that was fucking insane. Toobad I'm gonna have to overdo the next
chapter to compensate for my absence from writing Ch 7...

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-06-30 03:42am

MKSheppard wrote:Well, that was fucking insane. Toobad I'm gonna have to overdo the next
chapter to compensate for my absence from writing Ch 7...

Good, and don’t take a month to do it.

LT.Hit-Man · Post by **LT.Hit-Man** » 2003-07-01 12:59am

Very nice Shep, Falk
Keep up the good work and if you like I have a few ideas you might like to hear about

Falkenhorst · Post by **Falkenhorst** » 2003-07-01 05:14am

hell yeah, any ideas you have, feel free to tell me. My email is metalnavy@hotmail.com, heheheheheheheh

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-07-21 03:07am

I don't know why I only decided to read it now. It's the funniest thing I've read in a long time. The death by liposuction, Palpatine's fart, the piss-mist, it's all fucking hilarious. Keep up the good work!

Ace Pace · Post by **Ace Pace** » 2003-07-21 08:54am

why did this surface?

anyway I love it.

now lets see, who do we want next....

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-07-27 08:21am

That almost made me vomit, it was so funny. The bit about "analyse Jake Sisko's Bowel movements" had my diaphragm spasming out like it'd gone crazy or something.

Although, there's more gay sex than i expected i must say. You boys getting naughty ideas working together or something?

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-07-27 10:07pm

Muwhahahaha.

Worth the wait.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-07-28 08:24am

Kuja wrote:Muwhahahaha.

Worth the wait.

But nothing's happened yet.

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2003-07-28 08:44am

This is really bizarre.

Worth reading, anyway...

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-07-28 11:20am

3rd Impact wrote: This is really bizarre. Worth reading, anyway...

Well... both Shep and Falkenhorst are bizarre, so it could eb expected that they'd write something bizzare.

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2003-07-28 03:10pm

Singular Quartet wrote:
3rd Impact wrote: This is really bizarre. Worth reading, anyway...
Well... both Shep and Falkenhorst are bizarre, so it could eb expected that they'd write something bizzare.

Good point.

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-07-28 11:20pm

Analyze Bowel Movements?

Does anyone see a double entendre in those words?

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-08-03 01:54am

Sea Skimmer wrote: Good, and don’t take a month to do it.

I took 2 months. And as a result I had to top my self......this is a very
DARK chapter.....

Unnamed Porno Fanfic Chapter 8

By MKSheppard and Col. Falkenhorst

Slowly Bashir woke up, and found that he was bound and gagged securely
to a chair in a darkened room. He tried to turn his head, but his restraints
were too tight, and the best he could do was turn his eyes left and right,
widening his field of view by a few degrees.

But he still saw nothing. Complete utter darkness.

Then out of the darkness, a pair of bright lights snapped on, half-blinding him.

A deep voice began speaking out of nowhere, and Bashir tried to turn his head
again to see who it was, but again, his restraints prevented him from doing that.

"My, My. You've been an inventive little bastard. Smuggling in Trill porno
inside those soup mix crates and reselling it to lecherous Bajorans for huge profits."

The voice paused, then continued.

"It's a damn shame that you had to go and visit your...perversions onto
those two poor boys. We had plans for you. Big plans."

Bashir tried to mutter something, but he couldn't since what appeared
to be a ball gag was in his mouth.

"There's a very good reason you can't speak. This room isn't soundproofed."
said the voice with an audible leer.

"Now, if you will look ahead, we have a surprise for you."

Bashir looked ahead, and at that moment, another pair of floodlights snapped on,
illuminating a bound and gagged Jake Sisko whimpering for no apparent reason.

"Rubber Truncheons, my dear Doctor. Perhaps you're very familiar with their
peciular effect of not brusing the skin, despite the severest beatings possible?"

At that moment, Bashir was genuinely scared, and as much as he tried to stop it,
a dark stain began to spread across his dress pants.

"Good. You're scared. We would like to introduce you to an old friend of yours,
who is quite pleased with our job offer, and has agreed to work with us from
now on. It's a shame that he was so...insistent on what he wanted if he was
to work with us. Toodle-Ooo, my dear Doctor."

Another spotlight snapped on, revealing a heavily breathing Nog, who had a brace
around his neck and a dark red line across his neck's skin, indicating some
very recent surgery there. In his hand was a rubber truncheon, and blood was
slowly dripping off it.

A grin of pure pleasure slowly spread across Nog's face and at that moment,
Bashir lost it and the dark stain spread uncontrollably, his piss dripping
down his legs and onto the metal grating where it disappeared through the cracks.

[10 Feet Below]

Benjamin Sisko was on his third glass of malt liquor of the night, when he felt something
dripping onto his head. Looking up, a drop of piss fell into his left eye, and
he clapped his hand over the eye, screaming as the acidic piss burned his eyeball.
Slapping his communicator, Sisko connected with Ops. "GODDAMNIT OBRIEN! I
THOUGHT WE HAD THE FUCKING SEWAGE SYSTEM FIXED!"

[OPS]

Miles O'Brien cursed. Fuck, another good night at Quarks was shot down before it
had even begun. Now he was going to have to spend his night checking the sewage lines
for leaks, and that involved crawling through the Bilges of the station.

Fuck.

At least Keiko's black eye had healed by now, he thought with an evil grin as
he grabbed his tools.

[Above Quark's - in the Secret room]

"Hello, my dear Doctor," whispered Nog as he walked over to Bashir and slowly caressed
the doctor's ear with the tip of the truncheon. "I remember when you would come by
at night after everyone was in their quarters for the night, and you would rape me,
and force me to eat your shit. Well, now the shoe is on the other foot, bitch!"

With that, Nog struck Bashir so hard, with so much force, that Bashir's right eyeball
ruptured and hung out of its socket by the optic nerve.

Bashir tried screaming in pain, but the gag stopped all sound and the best he did was
to shred his vocal chords in the process.

Nog leaned over to the dangling eyeball, and slowly grasped it with his sharpened
teeth and RIPPED it out completely, severing the optic nerve, and causing even more
pain to Bashir.

[In One of Quark's former secret compartments for smuggling]

Sheppard and Falkenhorst were watching the brutal display with dispassionate interest.

"Jeez, this guy's a brutal son of a bitch." muttered Sheppard.

"Yep. Be glad he's on our side." replied Falkenhorst as he took a bite out of an orange.

"Seppo, Frankie, are you sure we're getting this from all angles? This stuff will make us
millions on the Klingon snuff market." asked Sheppard.

"Yeah. We're getting it all, boss." replied Seppo as he took his eyes off the monitor and
towards a book.

[The Compartment]

As bloody goo dripped down Bashir's face from his ruined eye socket, Nog turned around
to face Jake, whose eyes were wide with fear. Nog slowly walked over to a antique wooden
case and opened it, revealing the inlaid gold stamping of a stylized "S & W" on the cover.

Reaching into the case, Nog pulled out a gleaming stainless steel revolver, with the words
"Smith & Wesson - .50 Caliber Magnum" inscribed on it's barrel.

Walking over to Jake, he held the massive gun to Jake's head, and pushed a button on the
chair, releasing Jake's restraints.

"Get up."

Slowly, Jake stood up, albeit unsteadily on weak knees from the brutal beating Nog had given
him a few hours ago.

"Go over to the doctor."

Jake looked at Nog with a dumbfounded look until Nog jammed the barrel of the revolver
into Jake's left nostril.

As Jake walked over to Bashir, inside the video compartment, Shep was agitating frantically.
"What the fuck? Where'd he get that fucking gun? The damn room isn't soundproofed!"

Falk took out a cigarette and lit it, and took a deep drag, enjoying the nicotine high, before
replying to Shep.

"Whatever," and turning to Seppo and Frankie, Falk simply said; "Get ready to move."

Now that Jake was standing over Bashir. Nog simply motioned towards Bashir's crotch,
and said "Suck him off, or die."

Slowly, unsteadily, Jake unzipped Bashir's dress pants, wrinkling his nose at the
smell of acrid piss and began to go down onto the doctor. That was when Nog released
the restraints on Bashir, and before anyone could react, palmed the revolver into
Bashir's right hand, pointed it at Jake, who was giving fellatio to the doctor,
albeit unsteadily, and pulled the trigger.

The massive 440 grain .50 caliber slug, moving at 1,625 feet a second, had barely
cleared the muzzle, before it slammed into Jake's head, obliterating it in a bloody
spray of bone, blood, and brain matter. Bashir screamed as Jake's teeth slammed
shut in an involuntary muscle reflex action, severing his dick in his final death
throes.

Before the sound of the explosion had begun to fade, Nog pulled Bashir's hand up and
jammed the muzzle of the revolver into Bashir's ruined right eye socket, thumbed the
hammer, and pulled the trigger again.

[10 Feet Below]

Everyone in Quarks had started screaming and running around the moment the massive
explosion had burst forth out of nowhere when mere seconds later, a second explosion,
as loud as the first, roared forth.

In the bathroom, Sisko was draining his lizard when all of a sudden, the twin explosions
boomed loudly, causing him to bump his head against the wall and leave a massive shiner.

_What the fuck was that fucking shit?_ he thought, still momentarily deafened by the
twin blasts like everyone else in the bar.

It was then he noticed that he had sprayed piss all over his dress pants.

_Fuck._

And then something hot and warm began dripping onto his head. Looking up, he saw
a dark crimson stream of blood begin trickling down the walls from the grates above.

"Fuck me." Sisko said aloud.

[15 feet above the bathroom and in the secret compartment]

"Fuck us!" shouted Falk as he grabbed the holo tapes from the recorder, and rushed
out the door behind Seppo, Frankie, and Sheppard, followed closely by Nog, who had
bits of brain matter from both Jake and Bashir on his face, along with a bone-chilling
grin.

Ducking into a little used maintenance corridor, with all it's twists and turns,
they were sixty feet ahead of everyone when the first horrific screams and curses
began to come forth as the security personnel discovered the gruesome secret of
Dr. Bashir and his young protege, Jake.

[15 minutes later]

Everyone ducked into the little-used service airlock on the outer docking ring
that nobody used. In fact, the airlock's service records showed that the last
time it was used was during the Cardassian occupation of Bajor, and that was for
spacing people the Obsidian Order had no need of anymore.

"Why the FUCK did you do that fucking shit?" snapped Shep, as he glared angrily
at Nog, who was still grinning.

"You said I could get even with them," replied Nog, slowly licking the brain matter
off his sharpened teeth.

"Well, yeah, there is that." conceeded Shep, "But goddamnit, did you have to be
so fucking brazen as that? You knew it was an unsoundproofed room!"

Nog simply shrugged. Falk then interrupted. "Either way, we got some WICKED footage,
this shit is going to gurantee us a twenty percent share of the Klingon snuff
market at the least!"

Everyone laughed at that, then Sheppard simply said what everyone was feeling; "Let's book."

With that, the small group of Porn Lords, Muscle, and Insane Psychopaths stepped through the
airlock and into their stealthed shuttle, which would take them to their stolen Klingon
battlecruiser lying under cloak in the outer edges of the Bajoran system.

[That night]

Sisko had locked himself into his quarters, and using his Station's commander's override,
had programmed his personal replicator to produce unlimited quantities of malt liquor.

With teary eyes, he looked at the crime scene holographs of his son, his beautiful only
son, having been killed in a brutal sado-machoist sex act by that fucking pervert Bashir.

Life wasn't worth living anymore, he thought. And with that, his eyes travelled across
his quarters to his personal sidearm, a modified Type II Phaser.

[NEXT CHAPTER OF UPF]

The GNOMES make an appearance!

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-08-03 02:11am

I'm wondering what crimes you could be tried for if you left a hard copy of this in a park. More fucked up then ever before. And those gnomes had better fucking die, explosive organisms perhaps.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-08-03 02:18am

Sea Skimmer wrote:I'm wondering what crimes you could be tried for if you left a hard copy of this in a park. More fucked up then ever before. .

You're making me laugh so hard I end up out of breath from your comments

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-08-03 02:44am

MKSheppard wrote:
You're making me laugh so hard I end up out of breath from your comments

That's a bit surprising. Anyway, makes sure Gnomes DIE.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-08-03 02:46am

Shep 'n Falkenhorst wrote:At least Keiko's black eye had healed by now, he thought with an evil grin as
he grabbed his tools.

Bwahahahaha!

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-08-03 02:50am

Sea Skimmer wrote:Anyway, makes sure Gnomes DIE.

Of course, mein Führer!

*clicks heel*

HEIL SKIMMER!

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-08-03 03:13am

MKSheppard wrote:
Of course, mein Führer!

*clicks heel*

HEIL SKIMMER!

*Begins considering what new grandiose title to award HAB Reich Marshal Herr Sheppard for his loyal work*

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-08-03 11:54am

Sea Skimmer wrote:
MKSheppard wrote:
You're making me laugh so hard I end up out of breath from your comments
That's a bit surprising. Anyway, makes sure Gnomes DIE.

::Sigh::

Penis envy of us gnomes again skimmer? For shame.

And shep...ffs that was vile. It's like the humour's running out and you've just "gone" crazy.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-08-03 12:22pm

Disturbing shit and hitting the border between postable and RayCav.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-08-03 12:30pm

Rye wrote: And shep...ffs that was vile. It's like the humour's running out and you've just "gone" crazy.

Be quite assured I'm still humourous. It's just that I saw no way but to resolve
the conflict between Nog/Jake/Bashir in a humorous way, and also to show
what an evil Son of a Bitch Nog has become...

Trust me, the next chapter is going to be insanely funny

LT.Hit-Man · Post by **LT.Hit-Man** » 2003-08-03 01:02pm

Excllent work Shep Falk, love what you did in the last chap of this fic