Elite US military ... butlers.

[Vympel]

Jeeves Goes to War
Why is the Pentagon sending soldiers to butler school?
By Tom Anderson
Posted Wednesday, July 2, 2003, at 2:53 PM PT

Somewhere in Iraq, a young soldier is handing his three-starred boss a bottled water on a platter, or pressing the general's uniform, or serving his dinner guests dessert—from the left side, of course.

The military has always provided personal assistants to top brass: There are 300 "enlisted aides" who cater to three- and four-star generals and admirals. But now the Air Force and Navy are sprucing up their service by enrolling some aides at the Starkey International Institute for Household Management, the country's premier school for domestic help. The Pentagon, in short, is now training butlers.

It's true that not everyone in uniform can be a special forces commando. Still, the notion of sending soldiers to butler school hearkens back to the Pentagon's bad old days of $640 toilet seats.

Mary Starkey—that's Mrs. Starkey to you—started the eponymous institute in 1989 after nine years of running a staffing business for butlers, cooks, maids, and nannies. Students live at the school's Denver mansion for anywhere from a week to two months, where they learn skills such as silver polishing, flower arrangement, and cigar etiquette, as well as household management training, according to the school's course catalog. The school has published five texts on household management and has more than 600 alumni serving in wealthy households worldwide. Starkey grads work at the White House, the Pentagon, and the vice president's residence, a school official says.

It's no surprise the military chose Starkey: Mrs. Starkey has applied robotic discipline to managing manual tasks. Her trademark "Starkey Household Management System" is a perfect cross between Jeeves and boot camp. She demands that her trainees keep meticulous records of their employers' wishes, so service is seamlessly customized. "If a household is not following a system, it's always in crisis mode," she says. Mrs. Starkey urges students to create a "service matrix," which enumerates how the tasks should be handled—from the employer's diet to the bathroom cleaning regimen.

The Army trains its own servants at its advanced culinary program at Fort Lee, Va. But the Air Force and Navy supplement their basic enlisted aide training with the butler schooling at Starkey. The Navy started at Starkey in 2000, and the Air Force sent its first troops last year. "Within Department of Defense, or the Air Force, there currently is no school to teach all aspects of household management, and Starkey International is the service industry leader in this type of training," says Air Force spokeswoman Jennifer Stephens. "In order to make best use of the tax dollar, we look to utilize existing commercial practices where nothing like it exists in the service, rather than creating those in-house."

The Starkey training does not strain the Pentagon budget. Together, the Navy and Air Force probably won't spend even $100,000 for Starkey classes this year. The Air Force plans to send a dozen students to a special one-week class at Starkey it recently developed with the school. Also, three veteran airmen will take the school's standard four-week, $6,400 course. Neither the Air Force nor Starkey will say how much the one-week course costs. The Navy Supply Systems Command in Mechanicsburg, Penn., will send 10 sailors to Starkey this fiscal year.

Mrs. Starkey, 54, will discuss the finer points of household management passionately, but won't make a peep about her military work. "We just don't talk about it in public," she said. "Our clients are confidential for security reasons." Yet Starkey's Web site says it is "the official Household Management school for the military enlisted aide program."

Starkey's military grads also are mum on the subject, citing the same preposterous security concerns. "Things are tighter than ever and security considerations are higher than ever," replied one Navy vet who trained at Starkey when asked about the school. Is he afraid Iraqis will sneak in and replace dessert forks with fish forks? Is he worried al-Qaida will booby-trap his shoe polish kit?

It's more likely that Mrs. Starkey and her military alums are silent for fear of drawing attention to what is, fundamentally, a boondoggle. In recent months, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld has been pushing for a leaner, meaner, and probably less Jeevesier military. In a June speech at the National Press Club, Rumsfeld said, "To have 320,000 military personnel doing jobs that are not military tasks is not a good thing for the department."

It's hard to imagine that Rumsfeld believes that planning a formal dinner party is a "military task." He could—and he should—stop the Starkey training tomorrow. But, oh, how the generals would complain! After all, where else can you find good help these days?

[The Duchess of Zeon]

Officers should have a permanent assigned butler from the beginning of West Point to their retirement. It would let them concentrate on being officers.

[Posbi]

Well, it would definately add a sense of style to the job, even though it might look snobbishly 19th century-like.

[Col. Crackpot]

Isn't that what we have the British for?

[Companion Cube]

"Drop and give me twent-on second thought, just polish my boots."

[SirNitram]

You know, this isn't a bad idea; there are many things in an Officer's life that would simply detract from them doing their duties. You've trained a guy to command troops and respond to situations, not do all the grunt work that comes from being in the military. So, I do agree with the idea of Enlisted Aides, and I see no problem with them being trained to be good Enlisted Aides.

Now, what I think would kick ass is if the Enlisted Aides were Marines with the full training of a Marine and then their speciality was being an Aide. Not only do you instantly have a trained rifleman on call with the Brass, you have a butler who can kill a man.

[Vendetta]

You know, this isn't a bad idea; there are many things in an Officer's life that would simply detract from them doing their duties. You've trained a guy to command troops and respond to situations, not do all the grunt work that comes from being in the military. So, I do agree with the idea of Enlisted Aides, and I see no problem with them being trained to be good Enlisted Aides.

Now, what I think would kick ass is if the Enlisted Aides were Marines with the full training of a Marine and then their speciality was being an Aide. Not only do you instantly have a trained rifleman on call with the Brass, you have a butler who can kill a man.

Doesn't that kind of thing usually require you to be living in a Steven Segal movie?

[Col. Crackpot]

Doesn't that kind of thing usually require you to be living in a Steven Segal movie?

Yeoman, when you finish shining my shoes, go overthrow the goverment in Bulgaria.

[RogueIce]

Doesn't that kind of thing usually require you to be living in a Steven Segal movie?

Yeoman, when you finish shining my shoes, go overthrow the goverment in Bulgaria.

Aye aye, sir. *salutes*

[Sea Skimmer]

Now, what I think would kick ass is if the Enlisted Aides were Marines with the full training of a Marine and then their speciality was being an Aide. Not only do you instantly have a trained rifleman on call with the Brass, you have a butler who can kill a man.

I'm fairly sure both the US Army and USMC initially train all rear area personal as infantry. Keeping up that level of training would be more difficult, being a solider is a full time job after all and this aid is spending his or her time being an aid.

[jegs2]

Officers should have a permanent assigned butler from the beginning of West Point to their retirement. It would let them concentrate on being officers.

No thanks.

[Howedar]

Now, what I think would kick ass is if the Enlisted Aides were Marines with the full training of a Marine and then their speciality was being an Aide. Not only do you instantly have a trained rifleman on call with the Brass, you have a butler who can kill a man.

I'm fairly sure both the US Army and USMC initially train all rear area personal as infantry. Keeping up that level of training would be more difficult, being a solider is a full time job after all and this aid is spending his or her time being an aid.

In the Corps, everyone goes to basic infantry school. Pilots, vehicle crews, everything. Then you go on to more specialized training, if any.

[Sea Skimmer]

In the Corps, everyone goes to basic infantry school. Pilots, vehicle crews, everything. Then you go on to more specialized training, if any.

I knew that was the case with the USMC, but I'm not so sure about the army. I know drivers and low level staffs are trained as infantry but I'm not sure if its a blanket requirement for all personal. Probably is though.

[Howedar]

Everybody goes through basic, which has a certain level of infantry training. I think those that actually go into the infantry go to a secondary infantry school after basic, while others do not.

[Oberleutnant]

How long is this basic course?

[Wicked Pilot]

Officers should have a permanent assigned butler from the beginning of West Point to their retirement. It would let them concentrate on being officers.

No thanks.

Speak for yourself Captain.

[Enforcer Talen]

hehe, Id love to have a butler when I make officer.

[The Duchess of Zeon]

No thanks.

Well, I confess it was a half-formed thought at the time and simple duty assignments are (obviously) more sensible.

But are you referring to the entire concept, at that?

[Stuart Mackey]

Officers should have a permanent assigned butler from the beginning of West Point to their retirement. It would let them concentrate on being officers.

I do hope you are joking?

[Stuart Mackey]

Everybody goes through basic, which has a certain level of infantry training. I think those that actually go into the infantry go to a secondary infantry school after basic, while others do not.

In NZ, Aussie and Britian everyone does basic. Basic trains you on how to be a soldier. After basis you have continuation training in your chosen feild, or your 'job'. But the golden rule is that everyone must be able to do basic infanty tasks regardless of actual millitary occupation.

[Hasler]

As far as having an aid generals have always had lackys to do there bussy work. Rear area officers can have an enlisted lacky but personally I dont see the need to send them to special schools. Its not hard to shine boot and press uniforms. I do it every other day durring the school year. On any given day i will have 2pairs of boots, 2 sets of BDUs Class Bs and a dress uniform ready to go.

For the basic question yes all army soldiers are train to some extent as infantry but the intensity of the training is different depending on you MOS.
If you go to FT lenerdwood (Truck Drivers etc) you get half the combat training that you would get if you went to FT Benning(mainly Inf).

[TrailerParkJawa]

I think the problems the 507th had with weapons jamming is an indicator that non-combat units in the Army are lacking in training or practice. Like Sea Skimmer said, being a good infantryman is a full time job. So is being an aide to a flag officer. I firmly believe in the Marine Corp concept of every Marine a riflemen, but you have to take it with a grain of salt. Someone who is a full time riflemen is always going to outclass someone who is a full time something else.

[Howedar]

In NZ, Aussie and Britian everyone does basic. Basic trains you on how to be a soldier. After basis you have continuation training in your chosen feild, or your 'job'. But the golden rule is that everyone must be able to do basic infanty tasks regardless of actual millitary occupation.

Well basic does mean basic, after all. What I was trying to say was that infantry school is not entirely separate from basic training in the US Army. I suspect this is true everywhere.

[jegs2]

Well, I confess it was a half-formed thought at the time and simple duty assignments are (obviously) more sensible.

But are you referring to the entire concept, at that?

Just don't see a need for 'butlers' for all officers. General officers and Naval flag officers are so busy that they might need them. But then they work most of the day, every day. I was surprised to learn just how many hours GO's work when I pulled a shift or two at a Division EOC, several years ago -- they never seem to go home. Company-grade and field-grade officers have no need for butlers, at least not in the Army. I'll let the other services speak for themselves...

[Stuart Mackey]

For the basic question yes all army soldiers are train to some extent as infantry but the intensity of the training is different depending on you MOS.
If you go to FT lenerdwood (Truck Drivers etc) you get half the combat training that you would get if you went to FT Benning(mainly Inf).

All of your soldiers should be able to do basic infantry work, and be shown how in basic, regardless of their job. Having said that, I would not expect a truck driver to perform well as a line infantryman or vice versa as their jobs are different.