First Alien Contact..

Trytostaydead · Post by **Trytostaydead** » 2003-08-02 03:54pm

What if the first contact aliens made were with the Taliban or some such?

Do you think we'd have our first interstellar war within a matter of minutes?

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-08-02 04:03pm

<Kevin McAlister>Yes. *rewinds Talkman and plays back* [Yes.]</Kevin McAlister>

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2003-08-02 04:12pm

Depends on the aliens. If a lizard bit you, would you stomp on every lizard that you see?

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-08-02 04:19pm

Honestly, they'd probly first have contacted the more high-powered factions on this planet like the USA, Russia, China, or the EU...

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-08-02 04:39pm

That would depend a lot on the aliens, if there members of the Cult of fundie space Islam and came to capture Mecca it would be a bit different then if the Zolton scientist came to study our species and buy porn.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-08-02 05:24pm

Sea Skimmer wrote:That would depend a lot on the aliens, if there members of the Cult of fundie space Islam and came to capture Mecca it would be a bit different then if the Zolton scientist came to study our species and buy porn.

thats so funny it hurts.

LT.Hit-Man · Post by **LT.Hit-Man** » 2003-08-02 05:31pm

Col. Crackpot wrote:
Sea Skimmer wrote:That would depend a lot on the aliens, if there members of the Cult of fundie space Islam and came to capture Mecca it would be a bit different then if the Zolton scientist came to study our species and buy porn.
thats so funny it hurts.

In that case they would be heading to Japan

J/K

Best thing to do in such a case is to offer them up some smack in return for some realy cool Hi-tech shit

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-08-02 05:47pm

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:Honestly, they'd probly first have contacted the more high-powered factions on this planet like the USA, Russia, China, or the EU...

They already made contact with the most powerfull nation on Earth.
Exchange alien technology for the right to abduct and gangprobe some hillbillies.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-08-02 08:36pm

...then the aliens found a Sharper Image catalog in the possession of a fleeing Taliban member (don't ask) and their ship soon was filled with useless shit.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-08-03 04:54am

Montcalm wrote:
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:Honestly, they'd probly first have contacted the more high-powered factions on this planet like the USA, Russia, China, or the EU...
They already made contact with the most powerfull nation on Earth.
Exchange alien technology for the right to abduct and gangprobe some hillbillies.

When was Whitley Strieber a hillbilly?

Alex Moon · Post by **Alex Moon** » 2003-08-03 05:00am

LT.Hit-Man wrote:
Col. Crackpot wrote:
Sea Skimmer wrote:That would depend a lot on the aliens, if there members of the Cult of fundie space Islam and came to capture Mecca it would be a bit different then if the Zolton scientist came to study our species and buy porn.
thats so funny it hurts.
In that case they would be heading to Japan J/K

Alien: "We are the tentacled warriors from Alpha Centuri. We have come to your world to gain sexual experience with members of your species. To accomplish this we will be taking up residence in the nation you call Japan."

Japanese schoolgirls, collectively: "AW SHIT!"

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-08-03 05:07am

Alex Moon wrote: Alien: "We are the tentacled warriors from Alpha Centuri. We have come to your world to gain sexual experience with members of your species. To accomplish this we will be taking up residence in the nation you call Japan."

Japanese schoolgirls, collectively: "AW SHIT!"

(Insert joke about the Star-Spawn Of Cthulhu)

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2003-08-03 05:23am

Trytostaydead wrote:What if the first contact aliens made were with the Taliban or some such?

Do you think we'd have our first interstellar war within a matter of minutes?

Anyone who has developed interstellar travel cannot possibly be so dumb as to imagine that a species might not be made up of different and competing groups. So we'd just get to watch aliens fight the Taliban on CNN.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-08-03 05:29am

Simon H.Johansen wrote:
Alex Moon wrote: Alien: "We are the tentacled warriors from Alpha Centuri. We have come to your world to gain sexual experience with members of your species. To accomplish this we will be taking up residence in the nation you call Japan."

Japanese schoolgirls, collectively: "AW SHIT!"
(Insert joke about the Star-Spawn Of Cthulhu)

Can't this board go 5 minutes without mentioning Cthulhu or anal sex?

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2003-08-03 05:31am

Actually, I role-played a story out like this once. An alien species had sent ships to Earth to colonize it only to discover it already inhabited (their FTL drive was rather slow and our radio signals hadn't reached their territory when the fleet was launched). The aliens were, fortunately for the purposes of this RPG, humanoid, but there were still extreme differences, especially cultural. They were able to negotiate; but were basically stuck in orbit and only had so much to go on their atmospheric systems. They ended up negotiating with France to buy French Guiana as a place to settle, since they had the equipment to clear out the jungle and make it suitable for habitation.

...Then, Osama bin Laden (this was before 9/11, mind you), managed to smuggle a black-market ex-soviet nuclear device onto one of the alien ships. It was detected before it went off, but, ah, the result was pretty dramatic, and when it was over, the aliens also possessed Afghanistan and Tajikistan. (They used nuclear bombardment to clear out certain pockets of resistance, even, and the conflict lasted twelve days.)

Because of disturbing similiarities to real life this story was not resumed after 9/11.

Hethrir · Post by **Hethrir** » 2003-08-03 07:28am

Trytostaydead wrote:What if the first contact aliens made were with the Taliban or some such?

Do you think we'd have our first interstellar war within a matter of minutes?

Oh, i thought the Raelians already did?

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-08-03 10:42am

Simon H.Johansen wrote:
Montcalm wrote:
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:Honestly, they'd probly first have contacted the more high-powered factions on this planet like the USA, Russia, China, or the EU...
They already made contact with the most powerfull nation on Earth.
Exchange alien technology for the right to abduct and gangprobe some hillbillies.
When was Whitley Strieber a hillbilly?

Aliens can make mistake too.

And what proof do we have WS was abducted by aliens,maybe he wrote the story to make money,or maybe he was on drugs and he confused the exam at the hospital for an alien probing exam.

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-08-03 10:55am

Just hope they're not a bunch of genocidal religious fundies like the Minbari, we'll be fine.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-08-03 11:06am

Vympel wrote:Just hope they're not a bunch of genocidal religious fundies like the Minbari, we'll be fine.

If the EA fleet had not fired on the Minbari ships the war would not have happened,it was just cultural misunderstanding.

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2003-08-03 11:25am

Montcalm wrote:
If the EA fleet had not fired on the Minbari ships the war would not have happened,it was just cultural misunderstanding.

God be praised for cultural misunderstandings!

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-08-03 12:04pm

There are aliens here already. Bill Hicks talked about them. The higher cultured aliens are too smart to make contact with us and what we have visiting here are the alien equivilant of hill billies. It goes a long way to explaining anal probing and cattle mutilation.

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-08-03 01:41pm

I would hope that when the aliens come noone is surprised, but I suspect only scifi fans will take them into their homes. Normal people wont, but use skiffy lovers will be like "OH no shit youre an alien! Sweet! can i see a ray gun? do you have 6 uhm... uh.. 6, like the centauri? No way!"

aphexmonster · Post by **aphexmonster** » 2003-08-03 04:29pm

kojikun wrote:I would hope that when the aliens come noone is surprised, but I suspect only scifi fans will take them into their homes. Normal people wont, but use skiffy lovers will be like "OH no shit youre an alien! Sweet! can i see a ray gun? do you have 6 uhm... uh.. 6, like the centauri? No way!"

are you sure thats all you'll ask to see?

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-08-03 04:43pm

aphexmonster wrote:are you sure thats all you'll ask to see?

hmm.. lemme think, i said ray gun and alien cock.. well, i'd wanna see his ship, computers, schematics for everything mroe advanced then what we've got, etc.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-08-03 04:46pm

What would you do if you met an alien,i`d ask him if i can take a ride in his ship.

And i think Aerius would ask him if he`s touching himself at night.

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