Alyrium Denryle wrote:
I know a few guys that or horrible leches... And a bit mysoginist as well. What is truly amazing is that they have more females crawling over them than I do(I think it is the whole"He wont try to sleep with me" attitude)
Yeah... one of my friends is so misogynistic that it borders between ridiculous and frightening - but he still manages to land a girlfriend while I've did my best for years without a result!
However, they later broke up. He's probably been making "advances" since then, but I don't hear him boasting of anything.
"Hi there, would you like to have a cookie?"
"No, actually I would HATE to have a cookie, you vapid waste of inedible flesh!"
The problem is that some women enjoys sexual advances from guyseven if they don't want to be with the guy. I'm thinking that it makes them feel good about themselves.
Brotherhood of the Monkey @( !.! )@ To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. ~Steve Prefontaine Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
Gays hitting on me? Would that bother me? Probably, but that is only because I am not a homosexual. I think they would gather from my annoyed facial expression that they should fuck off. If they persist they are no different than any other obsessed piece of shit who won't let up. In that case I would use a nice expletive to let them know I am not interested. I don't think women should bitch too much about being hit on, it's expected. You know, that whole courtship thang, the thing we've had to deal with for hundreds of thousands of years. If you don't want some fucking guy annoying you, be standoffish and strong and set a reputation as a thug. If you can't do that, deal with it, or bring somebody else along to do your dirty work. Aggressive people prey on the weak and the weakminded.
ArmorPierce wrote:The problem is that some women enjoys sexual advances from guyseven if they don't want to be with the guy. I'm thinking that it makes them feel good about themselves.
Yeah! Consider those women who flirt with men only to feel like they can get back in the game. You know, to help their confidence.
Yeah... one of my friends is so misogynistic that it borders between ridiculous and frightening - but he still manages to land a girlfriend while I've did my best for years without a result!
However, they later broke up. He's probably been making "advances" since then, but I don't hear him boasting of anything.
It just goes to show, gils like jerks.. and when the jerk is... well... a jerk... they go for the gay guys(at least in my case) when there is a perfectly nice, unattached straight guy, who would treat them far better than the jerk, who is actually interested...
It hurts my brain.
GALE Force Biological Agent/
BOTM/Great Dolphin Conspiracy/ Entomology and Evolutionary Biology Subdirector:SD.net Dept. of Biological Sciences
There is Grandeur in the View of Life; it fills me with a Deep Wonder, and Intense Cynicism.
I do not consider myself hypocritical. I would be rather irritated if a gay guy kept coming onto me after I told him I was straight. But then, I would expect a girl to be rather irritated if a guy kept coming onto her after she told him no.
Frank Hipper wrote:Ive had PLENTY of unwanted advances from guys.
Woke up once with a guy sucking my dick, he was damn lucky I'm such a nice drunk! Bleccchhh!
How come it's always gay guys with stories like these?? Why can't women be more like gay men damnit!!
I sincerely doubt you would have appreciated a female equivalent of THAT guy. He was nasty, and not the good kind of nasty.
Funny thing is, I thought it was a straight friend who had passed out in another room, at first. Then I opened my eyes, and, GAAAHHH. "Dude, you can stop now, REALLY!"
Frank Hipper wrote:Ive had PLENTY of unwanted advances from guys.
Woke up once with a guy sucking my dick, he was damn lucky I'm such a nice drunk! Bleccchhh!
How come it's always gay guys with stories like these?? Why can't women be more like gay men damnit!!
Well you see.(I have to use the stereotype right now, because it is so fucking funny)
<voice=gay...very very gay> we are like women with a males sex drive you silly goose</voice>
It really is kinda true. We have a males sex drive, and well... Frank KNOWS the results...
GALE Force Biological Agent/
BOTM/Great Dolphin Conspiracy/ Entomology and Evolutionary Biology Subdirector:SD.net Dept. of Biological Sciences
There is Grandeur in the View of Life; it fills me with a Deep Wonder, and Intense Cynicism.
Men are accustomed to being the sexual aggressor, and do not react well to being the sexual target. It is arguably a double standard, but it's also true that women are accustomed to being the object of desire, not the sexual aggressor. Woman expect men to accost them, and for every woman who says she'd rather make the moves herself, there's several women who think that if a man doesn't have the backbone to make the first move, there's no reason to bother with him.
If we don't become accustomed to making the first move, then we must instead become accustomed to a lot of lonely nights. I guess all I'm saying is that it's not necessarily hypocrisy; it's more a matter of gender behavioural stereotyping and expectations. In short, it's sexist, not hypocritical.
"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing
"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC
"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness
"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.
Rye wrote:Well, i just take it as a compliment if anyone comes onto me to be honest, cos i'm just an attention whore, secretly.
same here
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FaxModem1 wrote:huh, I've never been hit on by anyone, what's it like?
Honestly? It's a little embarrasing. I blush, stammer, do the whole corny "aw, shucks" routine. Completely involuntary, too. On cool reflection, I think "why didn't I just tell him to fuck off?", but never have.
FaxModem1 wrote:huh, I've never been hit on by anyone, what's it like?
Depends on your personality and the ability of the person hitting.
"Show me an angel and I will paint you one." - Gustav Courbet
"Quetzalcoatl, plumed serpent of the Aztecs... you are a pussy." - Stephen Colbert
"Really, I'm jealous of how much smarter than me he is. I'm not an expert on anything and he's an expert on things he knows nothing about." - Me, concerning a bullshitter
FaxModem1 wrote:huh, I've never been hit on by anyone, what's it like?
It depends on the girl. There were a couple of girls in my old university dorm who were interested in me and I was not interested in them. One of them was an Asian girl who paraded herself around in tight bike shorts all the time (she had the body to go with it, but I don't personally go for girls who act like that), and the other one was, well, bigger than me and I didn't like that. Plus, I was involved at the time.
Anyway, I found the interest of the first one amusing, although I suspect it was because she saw me as the only eligible Asian guy in the dorm (the other guys were scrawny geeks), and she wanted a nice university-educated Asian guy to show to her family. I found the interest of the second one very uncomfortable, and tried to be very consistent in not giving her any signals that could be remotely interpreted as reciprocal interest.
"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing
"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC
"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness
"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.
If Religion and Politics were characters on a soap opera, Religion would be the one that goes insane with jealousy over Politics' intimate relationship with Reality, and secretly murder Politics in the night, skin the corpse, and run around its apartment wearing the skin like a cape shouting "My votes now! All votes for me! Wheeee!" -- Lagmonster
Homophobia (in two senses.. explain in a bit) as well as misogyny (sp?).
As per the misogyny, I don't think that is the main problem or even equal to the homphobia.
Now, what do I mean by homphobia in two sense? I mean that there is the classic homophobia (getting hit on by someone of the same sex) as well as the self-homophobia (the fear of being gay or bisexual, oneself). I think that a lot of men that are put off by being hit on by other men are afraid to say that they, themselves, have been attracted to (at some point) to another man. However, they think - know - that they will be put down socially and so are unwilling to admit it, and don't actually want to admit it when someone that they ARE attracted to of the same sex hits on them, because they are afraid of being looked down upon. Essentially, that denial can create a lot of anguish and frustration.
FaxModem1 wrote:huh, I've never been hit on by anyone, what's it like?
Depends on what they do. Sometimes being flirted with (or hit on) could be a smile or a wink, or someone asking (in rare cases, but I have seen it happen), "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"
FaxModem1 wrote:huh, I've never been hit on by anyone, what's it like?
I like it even if I'm not interested in the girl in a relationship stand point (I'd have bang her but that's not saying much). Usually it's a ass grab, she wanna feel up my abs or she just talking sayin that she thinks I look good, do I work out, that sort of thing. At least those are the only ones that I notice.
Brotherhood of the Monkey @( !.! )@ To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. ~Steve Prefontaine Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
personaly I just think its the vague homophobia that's been impressed upon us since earily childhood. we are taught to be insulted by it so we are. kinda sad really.
"its just vile & wrong, and it just makes me giggle."
-Amanda Winn Lee
the Dropkick Murphys kick your ass, & you love every minute of it.
jinx wrote:personaly I just think its the vague homophobia that's been impressed upon us since earily childhood. we are taught to be insulted by it so we are. kinda sad really.
I don't think so. I think it has more to do with our percieved goals and not wanting to be distracted or deal with what we would consider an unworthy suiter. Human nature seems to like the best and dislike second best so when dealing with a mate, strong negitive feelings come broiling up when a lesser prospect imposes itself on us.
They say, "the tree of liberty must be watered with the blood of tyrants and patriots." I suppose it never occurred to them that they are the tyrants, not the patriots. Those weapons are not being used to fight some kind of tyranny; they are bringing them to an event where people are getting together to talk. -Mike Wong
But as far as board culture in general, I do think that young male overaggression is a contributing factor to the general atmosphere of hostility. It's not SOS and the Mess throwing hand grenades all over the forum- Red
It must be pointed out here, that we're talking about more than rejecting unwanted advances. In the OP I mentioned two gay members of the Anglican clergy, one recently made a bishop, one slightly less recently denied the post of a bishop
We are talking about men whose jobs are on the line for acting like, well, men. You can talk all you want about how "we're used to be the sexual aggressors" and "women ask for it because of how they dress" (which I find VERY offensive, BTW), but essentially, no man is gonig to be deemed unsuitable for a promotion just because he comes on to women.
"I fight with love, and I laugh with rage, you gotta live light enough to see the humour and long enough to see some change" - Ani DiFranco, Pick Yer Nose
"Life 's not a song, life isn't bliss, life is just this: it's living." - Spike, Once More with Feeling
