Sodomy= Bad

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2003-08-09 07:36pm

[university professor]
Now, we all know that there are many benefits to having sex. Lower blood pressure, less stress, etc. The same goes for anal sex. However, that portion of the body is not "designed" for the rapid insertion of long tubular objects. Such activity can result in ripping and tearing, which can lead to a potentially lethal amount of internal bleeding.

Summary: Anal sex is a good method of population control.
[/university professor]

That is sadly true.

[sadistic asshole]Muahahahahahaha!! Now many of you will never feel anal pleasure again!![/sadistic asshole]

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-08-09 07:41pm

This idiot professor was obviously too stupid to research the concept of lube.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-08-09 07:47pm

university professor2 wrote: Now, we all know that there are many benefits to driving. Faster movement of people, transit of goods around the country and so on. The same goes for taxis. However, the cars are not "designed" for the rapid decelleration caused by impacts, such as might happen due to careless driving. Such activity can result in major and minor health problems, which can lead to a potentially lethal amount of internal bleeding, limb amputation, and various other horrific injuries.

Summary: Car driving is a good method of population control.

That is sadly true.

theski · Post by **theski** » 2003-08-09 07:47pm

Or useing other bodily fluids as such

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-08-09 07:49pm

I'd try anal sex, but I'm worried my girlfriend isn't on the Pill when I try it and she gets pregnant.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-08-09 07:51pm

There are, ahem, various methods for preventing damage. Perhaps this professor needs to do some research.....

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-08-09 07:52pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:I'd try anal sex, but I'm worried my girlfriend isn't on the Pill when I try it and she gets pregnant.

You have a masters in biology... You should know better than anyone that such is not possible.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-08-09 07:54pm

And he neglected to say 'SLOW insertion' anyway. How many guys you know that you can stick your whole dick into in one swift thrust? None? I thought so.

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2003-08-09 07:57pm

Alyrium Denryle wrote:
Admiral Valdemar wrote:I'd try anal sex, but I'm worried my girlfriend isn't on the Pill when I try it and she gets pregnant.
You have a masters in biology... You should know better than anyone that such is not possible.

Of course it's possible. Where do you think lawyers come from?

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-08-09 08:03pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:
Alyrium Denryle wrote:
Admiral Valdemar wrote:I'd try anal sex, but I'm worried my girlfriend isn't on the Pill when I try it and she gets pregnant.
You have a masters in biology... You should know better than anyone that such is not possible.
Of course it's possible. Where do you think lawyers come from?

That is terrible, to think Vympel and IIRC Stravo are the product of such a union...

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2003-08-09 08:11pm

Woah. I leave for a couple minutes, and there are already a bunch of replies. Not surprisingly, the first person to respond was Mike.

Anyway, this professor also says that anytime you engage in felatio, you get herpes.

The first person to guess his religion gets a cookie.

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2003-08-09 08:13pm

Rye wrote:
university professor2 wrote: Now, we all know that there are many benefits to driving. Faster movement of people, transit of goods around the country and so on. The same goes for taxis. However, the cars are not "designed" for the rapid decelleration caused by impacts, such as might happen due to careless driving. Such activity can result in major and minor health problems, which can lead to a potentially lethal amount of internal bleeding, limb amputation, and various other horrific injuries.

Summary: Car driving is a good method of population control.
That is sadly true.

I believe he said something similar to that once. Also, according to him, planes are the work of Satan.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-08-09 08:14pm

Ah-heh, trying to get the old one up on AV, eh? I know it's best to be protected for anal, the Devil was conceived from the anus of Jack Chick who was masturbating to images in an issue of Nuns with Guns.

So I don't mean to be anally retentive (NARF!) but I think it's safe sticking with vaginal sex, anal sex leads to little surprises 9 months later (and in the case of a good curry, 9 minutes later).

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-08-09 08:17pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:Ah-heh, trying to get the old one up on AV, eh? I know it's best to be protected for anal, the Devil was conceived from the anus of Jack Chick who was masturbating to images in an issue of Nuns with Guns.

So I don't mean to be anally retentive (NARF!) but I think it's safe sticking with vaginal sex, anal sex leads to little surprises 9 months later (and in the case of a good curry, 9 minutes later).

Are you ok Valdemar?? Last time I cheked, Satan didnt exist, and there was no risk of pregnancy when yu had anal sex... you know that whole, no egg+no uterus=no pregnacy thing...

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-08-09 08:20pm

I can state from personal experience that anal sex is an excellent method of birth control. The men who claim to have conceived during anal sex are obviously too fucking stupid to realize that their wives were cheating on them.

"Honey, how did you get pregnant? We've been using anal sex for birth control!"

"Ummmm, ahhhh, I guess it didn't work, dear."

"Oh, OK"

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-08-09 08:21pm

YT300000 wrote:The first person to guess his religion gets a cookie.

Zen Budhist?

The real question is though, proffessor of what? Bullshit?

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-08-09 08:29pm

Darth Wong wrote:I can state from personal experience that anal sex is an excellent method of birth control. The men who claim to have conceived during anal sex are obviously too fucking stupid to realize that their wives were cheating on them.

"Honey, how did you get pregnant? We've been using anal sex for birth control!"

"Ummmm, ahhhh, I guess it didn't work, dear."

"Oh, OK"

Oh you'll love this, it has recently been unveiled through experiments using latex phalluses that the penis has a second purpose other than being a "protein phaser" of reproduction.

Apparently the latex phallus was shafted into a mock-up vagina which was filled with a cornstarch mixture to simulate semen, the penis managed to scoop out 90% of the semen that was already in there and deposit it's own fruit salad of the loin ingredients.

The scientists claimed that their surveys of students support this theory that the penis evolved to be a vaginal shovel as well as a water pistol of life, both men and women reported harder and deeper penile thrusts when the woman was away from the man for a long time or suspected of infidelity.

In short, I want scientists to ask me to take part in such surveys next time, I'm sure I can beat that latex beast.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-08-09 08:30pm

The professor is a definate catholic. The catholic church frowns upon all forms of fun unless you pay the 1st for absolution ot it involves an alter boy.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-08-09 08:31pm

Keevan_Colton wrote:
YT300000 wrote:The first person to guess his religion gets a cookie.
The real question is though, proffessor of what? Bullshit?

I wondered that too, how in Zeus's name did he get to be a professor in anything?

My guess: Follower of the sumerian pantheon.

I heard once that unprotected anal sex is 300 times more likely to transmit hiv than vaginal sex...is this true?

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-08-09 08:32pm

Yeah, Dr. Drew once said that anal sex can result in the ripping of the tissue down there and that the sphinctor (sp) muscle can be stretched. He did, however, say that lube is the way to go.

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-08-09 08:33pm

I dont think I have ever seen a more creative term for semen... Fruit salad of the loin... do you mind if I use that??

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-08-09 08:35pm

Superman wrote:Yeah, Dr. Drew once said that anal sex can result in the ripping of the tissue down there and that the sphinctor (sp) muscle can be stretched. He did, however, say that lube is the way to go.

It is, of course, not a definitive answer to say such things. It depends on the girth of the penis, the constriction of the anal sphincter and the power of thrusting and amount of lubrication. Some people don't even need lube, but they're probably not hung like a horse or anything, who knows?

I don't see too much allure to the practice anyway, prostate milking is just as fun.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-08-09 08:37pm

Alyrium Denryle wrote:I dont think I have ever seen a more creative term for semen... Fruit salad of the loin... do you mind if I use that??

Sure, didn't put the little "C" in a bubble that signifies I own it and must pay me mucho for using it.

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-08-09 08:43pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:
Alyrium Denryle wrote:I dont think I have ever seen a more creative term for semen... Fruit salad of the loin... do you mind if I use that??
Sure, didn't put the little "C" in a bubble that signifies I own it and must pay me mucho for using it.

Thank you*hug*

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-08-09 08:45pm

Alyrium Denryle wrote:
Admiral Valdemar wrote:
Alyrium Denryle wrote:I dont think I have ever seen a more creative term for semen... Fruit salad of the loin... do you mind if I use that??
Sure, didn't put the little "C" in a bubble that signifies I own it and must pay me mucho for using it.
Thank you*hug*

Uh, yay?

Oh no, my special area's inflating!

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