15 ways to avoid a southern ass whoopin

[Peregrin Toker]

Where is the KKK growing the fastest? The Midwest, that's where.

I thought the KKK had been shrinking since the 1980s. (Mind you, many other racist organizations are thriving - but in these days it's hard for a political movement to be taken seriously when its members dress up in silly robes and have a moronic obsession with the letter "K")

[StimNeuro]

Right, that's why you have high schools in Georgia who just had their first interracial high school dance in the last year or two,

One high school, Mike, one.

And unless I'm thinking of something else, the problem wasn't that it was their first interracial dance, it was that some students happened to want to hold thier own prom instead of going to the school-sponsored one.

and a vote to legalize interracial marriage narrowly passed by a 60/40 margin in Alabama. No racists there

The results of a stupid little referendum that probably had a less than 40 percent voter turnout (and most of those voters were likely old farts, anyway, since younger people are less likely to vote in referendums).

I'd say 40% is a bit much. Not to mention that in politics, a 20% difference is considered a landslide.

Besides, so what? The midwest is a giant nothing. What do you expect but wackjob and militia groups, who constitute only a fringe element anyway, and how does that refute Southern racism, when you yourself admit there are places you wouldn't take a black friend in your neck of the woods?

He's not trying to refute the fact that there is racism in the South, he's trying to refute the not-so-subtle insinuations holding the South to be the equivalent of apartheid South Africa (I find your claim that a black guy can't take a look at a white female without getting beat up especially ridiculous, and absolutely untrue).

[Durandal]

Right, that's why you have high schools in Georgia who just had their first interracial high school dance in the last year or two,

One high school, Mike, one.

And unless I'm thinking of something else, the problem wasn't that it was their first interracial dance, it was that some students happened to want to hold thier own prom instead of going to the school-sponsored one.

No, the problem was that the school had just held an interracial prom the previous year, and the following year, the white students wanted to hold a white-only prom. On top of that, the school condoned the students' efforts to promote their segregationist prom.

[Darth Servo]

and a vote to legalize interracial marriage narrowly passed by a 60/40 margin in Alabama. No racists there

The results of a stupid little referendum that probably had a less than 40 percent voter turnout (and most of those voters were likely old farts, anyway, since younger people are less likely to vote in referendums).

I'd say 40% is a bit much. Not to mention that in politics, a 20% difference is considered a landslide.

Tell me, if 40% of the voters in any election voted to legalize murder, would you consider that a problem or dismiss it because the remaining 60% are sane?

[Slartibartfast]

2) Don't laugh at our Southern names (Merleen, Luther, Tammy Lynn, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.) or we will just HAVE to kick your ass

Mary Jo, Bobby Jo, LOL

4) We know our heritage.

That's easy, everyone's a cousin

7) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell up. Just spend your money and get the hell out of here, or we'll kick your ass.

Humidity? You want humidity? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE HUMIDITY!

9) Don't fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot, and you will get your ass kicked.

Well 'ah be. You've heard the man, y'all.

15) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here and tell us how to cook barbecue. This will get your ass shot (right after it is kicked). You're lucky we let you come down here at all. Criticize our barbecue, and you will go home in a pine box... minus your ass.

Well, first thing, try to buy some good beef at the supermarket or a farm, instead of all those asses y'all are collecting

[Joe]

The results of a stupid little referendum that probably had a less than 40 percent voter turnout (and most of those voters were likely old farts, anyway, since younger people are less likely to vote in referendums).

I'd say 40% is a bit much. Not to mention that in politics, a 20% difference is considered a landslide.

Tell me, if 40% of the voters in any election voted to legalize murder, would you consider that a problem or dismiss it because the remaining 60% are sane?

No, he's referring to my suggestion that the turnout for the referendum was less than forty percent.

[Darth Wong]

No, he's referring to my suggestion that the turnout for the referendum was less than forty percent.

You take pride in the fact that Alabama voters are apathetic about eliminating a hideously racist law?

[Darth Wong]

One high school, Mike, one.

Oh, puh-lease. Are we supposed to believe that there are these sharp dividing lines in public attitudes between that municipality and every other one in Georgia? Something like that just does not happen unless there is a social environment which is permissive of those kinds of attitudes, at least in the general region if not the entire state. You don't go driving through some area and suddenly pass through a wall where people are racists.

You can bury your head but there is still a problem down there, exemplified by the people who STILL whine today about how the Southern slavocrats should have won the Civil War, and who still insist on flying confederate flags even though they know perfectly well that blacks view it as a symbol of slavery.

He's not trying to refute the fact that there is racism in the South, he's trying to refute the not-so-subtle insinuations holding the South to be the equivalent of apartheid South Africa (I find your claim that a black guy can't take a look at a white female without getting beat up especially ridiculous, and absolutely untrue).

A black man who takes a long hard look at a white woman has a much greater chance of being beaten up than a guy who orders a filet mignon (see original post). And frankly, after a "joke" in which somebody uses humour to cover up what is basically an attempt to call all northern cities shitholes, you can hardly expect not to see somebody shoot back. Don't be a whiner.

[Joe]

No, he's referring to my suggestion that the turnout for the referendum was less than forty percent.

You take pride in the fact that Alabama voters are apathetic about eliminating a hideously racist law?

Doesn't mean they're apathetic about the law, just apathetic about voting in referendums (turnouts in referendums are never high, it's unreasonable to expect this one to have been). If it was 60/40 in the Alabama Congress, that would have been different.

[Slartibartfast]

I've been to Nebraska and Iowa, and drove all the way to Tennessee. Are any of these part of the "south"? Because they're boring as hell...

I've also traveled by bus from LA to Nebraska, and been to Miami. So far, Miami has been the best.

[Darth Wong]

No, he's referring to my suggestion that the turnout for the referendum was less than forty percent.

You take pride in the fact that Alabama voters are apathetic about eliminating a hideously racist law?

Doesn't mean they're apathetic about the law, just apathetic about voting in referendums (turnouts in referendums are never high, it's unreasonable to expect this one to have been). If it was 60/40 in the Alabama Congress, that would have been different.

What we're seeing here is the effect of relativism. You view that situation with the vote as being "not as bad as it seems", and depending on what standard you're holding it to, that might be true. But compared to where I'm coming from, it is fucking horrendous. You just can't see that.

Having said that, I imagine that the major cities down there are probably better (the tourist areas in Florida seemed nice enough), although there is a very real and very powerful black/white self-segregation effect going on in the entire US which you people are going to have to somehow deal with sooner or later, because it's poisonous.

[Johonebesus]

Right, that's why you have high schools in Georgia who just had their first interracial high school dance in the last year or two, and a vote to legalize interracial marriage narrowly passed by a 60/40 margin in Alabama. No racists there

That was one highschool, and while I certainly don't condone it, it is no worse than families quietly fleeing suburban developments as soon as a black family moves in. Note, that is not an attempt to minimize the importance of the incident, but merely to point out that similar behavior is not confined to the South, which is my basic point.

"from what I have observed first hand" ... yet earlier you said "I don't know how it is up there". Please make up your mind.

"Up there" is Toronto, where I believe you live. I have never been there. Besides being much farther west than I have ever been, it is in another country. So no, I don't really know exactly what things are like there. My "first hand" observations come from Ohio and Pennsylvania. All my other information comes secondhand, i.e. news broadcasts, newspapers, magazines, speaking with people who have lived in the North or West.

Besides, so what? The midwest is a giant nothing. What do you expect but wackjob and militia groups, who constitute only a fringe element anyway, and how does that refute Southern racism, when you yourself admit there are places you wouldn't take a black friend in your neck of the woods?

Do you know what logical fallacy you're committing right now?

Well, I know you committing a straw-man fallacy. Or perhaps I did not make my argument clear enough. I am not trying to refute southern racism. I never said that. The point I was trying to make is that the South is not the terrible stronghold of racism that you and others seem to like to think it is, and that the rest of the country is not some sort of colorblind paradise. That is what I was arguing, not that there is no racism in the South, only that it is not particularly worse here than in the North or the West. It is interesting that you do not actually refute that point. The Midwest is "giant nothing" so somehow doesn't count? So, the only parts of the country that count are urbanized centers on the coasts? Even in such enlightened centers there are frequent accusations of racism, such as when the NY police gunned down an innocent black man, and occasional race riots. "Driving While Black" is not an exclusively southern problem.

What this really comes down to is you like the stereotype of the dumb, racist, redneck, hick South. It gives you somebody to laugh at and feel superior to. The fact that it is not entirely true doesn't matter. I have no illusions about the South. It is poorer, in general, than the North and West, and it shows. In many places it is like a third world country. There are more hicks in the South than in the North, though the North is not free of ignorant hicks. Yet, a lot of what Northerners deride comes down to cultural differences, like cuisine or dialect. I have no real problem with jokes about that, but I do get tired of the exaggerated stereotypes that some people accept as gospel truth, especially in a place where people like to claim that they are so unbiased and tolerant.

[Joe]

Oh, puh-lease. Are we supposed to believe that there are these sharp dividing lines in public attitudes between that municipality and every other one in Georgia? Something like that just does not happen unless there is a social environment which is permissive of those kinds of attitudes, at least in the general region if not the entire state. You don't go driving through some area and suddenly pass through a wall where people are racists.

Fair enough, I live here and I know that certain regions are more racist than others (such a dance would be absolutely unacceptable where I live).

A black man who takes a long hard look at a white woman has a much greater chance of being beaten up than a guy who orders a filet mignon (see original post). And frankly, after a "joke" in which somebody uses humour to cover up what is basically an attempt to call all northern cities shitholes, you can hardly expect not to see somebody shoot back. Don't be a whiner.

You said that a black guy looking at a white woman makes a beating surefire, not merely more likely.

[Andrew J.]

My only personal experiences with the South occured during a road trip to Myrtle Beach (which I don't consider to be part of the South, seeing as how there are so many Northern tourists there). During the trip, we drove by several fast food places, including a number of Kentucky Fried Chicken places. These restaurants proudly(!) advertised that they sold chicken gizzards, presumably for consumption by paying customers.

Needless to say, I am never, eeeever going down there again.

[StimNeuro]

My only personal experiences with the South occured during a road trip to Myrtle Beach (which I don't consider to be part of the South, seeing as how there are so many Northern tourists there). During the trip, we drove by several fast food places, including a number of Kentucky Fried Chicken places. These restaurants proudly(!) advertised that they sold chicken gizzards, presumably for consumption by paying customers.

Needless to say, I am never, eeeever going down there again.

Don't worry about that KFC. The Big Chicken, the only KFC that really counts, doesn't serve chicken gizzards.

[Typhonis 1]

Yes the south has its problems we are not perfect and we also hve the dubious honor of being American Territory that was occupied like captured enemy territory after the Great Rebellion.
I wont call it the Civil War like most people will because it wasn`t.Technically it wasn`t faight about a change of government but a section of the US decided to set up there own country because they were scared the Federal govewrnment would decide something they feltt the Stae governments should. Course its a moot point and Slavery was an institution that needed to be endeed.


All areas have good ppeople and bad people but we tend to remeber the bad.

I love this area and am proud of it I was born and grew up here My home town has its share of historical monuments and a CSA monument We also have a Revolutionary War monument in the local area ,bout 20 minute drive called FT Defiance home of General William Lenoir.

BTW do you know WHERE the term Redneck comes from? Farming since the farmers would stay outside for so long there necks would turn red.

All I am asking is to keep the southern bashing to a minimum please .Ask yourself this if the others started insulting the area you came from and grew up in how would you feel?

[Joe]

Don't worry about that KFC. The Big Chicken, the only KFC that really counts, doesn't serve chicken gizzards.

Drove by it just the other day, Chief. Gotta love the Big Chicken.