Help me if you will.
Moderator: Edi
Help me if you will.
Ok, I messed up. As some of you may know, I was to read the Iliad over the summer. I didn't. Well, I got half way throught it. If some one will help me, it would be great. I got to the part that Paris shot Diomed in the foot and Diomed left the battle.
d(-_-)b
Diomed then comes back on a white horse with an entire army and crushes the forces of evil (at least temporarily) with the help of a forest full of talking tree-shepherds.
It's a really very simple plot that gets stretched out over hundreds and hundreds of pages. *shrugs* Goddamn long-winded authors.
It's a really very simple plot that gets stretched out over hundreds and hundreds of pages. *shrugs* Goddamn long-winded authors.
"On the infrequent occasions when I have been called upon in a formal place to play the bongo drums, the introducer never seems to find it necessary to mention that I also do theoretical physics." -Richard Feynman
Let's see, it's been awhile but I remember a couple of things.
After Achilles dies, the Greeks are all demoralized are most of them want to give up and go home. Oddyusus, or Ulyissus(sp?) of prefer, convinces them not to and then then they go through the whole Trojan horse thing. A Trojan seer sees it as the Trojans are contemplating what to do with it and says "beware the Greeks and the gifts they bring" but Poseidon sends a sea serpent to kill him.
Trojans take the horse in, get drunk off their ass in victory celebration, Greeks come out of horse, open the gates to let the rest of the army in, and raze the city.
That's all I remember. Sorry, I know the Oddusy much better (and yet I can't spell it
).
After Achilles dies, the Greeks are all demoralized are most of them want to give up and go home. Oddyusus, or Ulyissus(sp?) of prefer, convinces them not to and then then they go through the whole Trojan horse thing. A Trojan seer sees it as the Trojans are contemplating what to do with it and says "beware the Greeks and the gifts they bring" but Poseidon sends a sea serpent to kill him.
Trojans take the horse in, get drunk off their ass in victory celebration, Greeks come out of horse, open the gates to let the rest of the army in, and raze the city.
That's all I remember. Sorry, I know the Oddusy much better (and yet I can't spell it
)."I want to mow down a bunch of motherfuckers with absurdly large weapons and relative impunity - preferably in and around a skyscraper. Then I want to fight a grim battle against the unlikely duo of the Terminator and Robocop. The last level should involve (but not be limited to) multiple robo-Hitlers and a gorillasaurus rex."--Uraniun235 on his ideal FPS game
"The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant compared to the power of the Force."--Darth Vader
"The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant compared to the power of the Force."--Darth Vader
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Eframepilot
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What a coincidence! I've been reading the Iliad in my spare time this summer to combat Web addiction and am 7/8ths through. Don't be deceived by Zaia's account; she's actually borrowing from the Book of Revelation(s), and she completely left out Gog, Magog, Warren Worthington III's transformation into Archangel, the anthropomorphic lion Messiah and the Winged Monkeys that fly out of Jesus's... well you get the picture.
To summarize:
Diomed leaves the battle. Soon after Ulysses, Agamemnon and Machaon are wounded. Hector drives the Greeks back to their ships when suddenly the Persians attack. The Trojans and Greeks form a temporary alliance and hold off the Persians at the neighboring town of Thermopylae; unfortunately Hera and Athena get pissed that the war is canceled and turn Hector and Menelaus into hedgehogs. Aeneas and Ajax go in search of a cure and meet the 5th Doctor, who takes them to the planet Uriel where a flying centaur leads them to a cure. Meanwhile Patroclus runs for 26 miles to tell Achilles to get off his lazy butt and help against the Persians and drops dead on arrival, thus founding the first Marathon.
The war starts again when Achilles arrives and starts attacking everyone in vengeance of his dead boyfriend. There are like 8 books of him just killing people. Finally all the important Trojans are dead except for Aeneas, who was persuaded by Julius Caesar three chapters earlier to go to Rome and fight Hannibal, and Hector, who is the one Achilles is really pissed at because Patroclus's last words were that he was cheating on Achilles with Hector. Achilles spends about 900 lines or so chasing Hector around the walls of Troy until Athena ties Hector's shoelaces together and he trips. Achilles stabs him when he's down and drags Hector's naked body around the walls of Troy seven times, whereupon the walls suddenly collapse. But Apollo sends Hermes flying around the Earth faster than light backwards, thus reversing time and fixing the walls. Oh, I forgot about the Persians. They got their asses kicked by, um, Xena. With Hector dead, the Trojans are totally despairing, but Paris manages to shoot Achilles in his heel which was his one weak spot though oddly enough it was never mentioned in the entire Iliad before this.
So Achilles is dead and the Trojans are still safe behind the walls. Agamemnon is all depressed and starts hallucinating that his distant descendants will be lost in the desert chased by giant worms or something, but Ulysses comes up with a plan. The Greeks will build a giant wooden horse that the Trojans will take into the city and he and his two friends Bolo and Beke will wait in the horse until nightfall, whereupon they will leap out of the horse, taking the Trojans by surprise -- not only by surprise, but totally unarmed! Unfortunately they forgot to get IN the horse in the first place and the Trojans escort the empty thing into the city.
In the end the Greeks give up and go home but Troy burns down anyway when Queen Hecuba's cow kicked over a candle or something.
To summarize:
Diomed leaves the battle. Soon after Ulysses, Agamemnon and Machaon are wounded. Hector drives the Greeks back to their ships when suddenly the Persians attack. The Trojans and Greeks form a temporary alliance and hold off the Persians at the neighboring town of Thermopylae; unfortunately Hera and Athena get pissed that the war is canceled and turn Hector and Menelaus into hedgehogs. Aeneas and Ajax go in search of a cure and meet the 5th Doctor, who takes them to the planet Uriel where a flying centaur leads them to a cure. Meanwhile Patroclus runs for 26 miles to tell Achilles to get off his lazy butt and help against the Persians and drops dead on arrival, thus founding the first Marathon.
The war starts again when Achilles arrives and starts attacking everyone in vengeance of his dead boyfriend. There are like 8 books of him just killing people. Finally all the important Trojans are dead except for Aeneas, who was persuaded by Julius Caesar three chapters earlier to go to Rome and fight Hannibal, and Hector, who is the one Achilles is really pissed at because Patroclus's last words were that he was cheating on Achilles with Hector. Achilles spends about 900 lines or so chasing Hector around the walls of Troy until Athena ties Hector's shoelaces together and he trips. Achilles stabs him when he's down and drags Hector's naked body around the walls of Troy seven times, whereupon the walls suddenly collapse. But Apollo sends Hermes flying around the Earth faster than light backwards, thus reversing time and fixing the walls. Oh, I forgot about the Persians. They got their asses kicked by, um, Xena. With Hector dead, the Trojans are totally despairing, but Paris manages to shoot Achilles in his heel which was his one weak spot though oddly enough it was never mentioned in the entire Iliad before this.
So Achilles is dead and the Trojans are still safe behind the walls. Agamemnon is all depressed and starts hallucinating that his distant descendants will be lost in the desert chased by giant worms or something, but Ulysses comes up with a plan. The Greeks will build a giant wooden horse that the Trojans will take into the city and he and his two friends Bolo and Beke will wait in the horse until nightfall, whereupon they will leap out of the horse, taking the Trojans by surprise -- not only by surprise, but totally unarmed! Unfortunately they forgot to get IN the horse in the first place and the Trojans escort the empty thing into the city.
In the end the Greeks give up and go home but Troy burns down anyway when Queen Hecuba's cow kicked over a candle or something.
Two Words.Lt. Dan wrote:I could and will, but it takes time to take notes as you read. I needed to know the end by today.
CLIFF NOTES
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet
