Some memories of past Darwin Awards...

[Sothis]

(15 April 2001, Tennessee) The day before the US tax filing deadline, a Memphis Darwin Award winner trying to beat a train drove around the crossing gates -- only to be struck by an oncoming vehicle whose driver had the same mad plan. The driver of one vehicle was killed, making this monumental stupidity the first instance we have witnessed of a Darwin Award winner crashing into an Honorable Mention. The accident happened to one side of the tracks, so the train passed by unimpeded.

***

(22 March 1999, Phnom Penh) Decades of armed strife has littered Cambodia with unexploded munitions and ordnance. Authorities warn citizens not to tamper with the devices.

Three friends recently spent an evening sharing drinks and exchanging insults at a local cafe in the southeastern province of Svay Rieng. Their companionable arguing continued for hours, until one man pulled out a 25-year-old unexploded anti-tank mine found in his backyard.

He tossed it under the table, and the three men began playing Russian roulette, each tossing down a drink and then stamping on the mine. The other villagers fled in terror.

Minutes later, the explosive detonated with a tremendous boom, killing the three men in the bar. "Their wives could not even find their flesh because the blast destroyed everything," the Rasmei Kampuchea newspaper reported.

***

(June 1999, Florida) Okeechobee County investigators believe the death of Bryan, 28, was related to his wife's habit of stomping rabbits and mice for sexual pleasure. Stephanie, 29, was sentenced to two years of probation and community service for the death of her husband Bryan, who was found in a pit with a board over his body, crushed beneath the rear wheel of his sports utility vehicle.

Stephanie did not deny that she drove over her husband, but in her own defence she released tapes to the police showing her stomping small mammals to death. She was identified by a cryptic tattoo on her lower leg.

Such "crush" videos are sold to people who derive sexual pleasure from the sight of death, especially at the hands of a woman. "It was abhorrent and cruel," said Assistant State Attorney Bernard Romero. "My first instinct was to seek the maximum penalty."

But Stephanie contended that she was an unwilling participant in the videos, and had been beaten many times by her husband prior to his bizarre death. Stephanie was charged in July with two counts of felony animal cruelty, which were later reduced to misdemeanors.

As for her husband, his death under the wheels of his car was presumably a loving sex act between consenting adults. But a man who would lie in a special pit while a woman he groomed for "crush" videos drove over him, shouldn't be surprised when he winds up holding a Darwin Award.

***

It's still not clean!

"It's still not clean!" (4 September 1999, Tokyo, Japan) Shoshi was a part-time janitor until his eagerness to do a good job collided with an unhealthy inability to attend to his own safety. The elevator he was cleaning had water leaking from its ceiling, so he rode a second elevator up the shaft, climbed out its hidden side door, and hopped on top of the first elevator. As he cleaned the puddle from the roof, the car rose to the top floor, fatally crushing him beneath the ceiling of the building. The 24-year-old had forgotten to turn off the leaking elevator before wiping up the spill, leaving the roof messier than before.

[Montcalm]

Sexual pleasure from killing animals "WTF"

[YT300000]

Read all of them before. Funny. Leaving the room messier than before.

[ArmorPierce]

A group of employees were happy to escape work and be bussed around on a day tour by their company. It was a sunny day, and some of the more boisterous employees enjoyed sticking their heads out a rooftop window.

I can picture them like puppies enjoying the wind in their ears.

The driver of the speeding bus told them several times to pay attention to the road and stop their foolishness.

And then it happened.

Two men had their heads out of the window, singing as the wind blew across their faces, when the bus entered a viaduct. The cracking of bone was heard throughout the bus. Their heads did not come off cleanly, as you might expect, but the men fell dead into the bus with cracked heads and broken necks.

The chauffeur, asked whether safety regulations were properly observed, replied, "I always lock the damn thing when kids are in the bus, because kids just don't listen. But for God's sake, these were adults.''

[YT300000]

(1982, Texas) At the Amarillo Fairgrounds, some buildings were in need of a coat of paint, so local contractors were hired to do the job.
Between the buildings was an angled alley with a culvert in the middle, designed to drain rainwater away from the buildings. Because of the slope, the wheeled painter scaffolding tended to roll downhill, so the painters removed the wheels on the scaffolding. They were in the process of moving the scaffolding next to a building, when the metal structure met a transformer. The painters were killed.

The story made the headlines. The town was abuzz with talk of the tragedy, how it had come to pass, and whether the city was liable for damages. The city officials decided they needed to conduct an investigation.

With much fanfare, they arrived at the scene of the incident, prepared to personally recreate the circumstances. Two officials grabbed the scaffolding in the exact same location as the two painters, began to move the scaffolding... and were promptly electrocuted.

[aerius]

Sexual pleasure from killing animals "WTF"

The world truly is a sick place. If you can think of it, people are getting off on it.

[YT300000]

Sexual pleasure from killing animals "WTF"

The world truly is a sick place. If you can think of it, people are getting off on it.

Jean Cretien wiping his ass.

Eeuwww!

[Crazy Goji]

This was always my favorite:

3 February 1990, Washington
A man tried to commit a robbery in Renton, WA. This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by the fact that he had no previous record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid choices as listed below:

1. The target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a gun shop.

2. The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial portion of the adult population is licensed to carry concealed handguns in public places.

3. To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked Police patrol car parked at the front door.

4. An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter, having coffee before reporting to duty.

Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and fired a few wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing him from the gene pool. Several other customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire. No one else was hurt

[Montcalm]

This was always my favorite:

3 February 1990, Washington
A man tried to commit a robbery in Renton, WA. This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by the fact that he had no previous record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid choices as listed below:

1. The target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a gun shop.

2. The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial portion of the adult population is licensed to carry concealed handguns in public places.

3. To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked Police patrol car parked at the front door.

4. An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter, having coffee before reporting to duty.

Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and fired a few wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing him from the gene pool. Several other customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire. No one else was hurt

Yeah what a grade A freaking moron.