Does God exist?

Jesus Christ · Post by **Jesus Christ** » 2002-09-24 08:04pm

G O D wrote:Yes. My son forgot to bring me a beer. I'll kill him for that.
snip

Get it yourself ya lazy old fart, all you do is sit on ya couch watching porn and drinking beer, some of us have to work ya know! the bills on this afterlife dont pay themselfs ya know.

Post by **Colonel Olrik** » 2002-09-24 08:06pm

This is getting strange..

*calmly removes himself from the thread*

Evil Jerk · Post by **Evil Jerk** » 2002-09-24 08:06pm

G O D wrote:Yes. My son forgot to bring me a beer. I'll kill him for that.

Hey, you want to earn eternal salvation? Bring me a Jack Daniels. I'll need it; I'm sending Jerry Falwell a vision tonight, and everytime I go into his mind I simply want to annhilate all of creation.

I'll bet that's why you killed him the first time, too!
Died for our sins my ass!

Jesus Christ · Post by **Jesus Christ** » 2002-09-24 08:07pm

Colonel Olrik wrote:Hey G O D, your son has been trolling around here recently. Go and find him. Then you can leave.

Trolling? I resent that. A deity has to have some time off you know.

G O D · Post by **G O D** » 2002-09-24 08:08pm

Of COURSE he died for your sins. When have YOU gotten me a beer, eh?

Jesus, if you don't get me a beer, I'll tell the world what REALLY happened while you were praying in the olive garden. Got it?

Jesus Christ · Post by **Jesus Christ** » 2002-09-24 08:12pm

Evil Jerk wrote:
G O D wrote:Yes. My son forgot to bring me a beer. I'll kill him for that.

Hey, you want to earn eternal salvation? Bring me a Jack Daniels. I'll need it; I'm sending Jerry Falwell a vision tonight, and everytime I go into his mind I simply want to annhilate all of creation.
I'll bet that's why you killed him the first time, too!
Died for our sins my ass!

Actually, he was supposed to be keeping a eye on me, but the fithy old perv went to do some thing that will send mortals blind,{he saw the latest in Roman orgy tequniques} all this 'Died for our Sins' stuff is just the angels covering up his incompetence.

G O D · Post by **G O D** » 2002-09-24 08:15pm

Son, I think we had this talk before.

You don't want anyone to know what Satan was really doing to you in the olive garden, right?

Jesus Christ · Post by **Jesus Christ** » 2002-09-24 08:16pm

G O D wrote:Of COURSE he died for your sins. When have YOU gotten me a beer, eh?

Jesus, if you don't get me a beer, I'll tell the world what REALLY happened while you were praying in the olive garden. Got it?

Sure I was boffing Mary Magdiline, hey so what its not like its illegal you old fool, every one knows I was boffing her, thats old news.
Get ya beer yourself, I have better things to do than wait on you hand and foot.

G O D · Post by **G O D** » 2002-09-24 08:18pm

Uh huh. And Gabriel just *happened* to walk in on you with Lucifer's thirty inch schlong rammed up your ass.

Don't try to hide these things from me, Son. I know all.

Jesus Christ · Post by **Jesus Christ** » 2002-09-24 08:19pm

G O D wrote:Son, I think we had this talk before.

You don't want anyone to know what Satan was really doing to you in the olive garden, right?

Saten! oh horse shit. You were at the pub with him that day, you cretin, getting pissed, as usual. Stop blaming me for your damned screw ups.

G O D · Post by **G O D** » 2002-09-24 08:20pm

Don't lie to me, Son. I'll revoke your access priviledge to the angelic harems.

Justforfun000 · Post by **Justforfun000** » 2002-09-24 08:20pm

I don't know how to go back far enough for the quote response, but it's unnecessary.

In regards to Darth Wong, you're absolutely right with every point you make. There is no way to prove it, whether absolutely or even partially at this point the existence of God, and it's impossible to prove something doesn't exist.

And of course unsolved mysteries does not automatically lead to the conclusion that it has to be God.

And yes, I know the belief is irrational.

But I'm still not convinced that it's not NECESSARILY reasonable, just unknown. Maybe there is truth to the idea that if you aren't mindful of things they don't exist for you in the sense that even objective evidence might be unseen.

For example, a clock in the background that you don't hear ticking all day and then all of a sudden you do. What's really cool is that it's quite audible too. The ticking did exist, but you did not hear it because you weren't listening.

Of course this is semantics, but still, it's possibly applicable to a postulation of us having a spiritual side that we would not recognize or even be slightly aware of unless meditation, dream study, etc. was followed with this in mind. Apparently many people do seem to be quite convinced by this "do it and prove it to yourself" method as opposed to simple rote brainwashing like religious doctrine. Maybe they are fooling themselves, who knows for sure?

I guess I fall into the open minded agnostic category for now. I saw something that really changed my opinion of psychic ability right in front of my own eyes, and it was completely unstaged. There really was no way to pull a fast one, and it would have been almost ludicrous considering the circumstances. Of course this STILL would have nothing necessarily to do with God, and it's also one of those things that has been notoriously difficult to get consistent objective evidence on. In most studies it seems to be wishful thinking as no clear statistics have come through.

I'll give the benefit of the doubt for the time being that psychic ability is real, but extremely elusive and not something that can be commanded in a laboratory setting well enough to be tested accurately. They say even the nature of knowing they are testing for ESP has an effect, usually negative.

Anyhow, I'm babbling. I still think there are possibilities out there of things that might show us there is more to us than meets the eye, but maybe until certain breakthroughs are made in technology, it will only be possible to personally discover your own "truths". At the very least, it would be a "Godsend" if everyone realized this is a proper attitude to take with irrational and/or currently untestable beliefs, and therefore not try to ram it down other people's throats.

Jesus Christ · Post by **Jesus Christ** » 2002-09-24 08:21pm

G O D wrote:Uh huh. And Gabriel just *happened* to walk in on you with Lucifer's thirty inch schlong rammed up your ass.

Don't try to hide these things from me, Son. I know all.

You know jack, Gabriel was polishing your bishop under the pub table that day, same as he always does, dont deny it! your always bloody projecting.

G O D · Post by **G O D** » 2002-09-24 08:23pm

Cute, son. Real cute.

I'll have you know that that was your mother. I TOLD you not to say anything about that.

Jesus Christ · Post by **Jesus Christ** » 2002-09-24 08:23pm

G O D wrote:Don't lie to me, Son. I'll revoke your access priviledge to the angelic harems.

Go ahead!, I dont use em, not after I heard you gave em all the bloody pox! ya shad bellied old git.

Jesus Christ · Post by **Jesus Christ** » 2002-09-24 08:26pm

G O D wrote:Cute, son. Real cute.

I'll have you know that that was your mother. I TOLD you not to say anything about that.

Ha! Mother hasnt gone near you after your case of penile warts, so go on spout some more lies, ya do nothing old bozo.

G O D · Post by **G O D** » 2002-09-24 08:34pm

So! Those penile warts came from you, did they? I was wondering where your mother was.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2002-09-24 08:40pm

Wonderful, a troll arguing and having a conversation with itself. Any Mods wanna break this off somewhere and send it to the Hall of Shame?

Jesus Christ · Post by **Jesus Christ** » 2002-09-24 08:42pm

G O D wrote:So! Those penile warts came from you, did they? I was wondering where your mother was.

Of course they didnt, you imbecile, more like you got em of those Thai prostitutes you have a fondness for. I do all the work and you squander the funds on cheap hookers, no wonder the power was almost cut last week.

Jesus Christ · Post by **Jesus Christ** » 2002-09-24 08:44pm

aerius wrote:Wonderful, a troll arguing and having a conversation with itself. Any Mods wanna break this off somewhere and send it to the Hall of Shame?

I am not God, thats Catholic church propaganda.

G O D · Post by **G O D** » 2002-09-24 08:51pm

Oh, yes. Which reminds me.

One of the popes has been diddling your mother. Do you want to smite him, or shall I?

Jesus Christ · Post by **Jesus Christ** » 2002-09-24 08:57pm

G O D wrote:Oh, yes. Which reminds me.

One of the popes has been diddling your mother. Do you want to smite him, or shall I?

I'll do it, remember the doctor told you no smiting till that rash clears up.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2002-09-24 09:09pm

The idea of god holds as much validity as me claiming that there is an beautiful, invisible, intangible woman giving me a blow job 24 hours a day.

Now, I'm off to make sure that the Pledge is changed to "One nation, under the beautiful, invisible, intangible woman who gives Damien blow jobs all the time, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

How's that sound?

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2002-09-24 09:45pm

OK, this obvious thread hijack by G O D and Jesus Christ is making my fire breathing pet dragon Fluffy angry. Can we move the father and son, ie tweetledumb and tweetledumber, over to the Hall of Shame forum where the four horsemen can wreak havoc?

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2002-09-24 10:07pm

DarkStar's existence precludes the existence of God. Any omnipotent being would have to be horribly cruel to place that blight upon the world he created.