advice to heal a broken heart please?

pellaeons_scion · Post by **pellaeons_scion** » 2003-08-20 11:20pm

Advice for the broken hearted?

I'm not given to asking questions of this nature generally, but it appears that my current crop of friends hasn't been too helpful with advice on this matter. So, I turn to this place for a fresh perspective.

Put simply, my relationship with my GF ended about 6 months ago. The causes were numerous, and there was fault on both sides. It was an internet based relationship that progressed into the real world and for a time things were good. However as things went along it became apparent that the persona's online were not identical to that offline. After getting to know her it was clear she had mental issues, but we struggled through them. Actually, through that period I felt that the bond between us had strengthened.

But that's not my question. Mine is fairly simple. How the hell do you get over people? I loved this woman, and only when she is gone did I realize how much. I guess it's a fairly oft asked question, but how do you kill the pain in your heart that threatens to crush your spirit and fire, leaving you moving through life like a robot? I go to work, work long hours and return home, eat sleep,the cycle continues.

I feel I'm dead inside, whilst she is happy in her new life. Seems that in past relationships, this one included, I?m used as either a) a Safezone b) a temporary comfort or c)financial security. In this last relationship, it appeared to be all three.

With that, I know I should as my friends say "move on, she wasn't worth it" But I loved her, the good and the bad. Its over now,so what do I do? She seemed to get over it quickly, why cant I?

Meh..
<<edited for punctuation..damn msword formatting>>

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2003-08-20 11:33pm

As stupid as this sounds, You have just got to trudge along like you have been, continue to do things normally, speaking from the perspective of a now happily divorced man, I will say, that though my ex wife was a complete slutbag, for the first six months or so, I was a complete mental case. I did things exactly like you. She was happy in the divorce whilst I was miserable. I missed my life, I missed her, I missed the companionship, but, after awhile, I realized that, I am a selfish, self-centered, asshole prickhead. And am now VERY happy living by myself, with no one to answer to but me, I bide my time on this BBS, or playing SWG or Xbox, I go to work, I come home, play smoke, eat, occaisionally sleep. It was the best thing to ever happen to me! Well worth the alimony and child support I pay every month. But it took that disaster (Financially and emotionally) for me to get to the VERY content, happy-go-lucky person I am today. Being alone is GREAT! Plus, for some reason, (And I SWEAR this is true, I get more pussy now than ever before In my ENTIRE life) Women SO LOVE a man who really doesn't WANT to be with anyone! They'll fight for your attention, Especially if you make it abundantly clear that you are not interested in a relationship! They fight even HARDER then!!! Now, I'm not kevin Sorbo by any stretch of the imagination, but women love a man who doesn't give a shit about them!

In conclusion, STEEL YOURSELF my young friend, trudge through the quagmire that is your broken heart, for at the other side is a wide open pararie, Filled with scantily clad women, and all the frozen pizza you could ever want! Good luck!

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-08-20 11:39pm

You feel a devastating sense of loss because you had dreams of the future, and those dreams have been snatched away. This is the heart of the problem; until you have new dreams, you will not get over this.

KingGlamis · Post by **KingGlamis** » 2003-08-20 11:50pm

Chadok speaks well. I would add... this has happened to all of us. Losing love hurts. No way around it. But you WILL forget about it eventually. My suggestion is to bang as many women as possible. That will take your mind off "her." But don't fall in love with ANY of the women you bang. Tell your heart that the next time you fall in love will be because you know 100% it is right, not because she spread her legs. Any woman can spread her legs, only a few will be a good match for you in the long run. Learn the difference.

On a side note, concentrating on your favorite hobbies can help you to forget the ex. Especially if you have buddies with the same hobbies that you can hang out with.

pellaeons_scion · Post by **pellaeons_scion** » 2003-08-21 12:56am

thanks guys. Your right DW, my dreams were snatched away. The quest to find new ones begins, but damn its a hard path. Still, nothing ever worth anything was easy I suppose. So, Im looking at a career change, heading back to uni, and getting out of this apathetic and stagnant town.

LOL to the banging as many chicks as possible...if you knew my town, you wouldnt touch half of them...gotta love 80% unemployment and high drug problem..still I wouldnt say no if the opportunity was there. Guess your right about the discriminating between sex for fun, and true love(ick).

Chardok: nice advice. My real problem is that I docare for them, perhaps too much. And ive never had erm...relations..with someone I didnt feel anything for...Still self-acceptance is a good thing, one I have to work on

Still the hobbies were neglected, and Im picking them back up again, which is a good feeling. And my mates, though misguided at times

are loyal pals.

*Covers self in armor plate, and puts on the boots of trudging* life goes on eh?

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-08-21 12:58am

Yeah, this is easy. Here's the cure. Go out with your friends and have fun. Do lots of socializing. Meet new people. New girls. Play the field.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-08-21 01:04am

Coming from someone who has never been in that sort of situation, I would have to say that just moving on would be best; put it all out of your mind. Dwelling on the past can bring little good.

LordShaithis · Post by **LordShaithis** » 2003-08-21 01:31am

GET SOME ASS!

Seriously, you'll feel better.

pellaeons_scion · Post by **pellaeons_scion** » 2003-08-21 01:48am

Yeah. dwelling in the past is a bad thing...see, the logical brain knows this, the emotional side ignores it, and in fact seems to feed on it.

As for the getting of ass, Im kinda choosy about that..

pellaeons_scion · Post by **pellaeons_scion** » 2003-08-21 01:53am

BTW, as an unashamed geek (it tech, can actually read

) , playing the field is hard when you play by a different rule book to the town in general. Guess it cant hurt to try and learn the rules though...
The height of social contact in this place is either sharing a bong, or getting smashed...fun when done in moderation, not all the time though...

Macross · Post by **Macross** » 2003-08-21 04:14am

I know how you feel, I was in the same situation not to long ago. Unfortunatly time is the only thing that can heal these wounds. Take all the time you need. If you need to, talk to your doctor, or a therapist if you need to. It helps alot to talk things out with someone. It helped me.

LordShaithis · Post by **LordShaithis** » 2003-08-21 04:35am

Just get smashed and bone the first reasonably okay girl you find. It's no way to live your whole life, but these are emergency measures.