The Apotheosis of St. Roy the Arrogant

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2003-08-21 06:39pm

THE APOTHEOSIS OF ST. ROY THE ARROGANT

1:1 And lo, it came to pass in those days that in the
land of Alabama, south of the Mason-Dixon line and
just over the hill from the yum-yum tree, there rose a
mightly warrior of our Lord.
1:2 Roy Moore was he called, and unto him was given
the name of Roy, for his parents liked not the names
Murray or Phil.
1:3 And it came to pass that Roy didst come into great
power in this land, for unto him was given the
leadership of the highest court of all Alabama.
1:4 Thou hast unto you a great responsibility, sayeth
the rulers of this great land of Alabama, for we are
but part of a much greater land called America. Great
is this mighty land, for not only doth it have many
more yum-yum trees than our fine and beauteous
Alabama, it hath also a fair and just Constitution.
1:5 Constitution? What's that? asketh Roy, for he was
sore confused.
1:6 It is none less than the laws of all America,
sayeth the rulers of this great land of Alabama,
promising equality to all, and preferential treatment
for none, regardless of race, sex, or religion.
1:7 Not even religion? asketh Roy.
1:8 Nope, sayeth the leaders.
1:9 And Roy was sore aggrieved, for he did believe it
was his God-given mandate to use his great
governmental power to compel all those under his sway
to adhere to the worship of the Lord. I'll show them,
Roy didst say unto himself, such was the depth of his
indignation.
1:10 And thus Roy didst post the Commandments of the
Lord above his bench, and those who understood the
words of the Constitution were sore afflicted.
1:11 They ain't seen nothin' yet, Roy didst think to
himself. And it came to pass that, under the cover of
darkness, Roy and many cohorts also enamored of the
Lord stole into the judicial building and placed a
monument to the Commandments weighing many tons smack
dab in the middle of the floor.
1:12 And when this perfidy was revealed, many across
the great land of America who value the separation of
church and state didst go apeshit, and phone their
lawyers.
1:13 And it came to pass that Roy was commanded to
remove this monument. Take down this monument! he was
commanded.
1:14 I shall defy you, sayeth Roy. I answer not to
your laws, but to our Lord.
1:15 Take down this monument! commanded the appellate
courts.
1:16 Bite me, sayeth Roy.
1:17 But the courts would not relent, and nor would
Roy, and a great battle ensued, and there was a
wailing and gnashing of teeth. For Roy had spoken,
that he was above the Constitution, above the laws of
America, and should he be crucified upon the cross as
was our blessed Jesus, then all the better for him, as
he would ascend unto Heaven a marytr for the Lord, and
perhaps even someday have a holiday named after him
and everything. For when one obeyeth the Lord, one
needeth answer only to the Lord, and fie! upon these
foolish laws of men. Amen.

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-08-21 07:04pm

Wow...you should rewrite the bible...

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-08-21 07:10pm

What's an Apatheosis?

Other than that...ROFL!

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2003-08-21 08:26pm

Vorlon1701 wrote:Wow...you should rewrite the bible...

Well, I didn't write this, but I could show you to the author if you'd like.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-08-21 08:47pm

On a similar note, I read today that the Supreme Court refused to block the removal order.

DarthBlight · Post by **DarthBlight** » 2003-08-22 08:40am

The Dark wrote:What's an Apatheosis?

Other than that...ROFL!

Apotheosis = Making a person into a god.

Roman emperors were apotheosized upon death, being worshipped alongside the traditional gods.

NapoleonGH · Post by **NapoleonGH** » 2003-08-22 12:25pm

DarthBlight, only some roman emperors were diefied (another term for the same thing) others weret.

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-08-22 11:53pm

DarthBlight wrote:
The Dark wrote:What's an Apatheosis?

Other than that...ROFL!
Apotheosis = Making a person into a god.

Roman emperors were apotheosized upon death, being worshipped alongside the traditional gods.

I knew I'd seen that word somewhere before. It was when I was reading up on Roman history, referring to Gaius Julius Caesar. Thanks

.

Sriad · Post by **Sriad** » 2003-08-23 11:40pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:
Vorlon1701 wrote:Wow...you should rewrite the bible...
Well, I didn't write this, but I could show you to the author if you'd like.

Hit us with it. That was wicked-funny.

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2003-08-24 02:24pm

Sriad wrote:Hit us with it. That was wicked-funny.

Actually I cannot show you where this came from due to restricted access reasons. But is was written by a man I met recently named Martin Wagner. He's kind of like the Texas version of Mike Wong. He doesn't have his own web page though, he takes on the fundies using his call in TV show. Here's his picture.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-08-24 07:23pm

You must procure episodes of this show for our viewing.