The Customer is Uniquely Stupid

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-08-23 01:19am

A rant thread for all of us in retail, hospitalities or front-office work.

Just had a great one...

2 girls just came in and asked:

"Does it cost anything to use the computers?"

*cue blank confused expression* "...Yeessss..."

"Oh."

2 girls leave.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-08-23 01:27am

I was waiting in a bank line-up once when some guy started berating a teller because she wouldn't withdraw thousands of dollars in cash from a bank account for which he could not produce a bank card or any form of personal ID.

The fucktard was actually pounding on the counter and demanding to see the manager, who confirmed that they can't take that much money out of someone's account without some kind of identification, at which point he began screaming even more loudly!

Either this guy was a totally inept fraud artist, or he was the legitimate owner of the account and he was too goddamned stupid to realize that these procedures exist for the security of his own money.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-08-23 02:43am

How many people get morallly offended because they do not allow straws and lids in national parks restuarants anymore. THen demand to know WHY. When you tell them (Too Much garbarge, Kills animals, too much litter they go BUT IN NEED ONE FOR MY BABY)

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2003-08-23 06:59am

You can just imagine the hell I have been through (and still go through) in tech support...

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2003-08-23 07:29am

The Yosemite Bear wrote:How many people get morallly offended because they do not allow straws and lids in national parks restuarants anymore. THen demand to know WHY. When you tell them (Too Much garbarge, Kills animals, too much litter they go BUT IN NEED ONE FOR MY BABY)

If it's for the children, anyone can get away with anything, I say.

Thankfully I seem to live around a more civilized area of civilization and I haven't seen any idiots like that yet.

Hethrir · Post by **Hethrir** » 2003-08-23 07:32am

"when backspace key is pressed, one character to the left gets deleted." That made it passed the helpdesk to the field.

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2003-08-23 07:46am

Hethrir wrote:"when backspace key is pressed, one character to the left gets deleted." That made it passed the helpdesk to the field.

Yup. Sounds about right...

Xon · Post by **Xon** » 2003-08-23 09:08am

EmperorMing wrote:You can just imagine the hell I have been through (and still go through) in tech support...

Which is why I never want to work in tech support...

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-08-23 09:28am

Is having an accent required in tech support? Every time I call Lynxs or Yahoo tech support, I get some guy that just stepped off the boat from India or Ireland. Does INS require you to work in tech support before you get your green card?

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-08-23 09:31am

EmperorMing wrote:You can just imagine the hell I have been through (and still go through) in tech support...

Isn't it frustrating how many people have no idea on simple tasks. My brother works in the summer as tech support at my dad's parish, and many of them have extremely hard times with the computers. Of course, they use Windows XP...........

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-08-23 09:54am

Superman wrote:Is having an accent required in tech support? Every time I call Lynxs or Yahoo tech support, I get some guy that just stepped off the boat from India or Ireland. Does INS require you to work in tech support before you get your green card?

No, they've probably just out-sourced to there, as it's cheaper.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-08-23 10:12am

My faves still are the lovable blank expression the consumer has when buying an electronic product.

"Is Madden 2004 as good 2003(LOL...yeah it's been out for 24 hours and that poor schmuck behind the cash register hasn't even touched it...but this magazine gives a glowing review...care to read that instead?)"

Or the lovableness of the return policy which has gotten suckier over the years because of dipwads who return shit because it didn't match their decor and make a store into a rental palace...and then these are the same people who argue about it

(ie...instead of 14 days...most stores just have what you return you get a sealed of the new product as a one time deal...hell some don't even care if it's broken anymore).

Oi...very glad I only worked Game stores in high school....never touching retail again.

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-08-23 10:17am

Old story but a good one. While working at the movie theater, had some lady yell at us for someone saying the word "suck." Then, she goes 30ft away, and our manager is telling us to watch our language, cos apparently people get offended by the word "suck." She turns around and yells, "I heard that!" Blah blah blah...

~ver

Alyeska · Post by **Alyeska** » 2003-08-23 11:02am

Superman wrote:Is having an accent required in tech support? Every time I call Lynxs or Yahoo tech support, I get some guy that just stepped off the boat from India or Ireland. Does INS require you to work in tech support before you get your green card?

Just stepped off the boat? Hell no. Your actually talking to someone in India.

Dahak · Post by **Dahak** » 2003-08-23 11:43am

MY favourite was a guy who actually managed by some obscure means to configure Outlook's text colour to white. Needless to say, white on white is not the best for reading...

The runner-up is a guy who called me because he couldn't print to his local printer. Which was blindingly obvious, since the god-damned cable wasn't plugged in...

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2003-08-23 11:48am

Dahak wrote:MY favourite was a guy who actually managed by some obscure means to configure Outlook's text colour to white. Needless to say, white on white is not the best for reading...

The runner-up is a guy who called me because he couldn't print to his local printer. Which was blindingly obvious, since the god-damned cable wasn't plugged in...

A friend once told a story on another board about his wife's brother--a computer repairman in Australia--who had to actually board an aircraft and fly to a remote mine to check on a computer in the mine office which was making a "regular purging noise". He got there and the computer was just fine--looking across the hall he noticed a bathroom which contained an auto-flush toilet.

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2003-08-23 12:08pm

In the store I work at over summers, I get some, uhm, interesting questions. One jewel was the time that some woman wanted some ham sliced, but our slicer was broken at the time and I told her we couldn't do it and why we couldn't do it. She walks off with a suspicious look, and I see her talking to one of the other guys, asking the SAME question. She does the same thing to about 3 other guys, getting the exact same answer. Of course, there is also all the times that customers tell you you rang up something wrong and you have to go get them the price tag to proove that the computer rang it up right. Oh, the best one though was the time that we had some overripe bananas on sale for what I thought was 19 cents per pound. The woman came storming back in about 5 minutes later, making a big deal that I had rang up her bananas for 19 cents per pound instead of 15 cents. The total price differenc after tax: 43 cents...

Phil Skayhan · Post by **Phil Skayhan** » 2003-08-23 05:27pm

Alyeska wrote:
Superman wrote:Is having an accent required in tech support? Every time I call Lynxs or Yahoo tech support, I get some guy that just stepped off the boat from India or Ireland. Does INS require you to work in tech support before you get your green card?
Just stepped off the boat? Hell no. Your actually talking to someone in India.

Yep, you gotta love outsourcing. My now-former roommate worked IT for KPMG. The company decided to outsource to India and his department was laid off.

Solid Snake · Post by **Solid Snake** » 2003-08-23 06:54pm

I personally hated when people used their fucking credit card to buy something that was like, 5 dollars.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-08-23 06:59pm

Solid Snake wrote:I personally hated when people used their fucking credit card to buy something that was like, 5 dollars.

Fuck yes! This one time in KFC a guy and his entire family of six were ordering a family feast (enough for a small African militia after 6 months of hunger) and the guy didn't have enough cash. So he pulls out a damn cheque book. Yes, a cheque is how he paid for his meal. It only took him the best part of 10 minutes from order to payment and leaving. Same thing nearly happened in a McDonald's in Ayia Napa, Cyprus with an American family, but they didn't take as long.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-08-23 07:01pm

Solid Snake wrote:I personally hated when people used their fucking credit card to buy something that was like, 5 dollars.

For some reason many people think their moneys safer if they carry little cash but lots of credit cards. The fact that the cards limit might be thousands of dollars and no one checks signatures or ID's doesn't occur them of course.

apocolypse · Post by **apocolypse** » 2003-08-23 10:56pm

RE: paying for small amounts on a CC....chill out. Prolly a lot of them are like me, my money is direct deposited, and I use online bill pay. Therefore, I don't need to run to the ATM to withdraw cash all that often, whereas my plastic is always on me and lasts as long as I want it to. (Unless it's stolen or lost

) If I have cash I'll use it, but I'm not running out and making a special trip to the ATM if it's not needed.

Spyder · Post by **Spyder** » 2003-08-24 12:23am

Where I work processing a card doesn't take any longer then processing cash so it doesn't worry me.

What does piss me off are cheques, or more specifically people who get pissed off with the various requirements for paying by check.

Some get pissed off when they find they have to fill out their contact details on the back, but grudingly do it. Some get pissed off because they need a valid form of ID, but either present it or get pissed off and leave...or demand to speak to the manager who smiles at them and repeats
everything I just told them.

One time this woman tried to pay by cheque but didn't have a valid form of ID. "Fucking hell, fuck this!" She yelled loud enough for everyone within 50ft to turn around and look at her. She then pulled a $50 out of her handbag and payed cash...

Thing that pisses me off number 2: Finance contracts for cell phones.
If you can't afford to pay $500US for a cell phone then perhaps you're not the kind of person that should own a $500US cell phone. I liken it to wearing an Amani suit to a job as a checkout operator. I've also found that most people trying to finance something for around that $ value and under will vey seldomly meet the criteria for approval. And then there's the same problem that you get with cheques, ID.

This one guy wanted to finance one of those phones, didn't have ID.
"What do people that don't have a photo ID do then?" This guy whined. They don't get finance obviously.

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-08-24 01:49am

Sea Skimmer wrote:
Solid Snake wrote:I personally hated when people used their fucking credit card to buy something that was like, 5 dollars.
For some reason many people think their moneys safer if they carry little cash but lots of credit cards. The fact that the cards limit might be thousands of dollars and no one checks signatures or ID's doesn't occur them of course.

I think for most people its an issue of convienience. Going to the ATM is a pain if you got family, kids, are working OT, etc. Also, a credit card might be used because its something that will go on an expense sheet and its easier to keep track of instead of using petty cash.

As for checking ID's Ive noticed lately lots of retail establishments are checking. This used to never, ever happen. When I worked at Circuit City customers would get irate, and act all pissy. I dont understand why people get upset when you are trying to protect their money.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-08-24 02:19am

The people that get pissed at me for asking for their Pictured ID's and comparing signatures with their credit card purchases...