The Aussie bible

Alex Moon · Post by **Alex Moon** » 2003-08-21 10:38pm

Author Kel Richards described the book as a story of the Bible being told by the kind of bloke who stands around a barbecue in Bondi with his friends.

For example, when Mary is told God has chosen her to be the mother of Jesus: "The angel said to her, 'G'day Mary. You are a pretty special sheila. God has his eye on you'.

"Mary went weak at the knees, and wondered what was going on. Then she said, 'My soul is as happy as Larry!"'

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-08-22 02:24am

I think it's an ok idea, and if it's cheap enough I might buy it, looks interesting.

Dr Jensen said the book's illustrations had also shocked him by portraying Jesus as an Australian.

"I've never seen that before, he's always portrayed as a... northern European or a person from the Middle Ages, (but) suddenly he's an Aussie and it makes a difference."

Someone hasn't seen Mambo's Aussie Jesus line of clothing...

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-08-22 04:24am

does this mean that Jesus and Mary Magdelana "Just went for a Walkabout"

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-08-22 04:40am

Kel Richards is one of the regular presenters on ABC NewsRadio, which I listen to. He compiled a list of uniquely Australian expressions as part of one of his segments on the station. Those words and phrases constitute the dictionary.

Hethrir · Post by **Hethrir** » 2003-08-22 11:29pm

here's the home page... http://w ww.theaussiebible.com.au/

came out to be baptised by him: ?You mob of snakes! God?s very aggro with you! Who warned you to try to scuttle out of the way? Don?t just say, ?Abraham was our old man.? God can make kids for Abraham out of lumps of rock if he wants to! God?s axe is already hanging over your heads, and you?ll be cut down unless you turn over a new leaf.?

?This is a tall order,? the mob whinged. ?If God stacks on a turn, what can we do??

?If you?ve got a couple of coats,? said John, ?give one to a bloke who?s freezing. Share your tucker with folks that need a feed.?

Even the tax collectors?who were sharks and bushrangers?came along and said, ?What do you want us to do??

John said, ?Give people a square deal. Stop robbing them blind.?

And some soldiers said, ?What about us??

John said, ?Don?t behave like thugs. Don?t demand money with menaces. Just live on your pay packet.?

I'm buying one! Only 5 dollarydoos, and this is so funny, i'll never stop laughing!

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2003-08-23 01:28am

Spirit says, "'ey Mates. This is 'eve Irwin, the lord almighty. As you can see, a'hm about to enter the dark lairs of hell to capture the elusive Lucifer..."

Ketrian says, "BLIMEY, 'E'S A BIG ONE!"

Ketrian says, "Jesus is Paul Hogan."

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-08-23 01:45am

SirNitram wrote:Spirit says, "'ey Mates. This is 'eve Irwin, the lord almighty. As you can see, a'hm about to enter the dark lairs of hell to capture the elusive Lucifer..."

Ketrian says, "BLIMEY, 'E'S A BIG ONE!"

Ketrian says, "Jesus is Paul Hogan."

[John Edwards] "Wait, wait, somethings coming through... FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU ALL! YOU FUCKING FUCKERS!" [/John Edwards]

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-08-23 12:53pm

Maybe we could get an audio tape with Steve Irwin, AKA the Crocodile Hunter, to do the narration. Everytime I read Aussie slang, I hear his voice in my mind anyway...

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2003-08-23 01:12pm

WTF is a sheila? Crazy upside-down people.

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-08-23 08:19pm

Next: The Barbie on the Mount!

LOL!

Hethrir · Post by **Hethrir** » 2003-08-23 08:23pm

Demiurge wrote:WTF is a sheila? Crazy upside-down people.

Sheila is a chick. Bruce and Sheila are two typical Aussies.

Spyder · Post by **Spyder** » 2003-08-23 11:56pm

Hethrir wrote:Sheila is a chick. Bruce and Sheila are two typical Aussies.

There is a New Zealand song with the lyrics "Who's call a kid Bruce anyway? The poor kid would have to hang his head in shame."

Although I doubt that it's related.