Joke - How many Christians does it take....

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-08-25 09:48am

ggs wrote:
Arrow Mk84 wrote:Computer programmer: Who the hell needs a little blub with all these moniters?!
I think it would be more like:
Computer programmer:
v1: Incandescent lightbulb experiences failure due to over use.
v2: Improve life expectancy, add more 'features'.
...
v10: Nuclear battery powered lightbulb, with dimmer control, smoke detector and kitchen sink biult in. Experiences occasional failures which frag the biulding.

Nah. That fits engineers better, what with their motto of "if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features."

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-08-25 10:14am

The Dark wrote:
Darth Gojira wrote:Buddists: One, but it's half screwed.
Ah, no, you see, the light bulb is but an illusion, and to believe in it is to fall prey to karma.

You are mixing religions..

Personally, I liked the Unitarian one.

Now.. pagan.. [thinks]

Pagans: 5. Four to call the corners and pray to the Goddess for protection while the other changes the light bulb.

~ver

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2003-08-25 11:26am

Catholics: Three - One to call the parish priest for advice, the other to change the bulb and a third to go to confess his sins for not changing the light bulb fast enough, forcing his fellow believers to suffer in darkness.

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-08-25 11:49am

verilon wrote:
The Dark wrote:
Darth Gojira wrote:Buddists: One, but it's half screwed.
Ah, no, you see, the light bulb is but an illusion, and to believe in it is to fall prey to karma.
You are mixing religions..

Buddhists believe in karma. It's sort of a metaphysical molasses that forces one to be reincarnated, rather than achieving nirvana. It's another one of the terms they took from Hinduism and redefined (sort of like taking the Hindu atman and believing the opposite, anatman).

Now.. pagan.. [thinks]

Pagans: 5. Four to call the corners and pray to the Goddess for protection while the other changes the light bulb.

~ver

lol...

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-08-25 01:02pm

The Dark wrote:
verilon wrote:
The Dark wrote:Ah, no, you see, the light bulb is but an illusion, and to believe in it is to fall prey to karma.
You are mixing religions..
Buddhists believe in karma. It's sort of a metaphysical molasses that forces one to be reincarnated, rather than achieving nirvana. It's another one of the terms they took from Hinduism and redefined (sort of like taking the Hindu atman and believing the opposite, anatman).

Learn something new every day. Karma's different the way I believe in it.

Now.. pagan.. [thinks]

Pagans: 5. Four to call the corners and pray to the Goddess for protection while the other changes the light bulb.

~ver
lol...

Yes, I can make fun of my own religion.

:P

~ver

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-08-25 01:03pm

Anyone who can't make fun of their own religion is probably a religious nutcase.

CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2003-08-25 02:10pm

Speaking as a Presbyterian, I have to say I am DEEPLY offended.

The Baptists stole our answer!!!

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-08-25 02:54pm

verilon wrote:Pagans: 5. Four to call the corners and pray to the Goddess for protection while the other changes the light bulb.

~ver

Aztec Pagan:
11 - one to change the lightbulb, one to sacrifice the others to Huitzilopochtli.

Nordic Pagan:
3, if we count Odin's ravens.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2003-08-25 03:20pm

JWs and other apocalyptic groups: none. The end of the world is near so we don't need to worry about it.

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-08-25 06:57pm

Ancient Greeks: Two or more. SOMEONE has to get laid!

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2003-08-25 07:16pm

Captain_Cyran wrote:
The Dark wrote:
EmperorMing wrote:Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved ? you can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Churchwide lighting service is planned for Sunday, August 19. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
I wish more Methodists were like this. We're supposed to be a moderately liberal group, and the darn Episcopalians beat us to confirming a gay bishop .

Just make sure the covered dish isn't potato salad or macaroni salad in disguise. I hate that stuff.
I for one like Macaroni salad...so you can bring that. But toss the potato salad.

Stupid Episcopalians, beating us to that...we'll beat them next time though.

It's almost frightening though how much all those statements are true...

Waitaminnit, Methodists have bishops?

Oh, and Iceberg, your Catholic one was hilarious.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-08-25 07:46pm

Robert Treder wrote:Waitaminnit, Methodists have bishops?

Oh, and Iceberg, your Catholic one was hilarious.

Well...yeah, we do have Bishops. And to be a bit nitpicky we're United Methodists...but I don't care if you just call me a Methodist.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-08-25 07:50pm

Discordians - 6: 2 to invoke the Turkey Curse and cleanse the area of Destructive Aneristic influence, 2 to bring the poptarts and condoms, 1 to change the lightbulb and 1 to scream about the Law of Fives.

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-08-26 03:44am

My roommate: I change the lightbulb while he whines about how if the world ended tomorrow because of the secret societies, it wouldn't matter if the light bulb were changed or not.

~ver

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2003-08-26 04:35am

Captain_Cyran wrote:
Robert Treder wrote:Waitaminnit, Methodists have bishops?

Oh, and Iceberg, your Catholic one was hilarious.
Well...yeah, we do have Bishops. And to be a bit nitpicky we're United Methodists...but I don't care if you just call me a Methodist.

Huh. I dated a methodist once, but I never realized she had a bishop. But then again, I never went to her church, no matter how many times she tried to make me.

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-08-26 05:42am

Jews (and a bit of stereotyping): Spend money on another light bulb? WHAT!??

~ver

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