Why the ewoks won

Agent Fisher · Post by **Agent Fisher** » 2003-08-26 11:47pm

the real reason the ewoks won.

Agent Fisher · Post by **Agent Fisher** » 2003-08-27 07:30pm

Come on no one has anything to say?!

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2003-08-27 07:38pm

Well, I don't feel like downloading anything, so I can't watch it, can't comment.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-08-27 09:16pm

I've seen it, and I thought that, while it had it's entertaining moments, it's shoddy camera work, poor special effects, and laughable dialouge syncing ruined the experience.

Dark Hellion · Post by **Dark Hellion** » 2003-08-28 01:02am

I've seen it, and I thought that, while it had it's entertaining moments, it's shoddy camera work, poor special effects, and laughable dialouge syncing ruined the experience.

I thought shoddy camera work, poor special effects, and laughable dialouge syncing made for the best movies. Anyone who's seen Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter knows this.

Enabran_Tain · Post by **Enabran_Tain** » 2003-08-31 11:51pm

Tain is glad the ewoks have been mentioned, for he wishes to bring to light some facts about the ewoks which perhaps not many people will know.

Those ewoks are indeed immensely cunning and brave warriors. Take for example the battle against the wrinkly old emperor's finest legion of storm troopers: with mere sticks and stones and a definite height disadvantage they managed to bring the entire legion to its knees. Tain must acknowledge however that the ewoks' use of heavy weoponry, namely the logs found on the forest moon of endor (as seen when the logs were used to devastating effect to penetrate the armour of an AT-ST walker using the double log pincer movement in the excellent film star wars: return of the jedi), was a stroke of genius on the ewoks' part which not even the wrinkly old emperor could forsee (proof of this lies in the fact that the wrinkly emperor did not proclaim to wheezing lord vader that he had "FORSEEN it"). Such a truly awesome demonstration of strategic planning has not been seen since the days of Admiral Pressman's plan to conquer the empire. Furthermore, from the fact that the wrinkly old emperor did not forsee that an entire legion of his finest troops would fall to a band of stone throwing ewoks, one must conclude that the force is strong with the ewoks.

In light of this overwhelming evidence the wrinkly old emperor would thus be wise to forsee the hasty dispatch of wheezing lord vader to the forest moon of endor on an urgent mission of mass recruitment of the ewoks, along with their heavy log weaponry, into the empire. If this were to happen the resulting increase in power would mean that even Admiral Pressman would have to think twice before implementing his widely acknowledged fullproof plan to take over the empire (and that is despite the widely known and accepted susceptibility of SSD's to an attack by little more than one A-wing). Tain pays tribute to the mighty ewoks and their frightening log technology.

Tain out

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-08-31 11:54pm

Enabran_Tain wrote:Tain is glad the ewoks have been mentioned, for he wishes to bring to light some facts about the ewoks which perhaps not many people will know.

Those ewoks are indeed immensely cunning and brave warriors. Take for example the battle against the wrinkly old emperor's finest legion of storm troopers: with mere sticks and stones and a definite height disadvantage they managed to bring the entire legion to its knees. Tain must acknowledge however that the ewoks' use of heavy weoponry, namely the logs found on the forest moon of endor (as seen when the logs were used to devastating effect to penetrate the armour of an AT-ST walker using the double log pincer movement in the excellent film star wars: return of the jedi), was a stroke of genius on the ewoks' part which not even the wrinkly old emperor could forsee (proof of this lies in the fact that the wrinkly emperor did not proclaim to wheezing lord vader that he had "FORSEEN it"). Such a truly awesome demonstration of strategic planning has not been seen since the days of Admiral Pressman's plan to conquer the empire. Furthermore, from the fact that the wrinkly old emperor did not forsee that an entire legion of his finest troops would fall to a band of stone throwing ewoks, one must conclude that the force is strong with the ewoks.

In light of this overwhelming evidence the wrinkly old emperor would thus be wise to forsee the hasty dispatch of wheezing lord vader to the forest moon of endor on an urgent mission of mass recruitment of the ewoks, along with their heavy log weaponry, into the empire. If this were to happen the resulting increase in power would mean that even Admiral Pressman would have to think twice before implementing his widely acknowledged fullproof plan to take over the empire (and that is despite the widely known and accepted susceptibility of SSD's to an attack by little more than one A-wing). Tain pays tribute to the mighty ewoks and their frightening log technology.

Tain out

You're weird.

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-08-31 11:57pm

I just read that...now I'm going to have to read that damn Pressman thread in the HoS to see what the fuck he's talking about, as well as the Executor/A-wing one...

Anyone got a power drill I can use to plunge into my head afterwards in case it still doesn't make any sense, and before I go crazy and wipe out a city block or two before being brought down by a hail of gunfire from a SWAT team?

beyond hope · Post by **beyond hope** » 2003-09-01 12:23am

RogueIce wrote:I just read that...now I'm going to have to read that damn Pressman thread in the HoS to see what the fuck he's talking about, as well as the Executor/A-wing one...

Anyone got a power drill I can use to plunge into my head afterwards in case it still doesn't make any sense, and before I go crazy and wipe out a city block or two before being brought down by a hail of gunfire from a SWAT team?

It's like the Necronomicon: if you read it and understand it, you'll go irreversibly mad.

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-09-01 12:42am

Ok, I still don't understand any of it...

Who's Admiral Pressman, anyway?

Now, where's that power drill...

Crazedwraith · Post by **Crazedwraith** » 2003-09-01 06:43am

RogueIce wrote:Ok, I still don't understand any of it...

Who's Admiral Pressman, anyway?

Now, where's that power drill...

Bloke who commanded the pegaesus when it tested the phase cloak and got stuck inside a rock. Therefore he's know excatly how to make phase cloaks, (Despite needing to recover the prototype to find out how it works), can mass produce them (despite all evidence to the contary) and will use it to bring the empire crashing to it's knees
Well according to tain that is.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-09-01 09:37am

Agent Fisher wrote:the real reason the ewoks won.

I describe this as equal parts Predator, Blair Witch Project, Star Wars and Kevin Lindenmuth.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-09-01 02:19pm

Enabran_Tain wrote: Those ewoks are indeed immensely cunning and brave warriors.

As much as the Gungans were.

Take for example the battle against the wrinkly old emperor's finest legion of storm troopers: with mere sticks and stones and a definite height disadvantage they managed to bring the entire legion to its knees.

An ENTIRE LEGION? Uh yeah, sure... if you include the team of crack Rebel troops, five main-title characters and their character shields, and a stolen AT-ST. Oh wait, you didn't.

Tain must acknowledge however that the ewoks' use of heavy weoponry, namely the logs found on the forest moon of endor (as seen when the logs were used to devastating effect to penetrate the armour of an AT-ST walker using the double log pincer movement in the excellent film star wars: return of the jedi), was a stroke of genius on the ewoks' part which not even the wrinkly old emperor could forsee (proof of this lies in the fact that the wrinkly emperor did not proclaim to wheezing lord vader that he had "FORSEEN it").

"Always in motion is the future." Dumbass.

Such a truly awesome demonstration of strategic planning has not been seen since the days of Admiral Pressman's plan to conquer the empire.

I'll give you this much: I'd rather be commanded by Wicket than by Pressman.

Furthermore, from the fact that the wrinkly old emperor did not forsee that an entire legion of his finest troops would fall to a band of stone throwing ewoks, one must conclude that the force is strong with the ewoks.

"ALWAYS IN MOTION IS THE FUTURE." You idiot.

In light of ~snip~ log technology.

You have one part of all that bullshit correct. A ST fleet could probably be taken out by the Ewoks.

Tychu · Post by **Tychu** » 2003-09-01 11:59pm

.....i just give up trying to get this post..... Ewoks win 'cause the old emperor dosent see them as a threat and thats it that pressman guy needs to talk to "Bob" Dooku in the ways of stealth and governmental up-hisal...?

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-09-02 12:21am

It's Tain, the Pressman wanker. He never makes sense.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Why the ewoks won

Why the ewoks won

Re: Why the ewoks won