I just cut my penis on a slice of stale bread
Moderator: Edi
I clicked this thread because I thought there was an off in the title. *shudder*
Name changes are for people who wear women's clothes. - Zuul
Wow. It took me a good minute to remember I didn't have testicles. -xBlackFlash
Are you sure this isn't like that time Michael Jackson stopped by your house so he could use the bathroom? - Superman
Wow. It took me a good minute to remember I didn't have testicles. -xBlackFlash
Are you sure this isn't like that time Michael Jackson stopped by your house so he could use the bathroom? - Superman
-
Alyrium Denryle
- Minister of Sin
- Posts: 22224
- Joined: 2002-07-11 08:34pm
- Location: The Deep Desert
- Contact:
In a normal environment... I wuld call BS... but here... as stormy said... SD.net is freak central...
GALE Force Biological Agent/
BOTM/Great Dolphin Conspiracy/
Entomology and Evolutionary Biology Subdirector:SD.net Dept. of Biological Sciences
There is Grandeur in the View of Life; it fills me with a Deep Wonder, and Intense Cynicism.
Factio republicanum delenda est
BOTM/Great Dolphin Conspiracy/
Entomology and Evolutionary Biology Subdirector:SD.net Dept. of Biological Sciences
There is Grandeur in the View of Life; it fills me with a Deep Wonder, and Intense Cynicism.
Factio republicanum delenda est
-
DPDarkPrimus
- Emperor's Hand
- Posts: 18399
- Joined: 2002-11-22 11:02pm
- Location: Iowa
- Contact:
Reminds me of the following joke.Darth Yoshi wrote:The most important thing is to make sure you don't get horny. Morning erections are going to be a problem, though.
A travelling salesman was fucking a farmer's daughter when the farmer caught him in the act. He shot the salesman in the groin with a shotgun and peforated his penis good. The salesman goes off screaming in pain and drives himself to a doctor. The doctor takes one look at his holed pecker and says "I'm sorry sir, there's nothing I can do about it". The salesman goes "I'm rich, I have lots of money, I can pay you anything!". The doc says "well, I know this guy that might be able to help you...", the salesman asks "is he a specialist?" The doc says "no, not really. He plays the flute so he'll teach you how to hold your penis so you piss all over yourself".
Lusankya: Deal!
Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either.
-
HemlockGrey
- Fucking Awesome
- Posts: 13834
- Joined: 2002-07-04 03:21pm
I kept laughing all the way through the thread. Does this make me a bad person?
The End of Suburbia
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses
"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses
"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
-
Stormbringer
- King of Democracy
- Posts: 22678
- Joined: 2002-07-15 11:22pm
Nah, turnaround is fair play. Afterall, I do remember how much we laughed after your kitty incident.HemlockGrey wrote:I kept laughing all the way through the thread. Does this make me a bad person?
Lusankya: Deal!
Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either.
-
Ghost Rider
- Spirit of Vengeance
- Posts: 27779
- Joined: 2002-09-24 01:48pm
- Location: DC...looking up from the gutters to the stars
Then we're bad people...sorry for the accident but there's just something about it all.HemlockGrey wrote:I kept laughing all the way through the thread. Does this make me a bad person?
See? Don't eat naked is the moral of the tale.
MM /CF/WG/BOTM/JL/Original Warsie/ACPATHNTDWATGODW FOREVER!!
Sometimes we can choose the path we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for us. And sometimes we have no choice at all
Saying and doing are chocolate and concrete
Sometimes we can choose the path we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for us. And sometimes we have no choice at all
Saying and doing are chocolate and concrete
-
Stormbringer
- King of Democracy
- Posts: 22678
- Joined: 2002-07-15 11:22pm
What kitty incident? Link, if you have one.aerius wrote:Nah, turnaround is fair play. Afterall, I do remember how much we laughed after your kitty incident.HemlockGrey wrote:I kept laughing all the way through the thread. Does this make me a bad person?
Oh, nevermind, found it. HA HA!
Last edited by Joe on 2003-08-28 10:18pm, edited 1 time in total.
BoTM / JL / MM / HAB / VRWC / Horseman
I'm studying for the CPA exam. Have a nice summer, and if you're down just sit back and realize that Joe is off somewhere, doing much worse than you are.
I dumped a bit of peroxide on it
You gotta love that fizz
You gotta love that fizz
"Right now we can tell you a report was filed by the family of a 12 year old boy yesterday afternoon alleging Mr. Michael Jackson of criminal activity. A search warrant has been filed and that search is currently taking place. Mr. Jackson has not been charged with any crime. We cannot specifically address the content of the police report as it is confidential information at the present time, however, we can confirm that Mr. Jackson forced the boy to listen to the Howard Stern show and watch the movie Private Parts over and over again."
-
Ghost Rider
- Spirit of Vengeance
- Posts: 27779
- Joined: 2002-09-24 01:48pm
- Location: DC...looking up from the gutters to the stars
Probably buried...but Hemlock's is basically he comes out of shower...his kitty attacks his nutsack and when hangs on for dear life...claws and all as he tries to get it off.Durran Korr wrote:What kitty incident? Link, if you have one.aerius wrote:Nah, turnaround is fair play. Afterall, I do remember how much we laughed after your kitty incident.HemlockGrey wrote:I kept laughing all the way through the thread. Does this make me a bad person?
Very funny.
MM /CF/WG/BOTM/JL/Original Warsie/ACPATHNTDWATGODW FOREVER!!
Sometimes we can choose the path we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for us. And sometimes we have no choice at all
Saying and doing are chocolate and concrete
Sometimes we can choose the path we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for us. And sometimes we have no choice at all
Saying and doing are chocolate and concrete
-
Alyrium Denryle
- Minister of Sin
- Posts: 22224
- Joined: 2002-07-11 08:34pm
- Location: The Deep Desert
- Contact:
LOL
Remember... no porn until the wound heals.
Remember... no porn until the wound heals.
GALE Force Biological Agent/
BOTM/Great Dolphin Conspiracy/
Entomology and Evolutionary Biology Subdirector:SD.net Dept. of Biological Sciences
There is Grandeur in the View of Life; it fills me with a Deep Wonder, and Intense Cynicism.
Factio republicanum delenda est
BOTM/Great Dolphin Conspiracy/
Entomology and Evolutionary Biology Subdirector:SD.net Dept. of Biological Sciences
There is Grandeur in the View of Life; it fills me with a Deep Wonder, and Intense Cynicism.
Factio republicanum delenda est
Yup, Einy almost got his dick chomped off by a cat...
This post is a 100% natural organic product.
The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects
I'm not sure why people choose 'To Love is to Bury' as their wedding song...It's about a murder-suicide
- Margo Timmins
When it becomes serious, you have to lie
- Jean-Claude Juncker
The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects
I'm not sure why people choose 'To Love is to Bury' as their wedding song...It's about a murder-suicide
- Margo Timmins
When it becomes serious, you have to lie
- Jean-Claude Juncker
I had to dip it in a cup of peroxide. If I just dump it on, the stuff trickles off too fast to make a difference.
"Right now we can tell you a report was filed by the family of a 12 year old boy yesterday afternoon alleging Mr. Michael Jackson of criminal activity. A search warrant has been filed and that search is currently taking place. Mr. Jackson has not been charged with any crime. We cannot specifically address the content of the police report as it is confidential information at the present time, however, we can confirm that Mr. Jackson forced the boy to listen to the Howard Stern show and watch the movie Private Parts over and over again."
-
Alyrium Denryle
- Minister of Sin
- Posts: 22224
- Joined: 2002-07-11 08:34pm
- Location: The Deep Desert
- Contact:
Ths is why I dont have cats... though I will hope that my Monitor lizard never escapes and catches me in the bathroom...Ghost Rider wrote:Probably buried...but Hemlock's is basically he comes out of shower...his kitty attacks his nutsack and when hangs on for dear life...claws and all as he tries to get it off.Durran Korr wrote:What kitty incident? Link, if you have one.aerius wrote: Nah, turnaround is fair play. Afterall, I do remember how much we laughed after your kitty incident.
Very funny.
GALE Force Biological Agent/
BOTM/Great Dolphin Conspiracy/
Entomology and Evolutionary Biology Subdirector:SD.net Dept. of Biological Sciences
There is Grandeur in the View of Life; it fills me with a Deep Wonder, and Intense Cynicism.
Factio republicanum delenda est
BOTM/Great Dolphin Conspiracy/
Entomology and Evolutionary Biology Subdirector:SD.net Dept. of Biological Sciences
There is Grandeur in the View of Life; it fills me with a Deep Wonder, and Intense Cynicism.
Factio republicanum delenda est
Which reminds me of yet another joke....Hamel wrote:I had to dip it in a cup of peroxide. If I just dump it on, the stuff trickles off too fast to make a difference.
After hours of energetic sex with a blond, the guy goes to the kitchen to make a snack. His dick is all sore so he looks for something to help ease the pain, but finds nothing useful. So he pours himself a cold glass of milk and thinks "what the hell", and sticks his dick in it to cool it off and make it feel better. Right then the blond walks in on him and goes "OMG! So that's how you refill those things!".
Lusankya: Deal!
Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either.
Peroxide is a devil chemical. I've had a lot of bad experiences with the stuff...Hamel wrote:I dumped a bit of peroxide on it
You gotta love that fizz
BoTM / JL / MM / HAB / VRWC / Horseman
I'm studying for the CPA exam. Have a nice summer, and if you're down just sit back and realize that Joe is off somewhere, doing much worse than you are.
It hurt like hell when I was a kid, but now I just feel a very minor stingDurran Korr wrote:Peroxide is a devil chemical. I've had a lot of bad experiences with the stuff...Hamel wrote:I dumped a bit of peroxide on it
You gotta love that fizz
And the fizz is addicting. When I cut my hand a week ago I poured it on over and over again just to see it fizz up
"Right now we can tell you a report was filed by the family of a 12 year old boy yesterday afternoon alleging Mr. Michael Jackson of criminal activity. A search warrant has been filed and that search is currently taking place. Mr. Jackson has not been charged with any crime. We cannot specifically address the content of the police report as it is confidential information at the present time, however, we can confirm that Mr. Jackson forced the boy to listen to the Howard Stern show and watch the movie Private Parts over and over again."
Low-concentration peroxide isn't too bad, but the high concentration stuff will damn near burn your hand off (which I learned the hard way).
BoTM / JL / MM / HAB / VRWC / Horseman
I'm studying for the CPA exam. Have a nice summer, and if you're down just sit back and realize that Joe is off somewhere, doing much worse than you are.
Details pleaseDurran Korr wrote:Low-concentration peroxide isn't too bad, but the high concentration stuff will damn near burn your hand off (which I learned the hard way).
"Right now we can tell you a report was filed by the family of a 12 year old boy yesterday afternoon alleging Mr. Michael Jackson of criminal activity. A search warrant has been filed and that search is currently taking place. Mr. Jackson has not been charged with any crime. We cannot specifically address the content of the police report as it is confidential information at the present time, however, we can confirm that Mr. Jackson forced the boy to listen to the Howard Stern show and watch the movie Private Parts over and over again."
And that, reminds me of this.aerius wrote: Which reminds me of yet another joke....
After hours of energetic sex with a blond, the guy goes to the kitchen to make a snack. His dick is all sore so he looks for something to help ease the pain, but finds nothing useful. So he pours himself a cold glass of milk and thinks "what the hell", and sticks his dick in it to cool it off and make it feel better. Right then the blond walks in on him and goes "OMG! So that's how you refill those things!".
「かかっ―」