I just cut my penis on a slice of stale bread

Soontir C'boath · Post by **Soontir C'boath** » 2003-08-29 09:19am

Hmmm maybe if Hamel have a digi cam he can take a couple shots just for you Bored.

~Jason.

BoredShirtless · Post by **BoredShirtless** » 2003-08-29 09:32am

Soontir C'boath wrote:Hmmm maybe if Hamel have a digi cam he can take a couple shots just for you Bored. ~Jason.

No pics, he may actually cut his dick for the camera.

Haaaamelllll, there's a flaw in your story which gave you away...

Pu-239 · Post by **Pu-239** » 2003-08-29 10:30am

GrandAdmiralPrawn wrote:Hey Hamel, enjoy!
http://www.back-off-bitch.net/gal/ftv/a ... age015.jpg

Doesn't nude pictures of teens technically count as child porn?

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-08-29 10:32am

Pu-239 wrote:
GrandAdmiralPrawn wrote:Hey Hamel, enjoy!
http://www.back-off-bitch.net/gal/ftv/a ... age015.jpg

Doesn't nude pictures of teens technically count as child porn?

They have to be under 18.

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2003-08-29 12:12pm

Sea Skimmer wrote:
Pu-239 wrote:
GrandAdmiralPrawn wrote:Hey Hamel, enjoy!
http://www.back-off-bitch.net/gal/ftv/a ... age015.jpg

Doesn't nude pictures of teens technically count as child porn?

They have to be under 18.

And in a sexually compromising position.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-08-29 12:34pm

Stormbringer wrote:I don't know. This is SD.net, it's practically freak central. I mean Einhander told us about his masturbation misfire,

Note to Self:

Is Not Recommended.

Stormbringer wrote:and who can forget Hemlock vs the cat?

Or ME vs the cat!!!

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-08-29 12:36pm

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote: Note to Self:
[img]http://www.snopes.com/military/graphics/gore.jpg[img]

Is Not Recommended.

There is no magazine in the weapon, but its still a bad habit to ever have.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-08-29 01:07pm

Wait, why didn't you dress when you got out of the shower?

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-08-29 01:16pm

Yeah! No we're getting back to where we should be!

Well, I feel for you. Now when you whack off it's going going to just irritate the cut make it worse. There's a dilemna. It's like, I could whack off and irritate the penis, or I could abstain and just let it get better. How in hell could anyone abstain? I guess you could cut down the whacking off. You know, like weening yourself off the ween.

Man I feel for you.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-08-29 02:16pm

HemlockGrey wrote:Wait, why didn't you dress when you got out of the shower?

Why didn't you dress when you got out of the shower?

Glass house, Hemlock. Glass house.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-08-29 02:17pm

innerbrat wrote:
HemlockGrey wrote:Wait, why didn't you dress when you got out of the shower?
Why didn't you dress when you got out of the shower?

Glass house, Hemlock. Glass house.

I don't think he had time.

Post by **Coyote** » 2003-08-29 03:00pm

Gil Hamilton wrote:Why the hell are you telling us about this? Why aren't you getting medical condition?

I think he's bullshitting. Anyone who cut his dick wouldn't immediately log on to a message board to tell people about it.

This is an SDnetter you're talking about. C'mon.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-08-29 03:10pm

Why didn't you dress when you got out of the shower?

Glass house, Hemlock. Glass house.

Hey, hey, listen!

I hadn't completely showered yet; the water was on downstairs and so I wrapped a towel around myself with the intention of going back up and finishing my shower.

Now, according to Hamel's story, he got out of the shower, dried off, heard the phone, walked out of the bathroom, picked up the phone, sat down at his computer, bit the toast, and cut his dick.

But he said he was naked when he got out of the shower and proceeded to cut his dick. But then he mentioned he had blood all over his underwear. So either he cut his dick and then proceeded to put on underwear whilst it was bleeding like crazy, or he had put on underwear while leaving the shower and either dropped the piece of stale bread into his undies, or his dick was somehow sticking out.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-08-29 03:13pm

HemlockGrey wrote:But he said he was naked when he got out of the shower and proceeded to cut his dick. But then he mentioned he had blood all over his underwear. So either he cut his dick and then proceeded to put on underwear whilst it was bleeding like crazy, or he had put on underwear while leaving the shower and either dropped the piece of stale bread into his undies, or his dick was somehow sticking out.

Now, he was at his computer.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-08-29 03:15pm

...and talking with his gay friend...

Kamakazie Sith · Post by **Kamakazie Sith** » 2003-08-29 03:20pm

.....I think I've heard everything now.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-08-29 03:51pm

I thought this thread would be sick, but in fact ti's quite funny. I now know another reason why not to let your cat(s) upstairs that isn't to do with them crapping on beds.

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-08-29 03:57pm

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:I'd light a candle and say a prayer for your penis, Hamel, but we're not allowed to have them in the dorms and I'm not religious...

The candle or the penis?

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2003-08-29 04:16pm

I think he cut his penis, tried to do something about it, put on his undewear, informed us about it, then felt something wet, found the blood all over his underwear, then informed us again, then did the hydrogen peroxide thing, then informed us again, etc.

Sektor31 · Post by **Sektor31** » 2003-08-30 12:24am

You know, when I read the topic I thought you were slicing bread and accidently cut your penis off with a knife...

Spyder · Post by **Spyder** » 2003-08-30 01:58am

I may be mistaking but wont applying peroxide to the groin area cause slight blonding?

Lilith · Post by **Lilith** » 2003-08-30 02:03am

I don't want to take away from your pain but this is the funniest thread I've read.

You know John Bobbit recovered and has a new career to boot...

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-08-30 02:31am

just cause im a nerd..

hydrogen peroxide is toxic because it literaly burns your flesh. it breaks down into water and free-radical oxygen which oxidizes things nicely.

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2003-08-30 02:42am

All I have to say is:

I think this is just more proof that Hamel isn't actually typing in English, but rather an alien language/pure gibberish that only coincidentally looks like English (albiet ending up as deranged sentences and subjects).

There is no way we can be actually talking about Hamel cutting his penis on a piece of bread and Hamel actually cutting himself, at the very least. Maybe he really is intentionally typing about it, but I highly doubt this is a true story.

Either that, or Hamel is *just* that messed-up.

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2003-08-30 05:11am

Now *I* have seen everything...