I just cut my penis on a slice of stale bread

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InnerBrat
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Post by InnerBrat »

Lilith wrote:I don't want to take away from your pain but this is the funniest thread I've read.
It's fuinny because it's never going to happen to us ;)
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Post by Captain Cyran »

Darth Utsanomiko wrote:Either that, or Hamel is *just* that messed-up. :?
In this board? I say he's that messed up.
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Post by DPDarkPrimus »

innerbrat wrote: It's fuinny because it's never going to happen to us ;)
*sings the jingle from the old "Operation" board game ads*
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Post by Hamel »

I speak no English.
"Right now we can tell you a report was filed by the family of a 12 year old boy yesterday afternoon alleging Mr. Michael Jackson of criminal activity. A search warrant has been filed and that search is currently taking place. Mr. Jackson has not been charged with any crime. We cannot specifically address the content of the police report as it is confidential information at the present time, however, we can confirm that Mr. Jackson forced the boy to listen to the Howard Stern show and watch the movie Private Parts over and over again."
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Post by Xenophobe3691 »

Hamel wrote:I speak no English.
¿Hablas español?
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Post by Soontir C'boath »

Nee Stowinah?~Jason
I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season."
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Post by Captain Cyran »

Eeckspay igpay atinlay?
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Post by neoolong »

innerbrat wrote:
Lilith wrote:I don't want to take away from your pain but this is the funniest thread I've read.
It's fuinny because it's never going to happen to us ;)
Yup, that's what humor is. Bad stuff happening to other people.
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Post by J »

Spyder wrote:I may be mistaking but wont applying peroxide to the groin area cause slight blonding?
It will indeed as peroxide is used to help bleach hair to lighter shades. Pretty nasty stuff that peroxide, though I'm quite sure the stuff they use for hair is significantly stronger than the antiseptic mix that Hamel used.
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Post by Crayz9000 »

Vorlon1701 wrote:¿Hablas español?
Si, pero yo necesito mucho mas practica.

(los acentos no funcionan en Linux, btw)
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Post by Coyote »

Hamel wrote:I speak no English.
Medaber Ivrit?
Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

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Post by XaLEv »

Nihongo hanasu?
innerbrat wrote: It's fuinny because it's never going to happen to us ;)
Yep. Their tentacles have built in energy shielding and point defense lasers.
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Post by InnerBrat »

XaLEv wrote:Yep. Their tentacles have built in energy shielding and point defense lasers.
And do not contain blood.
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Post by XaLEv »

innerbrat wrote: And do not contain blood.
LCL is blood! :x
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Post by Colonel Olrik »

Façam o favor de não me spamarem mais o fórum :x

Se não kickasso-vos a todos, um por um!
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Post by Oberleutnant »

So . . . uh, what's the current situation? :? :P
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Post by haas mark »

innerbrat wrote:
Lilith wrote:I don't want to take away from your pain but this is the funniest thread I've read.
It's fuinny because it's never going to happen to us ;)
[decides that you can still cut yourself own there provided you are sitting there naked.] :P Just because you don't have penii doesn't mean that you can't be vulnerable to being cut in the genital region.

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Post by haas mark »

Colonel Olrik wrote:Façam o favor de não me spamarem mais o fórum :x

Se não kickasso-vos a todos, um por um!
[attempts to translate]

[something about not spamming Olrik's forum] :x

I'll kick your all your asses, one by one!

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Post by Lord Pounder »

Wow i really shouldn't have read this. I woke half my house laughing. The one person i didn't wake was my mum who sleeps on her good ear. I feel for ya Hamel. Try and keep a stiff upper lip son, coz christ knows if anything else gets stiff you're gonna die.
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Post by XaLEv »

Sorry Aranha. :oops:
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Post by Zaia »

verilon wrote:[decides that you can still cut yourself own there provided you are sitting there naked.] :P Just because you don't have penii doesn't mean that you can't be vulnerable to being cut in the genital region.

~ver
Yeah, but we'd have to go really far out of our way to do so. I mean, REALLY far. Even farther than sitting at computers naked whilst clumsily eating stale bread. Like, to the point where we're saying to ourselves, "Gee, Self, I'm a bit bored. Perhaps I shall slice my labia with some crusty old bread because it will give me something to do. Or maybe it'd be more fun to try to stab my clitoris with it. Bread is fun. Wheee."

I don't think so.
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Post by RogueIce »

Zaia wrote:Yeah, but we'd have to go really far out of our way to do so. I mean, REALLY far. Even farther than sitting at computers naked whilst clumsily eating stale bread. Like, to the point where we're saying to ourselves, "Gee, Self, I'm a bit bored. Perhaps I shall slice my labia with some crusty old bread because it will give me something to do. Or maybe it'd be more fun to try to stab my clitoris with it. Bread is fun. Wheee."

I don't think so.
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Post by aerius »

But if a chick was holding a piece of crusty stale bread in her hand and she got startled by say...a ringing phone or something, she could accidentally nick her nipple with the bread while trying to put the bread down and pick up the phone or something. Hey, you never know, afterall I didn't think it was possible for a person to do what Hamel did. :D
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Post by Zaia »

RogueIce wrote:
Zaia wrote:<snip>
I don't think so.
Where's your sense of adventure?
Out stabbing its clitoris with sharp 'n' pointy bread. Duh. :D



aerius: Yeah, maybe, but nipples = genitals? Not in my country. :P
Last edited by Zaia on 2003-08-30 11:35pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by RogueIce »

Zaia wrote:
RogueIce wrote:
Zaia wrote:<snip>
I don't think so.
Where's your sense of adventure?
Out stabbing its clitoris with sharp 'n' pointy bread. Duh. :D
Oh yeah.

So, I take it I shouldn't order any bread products when I eventually get up to Maryland and have dinner with you, lest you think I'm plotting some evil scheme with your sense of adventure? :wink:
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This is the price of war,
We rise with noble intentions,
And we risk all that is pure..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, Forever (Rome: Total War)

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The war continues on..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, We Are All One (Medieval 2: Total War)
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