Suicide Attempt (no cause for concern)

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-08-30 11:44pm

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:
verilon wrote:He's negative. I can't move out. ANd besides, he's leaving next month.
Well there ya go. That should be a big step away from depression right there.

"Huzzah! An asshole is exiting my life!"

That's the way I'm looking at it, but I'm trying to get around the rest of the stuff, which seemingly has no cause.

~ver

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-08-30 11:44pm

Well I JUST learned that the girl I'm talking to who REPLIED TO MY ONLINE PERSONAL AD just said she only wants friendship, and I was *really* looking forward to her and I becoming more than online friends. Hopefully I come into contact with a Dune style stoneburner soon or at least a 9mm.

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2003-08-30 11:46pm

When I get depressed it helps to listen to depressing music and watch depressing movies. I have no idea why that works.

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-08-30 11:46pm

verilon wrote:First off, you should know I'm only physically violent against myself, and if I differ from his opinion, not only is he an arrogant fuck that thinks he's better than the entire human race (and no, I'm not exaggerating), but he starts to get physical if I try. I may look nice and strong, but I'm anything but. That and I dislike confrontation.

~ver

Well, maybe that's something you need to work on, this dislike of confrontation.

You just gotta stand up for yourself sometimes.

And UV83: What the fuck??

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-08-30 11:50pm

God I fucking hate people I'm about to go Hannibal on everyone's ass.

Alright, fuck it. I give up. I'm going to go asexual. Anyone know any sites that teach you to kill your sex drives? I don't want to cut my balls off or anything, because I'd like to have kids in the future if I ever meet a girl desperate enough to touch me.

I don't get it. I'm not ugly, and I'm not too fat. I guess I just project an aura of "don't get near me, I'm a creep" or something.

Sorry to hijack the thread, but the subject matter fits this post.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-08-30 11:53pm

RogueIce wrote:Well, maybe that's something you need to work on, this dislike of confrontation.

You just gotta stand up for yourself sometimes.

Seriously. Take karate or some shit like that. Not that you need to. Being a small guy, you learn to fight dirty. Several sucker-punches or ferocious-kicks-to-the-groin later, and any fucktard'll cower at your mere presence.

BWAHAHAHA! I'm so smashingly evvvilllll!

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-08-30 11:55pm

Demiurge wrote:When I get depressed it helps to listen to depressing music and watch depressing movies. I have no idea why that works.

Ditto.

~ver

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-08-30 11:56pm

Oh, boy! NIN! That and the Korn treatment should drain me of anguish!

Can't listen to Manson, though. He's too happy.

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-08-30 11:56pm

RogueIce wrote:
verilon wrote:First off, you should know I'm only physically violent against myself, and if I differ from his opinion, not only is he an arrogant fuck that thinks he's better than the entire human race (and no, I'm not exaggerating), but he starts to get physical if I try. I may look nice and strong, but I'm anything but. That and I dislike confrontation.

~ver
Well, maybe that's something you need to work on, this dislike of confrontation.

You just gotta stand up for yourself sometimes.

Standing up to him = me being arrogant (to him) = me feeling like shit because i can't say anything. It's no big deal, though, he's LEAVING.

~ver

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-08-30 11:57pm

UltraViolence83 wrote:Oh, boy! NIN! That and the Korn treatment should drain me of anguish!

Can't listen to Manson, though. He's too happy.

Try some good goth music. That's depressing music.

~ver

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-08-30 11:58pm

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:
RogueIce wrote:Well, maybe that's something you need to work on, this dislike of confrontation.

You just gotta stand up for yourself sometimes.
Seriously. Take karate or some shit like that. Not that you need to. Being a small guy, you learn to fight dirty. Several sucker-punches or ferocious-kicks-to-the-groin later, and any fucktard'll cower at your mere presence.

BWAHAHAHA! I'm so smashingly evvvilllll!

Remember where I said he was in prison? Yeah. Not that I want to go into the whole deal, but yeah.

~ver

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-08-30 11:58pm

verilon wrote:
Demiurge wrote:When I get depressed it helps to listen to depressing music and watch depressing movies. I have no idea why that works.
Ditto.

~ver

Ametuer (sp - I know how to spell it normally, really!) Hour at the Psych Club!

It makes you see other people's problems, and on a subconsciences (not even gonna try that right now...) level lets you know that hey, your problems aren't that bad...

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-08-30 11:59pm

RogueIce wrote:
verilon wrote:
Demiurge wrote:When I get depressed it helps to listen to depressing music and watch depressing movies. I have no idea why that works.
Ditto.

~ver
Ametuer (sp - I know how to spell it normally, really!) Hour at the Psych Club!

It makes you see other people's problems, and on a subconsciences (not even gonna try that right now...) level lets you know that hey, your problems aren't that bad...

Hence why depressed people are the best meds for depressed people.

And it's "amateur."

~ver

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-08-31 12:01am

verilon wrote:Hence why depressed people are the best meds for depressed people.

Well there ya go! Give me a degree and a couch and I'm all set!

verilon wrote:And it's "amateur."

~ver

I knew that. I really did.

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2003-08-31 12:04am

RogueIce wrote: Ametuer (sp - I know how to spell it normally, really!) Hour at the Psych Club!

Hmmm... Maybe depressing music represents the penis, and depressing movies represent a subconscious need to have sex with your... Oh, nevermind.

Drewcifer · Post by **Drewcifer** » 2003-08-31 03:23am

Ah, wallowing in depressing music...sometimes one of my favorite things. It can be a fine line though. Although it's often carthartic, other times it can makes things worse.

Anyhow, sounds like you need your meds adjusted, or try a different 'script. It can take months to find the right medication and dosage to alleviate depression. Remember, chronic clincal depression is the result of wacky brain chemistry, namely fucked up serotonin levels.

In the past, sometimes it would help me to be very analytical about my situation, remembering that the way I felt was often a product of my brain chemistry, not me (so to speak). Or more to the point, anything to get my brain more in a logical mode, rather than an emotional mode.

I also have found that eating (and sleeping

) on a schedule and eating healthy foods helped a lot too, giving my body and brain the rest and nutrition needed to keep blood sugar and neurotransmitters on a more even line. Like eating at the same times every day, eating lots of fruits and fish, and staying away from carb-heavy meals and foods.

Too, avoiding things and situations that depress you can help as well. Not always possible (roomate), but it's worth keeping that in mind too.

And if nothing else, I will tell you this: it can get better. I started taking meds about a month ago and my life has made a 180 degree turnaround. I was lucky that the meds helped me so much, but I've been freed from the terrible down swings that depression can bring. I still have problems, but now I can attack my state of mind logically and rationally, and my feelings don't get in the way, or at least, they don't send me into tailspins like they used too. (pm me and we'll meet on AIM if you want to talk about it more).

OK. Long ass post

Throw away your syringes, and hang in there, K?

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-08-31 05:10am

1- yes, i do need to add in an anti depressant.
2- this was 2 1/2 years ago and although i've contemplated committing suicide since, it's never been a serious consideration.
3- although i might have clinical depression, what i DO have is some sort of mood disorder, which is called bipolar type II (extreme depressions, but no fully-developed manias) with a rapid-cycling variation (rapid-cycling is 4+ times a year, I sometimes have as many as 8 cycles, or episodes, in a month).

~ver

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-08-31 09:12am

I feel for you Ver. Don't let it drag you down. Misery likes company but don't feed it. Do what ever you can to take your mind off it. I usually use spoof comedies to relieve my mood. Alcohol is also a last case solution.

Worst comes to worst try listening to The Show Must Go On by Queen and listen to the lyrics dammit. Thats what did it for me after i took my overdose.

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2003-08-31 09:47am

If it is your attempt that is making you depressed, maybe try to look at your life then and why you did it, and look at your life now and how you've changed and grown and what you've learned from your experience. If you're afraid you might try again, maybe doing this will show you that you don't need to anymore. If you're depressed because you're 'one of those people who tried to commit suicide' than maybe you'll see that you're past that now. I don't know. I don't know what it's like to need to take meds for your brain chemistry.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-08-31 12:47pm

Well, let's see. My main ways for getting out of depresion include:

Type o negative, both depressing sounding but fairly funny carefree lyrics.

Cats - i love em! They really show affection, if they're good cats, making you feel wanted and needed, even if i am allergic, they're too sweet.

Making other people feel better through irreverance or an inspired personality.

Constructing another part of a plot in your imaginary-verse.

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-08-31 04:58pm

Mark S wrote:If it is your attempt that is making you depressed, maybe try to look at your life then and why you did it, and look at your life now and how you've changed and grown and what you've learned from your experience. If you're afraid you might try again, maybe doing this will show you that you don't need to anymore. If you're depressed because you're 'one of those people who tried to commit suicide' than maybe you'll see that you're past that now. I don't know. I don't know what it's like to need to take meds for your brain chemistry.

Funny thing is, it's not msking me depressed. In fact, even though I've been depressed for a few days, I just woke up and I'm doing GREAT. Well, I hope. House sitting is a wonderful thing... We'll see what happens when I get to the other apartment.

~ver

Hyperion · Post by **Hyperion** » 2003-08-31 06:58pm

Ver, remember that if you are feeling depressed or worse, or just needing someone to talk to, you do have my number. And of course don't forget that I will be there on the 9th.