When I was young I prayed to God for a Bike
Then I relized God did not work that way
So I stole a Bike and Prayed for Forgivness
~Unknow
Got any more classic quotes fokes?
(Time for sleep for me)
Useful.. Timeless Quote
Moderator: Edi
Useful.. Timeless Quote
"A cult is a religion with no political power." -Tom Wolfe
Pardon me for sounding like a dick, but I'm playing the tiniest violin in the world right now-Dalton
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IDMR
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This belongs to the Off Topic forum. And see my signature for two quotes.
"Intellectual rigor annoys people because it interferes with the pleasure they derive from allowing their wishes to be the fathers of their thoughts." - George F. Will
"If theory and reality diverges, change reality." - Josef Stalin
"If theory and reality diverges, change reality." - Josef Stalin
Good one beano. while this is not really a saying, and more a joke, I'll still post it.
A high school girl, who is the daughter of the local preacher) goes out on night with her boyfriend. Instead of returning at 11pm like she is supposed to, she returns at 1 am. When she comes home she is met by her father. He says," Come and explain yourself O ye Daughter of Satan." To this she replys, " If I'm the daughter od Satan, what does that makr you?"
A high school girl, who is the daughter of the local preacher) goes out on night with her boyfriend. Instead of returning at 11pm like she is supposed to, she returns at 1 am. When she comes home she is met by her father. He says," Come and explain yourself O ye Daughter of Satan." To this she replys, " If I'm the daughter od Satan, what does that makr you?"
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Ai Phling Pu
- Youngling
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Ewww hehehehe. Okay, here's one:
A Catholic schoolgirl wanders into Confessional one afternoon, completely dazed. She says, "Forgive me, Fadder, fer I have sinned."
"And how hard you sinned, me child?" asks the priest.
"Well, Fadder," says she, "Night before last, I slept with Brian Muldoon outta wedlock."
"And why is it you come to confess so long after?" asks the priest.
The girl replies, "Because last night, I slept with Mickey O'Hara outta wedlock."
The priest becomes even more perturbed, "Still, why didn't you come to me straightaway this morning to confess, girl? It's nearly evening now!"
"Because," the girl replies matter-of-factly, "This mornin', I slept with the both of them at the same time!"
There is a long moment of silence in the booth, after which the Father says slowly, "All right, young lady; here's what you do. Go straightaway home, and stand yourself in a dark room with a bottle of lemon juice. Then turn about three times, recite the Hail Mary ten times, and put a drop of lemon juice in each eye."
The girl in plainly confused. "And will that grant me absolution, Fadder?"
"No," replies the priest, "But it'll take that fucking smile off yer face!"
A Catholic schoolgirl wanders into Confessional one afternoon, completely dazed. She says, "Forgive me, Fadder, fer I have sinned."
"And how hard you sinned, me child?" asks the priest.
"Well, Fadder," says she, "Night before last, I slept with Brian Muldoon outta wedlock."
"And why is it you come to confess so long after?" asks the priest.
The girl replies, "Because last night, I slept with Mickey O'Hara outta wedlock."
The priest becomes even more perturbed, "Still, why didn't you come to me straightaway this morning to confess, girl? It's nearly evening now!"
"Because," the girl replies matter-of-factly, "This mornin', I slept with the both of them at the same time!"
There is a long moment of silence in the booth, after which the Father says slowly, "All right, young lady; here's what you do. Go straightaway home, and stand yourself in a dark room with a bottle of lemon juice. Then turn about three times, recite the Hail Mary ten times, and put a drop of lemon juice in each eye."
The girl in plainly confused. "And will that grant me absolution, Fadder?"
"No," replies the priest, "But it'll take that fucking smile off yer face!"
"Now you shall feel the power of the -- aarrrgh! Arr... eeuuughhhh..."
"Concession accepted, Lord Vader."
--The Unnameable
"Concession accepted, Lord Vader."
--The Unnameable
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Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
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Anarchist Bunny
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Stupid man give wife Grand Piano. Smart man give wife Upright Organ.
Baseball Wrong: Man with 4 Balls cannot Walk.
Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash.
My grandmother's brain was dead, but her heart was still beating. It was the first time we ever had a democrat in the family.
My ex-girlfriend was very sexy. She reminded me of the Sphinx because she was very mysterious and eternal and solid...and her nose was shot off by French soldiers.
Baseball Wrong: Man with 4 Balls cannot Walk.
Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash.
My grandmother's brain was dead, but her heart was still beating. It was the first time we ever had a democrat in the family.
My ex-girlfriend was very sexy. She reminded me of the Sphinx because she was very mysterious and eternal and solid...and her nose was shot off by French soldiers.