Why Men Die First

OT: anything goes!

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Tsyroc
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Why Men Die First

Post by Tsyroc »

WHY MEN DIE FIRST

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries......but, now we
know.

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat
race...you're a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework...you're a pansy.

If you work too hard...there's never any time for her.

If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay...this is exploitation.

If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay.....you should get off
your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her.....that is favoritism.

If she gets a job ahead of you......it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks......it's sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet..........it's male indifference.

If you cry............you're a wimp.

If you don't........you're an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her.........you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you......she's a liberated
woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy....... that's domination.

If SHE asks you.........it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear......you're a
pervert.

If you don't..............you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in
shape..............you're sexist.

If you don't.................you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape................you're vain.

If you don't................you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers.............you're after something.

If you don't....................you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements........ you're full of yourself.

If you don't....................you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache............she's tired.

If you have a headache.............you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often.........you're oversexed.

If you don't..........there must be someone else.



Men die first because they want to. :)
By the pricking of my thumb,
Something wicked this way comes.
Open, locks,
Whoever knocks.
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Post by fgalkin »

Lol. :lol:

Have a very nice day.
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Post by Ghost Rider »

Quiet, you are revealing secret #241873. :P
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Post by Keevan_Colton »

Ghost Rider wrote:Quiet, you are revealing secret #241873. :P
No no no, that's the one about ESPN, the black helicopters and tinfoil....this is #241874 :)
"Prodesse Non Nocere."
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Post by Mitth`raw`nuruodo »

Keevan_Colton wrote:
Ghost Rider wrote:Quiet, you are revealing secret #241873. :P
No no no, that's the one about ESPN, the black helicopters and tinfoil....this is #241874 :)
No, thats the one about hamburgers and bowel movements, this is #196484
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Post by Keevan_Colton »

Mitth`raw`nuruodo wrote: No, thats the one about hamburgers and bowel movements, this is #196484
Isnt that the one about exercise bikes and rabbi's?
"Prodesse Non Nocere."
"It's all about popularity really, if your invisible friend that tells you to invade places is called Napoleon, you're a loony, if he's called Jesus then you're the president."
"I'd drive more people insane, but I'd have to double back and pick them up first..."
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Post by RogueIce »

Keevan_Colton wrote:
Mitth`raw`nuruodo wrote: No, thats the one about hamburgers and bowel movements, this is #196484
Isnt that the one about exercise bikes and rabbi's?
No, that's #6.

Yes, it's that important.
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Post by Andrew J. »

This is gonna turn into a flamewar 10 minutes after the first female posts in it, I just know. >_<
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Post by Shinova »

Andrew J. wrote:This is gonna turn into a flamewar 10 minutes after the first female posts in it, I just know. >_<
None of our females are feminazis so I don't think it'll be like that.



But it's funny. And in general, pretty true also.
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Post by Demiurge »

Right, and if a woman does most anything, then it's "empowering."
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Post by Nathan F »

Heheh, so true, so true...
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Post by Darth Garden Gnome »

*Tsyroc is belted in the nuts with a soccer ball*

When soccer moms atta--...er...act in self-defense!!!


Otherwise....funny stuff. :wink:
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Post by The Silence and I »

ROFL! Nice piece there... :D
(I suspect it far more true than I want it to be)
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Post by Agent R »

Hit the nail right on the head, that one! :lol:

Someone should put all that on a T-shirt.....
No conscience. No law. No stopping them....

....well, maybe a Happy Meal would do it.

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Tsyroc
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Post by Tsyroc »

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:*Tsyroc is belted in the nuts with a soccer ball*

When soccer moms atta--...er...act in self-defense!!!



Otherwise....funny stuff. :wink:


Doesn't that kind of reinforce the reason behind men dying first? :D
By the pricking of my thumb,
Something wicked this way comes.
Open, locks,
Whoever knocks.
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Post by Xenophobe3691 »

ROFL, so true, so true. Being one of the only guys in my entire grade that was nice and polite to women, it's surprising how many of them think lowly of that...
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Post by Zaia »

LOL
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Post by LadyTevar »

Cute!
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Post by InnerBrat »

You two are just trying to prove it's not going to be a flamewar!

Incidentally, a lot of those are to do with male-imposed stereotypes on their own gender, so :P
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Post by Lord MJ »

The biggest:


If a man does something that hurts a woman, and the woman comfronts the man about it, she's standing up for herself.


A a woman does something that hurts a man, and the man confronts the woman about it, he's harassing her.
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Post by Zaia »

innerbrat wrote:You two are just trying to prove it's not going to be a flamewar!

Incidentally, a lot of those are to do with male-imposed stereotypes on their own gender, so :P
That's very true, but I also did laugh out loud. For the record. :D
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Post by Chardok »

Keevan_Colton wrote:
Mitth`raw`nuruodo wrote: No, thats the one about hamburgers and bowel movements, this is #196484
Isnt that the one about exercise bikes and rabbi's?

Exercise bike's and rabbi's is #156745
By the way, for posterity, guys, don't forget #200012: The one about Stables and empty plastic PEPSI (All important to remember it's PEPSI, not Coke) bottles. Oh, and ketchup.
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Post by Xenophobe3691 »

Chardok wrote:
Exercise bike's and rabbi's is #156745
By the way, for posterity, guys, don't forget #200012: The one about Stables and empty plastic PEPSI (All important to remember it's PEPSI, not Coke) bottles. Oh, and ketchup.
All ye hath forgotten #139652?!? You know, the one with power tools, beer, and a metric assload of paper maché?!? I know at least one of y'all's been saved by it...
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Post 666 Made on Fri Jul 04, 2003 @ 12:48 pm
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Post by Chardok »

Vorlon1701 wrote:
Chardok wrote:
Exercise bike's and rabbi's is #156745
By the way, for posterity, guys, don't forget #200012: The one about Stables and empty plastic PEPSI (All important to remember it's PEPSI, not Coke) bottles. Oh, and ketchup.
All ye hath forgotten #139652?!? You know, the one with power tools, beer, and a metric assload of paper maché?!? I know at least one of y'all's been saved by it...
FOOL! You have given away our most precious secret! Turn your penis in on your way out!!!
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Post by Xenophobe3691 »

Chardok wrote:
FOOL! You have given away our most precious secret! Turn your penis in on your way out!!!
No! I shall NEVER give it up! It is too important! And I might finally be getting to where I can use it! I'll NEVER give it up! NEVER!!!
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Post 666 Made on Fri Jul 04, 2003 @ 12:48 pm
Post 1337 made on Fri Aug 22, 2003 @ 9:18 am
Post 1492 Made on Fri Aug 29, 2003 @ 5:16 pm

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