Why Men Die First
Moderator: Edi
Why Men Die First
WHY MEN DIE FIRST
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries......but, now we
know.
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat
race...you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework...you're a pansy.
If you work too hard...there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay...this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay.....you should get off
your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her.....that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you......it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks......it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet..........it's male indifference.
If you cry............you're a wimp.
If you don't........you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her.........you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you......she's a liberated
woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy....... that's domination.
If SHE asks you.........it's a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear......you're a
pervert.
If you don't..............you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in
shape..............you're sexist.
If you don't.................you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape................you're vain.
If you don't................you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers.............you're after something.
If you don't....................you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements........ you're full of yourself.
If you don't....................you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache............she's tired.
If you have a headache.............you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often.........you're oversexed.
If you don't..........there must be someone else.
Men die first because they want to.
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries......but, now we
know.
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat
race...you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework...you're a pansy.
If you work too hard...there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay...this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay.....you should get off
your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her.....that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you......it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks......it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet..........it's male indifference.
If you cry............you're a wimp.
If you don't........you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her.........you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you......she's a liberated
woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy....... that's domination.
If SHE asks you.........it's a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear......you're a
pervert.
If you don't..............you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in
shape..............you're sexist.
If you don't.................you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape................you're vain.
If you don't................you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers.............you're after something.
If you don't....................you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements........ you're full of yourself.
If you don't....................you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache............she's tired.
If you have a headache.............you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often.........you're oversexed.
If you don't..........there must be someone else.
Men die first because they want to.
By the pricking of my thumb,
Something wicked this way comes.
Open, locks,
Whoever knocks.
Something wicked this way comes.
Open, locks,
Whoever knocks.
- Ghost Rider
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No no no, that's the one about ESPN, the black helicopters and tinfoil....this is #241874Ghost Rider wrote:Quiet, you are revealing secret #241873.
"Prodesse Non Nocere."
"It's all about popularity really, if your invisible friend that tells you to invade places is called Napoleon, you're a loony, if he's called Jesus then you're the president."
"I'd drive more people insane, but I'd have to double back and pick them up first..."
"All it takes for bullshit to thrive is for rational men to do nothing." - Kevin Farrell, B.A. Journalism.
BOTM - EBC - Horseman - G&C - Vampire
"It's all about popularity really, if your invisible friend that tells you to invade places is called Napoleon, you're a loony, if he's called Jesus then you're the president."
"I'd drive more people insane, but I'd have to double back and pick them up first..."
"All it takes for bullshit to thrive is for rational men to do nothing." - Kevin Farrell, B.A. Journalism.
BOTM - EBC - Horseman - G&C - Vampire
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No, thats the one about hamburgers and bowel movements, this is #196484Keevan_Colton wrote:No no no, that's the one about ESPN, the black helicopters and tinfoil....this is #241874Ghost Rider wrote:Quiet, you are revealing secret #241873.
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My Audioscrobbler
Cult of Vin Diesel - When you mix Vin Diesel with a strong acid you get salt water.
My Audioscrobbler
Cult of Vin Diesel - When you mix Vin Diesel with a strong acid you get salt water.
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Isnt that the one about exercise bikes and rabbi's?Mitth`raw`nuruodo wrote: No, thats the one about hamburgers and bowel movements, this is #196484
"Prodesse Non Nocere."
"It's all about popularity really, if your invisible friend that tells you to invade places is called Napoleon, you're a loony, if he's called Jesus then you're the president."
"I'd drive more people insane, but I'd have to double back and pick them up first..."
"All it takes for bullshit to thrive is for rational men to do nothing." - Kevin Farrell, B.A. Journalism.
BOTM - EBC - Horseman - G&C - Vampire
"It's all about popularity really, if your invisible friend that tells you to invade places is called Napoleon, you're a loony, if he's called Jesus then you're the president."
"I'd drive more people insane, but I'd have to double back and pick them up first..."
"All it takes for bullshit to thrive is for rational men to do nothing." - Kevin Farrell, B.A. Journalism.
BOTM - EBC - Horseman - G&C - Vampire
No, that's #6.Keevan_Colton wrote:Isnt that the one about exercise bikes and rabbi's?Mitth`raw`nuruodo wrote: No, thats the one about hamburgers and bowel movements, this is #196484
Yes, it's that important.
"How can I wait unknowing?
This is the price of war,
We rise with noble intentions,
And we risk all that is pure..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, Forever (Rome: Total War)
"On and on, through the years,
The war continues on..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, We Are All One (Medieval 2: Total War)
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon
"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." - Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight
This is the price of war,
We rise with noble intentions,
And we risk all that is pure..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, Forever (Rome: Total War)
"On and on, through the years,
The war continues on..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, We Are All One (Medieval 2: Total War)
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon
"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." - Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight
None of our females are feminazis so I don't think it'll be like that.Andrew J. wrote:This is gonna turn into a flamewar 10 minutes after the first female posts in it, I just know. >_<
But it's funny. And in general, pretty true also.
What's her bust size!?
It's over NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!!!!
It's over NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!!!!
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ROFL! Nice piece there...
(I suspect it far more true than I want it to be)
(I suspect it far more true than I want it to be)
"Do not worry, I have prepared something for just such an emergency."
"You're prepared for a giant monster made entirely of nulls stomping around Mainframe?!"
"That is correct!"
"How do you plan for that?"
"Uh... lucky guess?"
"You're prepared for a giant monster made entirely of nulls stomping around Mainframe?!"
"That is correct!"
"How do you plan for that?"
"Uh... lucky guess?"
Hit the nail right on the head, that one!
Someone should put all that on a T-shirt.....
Someone should put all that on a T-shirt.....
No conscience. No law. No stopping them....
....well, maybe a Happy Meal would do it.
Ka Anor needs test subjects!
I still think Furlings look like tribbles
....well, maybe a Happy Meal would do it.
Ka Anor needs test subjects!
I still think Furlings look like tribbles
Darth Garden Gnome wrote:*Tsyroc is belted in the nuts with a soccer ball*
When soccer moms atta--...er...act in self-defense!!!
Otherwise....funny stuff.
Doesn't that kind of reinforce the reason behind men dying first?
By the pricking of my thumb,
Something wicked this way comes.
Open, locks,
Whoever knocks.
Something wicked this way comes.
Open, locks,
Whoever knocks.
- Xenophobe3691
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Cute!
Nitram, slightly high on cough syrup: Do you know you're beautiful?
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet
You two are just trying to prove it's not going to be a flamewar!
Incidentally, a lot of those are to do with male-imposed stereotypes on their own gender, so
Incidentally, a lot of those are to do with male-imposed stereotypes on their own gender, so
"I fight with love, and I laugh with rage, you gotta live light enough to see the humour and long enough to see some change" - Ani DiFranco, Pick Yer Nose
"Life 's not a song, life isn't bliss, life is just this: it's living." - Spike, Once More with Feeling
"Life 's not a song, life isn't bliss, life is just this: it's living." - Spike, Once More with Feeling
That's very true, but I also did laugh out loud. For the record.innerbrat wrote:You two are just trying to prove it's not going to be a flamewar!
Incidentally, a lot of those are to do with male-imposed stereotypes on their own gender, so
"On the infrequent occasions when I have been called upon in a formal place to play the bongo drums, the introducer never seems to find it necessary to mention that I also do theoretical physics." -Richard Feynman
Keevan_Colton wrote:Isnt that the one about exercise bikes and rabbi's?Mitth`raw`nuruodo wrote: No, thats the one about hamburgers and bowel movements, this is #196484
Exercise bike's and rabbi's is #156745
By the way, for posterity, guys, don't forget #200012: The one about Stables and empty plastic PEPSI (All important to remember it's PEPSI, not Coke) bottles. Oh, and ketchup.
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All ye hath forgotten #139652?!? You know, the one with power tools, beer, and a metric assload of paper maché?!? I know at least one of y'all's been saved by it...Chardok wrote:
Exercise bike's and rabbi's is #156745
By the way, for posterity, guys, don't forget #200012: The one about Stables and empty plastic PEPSI (All important to remember it's PEPSI, not Coke) bottles. Oh, and ketchup.
FOOL! You have given away our most precious secret! Turn your penis in on your way out!!!Vorlon1701 wrote:All ye hath forgotten #139652?!? You know, the one with power tools, beer, and a metric assload of paper maché?!? I know at least one of y'all's been saved by it...Chardok wrote:
Exercise bike's and rabbi's is #156745
By the way, for posterity, guys, don't forget #200012: The one about Stables and empty plastic PEPSI (All important to remember it's PEPSI, not Coke) bottles. Oh, and ketchup.
- Xenophobe3691
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