Favorite Quotes

[Enigma]

Some of my favourite quotes are in my sig.

Where'd you get the one about the endless hordes of werewolf doggies?

Google says Baldur's Gate II.

Yup. The quote came from Dradeel a patient of an asylum.

[Mark S]

Most anything from Westerns with Eastwood.

"Are you gonna draw those irons or Wistle Dixie boys."

"It's all a lie, the white man is sneaking up on us for a long time."

and the "Present Company exempted" remark reguarding first Indians and then whites.

"You just shot an unarmed man!"
"He should have armed himself."

[Agent Fisher]

And when he gets to heaven
To Saint Peter he will tell
"One more soldier reporting sir,
I've served my time in hell."

That was the quote in the opening of medal of honor: frontline. I beleive it is also on a grave in france for one of the troops that died on D-Day

[Chardok]

Think ya used enough dynamite there, Butch?


'Nuff said.

[LadyTevar]

"She has been very naughty. You must tie her to a bed and spank her."
Yes Yes! A spanking, a spanking!
"And then... and then, we must all be spanked!"
Yes! YES! We must be spanked!
"and then the Oral Sex!...."

[Raptor 597]

"What profit has not that fable of Christ has brought us!" - Pope Leo X

I am surrounded by priests who repeat incessently that their kingdom is not of this world, and yet they lay their hands on everything they can get.- Napoleon I

"I think the Union Army had something to do with it." - Major General George E. Pickett after the Civil War about failing too take Cemetery Ridge

"I fight where I'm told to, and I fight too win." - George S. Patton Jr.

"I believe in Spinoza's God, who revealed himself in the harmony of all being, not in the God who concerns himself with the fate and actions of men," Albert Einstein

"God does not play dice," Albert Einstein

"God is subtle, not malicious," Albert Einstein

"Stop telling God what to do!!!", Niels Bohr to Albert Einstein

Scam e-mails replace oil as the chief export of Nigeria. - 1997


The only thing chess players have in common is chess. - Lodewijk Prins

Checkers is for tramps. - Paul Morphy

The Game of Chess:
"Chess is a form of intellectual productiveness. Therein lies its peculiar charm. Intellectual productiveness is one of the greatest joys --- if not the greatest one --- of human existence. It is not everyone who can write a play, or build a bridge, or even make a good joke. But in chess everyone can, everyone must, be intellectually productive and so can share in this select delight. I have always a slight feeling of pity for the man who has no knowledge of chess, just as I would pity the man who has remained ignorant of love. Chess, like love, like music, has the power to make men happy". - Siegbert Tarrasch
Chess is too difficult to be a game, and not serious enough to be a science or an art. - Napoleon

Chess is eminently and emphatically the philosopher's game. - Paul Morphy

And my favorite and my motto - "Let us hope in these days of all-round mediocrity Reason is not wholly with partisans." - Emmanuel Lasker, Word Chess Champion

[Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi]

"So, those buttons help your breathe. Which one calls your parents to being you home?"- Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, to a guy in a Darth Vader suit at the premiere of AotC.

[Sea Skimmer]

"My Flanks are turned; my center gives way; I attack! –General Ferdinand Foch, Battle of the Marne River

[StarshipTitanic]

I haven't decided yet, but I like:

"Ahhhgggg!"
-Last Xon

[The Yosemite Bear]

"If Darkstar can just find these imaginary rings, he can pludge the whole of ASVS into darkness."-Something from another ASVSer that should have been FUQed around the time of the fellowship of the ring.....

[Peregrin Toker]

"Marge, with today's fuel prices we can't afford not to buy a pony!" - Homer Simpson

"For 40 years I have walked around with a skeleton inside me and I've first discovered it now!" - the protagonist of Ray Bradbury's horror story The Skeleton (Okay, it wasn't exactly that way he said it, but he meant something like that. It's probably one of the most unintentionally funny things I've ever read)

"We must find a common enemy so that we can unite." - Genghis Khan Temujin (again, that wasn't the exact words he said but he meant something like that - and Temujin was definately right that the easiest way to unite people is to find them a common enemy)

"The USA is the leading nation of the world. It is our duty to be more confused than any other country." - the President in Mad Magazine's parody of "Independence Day"

And a gem on the state of the music industry:

"In an age where bands seem to achieve dizzying heights of success solely based on the amount of times they can moan in contrived rage about how unbearable modern society is whilst accompanying such incessant drivel with seemingly the same three riffs again and again song after song, or how many naked breasts and expletives they can plaster over their album covers or t-shirts (aided of course by the corrupt and jaded media whose pockets are lined by record companies fervently handing over greenbacks to ensure their run of the mill acts are flavour of the month and will thus infiltrate the psyche of the more impressionable and deluded sheep-like masses who swallow such pap like baby birds awaiting regurgitated worms), true art is often ignored." - Bal-Sagoth vocalist Byron A. Roberts

[Pablo Sanchez]

"God will know his own."
--Papal representative responding to a question from a crusader asking what to do with a town populated partially by heretics and partially by Catholics.

I also cycle my favorite Stalin quotations through my sig.

[Lord Pounder]

Mine are in my sig.

I also like "The problem with democracy is that every dumb bastard gets a say" Anon.

[Shortie]

If it wasn't for brave American patriots fighting against British tyranny you'd all be speaking English now.

Anything worth undoing is probably fastened in the back.

Friendship (n.): Having someone who will skip your funeral so they can break into your home and get rid of your porn collection before your family gets back to sort out your belongings.

Demons have existed on the Discworld for at least as long as the gods, who in many cases they closely resemble. The difference is basically the same as that between terrorists and freedom fighters.
-Eric, Terry Pratchett

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that shit.

To be a man is, precisely, to be responsible.
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“Ships and sail proper for the heavenly air should be fashioned. Then there will also be people, who do not shrink from the dreary vastness of space.”
-Johannes Kepler, 1609

[Lord Pounder]

"Egos are like assholes, everybody has one" - Fred Durst

"Guinness is good for you" Arthur Guinness

[Zoink]

"Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games" -Jack Handy

"We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me." -Jack Handy

"Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done." -Jack Handy

"If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone." -Jack Handy

"I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him." -Jack Handy

[2000AD]

Wormholes are statistically possible via quantum mechanics. However, that doesn't count for much. By QM, it is also statistically possible that you will spontaneously teleport to Jupiter.
Darth Wong

Keep an open mind, but not so open that the brain falls out. - Chuck Sonnenburg

There is no need to add commentary to that page when a typical hamster could easily figure out what's wrong with it.
-Darth Wong on Darkstar's turbolaser vs handphase page.

Since the Force is an integral part of what makes a Jedi a Jedi, I agree that the "No Force" condition commonly stipulated in these kinds of crossovers is stupid.
Perhaps the thread should have been titled "Ranger vs a Jedi with both arms tied behind his back".
-Darth Wong

Panaka is a cop. That window could have been on PCP and come right back up itching for a fight after just one shot. A cop makes sure the perp stays down, even if the perp is a window.
Patric Ogaard on why Panaka shot the window more than once.

There's already an Alien vs. Predator conversion for Warcraft. It's called StarCraft.
Slartibartfast

In other words, he's just a whore who puts words on paper for money.
DPDarkprimus on KJA

That's insulting and demeaning to whore's everywhere.
Stormbringer's response to the above

It's like a live grenade. Quick, Ted, go jump on it and take one for the team.
Cal Wright

Come on now, let's be fair. They're French. 25% of the country is probably just hedging their bets in case they have to surrender to them.
Darth Wong

Fascinating. The Reality Check seems to have bounced.
Hemlock Grey

Allright; but one day that ass is gonna blow. And when it does, i just hope your not mooning someone you care about!
Futurama Mechanic

Earth first, make Mars our bitch!
Dale Gribble

Pal, your ahead of exactly two things right now. Jack and shit. I hate to tell you this, but Jack left town.
Cal Wright

First and for most the Star Destroyer's are not 1600 meters long they are longer then that they are over a mile long.
Nol Tel Sete - Idiot that e-mailed Dalton

Terminator has the speed and agility of young Marlon Brando. Robocop has the speed agility of present-day Marlon Brando.
Termie wins.
Admiral Kanos On T-800 vs Robo-cop

Its basically properganda. That may not be the most apropeite word but as you can see (or can't) it specifically targets each of DarkStars comments and comes up with reasons why it would not be true.
Chas_2003's reason for not reading Ossus' site after asking for evidence that Darkstar's site had been refuted

I agree that the Empire has more power. I agree the Empire has faster ships, I agree the Empire can have better shields, the Empire can have better Sensors, better Communications, better everything.
I have read the descriptions. I agree that the Empire has all of these things. That still does not prove that the Empire can beat the Federation in a war
SAR2

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes right to the fucking bone
Billy Connoly

Fuck handsome, rich wins!
Billy Connoly

I never forget a face, but in your case i'll make anexception.
Groucho marx

Why is it that someone who has the odd Star Trek video or ten and is know to once or twice put on a costume and pointy ears is considered weird, while someone who wakes up in their room with Manchester united wallpaper, in their bed with Manchester Utd bed covers in their MU pygamas, who then puts on their MU football kit and goes to watch MU every week is considered perfectly normal?
Terry Pratchett
(replace MU with a very popular sports team to adapt to places where football isn't popular or MU not well known.)

[LadyTevar]

"Save the Earth! It's the only planet with Chocolate!"

[The Yosemite Bear]

Shameless self promotion....


Fighting the Troll: Colin Brian Witz
Sir, Your preception of events conflicts so greatly with the vast majority of
the populace, here, Stardestroyer.net, and Space Battles, and even with the
perceptions of people who would be predisposed to try and support your side
(Edam, Alyesaka, The Baron), that only a limited number of posibilities occure.
1. You are suffering from a severe dissasociative conddition and as such can
not distiguish reality from your own imagination
2. You are a resident of another reality
3. You have been partaking in a large quanity of hallucinagenics and have not
been sharing them. (My personal theory)
4. There is a large quanity of mind control, and photo doctoring, going all the
way back to the ILM labs at Lucasfilm, as the scenes you discribe do not
corresspond with scripts, and visuals
5. You are the one true sane person, everyone else is an alien or a communist
or both, (Make sure to adjust your alunanum foil hat.


Strangely my favorite attack on someone...

[Faram]

"Nemo saltat sobrius" is latin, meaning "no-one dances sober".

This is a cut-down version of the classic quote which reads

"Nemo enim fere saltat sobrius, nisi forte insanit", which means "no-one dances sober, unless he is completely insane"!