I hate Hummers

[Admiral Valdemar]

Uh, on an unrelated topic, does anyone else see Colonel Olrik's sig as being one fuck-off huge page of nothing most the time?

[Colonel Olrik]

Uh, on an unrelated topic, does anyone else see Colonel Olrik's sig as being one fuck-off huge page of nothing most the time?

Uh? I see it fine, and it's small. If more people have that problem, please tell me.

[Admiral Valdemar]

Uh, on an unrelated topic, does anyone else see Colonel Olrik's sig as being one fuck-off huge page of nothing most the time?

Uh? I see it fine, and it's small. If more people have that problem, please tell me.

AAARGH!

The sig is, somehow, taking a full page up, I have to scroll down the max the bar will allow to see the next post.

This is most strange.

I'll try viewing this thread with IE and not Firebird, it may be my problem.

EDIT: Weird, IE is fine, yet this never happened before.

[Alferd Packer]

And I know of one instance in Papua New Guinea where a Hummer {one of the first ones IIRC} was beaten hands down by a Land Rover and Toyota Land Cruiser.

Possibul if they where both unloaded. Laden, no other 4x4 beats military grade Humvees.

Depends on the trail/terrain, too. Certain situations may favor the Land Rover's tire setup over the Hummer's. Hummers are ridiculously capable offroad, but they are also 8 feet wide. If you're on a trail which favors a narrow-width vehicle, the Hummer's going to have problems, given that the high-end 4x4s all have roughly the same traction capabilities.

But something like crawling over logs, the Humvee's excellent angles of approach and departure, as well as 16 inches of minimum ground clearance will prove its superiority. As well as water crossings. Although Land Rovers also have spouts for the differential air intakes, they're not typically up to to the roofline, like all intake and exhaust ports are on properly set-up Hummers. I think overall, the Hummers are simply the top of the heap.

Would I want one? Hell no. My truck's half the width and nearly half the weight of a Hummer (53" and 3,600 lbs, IIRC). I can crawl on and off trail with little difficulty. You don't need to have the best vehicle in the world to have the most fun.

Unless you have a small penis.

[The Third Man]

But something like crawling over logs, the Humvee's excellent angles of approach and departure, as well as 16 inches of minimum ground clearance will prove its superiority.

Agreed. That's a serious advantage.

As well as water crossings. Although Land Rovers also have spouts for the differential air intakes, they're not typically up to to the roofline, like all intake and exhaust ports are on properly set-up Hummers.

Hmmm. You can equip a Landy with roof-level intakes, its fairly common to see now (fitted that is, not actually in use ). I understood it was just a set of diff plugs not spouts that you fitted to the Landy to go wading?

My truck's half the width and nearly half the weight of a Hummer (53" and 3,600 lbs, IIRC).

Good point. What happens if you actually lose a Hummer? It's a lot of mass to be bringing back in line if you put it sideways. And I'm sure you can, doesn't really matter how many wheels are driven if you hit, say, sheet ice.

You don't need to have the best vehicle in the world to have the most fun.

Too right! I've tried various 4x4's. SWB Landcruiser was probably the best all round, given decent tyres. Discovery is hopelessly over-long, Range Rover V8 runs out of fuel way before you can have any fun. Best fun of all was the SWB Series IIa Land Rover - it even has a starting handle so you can wind it backwards up a hill, a la Ice Cold in Alex. Mind you I fancy a try in an Alvis Stalwart 6x6 swimming lorry, never had the chance!

Unless you have a small penis.

Nuff said.

[Joe]

Anyone see that Snicker's commercial with the guy driving around in the giant hummer? I almost doubled over laughing when I first saw it.

[Tsyroc]

Anyone see that Snicker's commercial with the guy driving around in the giant hummer? I almost doubled over laughing when I first saw it.

Heck, what about the commercial for the H2 where the kid builds his own Hummer racer. It was pretty cool until the part where he pulls in front of everyone with this big hog and no one can get around the big back end of his "Hummer". That's an asinine thing to be pushing on motorists. I'm sure plenty will buy it for that reason but they shouldn't be.

I like the look for hummers, it would be interesting if they could build a smaller one to compete with the small SUVs, or is that creeping intoto far into Jeep territory?

[Sea Skimmer]

I like the look for hummers, it would be interesting if they could build a smaller one to compete with the small SUVs, or is that creeping intoto far into Jeep territory?

I don't see a point to that. If you build it smaller it's just not a hummer, the performance doesn't scale down. I suppose you could make it just look the same easily enough though.

[GrandMasterTerwynn]

Does anyone else in here actually hate these oversized gas-guzzling vehicles. i mean i can understand the Military and Law Enforcement having them, but why civilians. It would be different if you lived in the mountains but in the city is basically unnecessary. Here in DC we only get 5 feet of snow and thats because it may snow several days overs. We have elevations of only 2 feet high, thats only in SE Washington DC. Any comments.

An H2 Hummer seems to be about the most useless vehicle ever concieved in the history of mankind. Too wide to take on a good Jeep trail, and it's so huge, yet has astonishingly little interior volume for it's size, so it isn't very useful either.

[Tsyroc]

I don't see a point to that. If you build it smaller it's just not a hummer, the performance doesn't scale down. I suppose you could make it just look the same easily enough though.

Isn't that about what they did with eh H2 compared to the original Hummer? At least I thought they scaled it down a little and then stuck it on a truck chasis instead of a real Hummer chasis.

I suppose they could scale down the body and stick it on the old GP type Jeeps the military used for so long. I always liked those.

[Alferd Packer]

Hmmm. You can equip a Landy with roof-level intakes, its fairly common to see now (fitted that is, not actually in use ). I understood it was just a set of diff plugs not spouts that you fitted to the Landy to go wading?

Sure, you can do that, and that'll prevent water from entering, but to my knowledge, it'll also prevent air from entering, which is bad.

Consider a common scenario: you're slogging down a muddy trail, makin' good time, getting nice and dirty, when all of a sudden, you skid to a halt. There's a river in front of you, and although slow moving, it'll be a challenge. You stop, scout it out, and pick your path. You prep your rig, plugging the differentials, strapping a tarp to the front to create the "bow" effect to prevent engine bay flooding, all that. You drop 'er into the low range(if you weren't there already) and head on in.

What happens when your hot differentials hit cold water? They're gonna cool off in a hurry. The pressure inside them will drop dramatically, and they'll want to suck in air. But having plugged them, nothing can get in. Now, I don't claim to know what this will make your rig do, but I wager it won't be good. Of course, you can simply wait 15 minutes to let your diffs cool off before plugging heading in, but if you're on a schedule, that may not be an option.

With spouts, provided the water's not too deep, you're fine. Your diffs can breathe, and water can't get in. To my understanding, that's the advantage of spouting them. Of course, after any crossing, you want to check your diffs thoroughly to make sure water didn't get in, so adhering to a schedule may be a moot point, eh?

While I'm by no means an experienced offroader, I can say with confidence that most SUVs can't hold a candle to my pickup: a 1997 Nissan 4x4 SWB. It has the lowest gearing available for the model (4.625:1 at the axles), large tires (P235/75R15, which are large for such a small truck) and, of course, that ludicrous Nissan body lift. I get about 8.5 inches clearance at the rear axle, 10 at the half shafts, and 12 at the transfer case. All in all, it's not a bad setup. I plan on putting new steering in(the truck's Achilles Heel, if you will) and bumping up to some 32"x11.50" tires (on the stock 15"x7" rims, if you can believe that) probably come spring time. Beyond that...oh, I don't know, maybe a new gear reduction for the low range (I think they make them as low as 3.9:1), maybe a suspension lift. We'll see how deep my pockets are.

[Stuart Mackey]

And I know of one instance in Papua New Guinea where a Hummer {one of the first ones IIRC} was beaten hands down by a Land Rover and Toyota Land Cruiser.

Possibul if they where both unloaded. Laden, no other 4x4 beats military grade Humvees.

I dont knoiw the specifics..but in PNG they are not rated as more than a light truck.

[Peregrin Toker]

And I know of one instance in Papua New Guinea where a Hummer {one of the first ones IIRC} was beaten hands down by a Land Rover and Toyota Land Cruiser.

Possibul if they where both unloaded. Laden, no other 4x4 beats military grade Humvees.

What about the UNIMOG? Has there ever been a competition between these two? While putting them in the same class is quite a stretch, we use it analogous to the humvee in the german army and it is a 4x4. My money would ride on it in a standoff.

For those who don't know, the vehicle below is a Unimog:

[Sebastin]

It´s a very old Unimog though. And it looks somewhat too short, is that a short wheelbase version or is it just the weird picture angle?

I´m still wondering how it fares against the humvee.

[Alferd Packer]

It´s a very old Unimog though. And it looks somewhat too short, is that a short wheelbase version or is it just the weird picture angle?

I´m still wondering how it fares against the humvee.

Those narrow tires are ill-suited for most offroad applications. Since the Unimog is big and heavy, the narrow contact patch will cause it to sink into sand. They probably also have a very high tire pressure, which increase chances of a flat, making sharp, pointy rocks bad news. It would do well in certain types of mud, particularly when there's hard, solid ground about 6-10 inches down.

Looks like it's lacking in suspension articulartion, too, which means that off-camber travel is probably next to impossible. I think the Humvee would beat it overall, but from the looks of it, it's probably a very capable vehicle.

[Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi]

Weren't they making a consumer version of the Unimog? I read it a couple of years ago. Do people have small penis problems so severe that they need to drive one of those?

[The Third Man]

Thanks for the info, it makes sense. I don't do much off-roading myself, unless it's en route to a destination, so I've never tried wading. Nearest I came to it was using the Series II winch to pull a tree trunk out of a river!

Sounds like a nice practical vehicle you have there, I'm quite sure it'll easily out-perform any SUV! Good luck with the planned mods. We (my brother and I) have some plans for the Landy, its getting a 2.0 turbo deisel in the near future, slight drawback is I now have the horrible barge-like donor vehicle (something called an Austin Montego, you won't know it cos I think the UK govt banned export as it would be a national disgrace) as my hopefully temporary personal transport

Unimog versus Humvee? Well, there are a whole range of Unimogs going back over 50 years or so, with different capabilities, some of which no doubt exceed the Humvee in specific areas, but obviously not all areas. Both use a similar design philosophy, being large, heavy and complicated. They share quite a few features eg tyre inflation system, hub gears (forget the technical term).

[Stuart Mackey]

It´s a very old Unimog though. And it looks somewhat too short, is that a short wheelbase version or is it just the weird picture angle?

I´m still wondering how it fares against the humvee.

Those narrow tires are ill-suited for most offroad applications. Since the Unimog is big and heavy, the narrow contact patch will cause it to sink into sand. They probably also have a very high tire pressure, which increase chances of a flat, making sharp, pointy rocks bad news. It would do well in certain types of mud, particularly when there's hard, solid ground about 6-10 inches down.

Looks like it's lacking in suspension articulartion, too, which means that off-camber travel is probably next to impossible. I think the Humvee would beat it overall, but from the looks of it, it's probably a very capable vehicle.

I have seen LWB mogs do their thing, they are very capable vehicles. I do not know if anyone has done a proper test with a mog and a hummer.

[Stuart Mackey]

snipWe (my brother and I) have some plans for the Landy, its getting a 2.0 turbo deisel in the near future, slight drawback is I now have the horrible barge-like donor vehicle (something called an Austin Montego, you won't know it cos I think the UK govt banned export as it would be a national disgrace) as my hopefully temporary personal transport

snip

Austin Montego? you have one? Buhahahaha! you poor bastard. We got those thing out here in NZ, we think they are crap..and thats saying something as most British cars here are considered to be rubbish.

[Peregrin Toker]

snipWe (my brother and I) have some plans for the Landy, its getting a 2.0 turbo deisel in the near future, slight drawback is I now have the horrible barge-like donor vehicle (something called an Austin Montego, you won't know it cos I think the UK govt banned export as it would be a national disgrace) as my hopefully temporary personal transport

snip

Austin Montego? you have one? Buhahahaha! you poor bastard. We got those thing out here in NZ, we think they are crap..and thats saying something as most British cars here are considered to be rubbish.

An Austin Montego isn't that bad a vehicle - although it's hard to get spare parts for it.

BTW - I've found another Unimog picture, allegedly representing a newer model:

That thing's absolutely enormous.

[The Third Man]

Austin Montego? you have one? Buhahahaha! you poor bastard. We got those thing out here in NZ, we think they are crap..and thats saying something as most British cars here are considered to be rubbish.

An Austin Montego isn't that bad a vehicle - although it's hard to get spare parts for it.

Oh it is that bad. Worse in fact. Believe me!

[Darth Mall]

Hummers are kind of cool but the drivers should be taught how to use them. Where i used to live, they hada really old fountain by a famous sculptuer(sp)andit was is shitty conditionso thetown payed a huge dollar amount to get it rebuilt and restored brick by brick, and then just when it as finished some jackass drunk in a hummer went and turned it into a pile of fucking dust. the thing ishe was from out of townand was just driving thru.

[Peregrin Toker]

Austin Montego? you have one? Buhahahaha! you poor bastard. We got those thing out here in NZ, we think they are crap..and thats saying something as most British cars here are considered to be rubbish.

An Austin Montego isn't that bad a vehicle - although it's hard to get spare parts for it.

Oh it is that bad. Worse in fact. Believe me!

So this explains why you can buy a used Austin Montego for practically no money...

[The Third Man]

So this explains why you can buy a used Austin Montego for practically no money...

Yes! This one cost just 100 GBP. One owner, FSH, MOT.

Like I say, I'm using it temporarily since some kind soul wrote off my beautiful, beautiful CRX VTEC from underneath me The insurance company paid out 1600 GBP for the CRX, and it was two years and 70,000 miles older than the Montego. so that says something.

I think it really sums up what went wrong with the British motor industry. The turbo-deisel engine is actually very good, it'll easily do moon-rocket mileages, but the rest is awful. It looks hideous, drives horribly, has developed big rust-holes, and the build quality is dreadful - leading to 3 different electrical failures in as many days.

Then again, I always try to find something nice to say about any vehicle I drive, so if you want something dirt cheap with huge load space, good economy and reasonable cruising speed you could do a lot worse. Just make sure its the TD engine.

[The Yosemite Bear]

I have a friend who has simular feelings twords his ford granada....