"Paranoia" RPG from WEG

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-09-24 02:23pm

Yup, right up there with R.Talsorian's Teenager's from Outer Space (Anime Teen sex comedy RPG), in quick on the fly FUN to play. Really silly shit.

Glares at Microsith for buying R.Talsorian and getting rid of TFOS....

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2003-09-24 02:26pm

SirNitram wrote:You've clearly never played Paranoia.

I was speaking in general. But it is possible that WEG found a use for the basics of D20, I'll admit.

Typhonis 1 · Post by **Typhonis 1** » 2003-09-24 02:29pm

Paranoia d20 came out in the Early 90`s late 80s *hands Nitram a plasma generator* educate these traitors will you friend citizen?

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-09-24 02:42pm

Paranoia uses a 100%*/D20 for rolls, it is NOT the TSR d20 system adapted by WotC for just about everything. Especially since WEG is out of business.

I have both editions of Paranoia one used a d20 one used a d100/2d10

Spy's are identified as being from another complex, preparing delivery of Vulture Squadron to other complex.

Likelyhood of Other Complex Breakdown
Beta Complex 30%
Commie Complex: 15%
Gamma Complex: 0%- Gamma Complex is a nice happy sheet of glass now
Delta Complex: 60%- Claims he's a dolphin MUST be from the underwater DELTA COMPLEX!!!!

Typhonis 1 · Post by **Typhonis 1** » 2003-09-24 02:45pm

*Hands Yosimitee a Cone rifle and tac nuke shells*

Typhonis 1 · Post by **Typhonis 1** » 2003-09-24 02:47pm

All loyal citizens here at the SD net Simplex please report in your "Paranoia names"

James-B-OND-1 here

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-09-24 02:59pm

Very First Paranoia Character

Ike-R-USS <the registered mutant with wings>

Most longest lasting charcter...
<Classified>(Blue/Indigo) clearance <Housing sector delted for security reasons>-?
Comes with having an originally Yellow Clearance Character that managed to get too many promotions.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-09-24 03:03pm

Transcript of Paranoia Game from Something Awful:

Current Players are: Crazy Hoot (CrazyHoot23) A.K.A. Wr-O-ONG, Ricequeen (k888888888) Alias Lat-R-BOI, Monkey-Of-Death (Securitron5000)scrubbot 157-h4, Uberjew (Talain Dohl) frequently called Bat-R-ANG, Chem-Comando (ChemComando) Mast-R-BAT, Spikey (Spikey998) Duckd-O-GRS, and Mentalcontempt (Mentalcontempt judging from profile, correct me if wrong) Citizen Runfe-R-ITT. Newly added: Zombie #246 (hotwaxpoo) is playing Kill-R-RAT
and finally,
Damien (TurboSexcopter7) who will be playing Citizen Laz-R-BLT
Game begins in next post.

EDIT: No reason. Friend computer is never wrong.

6 openings appear in the ceiling of a small room, out of which come six bodies. Each one is naked and covered in a strange coating of red slime. The room is aglow in a dull red light which seems to just emenate from the walls themselves. The entire room is red, and it is completely bair barring two features: A personal computer takes up most of the back wall, and a rack containing an assortment of black jumpsuits has been knocked over in the middle of the room. The computer monitor seems to be blinking with an intensifying urgency.

Players, each of you is in a room with 5 strange naked people. You have, at this point, no memories of anything but you have full knoweldge of what these strange items are.

Chem-Comando (Shep's Brother)
"Whoa, I know I like naked people but this is overdrive!" I quickly put on one of the jumpsuits to hide my erection because that would not make a good first impression. I then turn to look at the pretty computer. Maybe I should push buttons until something happens.

I'm going to put a jumpsuit on, I am so daring

as the button on the computer is pressed, an alarm klaxon begins to blare in the room. A small robot, resembling R2D2 equipped with a firehose and a broom enters the room and proceeds to spray you all down, removing the slime coating. The feeling of nudity pervades the room, even though you are now mostly dressed. Furthermore, none of the jumpsuits appear to fit. This one is too small, the other too large; this one lacks underwear, this one is ichy... and what makes matters worse is that no matter how many times they are swapped or exchanged, it appears that they come in every size BUT the correct 6. After the robot leaves and the confusion regarding the suits begins to subside, a small oblong box beneath the computer begins to spray forth a series of papers and forms, each one addressed to a different person. Bat-R-ANG, W-R-ONG, Lat-R-BOI, Mast-R-BAT, Buzzgo-R-DON, and Ov-R-KIL all appear to have forms addressed specifically to them.

Chemmy wrote: Mast-R-BAT looks at his form very confused. I try turning it every way, thinking it might be upside down. "If only I knew japanese!" Finally, I begin to check off random boxes that look like good choices.

Buzzgo-R-DON and Mast-R-BAT both file their sheets as W-R-ONG begins a low discussion with friend computer. A large robot enters the room, and begins to sweep the entire floor with fire from his autocannon. Lat-R-BOI dives to the floor and manages to avoid serious injury, but the rest of you are in bad shape. The Robot then intones, in a dry nasally and unconcerned voice: Which one of you is the communist W-R-ONG? He doesn't wait for an answer, as he continues "Either way, your request for termination has been accepted." A hallway opens behind the Large robot as he leaves.

As you continue down the hallway, a buzzsaw erupts from the wall, cleanly carving citizen W-R-ONG in two. A scrubbot, much like the one you saw before, steps out of the opposite wall and quickly sprays the mess away. A tube pops open, and out comes citizen W-R-ONG-2 (you each have six clones, just so you know) slides from tube, dressed in yet another ill fitting red jumpsuit. The metallic voice of Friend computer drones: Citizen Ov-R-KIL has been promoted. He will now be referred to as citzen Orang-O-TAN. A panel next to Orang opens up, revealing a much better fitting orange jumpsuit. Unfortunately, one of the sleeves on this jumpsuit is a bit short.

You all continue down the corridor, and eventually arrive at the training desk Each of you recieve your assignments for training:

Citizen Mast-R-BAT is ordered to report to HPD & MC for basic training.

Citizen W-R-ONG is told to report to the CPU.

Citizen Bat-R-ANG is told to report to the Boot Camp.

Citizen Buzzgo-R-DON is told to report to the comissary.

Citizen Lat-R-BOI is forced into Boot Camp alongisde Bat-R-ANG

And citizen Orang-O-TAN gets the ability to be trained by those crazy guys at the CPU.

Chemmy wrote: I finish my Housing Preservation/development and Mind Control training, I am now a fully trained individual ready to carry out Friend Computer's will. I look at my new Yellow stripe and my Combat Armor. I am fully ready to serve Friend Computer.

Citizen Orang-O-TAN extends his arm, and remarks "In fact, I did. It was...bubblicious. I believe thats the official term, anyway."

"AH HA!" W-R-ONG shouts! "EVERYONE KNOWS THAT ZESTY IS THE TASTE OF LOYALTY! YOU FRIEND, ARE A TRAITOR! FRIEND COMPUTER, NON-TRAITORS EVERYWHERE, ASSIST ME IN TERMINATING THIS COMMUNIST MUTANT!"

With that, W-R-ONG pulls out his length of pipe and takes a savage swing at Orang-O-TAN.

two shots ring out from Orang-O-TANs slugthrower. The first goes wide, but the second blows out W-R-ONGs kneecap. At this moment, a third swing of the pipe and a second swing of a laser sword both manage to connect, causing this particular lifecycle of citizen Orang-O-TAN to end. The last thing he hears is the voice of friend computer intoning: Excellent work, citizens. I hereby promote citizen W-R-ONG to citizen Wr-O-NGG.

Citizen Wr-O-NGG is quickly given an orange jumpsuit, and a docbot appears to deal with his knee. It quickly gives Wr-O-NGG several enemas, followed by a suppository. It then disappears into a wall panel, having done nothing for Wr-O-NGG's burst knee.

[ORANG ONLY]
As Orang drifts back into conscienceness, he realizes that something has gone HORRIBLY wrong. He no longer feels his fleshy body, his familiar organ... at first, everything is just wrong... but then he knows the cold peace of a metal frame. No more flesh, no more water... he is finally free of the organic sloshing. He now finds himself firmly inserted into the body of a Scrubbot, staring into the face of an R&D blue clad technician.

EDIT: Friend computer has also determined that Bubblicious is an applicable term for relating the flavor of Bouncy Bubbly Beverage.

Ahhh, citizen orang, was it not? From this point on, you will respond solely to scrubbot 157-h4. You have been assigned to assist troubleshooting group WD-40. You have had one of your hoses replaced with a series 4 deatomizer ray, and your secondary pushbroom has been replaced with a series 12 firespewer. Of course, we decided that your precision CutTECH sawblades could just be... ummmm... optimized for troubleshooting work. Of course, any knowledge that you are any more than a regular scrub-bot is highly classified, requiring ult... uhhh, he stammers, looking down at his own jumpsuit... blue clearance or higher. Good luck on your mission, and your first duty is to clean up the mess of your previous corpse." With that, the technician pulls a lever and you are quickly whisked through a series of tunnels, and find yourself in a vaguely familiar room, looking at the severely wounded and orange clad Wr-O-NGG. Your first clone lies on the cold stone floor, awaiting processing.
[/Orang Only]

with careful application of laser set to "heat", Wr-O-NGG is able to melt one side of his pipe and then meld it with the flesh of his nearly kneeless leg. The process appears quite painful, but will allow him to walk. The screams emited during the melding process, however, summons another docbot. Realizing that they must have done something wrong the first time, the Docbot gives an enema to EVERY orifice in citizen Wr-O-NGG's body this time, then gives him yet another suppository.

At least the suppository is a painkiller this time.

"Errrm, ummm, of course, citizen. Friend computer was only testing you."

As the mechanical voice of Friend Computer winds down, a huge flash of light, followed by a blaring "you are NOW blind thanks to Comptu-tech-theater" that leaves you, well, blind and bleeding from the ears. As you writhe on the floor in agony (well, all except for the robot), a man dressed in white and wearing a badge that labels him as a high programmer comes on screen: Attention Troubleshooters! Today, you have been given an assignment of the utmost importance. Research in Sector MGD on a top secret project has recently been... slowed... most likely due to communist influence. You are to go to sector MGD, find the top secret hidden research room, determine the cause of their delay, kill all communists/traitors/non-registered mutants on location, and bring their project back to here for... testing.

Now, Report to sector FUB room AR to recieve your mission equipment. Good luck."

The ungodly (whatever that means) light dies down, and a panel slides open, apparently into an elevator.

Scrubbot 157-4h unlocks his wheels and briefly considers the situation. His sensors read a severe lack of hygene in the ENTIRE CAR! Unable to come to a descision on what area needs to be cleaned first, it spins around spraying fire and water and firing his deatomizer ray every-whichway, his saw blades spinning like some sort of far overpowered battlebot with a drunk pilot.

Lat-R-BOI hobbled out of the elevator doing his best to avoid the bot's flame jets and deatomization beams. He picked up a piece of Mast-R-BAT's innards off his jumpsuit and handed it to the bot to vaporize.

"It brings a tear to my eye to see my comrade so eager to maintain hygiene!"

Lat took a few moments to take in his surroundings. "Room AR is where Friend Computer directed us, and it is to Room AR we shall go, unless there are mutated Communists amongst us who would rather have us discuss whatever things it is that Communists discuss when they are not going to Room AR."

The moment Lat-R-BOI uses the word comrade, that filthy communist speak!, Bat-R-ANG turns, draws his lasgun, and blasts him.

"SO PERISH ALL COMMIE MUTANT TRAITORS!"

Scrubbot 157-4h turns quickly toward the traitor Lat-R-BOI and begins going full speed, however fast that is for a Scrubbot, while firing his deatomizer and spinning his sawblades rapidly. A steven hawking-esque robotic voice echos out from it, saying "Communists are unhygenic and must be cleaned."

Lat-R-BOI is quickly reduced to a pile of meat, which is then quickly reduced to subatmoic particles thanks to the handy work of Scrubbot 157-4h. While the party congratulates itself on removing a communist infiltrator, a new (and much less treasonous) clone of Lat-R-BOI is spat (quite cleanly and hygenically) out of a hole in the ceiling.

For Scrubbot 157-4h, however, things seem darker. Maybe it's because the bot has been vacu-sucked down a tube and into a poorly lit R&D room back in BOT sector. Yep, that's definitely the reason. His design is quickly modified, as another pressure hose is removed (leaving him with only one) and a nice rotor is added. One of his two sets of buzzsaws is also taken away, to be replaced with a light autocannon.

Scrubbot 157-4h has been removed. Flybot 157-4h has returned in his place.

EDIT: The voice of Friend Computer comes on the air: Bat-R-ANG, request a form 1430x257.d6, termination of treasonous communist mutant form, in room AR along with your troubleshooting equipment.

Chemmy wrote: These Loyalty Pills shall be the thin line that stops the rest of you traitors from going over all the way. And with this.... LOYALTY BEAM, I shall be ready to inspire loyalty even more. HAIL FRIEND COMPUTER! Now, take your pills near traitors, you don't want to be traitors, do you? (he begins handing out the correctly color coded pills to them)

LT.Hit-Man · Post by **LT.Hit-Man** » 2003-09-24 03:26pm

Hehehehe
shit I have not played that game in years.
Bake the traitor is better

beyond hope · Post by **beyond hope** » 2003-09-24 03:46pm

Darth Utsanomiko wrote:
SirNitram wrote:You've clearly never played Paranoia.
I was speaking in general. But it is possible that WEG found a use for the basics of D20, I'll admit.

To clarify: it uses a D20 for dice rolls, which is not the same thing as using the D20 rules system. The rules for Paranoia are totally different (and in fact the rules for Paranoia are there merely as one more thing to screw the players over with when you need to and are otherwise there for the GM to ignore at will.) I have on many, many occasions just bounced a D20 behind a screen and then gone ahead and described what happens next without ever looking at it. Like the name suggests: the GM is out to get you.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-09-24 03:52pm

Yup, that's part of the fun. TFOS is the other way, you never get to have sex. Now getting clubbed in the head by because some one thinks you did something now that's funny....

LT.Hit-Man · Post by **LT.Hit-Man** » 2003-09-24 03:56pm

The Yosemite Bear wrote:Yup, that's part of the fun. TFOS is the other way, you never get to have sex. Now getting clubbed in the head by because some one thinks you did something now that's funny....

Yep much like most TGODS

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-09-24 04:13pm

yeah, TFOS was lillerally the player's against each other. in a very TGODDish kind of enviornment. I still remember the SHojo mallet's and other weapons. Special powers and other things evened it out between the characters.

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2003-09-24 09:42pm

Troubleshooter Thingam-O-BOB, reporting for duty, SIR!

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2003-09-25 01:25am

The best part of any debriefing:

"I speak without fear of contradiction..."

Typhonis 1 · Post by **Typhonis 1** » 2003-09-25 02:07am

some SD net "Paranoia " Names Yosimitee-B-EAR ,Mike-U-ONG, Typhon-I-SSS, Seask-I-MER,Sco-O-TER,

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-09-25 09:11am

Using my Gamefaqs name (The Dark doesn't lend itself to good Paranoia names), I get DarkValk-U-REE.

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2003-09-25 10:22am

Typhonis 1 wrote:some SD net "Paranoia " Names Yosimitee-B-EAR ,Mike-U-ONG, Typhon-I-SSS, Seask-I-MER,Sco-O-TER,

Don't forget Ice-B-ERG.

Typhonis 1 · Post by **Typhonis 1** » 2003-09-25 12:34pm

I know there no U in Wong but figured Mike would have Ultraviolet clearance heres two clasic names Darth-V-DER Jed-I-OBI-1

Symmetry · Post by **Symmetry** » 2003-09-25 10:20pm

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:That doesn't make D20 any less lame.

Uts and I prefer D6.

All hail D6, especially when you roll 3 of them!

Typhonis 1 · Post by **Typhonis 1** » 2003-09-26 02:12am

Citizen Symetry your treasonous remarks have been noted The Vulture warriors shall escort you to your new and even more fun duty station as Reactor shielding in DOA sector

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2003-09-26 03:27am

Symmetry wrote:
Spanky The Dolphin wrote:That doesn't make D20 any less lame.

Uts and I prefer D6.
All hail D6, especially when you roll 3 of them!

Indeed, but this thread has turned into some kooky TGODing crap.

Perhaps I could write up some more stuff for my D6 Fallout campaign, and revive my old "I wanna run a D6 RPG" thread to discuss it.

But untill then, *Rolls 3D+2 against BOREDOM and leaves the thread successfully*

Typhonis 1 · Post by **Typhonis 1** » 2003-09-27 12:29pm

Citizen what is this D^ you keep speaking of? Itsounds like something a Commie Mutant Traitor would like and all Citizens of Alpha Complex know that the games Friend Computer reccomends and gives us are perfect ,flawless ,and are totally fun. Not to mention the fact that Paranoia discourages rule lawyers.....

"GM: how did a Red clearance Citizen learn of Ultraviolet clearance rules? player1:I read them *other players* zapzapzapzapzapzapzapzapzap "

Raxmei · Post by **Raxmei** » 2003-09-27 04:48pm

I've never played the game but I have the novelization. Does that count for anything?

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2003-09-27 07:09pm

Raxmei wrote:I've never played the game but I have the novelization. Does that count for anything?

No it doesn't, Citizen. Report to Citizen Teela-O-MLY for re-education.