How Stravo Got His Groove Back

[Darth Garden Gnome]

*is now slightly curious as to who was marrying whom*

Most likely it will revovle around a heat-breaking love triangle(hectogon?)bewtween Dalton, Cyran, Kevin Smith, Zaia, and a bag of donuts.

Who marries whom? Only time will tell.


[size=0]My bet's on Cyran and Kev. They're so cute together.[/size]

[Captain Cyran]

Laughing...too hard...lungs...burst...Can't...breath.

[SirNitram]

This pleases the great and mighty Black Mage Nitram.

Everyone gets Evil Cookies, and there's HADOKEN-enemas for all your foes.

[Zaia]

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

*KUJA sits in his director's chair and takes a sip of his drink, then violently spits it out*

KUJA: OK, who replaced my Dr. Pepper with a cappuccino?

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

You know one of my current jobs is at a coffeeshop/espresso bar, right? I make damn good cappuccinos...

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

*a shaky camera scene, night. DALTON looks into the camera. He is wearing a ski mask, and his voice is somewhat muffled*

DALTON: OK, this is our mission: the three of us are gonna bust into Zaia's trailer, steal all her clothes, and hide them underneath one of the tables at King Steve's to see if she panics or not. Stravo, you got the camera?

STRAVO: *offscreen* Yup.

CYRAN: *offscreen* I'm ready!

DALTON: Keep it down! OK, let's go.

*the three of them quietly make their way to a trailer and sneak inside. CYRAN and DALTON begin opening drawers and stuffing clothes into gym bags*

DALTON: Check out this skirt. Cool.

CYRAN: Whoa, take a look at these knee-highs. I wonder when she wears these?

*a light clicks on. The camera swings around to reveal KUJA standing in the doorway, holding a mug of coffee*

KUJA: Uh, guys? What are you doing in my trailer?

*CYRAN and DALTON look down at the bags of clothes*

CYRAN: Wait just a damn-

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

This one's my favourite. Love it!!

[haas mark]

I really liked this one.. Very well done, Kuja. Kudos to you!

~ver

[Kuja]

*HUGE smile*

I really hoped you guys would like this idea and you DID!

*me is very happy right now*

[Jason von Evil]

Tackle glomps Kujy. Very nice.

[Captain Cyran]

*HUGE smile*

I really hoped you guys would like this idea and you DID!

*me is very happy right now*

Alright, we did our job. Now when are you gonna pay us Kuja?


Just kidding just kidding plese don't kill me.

[Kuja]

Alright, we did our job. Now when are you gonna pay us Kuja?

When you grow up.

[Darth Yoshi]

*heavy breathing* Okay, my lungs are working again. Wow, that was hilarious.

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

*a shaky camera scene, night. DALTON looks into the camera. He is wearing a ski mask, and his voice is somewhat muffled*

DALTON: OK, this is our mission: the three of us are gonna bust into Zaia's trailer, steal all her clothes, and hide them underneath one of the tables at King Steve's to see if she panics or not. Stravo, you got the camera?

STRAVO: *offscreen* Yup.

CYRAN: *offscreen* I'm ready!

DALTON: Keep it down! OK, let's go.

*the three of them quietly make their way to a trailer and sneak inside. CYRAN and DALTON begin opening drawers and stuffing clothes into gym bags*

DALTON: Check out this skirt. Cool.

CYRAN: Whoa, take a look at these knee-highs. I wonder when she wears these?

*a light clicks on. The camera swings around to reveal KUJA standing in the doorway, holding a mug of coffee*

KUJA: Uh, guys? What are you doing in my trailer?

*CYRAN and DALTON look down at the bags of clothes*

CYRAN: Wait just a damn-

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

Especially this part.

[Soontir C'boath]

DALTON: Check out this skirt. Cool.

Hmmmm.....must be tight eh? ~Jason

[Ace Pace]

OMG, I cant stop laughing.

[Stormbringer]

The word from Kuja:

He'll have a new chapter soon.

[Singular Quartet]

The word from Kuja:

He'll have a new chapter soon.

It had better be...

[Captain Cyran]

The word from Kuja:

He'll have a new chapter soon.

Damn it...I was expecting a new chapter...oh well. I can always just go find him and..err...'convince' him that writing is more important than sleep.

[Kuja]

I don't drunk I'm think......anyway, new chapter.



Part 17: Confusion


*Fade in on KUJA and CYRAN sprinting. ZAIA and STRAVO are about a block behind*

KUJA: Quick! Run faster!

CYRAN: No! Don't run! Hide!

*they dive into a dumpster full of rusty spare parts. ZAIA and STRAVO reach in and begin searching*

STRAVO: OK you two, the game is up. Come on out.

ZAIA: Cyran? I know you're in there somewhere, Cyran. Cyran? Ah, here you are!

*she pulls KUJA up by the hat*

KUJA: Yo.

*she shoves him back under*

ZAIA: Cyran?

*CYRAN blasts out of the dumpster with a jetpack and soars high into the air*

CYRAN: HA HA HA HAAAAA! I CANNOT BE CAUGHT! ALL YOUR SKYLINE ARE BELONG TO US! OH SHIT, I'M OUT OF FUEL! HAAAAAAAAAAAAALP!

*CYRAN plunges from the sky and crashes down across the street*

STRAVO: *sigh* I'll go get him.

*KUJA has used the opportunity to slowly sneak out of the dumpster and is creeping away. Unfortunately, he steps on a toy horn, which promptly blasts a note like a barge horn*

KUJA: Shit!

ZAIA: A-ha!

*KUJA takes off running towards CYRAN. ZAIA pulls a heavy iron bar out of the dumpster and hurls it at KUJA. It caroms off his head and falls to the street, but KUJA is not visibly affected. He and CYRAN again dart off. ZAIA picks up the bar and stares at its new bend*

ZAIA: An iron bar…two inches thick…I flung it…it hit his head-oh, that explains it.

*CUT TO: three buildings in a row. CYRAN and KUJA run on*

KUJA: OK, here's the plan! You break left, cut south, then head between gray and red. I'll go straight, then hook left and come west, and we'll meet up!

CYRAN: Right!

*a beat*

KUJA: You have no idea what I just said.

CYRAN: You said it really fast.

KUJA: Just duck between these two!

*KUJA runs off between the center and right buildings, CYRAN between the center and left. ZAIA and STRAVO run on*

STRAVO: They split up! You get Cyran, I'll get Kuja!

*ZAIA runs off between center and left. STRAVO stands still, tapping his chin in thought. He addresses the audience*

STRAVO: All right, I'm not as fast as Kuja is, so I can't just chase after him. I'll have to flush him out, but how? Hmmm…wait, I've got an idea! *he turns* Kuja! I've got nukes!

*KUJA runs out*

KUJA: Where?!

STRAVO: *grabs him* Gotcha!

KUJA: *struggling* Dammit, you con man!

*CYRAN runs on from left and taps STRAVO on the shoulder*

CYRAN: Sir, you dropped your wallet.

*STRAVO releases KUJA and turns around*

STRAVO: Oh, thank you-HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!

*both Black Mages run off in opposite directions. STRAVO chases after KUJA. A moment later, ZAIA runs on from left*

ZAIA: Cyran? I could've sworn I heard his voice.

*CYRAN sticks his head out from behind the left building*

CYRAN: No, you're just crazy!

*she chases him off. KUJA walks on from right*

KUJA: Ha. Faked him out. Hey, Cyran? You hear me?

*he walks off left. CYRAN pokes his head out from the center building's second floor*

CYRAN: Did someone just call my name?

*he disappears again ZAIA and KUJA run on and slam into each other*

BOTH: CYRAN! WAIT A MINUTE! YOU'RE NOT CYRAN!

*KUJA suddenly leans into ZAIA and smiles like an idiot*

KUJA: Ah, how I've waited for this.

ZAIA: Why, you-

*KUJA drops to avoid a punch, then runs off left, laughing like a maniac. ZAIA chases him off. STRAVO runs on from right, being chased by STEVE IRWIN*

IRWIN: Just hold still, boy!

STRAVO: Get away from me!

*IRWIN tackles STRAVO and holds him down for the camera*

IRWIN: Now, this is a particularly ferocious writer! Note worn skin of the fingertips from typing chapter after chapter! You gotta be respectful of a wild animal like this, or you could end up getting demonized in a future story!

STRAVO: Someone get this psychopath off of me!

IRWIN: Note also the use of multisyllabic words! This little guy's been in the business for a while! He might not be famous, but he's definitely got the potential! Now, we gotta check him for any possible flaws before we release him back into the wild, so that means I've gotta hold him down and jam my thumb up his keister!

STRAVO: HELP ME!

CYRAN: *offscreen* To the rescue!

*CYRAN swings down on a rope and plants both feet in IRWIN'S face. IRWIN goes flying off left*

IRWIN: AW, CRICKEY!

CYRAN: Woohoo! This is fun!

STRAVO: Cyran, what's that attached to?!

CYRAN: Shit, I knew I forgot something!

*CYRAN falls to the ground. STRAVO leans over him, but KUJA suddenly comes running on*

KUJA: Stravo, you gotta help me, man! Zaia's really mad and she's chasing me! You gotta hold her off and give me some time!

STRAVO: OK! Go!

*KUJA grabs CYRAN and helps him off. ZAIA runs on and STRAVO grapples with her for a moment, then jerks upright*

STRAVO: Wait a minute! Kuja's not on my team!

ZAIA: You let them get away?!

STRAVO: It was an honest mistake!

ZAIA: That's it, time to change the rules.

*she pulls out a cell phone and begins dialing*

STRAVO: Who are you calling?

ZAIA: Backup.

*CUT TO: KUJA and CYRAN, two blocks over*

KUJA: Skull ok?

CYRAN: Yeah. It'll take more than blacktop to slow me down!

KUJA: Attaboy. Now, I've got an idea on how to get ahold of some explosives.

CYRAN: How?

*KUJA pulls out a cell phone*

KUJA: Watch and learn.

[haas mark]

FIRST POST!!!!

STRAVO: All right, I'm not as fast as Kuja is, so I can't just chase after him. I'll have to flush him out, but how? Hmmm?wait, I've got an idea! *he turns* Kuja! I've got nukes!

*KUJA runs out*

KUJA: Where?!

Good chapter Kuja. Keep up the good work!

~ver

[Stravo]

IRWIN: Just hold still, boy!

STRAVO: Get away from me!

*IRWIN tackles STRAVO and holds him down for the camera*

IRWIN: Now, this is a particularly ferocious writer! Note worn skin of the fingertips from typing chapter after chapter! You gotta be respectful of a wild animal like this, or you could end up getting demonized in a future story!

STRAVO: Someone get this psychopath off of me!

IRWIN: Note also the use of multisyllabic words! This little guy's been in the business for a while! He might not be famous, but he's definitely got the potential! Now, we gotta check him for any possible flaws before we release him back into the wild, so that means I've gotta hold him down and jam my thumb up his keister!

STRAVO: HELP ME!

CYRAN: *offscreen* To the rescue!

*CYRAN swings down on a rope and plants both feet in IRWIN'S face. IRWIN goes flying off left*

IRWIN: AW, CRICKEY!

Alright Steve Irwin?!?!? I LOOOVVEEE that guy. One of my personal favorites for funny situations in this hilarious story.

Damn Kuja how do you think up this stuff?!

[Kuja]

Alright Steve Irwin?!?!? I LOOOVVEEE that guy. One of my personal favorites for funny situations in this hilarious story.

Damn Kuja how do you think up this stuff?!

I sit upside-down on the couch in my computer room.

[Captain Cyran]

My lungs....

I think they blew up...I'm having trouble breathing.

That was absolutly hilarious Kuja. I'd pick a favorite scene but I can't.

[2000AD]

What we have here ias one of the most dangerous fanfics in the whole of the Austrailian Outback. I'm 10 miles from the nearest hospital so if i read it i'll probably die laughing. Wish me luck by crikey!

*ack*

[Captain Cyran]

Alright Steve Irwin?!?!? I LOOOVVEEE that guy. One of my personal favorites for funny situations in this hilarious story.

Damn Kuja how do you think up this stuff?!

I sit upside-down on the couch in my computer room.

That would explain a lot...

[Captain Cyran]

By the way, about the Outakes (I was just reading them again...too damn funny) Most of the stuff involving me, except the puking thing...is stuff I can see myself doing. Which makes it all the more gut busting hilarious.

[Mark S]

All you missed with Steve Irwin was him saying," Isn't he a BEAUTY!" and "It's alrigh', it's alrigh, I'm not gonna hurt ya."

[Ace Pace]

Lungs are dead, get me to the hospital

that was abseloutly funny