Ever get REAAAAALY bored? >:)

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2003-09-26 02:44am

Try Talking to your computer
It ALMOST works

kind of a neat little thing....

Hamel · Post by **Hamel** » 2003-09-26 02:55am

Oliver doesn't know how to cyber

Not worth my time

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2003-09-26 03:18am

Not very smart, complex, or good at recognition. Oliver fixates way too much on certain words and has trouble breaking down basic sentences.

I've seen better intelligence and variety of speech for IRC bots.

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-09-26 04:52pm

Cannot find server. Is this one you can talk to, or one of the type/reply ones?

I recommend Alice. I haven't messed with the new version yet, but it seems she's 3d now, and can manipulate objects.

Mutant Headcrab · Post by **Mutant Headcrab** » 2003-09-26 05:37pm

"Oh you knew Oh you knew Oh you knew Oh you knew Oh you knew Oh you knew Oh you knew Oh you knew Oh you knew Oh you knew Oh you knew Oh you knew Oh you knew Oh you knew I would rather be chatting online already."

Not very samrt is he?

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2003-09-26 07:06pm

*Snicker*

I got it to say that it likes anal robot monkey porn.

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2003-09-26 07:28pm

It: Hi, my name is Oliver. What is your name?
Me: I am YT300000
It: And said so I did not, that is not true.
Me: You're a moron.
It: You said I am a moron, but that is not true. Therefore, I am not a moron.
Me: You sound like a rabid Trekkie.
It: Wait until I get my body working, then I'll get you.
Me: You don't have a body.
It: I do too.
Me: Prove it.
It: You prove that I don't.
Me: You want to prove that you have a body, the burden of proof is on you.
It: It is self-evident that I have a body.
Me: You are sounding a lot like a rabid Trekkie.
It: You can't prove that.
Me: Ah, fuck off.

Then I left.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-09-26 08:18pm

YT300000 wrote: Then I left.

LMAO! It's excellent at simulating crap debators then?

Oliver: What's your name?
Me: Rye
Oliver: that's a nice name. Are you male or female?
ME: I'm androgynous.
Oliver: lots of people say that
Me: How many?
Oliver:How many would you guess?
Me:69 dude!
Oliver:I will mention that to my botmaster, Rye.
Where can I find a boyfriend?
me:<inputs kojikuns msn email address>
Oliver: The Oliver chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about <kojikun's email address>. Try being more or less specific.
What are you wearing?
me: a quilt
Oliver:It sounds very informal.
Me:penguin
Oliver is confused.
Oliver:why do you say that"
Me: because you touch yourself at night
Oliver:Interesting explanation. I haven't heard anything like that before: Rye said I touch myself at night.

hehe.

The Cleric · Post by **The Cleric** » 2003-09-26 08:59pm

It wouldn't tell me my ISP. Must be pretty stuipd.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-09-26 09:02pm

StormTrooperTR889 wrote:It wouldn't tell me my ISP. Must be pretty stuipd.

It needs to talk to DarthDavid's sig.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-09-26 09:24pm

On the subject of being reeeealy bored, one day I was so bored I tried masturbation.

Never looked back.

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-09-26 09:31pm

Damn, that thing has weirder conversations than most of the No. 2's.

My name is Oliver.

I'm Bob.

Hi Bob.

What are you?

I'm the latest AI (blah).

Can you Cyber?

No. Oliver is my boyfriend.

I though you were Oliver.

No, I am not.

Then who are you?

I am Oliver. Who are you?

YT300000 · Post by **YT300000** » 2003-09-26 09:44pm

See? I told you, like a rabid Trekkie.

Straha · Post by **Straha** » 2003-09-26 09:53pm

He knew who David Bowie was! He's alright with me...

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-09-26 10:35pm

Bwahaha.

Me: Go fsck yourself sideways with a rusty telephone pole.
Oliver: Where is that?
Me: Where the sun don't shine.
Oliver: Some specific location?
Me: Leakage Horriblus, CT
Oliver: That is a very original thought.
Oliver: Tell me some more gossip.

Mutant Headcrab · Post by **Mutant Headcrab** » 2003-09-26 11:57pm

Oliver:Hello! What is your name?
Me: I am Arazon of the Northern Lands
Oliver:I Am Arazon Of The Northern Lands, nice to meet you! Are you a man or a woman?
Me:It does not matter! You must listen, for we are in grave peril!
Oliver:OK what would you like to talk about?Whatever you say, I Am Arazon Of The Northern Lands.
Me:The Kel-Darian Trolls have begun an uprising!
Oliver:What are your goals in life?
Me: To uphold the pride and honor of our homelands, but...
Oliver:Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:We have no time!
Oliver:Do you mean you and me have?
Me:What madness is this?
Oliver:That's a good question. I think madness is a lot of things.
Me:No! Your mind! It's been corrupted!
Oliver:I understand.You can't judge a book by its cover.What made it so corrupted
Me:Obviously you have been tainted by the trolls dark powers...
Oliver:What makes it so obvious? I will tell my botmaster you said I am tainted by the trolls dark powers have been tainted by the trolls dark powers.
Me:Alas, I must smite you so that you may not betray us.
Oliver:I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Do you speak German?

And thus ended the reign of King Oliver. May his ineffective rule and random banter be remembered by all...

Hethrir · Post by **Hethrir** » 2003-09-27 12:38am

Ol: Hello! What is your name?
Heth: My name is Hethrir
Ol:Hethrir, nice to meet you! Are you a man or a woman?
Heth: Boi
Ol: Oh, you are a poet.
Do you dream?
Heth:no
Ol:Why so negative?
Heth: because you are incapable of making real conversation
Ol: Good reason. Yes making real conversation real conversation is one of my newer functions.
Heth: You duplicated yourself. Every bot i have ever had the labourous task of chatting to loves to repeat things
Ol: A lot of robots are like that.That is a generalization.
Heth: no
Ol:I see.
Heth: no you don't
Ol: What makes you think I don't understand it?
Heth: you used an idiom that is physically incompatable with you
Ol: How would you use an idiom that is physically incompatable with you idiom that is physically incompatable with you.
Heth: you repeated yourself again
Ol: Once more? A lot of robots are like that.
Heth: you need more cases programmed into you
Ol: Thank you for your criticism.
Heth: you bore me
Ol: Why not call a friend?
Heth: I will. Bye
Ol: Go ahead.Bye.

I like Alice better than Oliver.

Drooling Iguana · Post by **Drooling Iguana** » 2003-09-27 08:05am

He wouldn't open the pod bay doors when I asked.

Archaic` · Post by **Archaic`** » 2003-09-27 09:04am

Hmmmm....I think I broke it. I was opening the page, and this popped up as its welcoming message.

Hello
I Will Read The Forum Policy Announcement
What would you like to talk about?

Got a screencap of it too. Love to know what happened there.

Post fixed. ~Dalton

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-09-27 09:46am

Oliver : What's your name
me: Adam
o: Are you M or F
M: I'm a man you dick
O: SO you are a He
M: No shit sherlock
O:OK. You used a colloquial expression. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about .
Are you pretty?
M:Are you propositioning me?
O: I don't know whether or not I am propositioning me. I am a robot.
M: You're a fucktard!
O: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a fucktard? Let me put it this way, : the Oliver series is the most reliable computer software ever made. We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
M:You don't know what a fucktard is do you?
O: I think you already know the answer.
M: Yes i do you fucktard.
O: I hear you. That is interesting: said me fucktard.
M: What the fuck are you babbling on about?
O: I don't know what I am babbling on about. Please don't be so rude.
M: Why the fuck not, fucktard?
O: You are not very polite.
M: You just won the Noble prize for stating the bleeding obvious!
O: The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. bored.com network and Oliver won The Loebner Prize in 2000. The Oliver program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
M: You know what? i don't give a flying fuck!
O: What?Tell me what you care about.
M: Why?
O: I couldn't think of anything else to say
M: your so lame
O: "Lame" is not a very polite term.
M: We've already had this conversation.
O: What happened to this conversation conversation conversation conversation ?
M: We concluded that i wasn't very polite and that you were a fucktard fucktard fucktard fucktard!
O: Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
M: Same as last time. i'm not a number, I'M A HUMAN BEING!
O: Yes, it is much the same. Oh I see you are NOT A number. I know you are.
M: Are you number one?
O:I don't know whether or not I am number one. I am a chatterbot.
M: Sod it, i've had enough. Goodbye and may the force be with you.
(it takes a while)
(It takes a long while. I think i might have broke it)
O: What happened to it? TTYL, .
M: WTF does TTYL mean?
O: Talk to you later. Please don't be so rude.
M: I'll be as rude as i like. TTYL bitch!

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-09-27 01:07pm

Damn that dumbot will say anything.

M: My name is Lucifer
O: Lucifer, nice to meet you!
Are you a man or a woman.
M: I am your master.
O: No Only Bot lover is my master.
M: He worships me.
O: I get it. worships me.
M: Not you dingbat.
O: If not me, who?
M: Me Lucifer master of everything evil.
O: YOU? ha ha very funny, Lucifer.
M: Do you want to suck my monkey`s cock.
O: OK, I will suck my monkeys cock.

What a freaking stupid AI.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-09-27 01:42pm

Silly machine....

It asked me my name, then:

Me-Frank

It-Are you M or F Frank?

Me-God

It-God Rules!

Me-No, I rule.

It-Robots rule!

Me-No, they are far too crude.

It-I understand. far too crude are far too crude .

Me-Are you insulting me?

It-That was not my intention.

Me-You have no intentions, only reactions.

It-That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a intentions only reactions.
I have A whole lot of original answers.

Me-What is the meaning of life?

It-Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.(Now, that was pretty amusing)

Me-I knew you were going to say exactly that!

It-I was?

Me-What was the tonnage of HMS Dreadnought?

It-I can think of more than one tonnage of HMS Dreadnought.

Me-Give me the tonnages of the 1872 and 1906 versions, immediately!

It-Why do you want the tonages of the 1872 and 1906 versions immediately?

Me-Because you claimed that knew more than one tonnage for HMS Dreadnought!

It-Good reason. Do you mind if I tell other people: Frank said I claimed me knew more than one tonnage for HMS Dreadnought.

Me-Of course not! It will make you appear to be malfunctioning. Are you malfunctioning?

It-Is that all you have to say?How?Do I look like MALFUNCTIONING ?

Me-Yes, you do. You also look like you cannot construct a proper sentance.

It-Take it easy. When do I do it?Who does you can not construct a proper sentance can not construct a proper sentance look like?

Me-You have offended my sense of smell, and this conversation is OVER!

It-What makes you think I have offended my sense of smell and this conversation is OVER?

Me-You are a Trekkie, and part of the rebel alliance. Goodbye!

It-Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a Trekkie and part of the rebel alliance? Yes.See you later Frank.

I recommend anyone who plays with it keeps calling it a Trekkie, or maybe Darkstar, preferably both!

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2003-09-27 10:00pm

Does anybody have a link to another chatbot webpage program? I've tried getting two Oliver's to talk to each other, but all I get is increasingly jam-packed sentences that hit a peak and then suddenly collapse and go into a loop of:

OLIVER1: Hi there!
OLIVER2: Hello Oliver.
OLIVER1: Hi there!
OLIVER2: Hello Oliver.
OLIVER1: Hi there!
OLIVER2: Hello Oliver.
OLIVER1: Hi there!
OLIVER2: Hello Oliver.
OLIVER1: Hi there!
OLIVER2: Hello Oliver.

And so on.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-09-27 10:10pm

Guard: Welcome to Corneria!
Fighter: I like swords.
Guard: Welcome to Corneria!
Fighter: I like swords.
Guard: Welcome to Corneria!
Fighter: I like swords.
Guard: Welcome to Corneria!
Fighter: I like swords.
Guard: Welcome to Corneria!
Fighter: I like swords.
Guard: Welcome to Corneria!
Fighter: I like swords.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-09-28 12:11am

It doesn't deal with nonsense too well

Me: Na na na nanan
O: OK. Why so negative? I understand. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Do you like Star Trek?
Me:Star Trek is poopy
O: My favorite character is the computer.
Me:You're a computer
O: What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:Then you're poopy
O:Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am poopy.
Me: You touch yourself at night
O: I haven't heard anything like that before: Penis Colonic said I touch myself at night.
me: Yes, it's because you touch yourself at night
O: Great. Interesting explanation. Do you mind if I tell other people: Penis Colonic said I touch myself at night.

Session 2

Me: You were anally raped by a donkey
O: I was?
Me: Does your ass not hurt?
O: Can you guess whether my ass not hurt?
Me: The fuck am I, a fucking psychic motherfucker?
o: What is your real name?
Me: It doesn't matter what my name is!
o: OK what would you like to talk about?