Morning erections (or nature's cruel trick on men)

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-09-28 02:33pm

Okay, who else experiences this on a regular basis? I'm willing to bet that every guy knows what I'm talking about. You know how it is. You wake up and need to piss very badly because you drank shitloads of beer last night, but you've got a massive hard-on because the beer made you horny. So you have to sit there and try to think of something non-sexual to get it down, but it never fucking works! Your dick just looks back up at you and basically says, "You're not getting rid of me that easily." What a pretentious little bastard the penis can be ... <sigh>

Okay that's it.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-09-28 02:38pm

Well there is a way of dealing with that.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-09-28 02:38pm

*blinks for a second*

Yes. Morning erections happen to most men, so yeah, it's happened to me.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-09-28 02:47pm

I know the secret to morning wood. There was a article about it in some health magazine. Seems that male testorone levels are at their peak in the early morning hours thus we generally get erections.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-09-28 02:58pm

Eh, it doesn't bother me none. Not that I don't get morning wood (I get it all the time!)

victorhadin · Post by **victorhadin** » 2003-09-28 03:04pm

Stravo is correct. It is due to the early-morning testosterone surge. Nature's way of saying "get the fuck up."

Luke Starkiller · Post by **Luke Starkiller** » 2003-09-28 03:09pm

victorhadin wrote:Stravo is correct. It is due to the early-morning testosterone surge. Nature's way of saying "get the fuck up."

What a horrible pun.

Crazy_Vasey · Post by **Crazy_Vasey** » 2003-09-28 03:29pm

Mine always goes away once I've had a piss.

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2003-09-28 03:38pm

They happen.

Mind you, if your girlfriend slept over and got up earlier and had a shower, it can lead to a very nice wake up call

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-09-28 03:38pm

Stravo wrote:I know the secret to morning wood. There was a article about it in some health magazine. Seems that male testorone levels are at their peak in the early morning hours thus we generally get erections.

I've been able to sometimes get rid of it by running cold water on my hand.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-09-28 03:40pm

Meh...wait a few minutes, it goes away.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-09-28 03:47pm

Rye wrote:Meh...wait a few minutes, it goes away.

Or do the obvious: Jack off or have sex!!

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-09-28 04:03pm

I usually just get up, lean over to avoid my wang slipping out of my boxer barndoor, and run to the shower as quick as I can. It usually goes down by the time I get out.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-09-28 04:10pm

The Ex never got it. If he did, I would have rode it a coupla times. I'm so horny when I get up.

*note to self: next S/O must be up for sex in the morning

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-09-28 04:14pm

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:
Rye wrote:Meh...wait a few minutes, it goes away.
Or do the obvious: Jack off or have sex!!

Oh man! You mean I've been using paper cuts and rubbing alcohol all these years for nothing?

And how many of you guys can actually piss with a stiffy? Mine has to go down to at least half-mast before I can let go with the golden flow.

Setzer · Post by **Setzer** » 2003-09-28 04:17pm

I typically masturbate in the mornings, so Morning wood hasn't been a problem for a long time. Also, I've gotten up around 4:00 AM since I got RA2, so maybe I get up too early for my testosterone to "peak."

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-09-28 04:19pm

Frank Hipper wrote:Oh man! You mean I've been using paper cuts and rubbing alcohol all these years for nothing?

Jesus that's painful to think about.

And how many of you guys can actually piss with a stiffy? Mine has to go down to at least half-mast before I can let go with the golden flow.

Physiologically, it's impossible. Your body closes off the urination capabilities of the penis when you have a hard-on to prevent you from pissing while having sex. I can usually manage with half-a-hard-on though. Sometimes my stream just shoots out way to the left though; it's really weird and dirty.

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-09-28 04:21pm

Frank Hipper wrote:And how many of you guys can actually piss with a stiffy? Mine has to go down to at least half-mast before I can let go with the golden flow.

Ditto for me. It's really annoying, because it'll go down fairly quick when I don't have to pee, but when I do, it acts like there's an amazingly attractive naked chick right in front of me.

Well there is a way of dealing with that.

Does it involve a cat and/or stale bread?

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-09-28 04:22pm

Then I must be a biological anomaly, because I'm certain that I have pissed with a hard-on.

Crazy_Vasey · Post by **Crazy_Vasey** » 2003-09-28 04:22pm

That's strange. I've never had any difficulty pissing with an erection.

BrYaN19kc · Post by **BrYaN19kc** » 2003-09-28 04:30pm

I personally see to it that Matt has a erection when he wakes up practically every morning!

(Unless he wakes up first and gives me one) ROFL!

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-09-28 04:31pm

BrYaN19kc wrote:I personally see to it that Matt has a erection when he wakes up practically every morning! (Unless he wakes up first and gives me one) ROFL!

Damn you, you fucking tease. Can we see pics?

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2003-09-28 04:35pm

Actually, it isn't just in the morning that men get wood. There is a regular cycle of erections every twenty minutes or so while your sleeping.

And I can piss with a hard on too. Sure you have to go to gymnastic feats of skill to aim into the toilet but it always flows for me. The wood goes down pretty fast after too.

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-09-28 04:36pm

Frank Hipper wrote:
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:
Rye wrote:Meh...wait a few minutes, it goes away.
Or do the obvious: Jack off or have sex!!
Oh man! You mean I've been using paper cuts and rubbing alcohol all these years for nothing?

How about toast cuts and H2O2?

Sorry couldnt resist...

I also, generally masturbate in the morning... so they arent a problem for me.

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2003-09-28 04:43pm

InnerBrat wrote:The Ex never got it. If he did, I would have rode it a coupla times. I'm so horny when I get up.

i wonder if thats typical of both sexes...

extra insight into the female mind is always helpful

its hard enough trying to work out what girls are thinking when your not trying to get them to go out with you