Morning erections (or nature's cruel trick on men)

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-10-01 11:45am

Mark S wrote:Sometimes both hands are busy.

And what do you think the towel rail was busy doing?

Zac wrote:theres an exercise that you can do involving a towel, hang it over your penis and flex teh muscle, strengthens the penis and allows greater control over ejaculation and also allows for multiple orgasms in men, cos you can hold it in without sperming everywhere and so continue after the orgasm has subsided.

Hmmm - towel ups...

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2003-10-01 11:51am

InnerBrat wrote:
Hmmm - towel ups...

in a manner of speaking

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2003-10-01 11:54am

Now we just need to know why Nitram was using hi penis as a towel rail.

We can barely tie our shoelaces and a tie around our neck, and you want us to puzzle out the intracate process of keeping that stupid towl wrapped around our waist while we do our Kareoke in the bathroom mirror?

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-10-01 11:56am

Knife wrote:We can barely tie our shoelaces and a tie around our neck, and you want us to puzzle out the intracate process of keeping that stupid towl wrapped around our waist while we do our Kareoke in the bathroom mirror?

So? do what I do. Naked Karaoke.

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2003-10-01 12:01pm

InnerBrat wrote:
Knife wrote:We can barely tie our shoelaces and a tie around our neck, and you want us to puzzle out the intracate process of keeping that stupid towl wrapped around our waist while we do our Kareoke in the bathroom mirror?
So? do what I do. Naked Karaoke.

*mental picture* Hmmmm.

Er, ok, thats the point (pun intended). Men are just too lazy to....finish dropping the towl all the way to the floor. My take on it anyway.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-10-01 12:02pm

Knife wrote:Men are just too lazy to....finish dropping the towl all the way to the floor. My take on it anyway.

You're just trying to come up with excuses for Nitram when we all know he did that twirley-throw-and-catch-with-your-dick thing and LadyT caught him in the middle

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2003-10-01 12:04pm

InnerBrat wrote:
Knife wrote:Men are just too lazy to....finish dropping the towl all the way to the floor. My take on it anyway.
You're just trying to come up with excuses for Nitram when we all know he did that twirley-throw-and-catch-with-your-dick thing and LadyT caught him in the middle

Sure.

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2003-10-01 12:04pm

You're just trying to come up with excuses for Nitram when we all know he did that twirley-throw-and-catch-with-your-dick thing and LadyT caught him in the middle

Now thats one to go down on my list of things to do when drunk

or ... not

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2003-10-01 12:17pm

InnerBrat wrote:
Knife wrote:Men are just too lazy to....finish dropping the towl all the way to the floor. My take on it anyway.
You're just trying to come up with excuses for Nitram when we all know he did that twirley-throw-and-catch-with-your-dick thing and LadyT caught him in the middle

*is at work playing receptionist, and is having a damn hard time not busting out laughing at this thread*

I think it was a general 'oh shit' grap, and he missed the waist wrap. Ask him when he logs in.

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-10-01 01:00pm

Zac Naloen wrote:theres an exercise that you can do involving a towel, hang it over your penis and flex teh muscle, strengthens the penis and allows greater control over ejaculation and also allows for multiple orgasms in men, cos you can hold it in without sperming everywhere and so continue after the orgasm has subsided.

maybe that was what he was doing.

Or perhaps, like myself, Nitram is all about efficiency and versatility. Whether for hanging towels, changing a flat tire or defending your home, the penis is a multi-purpose tool unlike any other...

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-10-01 01:54pm

LadyTevar wrote:I still fantasize about that day.... and I still wish I'd followed my instincts and just took him to bed then and there. It was another 6 months before we made love.

I guess sometimes the old club-and-drag method really is the best.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-10-01 04:03pm

Zaia wrote: That, or you could always try to woo us into your beds.

Unfortunately, my current financial situation doesn't allow for much in the way of material wooing, ie, dates.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-10-01 04:08pm

DPDarkPrimus wrote:Unfortunately, my current financial situation doesn't allow for much in the way of material wooing, ie, dates.

Bah, it's not just about money, babydoll. Feel free to try without much monetary support.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-10-01 04:13pm

DPDarkPrimus wrote:Unfortunately, my current financial situation doesn't allow for much in the way of material wooing, ie, dates.

Charm my friend, charm. And cuteness helps too, and so does hugging and cuddling and poking her in the breasts...wait, better leave the last one 'till you get naked with her or something.

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2003-10-01 04:17pm

alcohol is also pretty effective if all your after is one nighter, just make sure your drunk too, or else your just taking advantage.

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-10-01 06:13pm

InnerBrat wrote:
The Dark wrote:
Wicked Pilot wrote:When you wake up with the morning salute, just do what I do; ignore it. I just get up, shower, shave, throw on my bag, grab my gear, and head out the door. Somewhere within that time my soldier goes back into his foxhole.
Doesn't work quite so well in dorm life...

Luckily, I'm one of the first ones out each day, so there're maybe three other guys up at the same time, and we're all too groggy to notice anything about the others.
*suppresses memory of coming out of bathroom one morning to be greeted by flatmate's boyfriend's Morning Glory*

suppress, godsdammit, suppress!

The bad one was when I'm walking to the bathroom (I live halfway down the hall from it...four rooms between me and it), wearing just my boxers, and with Wee Willy standing at attention, when a door opens. Apparently two of the guys had snuck their girlfriends in the night before. I think I managed to do the towel twirl quickly enough (no comments from anyone), but it was a damn close-run thing. It was the first time I was fully awake before hitting the shower, though. Panic'll do that to a guy.

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-10-01 06:39pm

Worst (and best) one for me was one night in college. It's about 0300 on a Monday morning -- the halls are silent, the world is deep in slumber -- but I'm 19 years old, insomniac and coming out of the back end of a 6 hour Ren & Stimpy marathon, plus a generous supply of Pabst Blue Ribbon, and for some damn reason I have this gigantic hardon. Then I realize I have to take a piss.

I tried pulling my jeans on over the boxers, but no go -- the damn thing just would not comply, at least not without a good degree of discomfort. I probably could've managed it, grit my teeth and walk very carefully to the facilities, but why? It was three in the morning, no one was up, and I was fairly confident that if I hurried, chances were nil that anyone would see me anyway.

So I listen at the door for a second, then I'm off down the hall -- walking calmly and very carefully. I get within three steps -- three goddamn steps -- of the men's room door (did I mention it was a coed dorm?) when I hear a gasp and two giggles.

I thought I was going to have a heart attack and fall over dead. That was the worst. The best came when I found out the next day from my roommate that three girls had been looking for me, and one of them had left her number.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-10-01 06:40pm

Zaia wrote: Bah, it's not just about money, babydoll. Feel free to try without much monetary support.

I shall.

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-10-01 07:00pm

I'd give it a shot, but I'm not terribly familiar with the exact procedures involved in wooing. I am pretty sure, however, it doesn't involve standing under a girl's bedroom window at night making owl noises.

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-10-01 07:19pm

Raoul Duke, Jr. wrote:I'd give it a shot, but I'm not terribly familiar with the exact procedures involved in wooing. I am pretty sure, however, it doesn't involve standing under a girl's bedroom window at night making owl noises.

I believe you're supposed to make cat noises.

Anarchist Bunny · Post by **Anarchist Bunny** » 2003-10-01 08:25pm

Raoul Duke, Jr. wrote:I'd give it a shot, but I'm not terribly familiar with the exact procedures involved in wooing. I am pretty sure, however, it doesn't involve standing under a girl's bedroom window at night making owl noises.

No no, you throw shit in her hair in class and make fun of her. Thats how it works.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-10-01 08:38pm

No no no, you spank the plank and make groaning noises while looking into her eyes.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-10-01 08:41pm

anarchistbunny wrote: No no, you throw shit in her hair in class and make fun of her. Thats how it works.

There are three steps. First, she, while sitting behind you, bothers you while you're trying to work. Second, you turn around and punch her. Third step; if she laughs at the first two steps, it means she likes you - or at least doesn't dislike you.

Ah, Ashley. I miss her.

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2003-10-01 09:21pm

Xenophobe3691 wrote:
Raoul Duke, Jr. wrote: I'm thinking your kids probably just don't bother trying to pick them. Mine, on the other hand, seem to be on their way to a bright future as safecrackers.
I know exactly how you feel, every kid in my house (Including me) has become extremely proficient in picking the household locks. Locking the door to my room when I sleep now only guards against the parents, anyone else just gets through in 30 seconds or less...

And if my parents buy a keyed lock to the door, it's a safe bet that me and my brother'll have a lockpicking set in the next week, a basic sense of picking three days after, and mastery a week after that. My sister'll follow in a month...

I was doing that with bent paperclips in 5th grade at 3 AM in the morning to get to the computer room...

Why any kid would want to walk in on their parents it beyond me.

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-10-01 09:45pm

Exonerate wrote: I was doing that with bent paperclips in 5th grade at 3 AM in the morning to get to the computer room...

Why any kid would want to walk in on their parents it beyond me.

Oh, no, I don't do that. We just pick each other's locks, it's scary how good we've gotten. We used to pick the lock to the comp room all the time, then my dad installed a lock with a key needed. So we figured out how to bend back the double doors enough for us to flick the switch and loosen them from the frame (They're designed so that if the door without the handle is hooked onto the frame, you can't open the doors, but if it isn't attached to the frame, pushing them back two feet opens the doors). You could tell we were both gonna become engineers...